How do you feel about flaky buyers or sellers?

I helped admin Facebook groups for ot dolls and the founder of the group would keep record of complaints of flakey buyers and sellers. The sellers that come through only after hounding them to were blocked after 3 complaints from members. I’ve had experiences with buyers and sellers that are flakes and I get a feeling about them before, I always end up kicking myself for ignoring my instincts.

 

I actually had a complaint about myself on FB. I had sold several dolls and was ready to ship them to the buyers, but then was diagnosed with covid. I had to isolate at home for almost a month. I tried to get someone else to take the packages to the post office, but could find no one. I explained the situation to the buyers waiting for their dolls, and all except one were very sweet about it and understood that my health was more important than a fast shipment of a doll.

There was one person however, who was NOT happy about waiting. She became very irate, and almost threatening. She accused me of lying about being sick and claimed I was trying to cheat her by taking her money and not sending the doll. She very quickly filed a grievance with Paypal, and demanded a refund. I refunded her money, and she removed the grievance from paypal after a few days,. But it caused my paypal account to be locked up for about a week, so that I couldn't use it at all.
The incident upset me so badly that I almost considered leaving the BJD community, but thankfully the kind words of another couple of buyers got me over that.

 

The complaints I’m talking about are when a seller has excuse after excuse and very slow communication. Also they have to have a record of being that way with multiple buyers, you get to know your members and you hear a lot as admin.

 

It's frustrating. I don't contact a seller before I have actually made the decision to buy the item, so by the time I message the seller, I have basically already bought the thing in my head. I think it's the most irritating if you actually spend time talking to the seller, getting shipping quotes, extra photos, and when you ask for their PayPal to pay, they tell you they're not actual sure about selling the item. But, well, better to be straightforward than to start flaking after the payment is made, I guess.

Flaky buyers do not matter to me that much, because usually someone buys the doll anyway. And I am used to buyers having second thoughts after they hear the shipping fee from my country, lol. I would imagine it would only really matter if I already have started a layaway with the buyer and then they decide to flake. But, I usually state a policy in layaways that I keep a part of the money I already received (around 20% of item price) for my troubles if the buyer requests to cancel the sale without a very good reason. So far, all my experiences with layaway have been positive only.

 

Honestly, it sounds like you went above and beyond good customer service in dealing with such a demanding person. I agree that sellers should be friendly and ready to answer questions that might not be obvious from the listing, but I draw the line when they start asking for free things, or for extras not listed. It's ok to say no. You're a secondhand seller, not a dealer or company. You can't be expected to just have anything and everything "in stock" for potential buyers, and if it's not included in the listing, that really shouldn't be a make it or break it deal to a buyer.

I've just come to accept that "I'll think about it" means "no". I'm not sure if I've ever had someone take time to think about buying, then actually follow through. It seems to me, most serious buyers either say they want it immediately, or they ask a couple of specific questions, then commit to buying.

 

For me as a buyer and/or a seller, it is not a done-deal until money changes hands. I've rarely had any problems either way. The problem with my recent interaction with a customer who changed their mind, was that they had already paid and were demanding a refund. Actually I still would have had no problem giving them a refund if the person had been honest with me and said they simply had changed their mind and no longer wanted the doll, but instead, they tried to make it my fault, claiming I was trying to cheat her, etc. I'm not a dealer, and was only selling dolls because I needed to pay medical bills. I had already used the money she gave me as payment for the doll, and had only held onto enough to pay to ship the doll to her. So I had to borrow money in order to issue a refund.
Fortunately this was an isolated incident. Most of the buyers I've dealt with are lovely people. I really enjoy getting to meet other doll collectors through selling and buying. It is a wonderful part of the hobby.

So anyway, my point is, if I pay for something from a seller, I will follow through unless I have a very legitimate reason for changing my mind. I won't make the committment in the first place, unless I am sure I will follow through. Because of this, I will take a long time to decide before I even tell a seller that I am interested. I also never bother the seller with a bunch of questions or ask for more photos unless something is legitimately unclear. If I need to learn more about a doll, I will do my own research, just as I would from a professional dealer.

 

I've only been a bit 'flaky' as a buyer once - the seller in question didn't reply until a few days later, and by that time there had been a few unexpected personal issues in my life and I totally forgot to check in to DoA and check my PMs. After the first few PMs I totally forgot about the doll, and the seller ended up selling her to somebody else - which is totally what I would have done myself. I felt really bad about having wasted their time, so I'm glad they found a less flaky buyer...

I don't really sell things, so I haven't had to deal with flaky buyers myself, and all the sellers I've dealt with so far have been great. I've only ever had issues with companies, not with individual sellers on the second-hand market. (Knock on wood!)

