How does your partner feel about your bjds?

I'm polyamorous, so I have TWO partners whose opinions matter on this haha! My boyfriend, who I live with and share a lot of finances with has been awesome for helping me come up with a savings plan and ways to make a bit of money to invest in this hobby. He is a fashion guru who has studied fashion design and loves to sew, so he's already mentioned he would love to help me make doll clothes...

My girlfriend (who lives overseas at the moment) is really supportive too! She loves the cute aesthetic. I have a decent amount of savings at the moment, but 99% of it is going to plane tickets to visit her in America at the end of the year, and to help her move to Australia permanently with me at the same time. It's worth it, but I think I need a second savings account T*T

 

My boyfriend thinks it's cute!!

 

My girlfriend actually collects dolls also so it works out? We have two different mindsets about our dolls though. She's into making her OCs into custom dolls and just outfits that fit her aesthetic. I'm more into character sets and modifying stuff into props from shows I like. (Working on a FLCL Vespa and a Jurassic Park Jeep out of some Our Generation stuff now actually) So we're both into the hobby.

I do admit I'm hesitant to share my hobby with strangers due to the stigma but some of my friends know and aren't surprised.

 

My partner likes my dolls. He wishes he was as passionate about something as I was about dolls. He likes the stories and the characters and encourages me to save for new ones. It's really gratifying, especially since my previous partner had problems with the price of my dolls and said, "a house full of dolls [was] creepy".

 

My husband is very supportive about my hobby, and doesn't mind being used as a sounding board as I think up of their stories.

He even takes part once in a while with regards to their props, because he has a hobby of painting miniatures. When he saw the rather hideous-looking plastic swords I recently bought for a bargain from Taobao, he said he just couldn't stand them and offered to turn them into weapons that are worthy of my dolls. Will see what will happen when he gets to it over the weekend.

 

I do not have a significant other, but I would expect a future partner to be supportive of my hobby. It is a part of me, and I would expect them to accept it. Would I expect them to understand/love them? No, but leave me to my hobbies without judgement, and I will leave you to yours.

 

We've looked at them together and he loves them as much as I do.

 

My boyfriend is terrible. He decline to distinguish one doll from another one, girls from men, never uses the names, he call them "things". And if you ask for some help and give a doll to him, he keep it with expressly disgust.
But it's ok, since he doesn't remember how many dolls I have, I always can buy another one and make him believe this doll is an old one ))

 

My boyfriend at first was really nervous because he's afraid of dolls, but after seeing Ian, was actually smitten by him in a way. It helps that the dolls I get are of OCs of mine he knows and we rp with. But we both sort of joke about Ian being our son now and "If we don't have actual kids, at least we'll have our resin children."

 

My partner thinks they're a bit weird and we joked about my (first) new doll, that is arriving soon, to "face the other way" and not look at her when we sleep. All jokes aside, I don't think she has any real issue with it though and since this will be my first one, only time will tell! My doll is going to be so pretty so there won't be anything scary about her in reality!!!

 

I know my significant other is very supportive. She likes listening to what I have to say every time I talk about dolls. And she loves seeing pictures of them too. She’s also an enabler. I say I want a new doll and she says yea just buy one (Not helpful at all when I want to save money haha)! But I’ve asked her like “hey let me know if this is weird or if I’m boring you” and she always says it’s fine and she likes hearing me talk about it.

 

Current boyfriend likes em. One time he was excited when I told him that a doll came home. Yet to show him the dolls since they are not put together yet but I bet he would love em.

My Exes never had issues with them, especially my first ex. He was an artist and was thrilled about them, even thought I sculpted the doll when I first showed it to him. I kinda miss him, if only he didn't pass away. I will be shelling one of his characters into doll(he was making a comic book when he was still alive).

 

The first time my boyfriend saw my doll he told me he wanted to do one of three things to it put a whole bunch of bullet holes in it or blowed up and the last option was burn it to Ash. I told him that he could go to hell before I let him do that because he is my precious little boy that cost me $600. Then he turned around and told me he would give me $600 just so he could do one of those three options to the doll that I own. As you can tell he doesn't like dolls they creep him out.

 

My boyfriend does get creep out with the dolls I have but he does not care. I show it to him here and there. He's just "meh" about it. When he find out the price for the bjd I have, he say i shouldn't collect a lot and be conservative about my spending.

 

My significant other loves hearing me talk about dolls. When I first mentioned that I had one and loved ball jointed dolls, I had to explain what they were. Since then, they've liked hearing about doll plans and always tell me to let them know once I come up with more solidified character plans, or if I get something new in whether it be an accessory or clothing piece or anything else.
They are very excited to see what sculpt the mystery doll I'm getting for Christmas is so I promised I'd send them pictures once I knew. It is honestly all very adorable.

We're both convention goers and they spend a decent amount of money on making cosplays so they are no stranger to the idea of a hobby being expensive.

