How do you restrain yourself from buying everything on your wish list?

Literally this!! I had to give my partner my card info so he can keep me in check. I’m the queen of emotional purchasing and there is nothing more satisfying than buying a doll. Problem is... even once the emotions even out it’s hard to regret the purchase which makes it easier to keep buying more the next time haha. What a twisted cycle.

 

I am now at 14 years in this amazing hobby, and I have amassed quite a wonderful collection for myself over that time. At first, my restraints were only financial (so I collected slowly, adding 2-3 dolls per year as my budget allowed, usually taking advantage of layaways.) But as the years have gone by, my restraints have grown more and more space related. These days it’s all about finding the perfect balance between display space and budget for me as I work very hard to finally complete my collection in 2020. That’s my dream goal, anyway. And I ‘m very nearly there, having reduced my wish list to only a small handful of tiny Fairyland Realpukis.

 

Oh my goood. I am the worst with this. I have the money. And I have no self control. BUT me and my boyfriend have a deal that we ll be buying two dolls a year. I would gladly buy every doll on my wishlist (which has 13 dolls on it) but I promised that I wont buy more than what we decided on. So now Im in agony because my wishlist is now final (I hope) and every 6 months I will have to decide WHO I want to buy next. Its just not fair. I want them all right now. *cries in cursive*

 

Wait...we're NOT supposed to buy everything on our wishlist? D:

Kidding aside, I'm pretty horrible in regards to ball-jointed dolls. I have a wishlist but most of the dolls that ended up here weren't on the list at all. I'm a sucker for good deals even if I wouldn't have purchased the doll if it came at full price. I'm trying to get better at it but I keep going "What if I do end up wanting this doll later on? There's no way I'd get a price like this again!".

It doesn't help that I can only purchase preloved or new within the EU. Finding your wishlist dolls isn't a walk through the park this way but it makes finding one even more rewarding. I keep trying to sell the ones that weren't in the original plans but no luck so far. I'm too scared I'll regret selling them.

Now that I read this through I think I might have a case of dolly FOMO.

 

Looking at my bank account when I focus on other hobbies like itabagging which is a huge one for me. I've spent close to 1000 dollars trying to create my perfect bags. After Itabag shopping, I usually don't have enough for my doll's accessories because they tend to be more expensive than when I purchase a couple pins and rubber straps online. I have considered going broke for them, but it isn't something ideal as I also plan on moving next summer and have online subscriptions to pay every month.

 

Each time I see a doll that even remotely interests me, I write it down on an Excel spreadsheet with the date of entry on the wishlist. As time goes by, character and customization ideas start to form in my mind for some of them, and I write down these in a text file. It can be a description of the character's behaviour in certain situations, specific accessories that are required, an eye colour, etc. A lot of dolls don't make it past this stage, i.e. they just look cool or cute to me but don't really inspire me, so I just look at them in other collectors' galleries and enjoy them that way. I change the font of these "less interesting dolls" lines to a light grey with the word "no" as well on my spreadsheet so as to be able to check them out later, but to show that they are not a priority.

When I'm starting to be really sure about a doll, I even have another spreadsheet where I write down specific eye/wig/shoe references so I know exactly what I need to buy and can wait for the appropriate GO or shopping trip on a website when I have enough things to buy. And each time a new doll appears, I ask myself if I like it more or less than grail doll x or doll with complete concept y. Skipping on a lot of sales and sticking to your guns to be able to buy your grail is a great feeling, and it's even better if you have the accessories at home because you planned in advance. I don't buy accessories/eyes/wigs that don't fit a doll that I already have or a planned doll, and when I buy supplies for my knitting projects, I also think of styles or colours that fit my dolls.

I do apologize for the length and hope it can help^^

 

I look at my bank account and the urge goes away

 

Like @PoeticSoul, I've been in the hobby for a long time and have a healthy doll collection. Since I have a variety of sizes and sculpts, I've grown much more picky as to what dolls go on my wishlist. Clothes, props and crafting supplies are a very different matter, tempered mostly by my lack of space and budget.

 

I have not resisted. It's not something I would recommend.

In November of 2019 I had five dolls, all of which I purchased between 2009 and 2016. A very slow progression since I entered the hobby. One of my 10-year grails came up and I begged my husband to buy her as my Christmas present. He did, and then Pandora's box was flown open!

Between January and July of this year, I sold two of my original 5, but have acquired 18 additional dolls. I got back into the hobby and was somehow able to find many dolls I had always wanted rather quickly. Second-hand prices have fallen quite a bit, and I was able to find older Volks sculpts I always wanted on Yahoo Japan for what felt like pennies compared to the prices in 2010.

It has been a combination of grail-aquisition and impulse purchases. Most of the older sculpts I was able to nab for under $200 (Volks girls on their original SD floppy bodies), even with original boxes. So I kept justifying my purchases. Then I put a WTB up for Williams, another ten year grail. Someone replied not a day later so I jumped on that. Then Mandarake had Scarface Reisner, etc etc.