 

if I were the buyer and they canceled the sale I would feel very bad because I always get my hopes up with a new purchase, but if that person published their things or their doll for some emergency and in the end it was resolved and they retracted the sale then I consider that it is okay and I should be sympathetic about it.

 

Agh, I hate dealing with the secondhand market online. I feel like it's so fun to buy and sell in person, but it is a NIGHTMARE online! I don't even bother buying. It's fun browsing, but I've dealt with too many sellers who suddenly decided they didn't want to sell after all. I get it, but it would have been nice if they gave me a hint like "feeler" somewhere in the description so I'd know not to get too hyped. -_-;

I have some strict selling policies just to avoid flaky buyers. No layaways, no holds, no splitting lots. I don't mind doing things like taking extra measurements just because if one person asks about it, there were usually other people wondering it who didn't bother to ask. I rarely do my own listings anymore just because I don't have the patience for online sales. I just get my brother to deal with people for me and he gets a cut in exchange for me not having to follow up with people who beg you to hold something because it's their dream item...that they forget exists the next week.

 

I've always tried really hard to make sure I am very up front about all my transactions and expect the people I'm dealing with to be the same. I've been in the hobby a long time and from chatting with other collectors who like similar companies, we know who the real flakes are because they do it with everyone, it's rarely an isolated case. I just avoid dealing with the flakes from then on. I found out the hard way that doing layaways is a big risk and so will only take staged payments when I know the person reasonably well or they have reams of A1 feedback. Unfortunately, Facebook groups are like the Wild West! There isn't a good feedback system and buyers or far worse, sellers can just disappear overnight. I've only sold to people I know on Facebook, and would never risk buying... these dolls are too expensive to enter into a transaction on a wing and a prayer for me!

 

Ive sold a lot of items in general for this hobby, my others and also clothing etc and i know ive encountered more flakey buyers for local clothing people who just disappear than i do with the doll hobby but some i do also have and if they arent commiting to buy right away its not sold. even if they promise to send payment. I do hold off bumping that listing or i wont actively sell it, but i do follow up if i havent heard in a bit. I have a no holds without a deposit policy. even if its paid in two payments, i dont mind at all as even deposits are non-refundable.

It definitely takes a whole set of patience and whatnot to deal with sellers and buyers at times... not all the time, ive had some fantastic people for both, but i have had people back out of layaways. if theres a missed payment, i send a reminder or two and give a deadline or if they come to me, then with my non-refundable payments i can easily take that as time spent and relist the item.

I have a job, pets, family, health problems at times etc and things happen, but i prefer to have people be upfront than to waste my time as i know things can change in an instant.

theres a lot of great comments here too...

i also agree, the feedback system out of here (so IG, FB, other sites etc) are just so crazy and sporatic and even those bad transaction groups irk me when people dont post names... how can we search if we cant search the name.. The only feedback i refer to generally is here and ebay since its what is easily seen.

 

It does not bother me, and I don't get offended if a buyer, seller suddenly changes their mind!

Everyone have their reasons, and it does not necessary makes them bad buyers or sellers. Could be someone found themselves in a tricky financial situation, something that happened unexpectedly. You can't blame them if life happens and they suddenly don't have the money to pay anymore and have to cancel buying the doll. Or, maybe someone put a doll up for sale that they meant to sell, but they had a change of heart when they realized selling that doll weren't so easy to do after all!

But the feedback thing bothers me... I always leave people feedback because I think it's the decent and respectful thing to do. But I've had quite a few times where people just did not bother to leave feedback for me.

 

To me if the person has legitimate reason for canceling the order/change the mind, that's totally fine. Financial things happen, people change their mind, etc. As long as the person is open with communication that's alright with me.

But for those who are just flaky for no reason - it really annoys me as well. And those sellers who are trying to fish for higher price by suggesting that somebody else made a higher offer than whatever the original price was marked, that would result in an immediate block from me as well.

Fortunately so far most of the transactions I had were all pretty easy and straight forward!

 

Recently I flaked as a seller. In February I put a 1/3 size doll up for sale which sold very quickly. I also put her eyes up for sale at that time. I did not think I had a doll that I would ever use the eyes because of the size. A buyer contacted me in May and asked for measurements, I provided the measurements and a photo. Then they asked if I could use a 1/4 size doll’s head to model the eyes. I put the eyes in a doll that I had not touched in 10 years. Not only did they fit, they looked great. I canceled the sale. I feel bad about it.

 

I actually just had an issue with a flakey seller, they had pulled the sale without saying anything for a few days. They did tell me why after some pestering, but I was quite upset with the lack of communication, and I was really excited to have found the doll second hand and to be purchasing it. I would never slander anyone for their decisions so long as it doesn't hurt anyone, but its definitely disappointing. I agree with others who have commented, communication!