 

My boyfriend luckily is quite supportive with all my hobbies including the BJD hobby. It's not only because he likes most of my hobbies (he's not too fond of me reading so much because he thinks it's boring XD) but for him it's like... work...? He's an occupational therapist (google says that's the English word for his job... idk?) and supports me in my hobbies for my own mental health reasons as well. He was one big reason I got back on track with not only BJDs but drawing and writing stories again as well for telling me the importance of having hobbies as a counter part to all the stress of life and work and such and giving me the time to actually work on them as well. We live together now and almost every evening he asks me if I want to work on some drawings or would like to write (he'd ask me if I'd like to work on my BJDs but they're still at my mother's place since there's no space for them yet in our place).
Also he really things they are cool and he enjoys looking at them and giving me his opinion on them! He's always jealous of their "cool clothes" which he'd love to have for himself as well... XD
If it comes to money though he keeps telling me at the moment that I can't buy new dolls... But when I give him the right reasons (just like I did a short while ago) he even lends me the money for some BJD things. As long as I pay him back of course! He doesn't like how expensive they are... Though he accepts that as well.

 

I know most people are usually shocked over the price or a tiny bit weirded out, saying that the dolls are scary..

The thing that bothers me the most though is how my partner keeps telling me how stupid and useless this hobby is. I haven't had the chance to get any dolls yet, but now I can finally afford to get my first one after 5-6 years of waiting! I really really want to make my partner feel less salty about the hobby.. Any ideas on how to do it? It means a lot to me and it's really upsetting how she just keeps being mean whenever I mention it

How did people react to you when you told them about your dolls?

 

Sounds to me like you need a new partner. If they cannot support your hobbies...well screw em honestly. Its not like you're doing drugs or harming yourself/others. They're plastic...they're collectibles. As long as you're not breaking your bank trying to buy up every doll you see and not paying your bills, what does it matter?

I could never have a partner who didn't accept my hobbies. I'm not saying she has to be encouraging and like "OMG you should totz buy this doll" but to say its stupid and useless...name one hobby that isn't? Hobbies aren't like, mind blowing...they're made for enjoyment. Your partner should want you to be happy and support your decisions, so long as you're doing so responsibly (I say this because again, if you're breaking your bank and not paying bills by all means your significant other should tell you to knock it off). Being mean about it and being salty about it sounds like a very selfish thing to do. But this isn't about your relationship, you're a grown up and can make your own decisions on that matter.

Most people don't really react badly. I mean I think my husband gets a little more 'crap' from some of the guys he knows that know we have dolls than I do, but its usually more in 'fun' than anything else. I'm open about my collections/hobbies...if someone wants to be rude about it then they're clearly not my friend and they don't deserve my time of day. You can not agree with me, you can even dislike dolls but that doesn't give you the right to put me down for something I enjoy.

To be honest most people respond with just how much money I could make, or how my husband should open up a business and sell the clothes he sews for my dolls....or how all the little miniatures I used to make back in high school could totally be scaled up and used in this hobby. Then again I only surround myself with people who support me. Sure, they would tell me if I was spending irrationally, if my kid wasn't fed/taken care of but I was buying dolls they'd be first in line to beat me...but so long as I'm fed, clothed and everything is in order they're happy and supportive of whatever I want to do.

If its a stranger wanting to say something, sure I might have a panic attack and be a bit emotional at first (Severely agoraphobic, Anxiety, a whole slew of anti-social'ness) but once I feel calm/safe/etc...they mean nothing to me. I think I'm probably more upset over the fact a perfect stranger felt the need to attempt to make me feel bad about myself/what I do than what they actually say...not that very many people have ever approached me to put down my collection/hobbies/etc.

 

Well.. its kinda upsetting when a person that is close to you (whether its your partner or close friends / family) comments negatively towards your hobby. Everyone has their own taste when it comes down to hobby, but hey! What are hobbies for? Its to make you happy. Whether you buy / collect expensive brand bags or jewelry, it all comes down to if your happy about it or not. Unfortunately, not everyone will be accepting towards this hobby due to what ever the negative reasons they have. I got tired of explaining every bits of details about this hobby to people who were just trying to comment negatively so I always say, "This hobby makes me happy" and some people came to understand that.

I had a similar experience like you but with my best friend. My best friend teased me a lot and commenting that my dolls are a waste of money and she would rather spend it on something else or even go on a vacation etc. Those comments did hurt me a little since it was coming from my best friend but when I told her that this hobby makes me happy and it helps with me depression, she kinda understood.

Maybe you can try to talk to your partner that this hobby means a lot to you one more time. Why not share a story about how you have gotten into this hobby and you have been waiting for 5-6 years and you are very happy that you could finally afford one?

 

I feel like it's one thing to not really ever 'get' the hobby, but it's quite another to call it 'useless and stupid'. The former is understandable, I don't get my partner's love of esports (they're like sports! but with video games?!) but he has them on all the time and I ask if his team is winning and if there's a big game coming up and he tells me about it. I don't understand the appeal but I like to listen to him enthuse about stuff so it's all good. He has no real interest in dolls but when I make things for them he compliments them and even keeps an eye out for cute socks I could turn into sweaters.

Calling something you like 'useless and stupid' is crossing a line to me. It's disrespectful to you, because they obviously know you do not find them stupid at all. It's a hobby for goodness sake, they're not supposed to be useful, they're supposed to make you happy.

I guess I would advise a heart to heart. The fact that they are being so disparaging of something you've told them you like is a huge red flag. If this is the ONE thing that they are mean about, perhaps you can come to some kind of compromise by telling them what hurts your feelings and why. If they disparage you over your other interests, friends, or family... I would consider that more than one red flag and a very good reason to reevaluate why they are your partner in the first place.

... this got way more serious than I originally intended, but it is very concerning to me that they would be so mean to someone close to them, especially over something that's supposed to be fun and full of joy.