How does your partner feel about your bjds?

I couldn't agree more with you guys. @errinreynolds my boyfriend has exactly the same anxiety as you, 100℅ as you described! He's not in the dolls hobby, but he likes to play video games, collect warhammer figures and Formula 1. The thing is, it doesn't matter what's your hobby, they are a total waste of time/money for other people. And in my honest opinion, if you really don't have any hobby... Well, that could mean that you don't have free time (baaaad thing) or you don't know how to spend your free time (also bad!). What I mean is that it's important to have fun and how you have fun is never a waste. I think OP you should talk to your partner to let her know it's important to you. If she wants you to have fun only the ways she finds "ok"..that's a problem that should be discussed. No one should "adapt" or "supress" their way to have fun because in the end there'll be no fun at all.

 

First of all, I'm really sorry your partner made you feel bad. I'm not going to offer relationship advice on the matter (lord knows I'm not the go-to gal on that stuff...), but just know that even if they're negative about it, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or with your love of the hobby. You've got friends in us, though

As for how people react, they generally think I collect some kind of Barbies when I say I collect BJDs, so I have to do a bit of explaining. I rarely mention the cost of this hobby because that makes people freak out. Buuuut I know people who have more invested in things like trading card games or tabletop battle games than I do in all my dolls combined. So, it's really a 'pick your poison' kind of thing in my opinion.

As everyone has been saying, hobbies are here to make you happy. If that's dolls, then more power to you! It sucks that your partner isn't supportive, but if it makes you happy, keep at it. There's too much negativity in this world that if you can find something that brings you joy, even if it is little resin people, then go for it!

And like I said, we're always here! We've sold our souls too

 

My husband isn't in the hobby or all that interested, but he likes that I have something I enjoy and all the creative things I do because of this hobby--sewing, painting, sculpting props, making tiny foods and more. He encourages me and supports me with it, not because he likes dolls, but because he likes seeing me happy. Same way I don't care for his computer games, but I cheer with him and get excited over his achievements (He's ranked within the top 700 in the world in Diablo 3, so even though I don't know how big of an achievement that is, I'm still proud of him because it makes him happy!)

Other people weren't really surprised either. I've loved all kinds of dolls my entire life, so it just kind of made sense that I'd take it a step further. Some people warmed up faster than others, and I did have to explain to some that these aren't cheap mass produced junk. They're sculpted and cast by artists, they're made to be customized art pieces. They're not children's toys. They can be part of many other hobbies- sewing, painting, drawing, writing, sculpting, photography, roleplay, design, diorama making and more. Most of them will hold value over time, so if you change your mind about the hobby, you can sell them instead of just throwing them away. It's not that different than collecting sports memorabilia, purses, shoes, action figures, video games, model trains or whatever other "useless" things people spend lots of money on. The whole definition of a luxury hobby is something you don't need, but enjoy. Explaining these things might help your partner see the value in the hobby, might not, but I think the important thing here isn't even about the hobby, it's about her respect for you. She doesn't have to join the hobby, buy her own doll, she doesn't even have to love your doll or take an interest in it, but I think it's important in a relationship to respect each other and not put down harmless things that make the other happy. Talk to her, ask her why she's so against the doll. Ask her why she feels it's "stupid". You never know, there could be a deeper reason--is she afraid of dolls? Does she think you'll spend all of your money on dolls and not be able to pay bills? Is she afraid of being replaced by the doll? Does she think owning dolls is a sign of something bad? Is she worried about what other people will think? Get to the root of it. Communication is important. Find out why she's opposed and calmly explain why you are interested in the hobby, and try to find some middle ground.

 

Does your partner collect something? My husband is into model railway, so he really understands the aspect of an expensive hobby and crafting. He is very supportive and we sometimes talk to each other how to make things. He also helps me with things, particularly with metal items and electricity. He also tells me when he thinks something does not look good. I am really happy about that. Sometimes he also says I should reconsider about starting another project and maybe finishing something else first.

However, in the beginning he was a bit...strange towards my guys. I did not understand at first, but he was somehow afraid that I would play more with them than with him. So I really had to prove the opposite. Now he is totally okay with the guys and likes them a lot. Maybe it helped that I started a group of his favorite comicbook movie characters and went on to my own characters. So he could help me, as he knew how their costumes and accessories had to look like. On the opposite, I also help him with his model railway regarding how to build things. So we both help each other, which I treasure extremly highly.

Maybe there is a way you can involve him like that? If you are so totally of different opinions about your hobby, you really should reconsider what is more important to you - he or your hobby. In a relationship, you really have to have a common basis. If that does not exist, it well get quite difficult after the first hot love has worn off.

 

Well i kinda have the same problem b4 i got my dolls! Everytime i wanted to buy my bf would tell me that its a waste of money, its not good to buy used dolls as nasty stuffs dwell inside them, its bad luck etc etc! So after many years later i saw 1 i really like and bought her secretly! Now i have a few dolls and even convinced my bf to get his own.

 

All of my close friends know I collect dolls, and their reactions are usually positive. Oddly my male friends are the most fascinated by my doll collection. The husband of one of my friends came into my room so he could fix my ceiling light, and he was amazed at my BJDs. He thought they were really cool.