It just spiraled, and quickly. I got a good bonus and promotion this year, coupled with pandemic shopping, and it was a recipe for doll disaster. That's not even considering all of the wigs, eyes and clothes I've purchased for them either.

I have easily spent (edit, did the math, and am shocked) around $10,000+. My husband has been supportive but silently he is probably like "". I know I need to definitely stop.

TL;DR: Don't be me. While I love (almost) all the dolls that I have purchased, some of the parts of what makes this hobby so special have lost their appeal. I used to love stalking the delivery driver, doing the slowest box opening ever, and sitting and enjoying the new doll for hours if not days. Now its kind of like, oh, here's that one I nearly forgot I got. My wishlist may have been diminished, but I didn't do it slow or make it special, and I kind of regret it. It lessens the bond with the doll in some way.

What I've started doing is to stop looking. I was spending a few hours a day combing through sales threads, Y!J and other Japanese selling sites. I was finding things I honestly forgot existed or never knew I even wanted and then buying them because I wanted them impulsively. If you don't look; you can't buy.

 

I know I'm a shopaholic. I love online shopping! But because I know this I can restain from spending money 24/7!
I have many rules what help me to keep my money together. (What is really important these days because I'm moving into my own apartment soon!)

First of all, I only buy dolls I really really want to own! I often think about them for weeks/months. I look through pictures from other doll owners to see if I like this face and if it fits my OCs. I don't buy things like wigs, clothes, and face-up slots because I make this stuff on my own. I spend a lot of time designing and thinking through a project so in the end I only buy the materials that I need.
What helps me to not buy, for example, the beautiful wig I saw on (Etsy, Taobao, and co.) is that I tell myself. "I can do this myself!" and I need to say. THIS HELPS A LOT! (recently I bought a wig but it's more for research purposes)

In the end, thinking about everything and listening to your feelings will help you! Don't do too much or you'll maybe lose your interest in the hobby too fast because when the projects start to stack and you want to finish everything soon it'll feel like work that bothers you.

 

The way I go about this is I never add anything to my list anymore that I am not 150% certain that I want. I have a big list of criteria a doll needs to check if I am to deem that I "need" them to that extent as well. Not only must I like the sculpt, it must also fit a character I already have, and that character must be necessary to the story and not some random extra I made up to justify getting the doll. I also must be comfortable with the size and should be able to work with customizing the doll.

So, despite the large number of different story groups in my doll family (i have 4!) i only have 4 dolls in my wishlist and some bodies, all of which are solid plans that I am not afraid to save towards. I have never been, nor am, in the financial position to make impulse purchases I suppose so that helps! Saving for a doll means months upon months of dedicating funds for them so I have more than enough time to decide if I -really- want them.

 

Mostly? By being broke as hell. This is a very spendy hobby, and there's a reason most of my doll stuff comes to me used. I just flat out can't afford to get everything I would want.

I'd love to be able to though! There's a few dolls that I'd really love to have!

 

I try to keep focus on only one thing at a time. I've stayed away from buying all the clothes I like, by buying a nice sewing machine and supplies only to find I really have such a limited amount of time. It's really about priorities and goals with strong consideration of my finances. I would really, really like to retire a bit earlier than some of my peers. Soon, I will make myself save back as much as I spend on dolls to achieve other long-term savings goals. I'm not great at handling money, but not terrible. Lay-aways help me keep a budget while I still get to add to my collection regularly. Being very picky also helps. When I began the hobby, I had a much larger house, and a significant amount of empty space. It's been some years since and we've downsized and I have less space, so I have to make it count. Also, I like to collect a few more things than BJDs, so sometimes I focus on some other project. I try to have a big routine to welcome a new doll home, make sure they have a shelf spot long before they arrive and take time to appreciate what I already own. If something doesn't click with me after some time, I try to trade or sell it, then whatever I have from that goes back into my collection somehow. I'm also a little bit stingy, so I take my time to make sure that what I'm spending will really feel like it's worth it. Sometimes I calculate how long I spend at work to have x, y or z and think hard if it's really worth it to me. Pretty much the 'worst' money trap I got myself into was collecting all the Angel Philia parts. Luckily, I've only found one or two parts at a time and have to wait until a missing one is manufactured and released, then have my proxy get it for me. It's a long process. Just the anticipation of having something coming to me tends to get me looking forward to that more than anything. I guess just having routines about how I do my purchases, keeping to a budget and making decisions ahead about the priorities of my collection keep me out of trouble. My best advice is to only collect what you really, really like and collect within a realistic budget.

 

Well, I can't buy everything on my wishlist because I've learned that I get overwhelmed once I own more than three dolls in my household. I've recently sold two dolls just so that I can stay within my comfort zone of having three dolls at a time

But if you're not like me and would ask me for advice to refrain from buying more and more dolls, I'd recommend stopping to look at sales thread/your wishlist and rather focus on the dolls you already own. Ideally, this doesn't involve buying new clothes or accessories! Maybe try some posing, taking photos and start posting them on social media if you'd like to contribute to the community there.
And when you get the urge to buy a new doll; ask yourself why this particular doll would be the most amazing addition to your collection and what exactly you'd do with them once the doll arrives.

 

I live alone and have no family who could save me economically in case things went south... so I have to be very careful about money. This, plus adoring dolls and now being a BJD dealer which makes buying dolls for myself 100% easier, makes it hard to resist sometimes.

I think the most important thing is to budget, have savings that you must NEVER touch (specially for unessential stuff like dolls), and think about what dolls do you want and what dolls do you must absolutely have (aka grail dolls). This applies specially for limited dolls, since non-limited ones can be bought anytime as long as they don't get discontinued (so you can just convince yourself to "just get them later"). And once you find THAT doll or dolls, and buy them, keep yourself away from other dolls not as wanted as THOSE ones since "I already bought these grails so for now I will restrain myself".

As an example of the mentioned above: I LOVE BJD dolls and I LOVE the Nier franchise, so when the DD Nier 2B and 9S came out I HAD to get them. I was in a good financial spot at that time and I could afford it. After buying those, I saw a lot of other limited dolls I really liked (Volks Rapunzel or Dolkus Kuroshitsuji's Ciel, for example), but neither of those hold a place in my heart as deep as Nier does, and I had just "sold my soul" to Volks to get those 2 expensive limited DD, so I said to myself "I just got the Nier DD so I can't get into any big purchases for a long time". This mindset really helped me restrain even though I had the money at the time to buy Rapunzel or Ciel.

Also, and I can't stress this enough, do not get into big doll purchases if your economical situation is struggling, and not even into smaller ones (like clothing or shoes or layaways) if you are struggling a lot. No matter how much you love dolls, bills and food and living expenses must be paid and if you end up going overload and spending your living budget on doll stuff, you'll be in a bad place and will probably have to sell the dolls or items to get back the money and pay for bills (often at a non-desirable price because of the urgency), so it is VERY important that you restrain yourself when you don't have at a minimum your living expenses covered + a bit more. It's all about economy, in the end.

That said, I am myself not good enough yet on those things and I have gotten overload in times I overestimated myself or some grial or "super good offer" came out. Noone is perfect, and restraining oneself as a working-class or middle-class citizen (economically speaking) can be hard on this hobby because of the high prices and the bonds we develop with the dolls. So try your best, and do not be too hard on yourself! We are rooting for you

 

I am always poor so I always think twice or even thrice before I put anything onto my wish list LOL. Sometimes I set targets for myself and if I achieve those targets I would buy myself some dollie goods as rewards.

 

I know my limits regarding money. Even if I have some cash flow, I don't spend everything on dolls.

I'm assuming that this is because of my earlier days in the hobby when I had no money, hahaha. I couldn't afford much and I spent almost 10 years buying the minimum. And I'm also super picky for shopping doll accessories (wig, eyes, clothes, shoes).

Either way, it is important to get a balance in your finances. This past months I allowed myself to buy so much more than what I'm used to, but I've stopped even if I can keep buying. I just see the rest of my wishlist, I remind myself that I can wait (not limited dolls) and focus on something else.

 

Here's my break pedal:

these dolls are a LOT of work, effort, space. A LOT!!
It's easy to become overwhelmed and start to feel depressed at having to keep all those dolls organized, pretty, safe, stored, displayed, and then ALL their cr-- I mean stuff.

It can turn into a chore and second job that you'll soon hate. Specially if you already work long hours.
Once the excitement of the unboxing dolls and all their junk wears off, usually quickly, you have to get moving and store, put away, play, maintain, etc etc.

When RL is already crazy busy ( mine always is) I know the LAST thing I need or want is yet another doll. Because the guilt when the dolls just lie around gathering dust because no energy or time for them, is heavy, and real, and that's not even taking economic factors of their cost into account.

 

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One thing I've found really difficult is the pressure of limited dolls. ^^; So far five of the dolls I've bought this year are limiteds... and most of them recent, so I'm paying the layaways on them. And I'm pondering maybe getting one or two more limiteds that are currently out. Seriously, this has been the summer of limited dolls made just to tempt me, I swear. ;o;

I try to only buy dolls if I have a plan for them, or in the case of anthros, they fill a hole in my collection. Most of my dolls are tinies, and I set limits on how much I'll spend on a doll of each size (so, around $150 for tinies, $250 for 25cm and $300 for 45cm). Sometimes I go over, but it has to be something special. A doll has to be more than just cute to make me go over budget, it has to be something I've been looking for and happens to have appeared and is the perfect fit. (Cocoriang Arno was a good example of this - I had been wanting a shiba inu doll for ages, so I made the exception when the limited colour came out.) Usually I'm under budget so it evens out. Most of my wishlist dolls are at least 20% less than my maximum spend.

I'm trying to focus on dolls I have been wanting for a while... but then a cute limited doll pops up and ruins my plans argh. >_< don't do what I'm doing! Be strong and stick to a wishlist.

Edit: a bonus of layaways is it keeps me aware of what I'm buying and how much I'm spending. I put the payment dates in a calendar so I have a reminder of what's going where. If I pay for a doll in one go, I find it too easy to forget that I bought it and my brain wants that new doll hit again. o_o; It helps keep me responsible this way, I think.