 

You cannot make anyone feel anything. Your partner is free to feel whatever she wants, you're not controlling her or anyone else's feelings.

You're only in control of your actions, and with the doll hobby you're not doing anything wrong. This hobby does not harm anybody, and you don't need anyone's approval to buy dolls.

Why not ask her to now speak ill of something that's precious to you? I can't imagine how your dolls can hurt or upset anybody. She can dislike them all she wants and keep her opinion to herself.

My husband, for example, likes to build the biggest LEGO sets on the market, some excavators, trucks, buses and other abominations from Technics series. I think they're ugly, huge and useless: once it's built, you can't do anything with it, it just occupies space and collects dust. Yet he insists on displaying them in the house and buying more. I sometimes tell him that maybe he could dismantle and sell those machines, but in the end of the day it's his house and his money, and he can do what he wants. His LEGOs are all eyesores, and there's nothing he could say or do to make me like them, but it doesn't hurt me, so I just put up with it.

 

People are always fascinated whenever I tell them. I have the usual "Dolls are scary, don't let them near me" reactions. My sister surprisingly had positive feelings when I showed her the dolls despite her being afraid and finds them really pretty, but she tells me that it's a waste of money. I justify it by buying things for myself, our inside joke thing that I should equally spend money for things that I will use myself.

My partner had been really supportive when he saw them. He is always excited whenever I tell him that I will pickup a doll package. I'm sorry that some don't really have a supportive partner, but hopefully they could realize that these dolls are important to us and that they make us happy.

 

Both of my partners are supportive, and one of them has a doll of his own. The other one is interested in sculpting his own and doing face ups and mods. They both criticize me for my shopping addiction though and help talk me out of impulse purchases.

 

I love this discussion! My husband is really sweet and I will never take him for granted. He supports me so much in everything I do, no matter how odd or strange it may be. He encouraged me to get my first BJD, because I have wanted one for so very long. He think's its no different than any other hobby, which really it isnt. He has even had to help me hold her head while I try and dress her in something LOL.

 

My bf was really weirded out by bjds at first and thought they were a waste of money but is now really really supportive and encouraging. He always listens to me gush about them and asks to see doll projects I'm working on and compliments me. He's actually said to me that he finds it really interesting to listen to as it's a hobby he will never be into and doesn't know much about. It makes me so happy! He's asked next time he's at mine to look at some of the doll stuff I've got as I recently got my first bjd clothes and finished my first yarn wig.

 

This is too cute and I LOVE IT!!! YES TO YOUR BOYFRIEND *insert stamp of yes*

 

My boyfriend supports my hobby hahaha but sometimes he stops me from impulse buying dolls and doll items hahahah Im really grateful to him

 

The love of my life is a lot more logical when it comes to money than I am. I just want to constantly spend. Fortunately we came up with a deal, where I get to spend half my income and had to save the other half for spending while I’m in uni. She’s still so supportive with dolls though! She’s helped me find so many sculpts for characters that matter to bit of us, but has also helped me slow down and complete my current crew before I add any new dolls. I can be very honest about my budgeting with her, with one exception... I’m saving up to shell one of her characters with a wedding ring in his head—of course not for 3.5-4.5 years, once we’re both out of school and have lived together, but it doesn’t feel like too soon to start saving. I just love my girlfriend so much. She’s supportive of all the aspects of my life and helps me to be a better person and I love her!

 

My boyfriend love just the anime doll, bjd is too creepy for him buuuuut He love minifee and my Narae XD

 

he doesnt really see the point in them and doesnt really like dolls but he wont ever tell me i cant have them or they are stupid as he knows i like them so understands that i will get them.

 

When my boyfriend and I started dating, my small little dorm room had a whole shelf of Monster High dolls, so me transitioning into BJDs a few years later wasn't an entire shock. He has no interest in dolls but enjoys seeing me have fun in the hobby. A big "idgaf" for him is it is coming out of my bank account and not shared one, haha...

I will say, he thinks Sparrow is possessed with her "glowing" red eyes as her gem pupils shine in almost all light so I have come home before to a sheet or a bunch of boxes stacked in front of my dolls! He likes my girls with human eyes much better, lol.

 

My husband is supportive of my hobby. But not if they sit around eyeless. XD He doesn't remember all their names, but he'll give a critique if I need it on a wig or clothes I've made for them.

He wasn't always supportive though, it's actually been the last couple of years that he's gotten that way. (My first bjd was a wedding gift from him though, so he started it! XD) He's told me that he likes how it helps me be creative when he knows I feel like a robot most of the time. (I used to draw all day every day since I was 10 years old and had to stop when I had kids) He likes when I'm enjoying myself.

 

My fiancé doesn't really get it, but he's very supportive. For my birthday (just recently) he got me a doll wardrobe as a present, which was the greatest surprise ever, and really meant so much (more than he thought it would I'm sure). He also suggested that I use our credit card to finish my Souldoll Layaway, and then pay us back as I had intended to pay Souldoll. When I was feeling down the other day, he came over and started talking about dolls with me to make me feel better. Essentially, he sees how happy they make me, so he has no problem with them!

 

My husband likes to dabble in photography so I've enlisted him to help take portraits of the dolls. He's not passionate about them but he likes feeling included in some way, and that makes it fun for both of us