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If family ruined your doll...

Feb 18, 2012

    1. I had a doll with me while staying at my sisters, she decided it would be funny to let her dog into the room to jump on me to wake me one morning and unfortunately he got at the doll (the doll was on the bedside table). The faceup was damaged and I was quite upset.

      Unfortunately my sister was not well off financially at the time so after speaking with my mom about it I didn't ask her to pay for the damage done. I was upset about it and I was upset that no one paid for the damage done but... it's not like she set out to damage the doll maliciously so... Why hold onto the anger? I forced myself to get over it after a while.
       
    2. It is my policy to inform people when something is of great value and I usually emphasize that with the cost when it comes to my dolls. Whoever still wants to touch my dolls after that are allowed to but with me sitting right there. Sometimes I will do the handling to show them what the doll can do. This way, the odds of accidents happening are very rare.

      If it was an accident, it meant it wasn't deliberate. I am very good at fixing broken objects so I can't imagine hanging on to the anger. I do picture not letting the person near the collection again though!
       
    3. Accident or not, the person is responsible to pay me full price for the doll in question.

      I do not tolerate children who have not been taught that the world is NOT their playground and anything in it is not something they can maul, break or chew. Parents who have not taught their children this will not be invited to my home with their children.

      I feel VERY lucky that the children in my life respect dolls and even own one or two of their own. Yes, I know a five-year-old with three dolls (tinies) and he takes care of them, makes them beds and plays gently with them. He also does not touch any of his parents' large dolls, partly because they would overwhelm him with their weight. He will sit next to them on the couch and watch TV, though!
       
    4. They would have to die ... slowly, painfully ... involving honey and fire ants...
      No seriously, it depends on the situation. I am very clear to everyone who visits that the dolls are for looking at, not touching. But accidents do happen. My stepdaughter went to hold one when no one was in the room, and her head came off. (I was working on it at the time and hadn't fastened it tightly). She panicked and hid behind the sofa sobbing. Poor kid. We had a long discussion about "we cry over people, not over things." Would I be unhappy about it if a doll was ruined? Very. But if it was an accident, how could I punish the person? I make mistakes too.
      However, if it was done maliciously or out of carelessness, that would be a different matter.
       
    5. Depends of the person in my family, really.

      I live with my mom and my sister, and they know not to touch my doll, because of her value. And generally, they just respect my possessions! Say my mom was cleaning my room or something, and somehow knocked her over and broke something on her, I would be upset of course but I would forgive her because it was an accident.

      However, my sister and I had an argument once, and she threatened to break my doll when I wasn't around. Although she didn't, if she seriously broke my doll, I would sue. No kidding. I would take her to court for small claims, and she would pay for it.

      Just my piece :P
       
    6. If it was a true accident I would most likely forgive, as long as the person responsible(in case of young kids the parents would be responsible) would not be rude/impolite about it
      I always learned that if you break something, whether on accident or not, you apologise and if it's valuable you offer to pay at least part of the replacement/repair costs. If someone would just brush it off as "meh, accident, don't get upset over a toy" I would make sure they pay for it to be replaced or repaired

      And if on purpose. Whoever was responsible will have to pay. I don't care who they are, why it happened or whatever. You break it, you buy it.

      In this I make no difference on who it is, be it my sister, grandma, a friend or the plumber coming to fix my toilet.
       
    7. Every single person in my family and extended family collects something, so small people are taught to respect collectibles at an early age. I think it must be genetic. In any event, my dolls are out of harm's way unless I am playing with them, and unlikely to be involved in accidents. My family members, of course, are far more precious to me than anything I own, and if someone broke something accidentally, I would repair it. I am far more likely to break something than they are, so I don't worry about it.
       
    8. My God, I would be so. Traumatised. By this. I don't think I would ever forgive my mother if this happened. Luckily my mum wouldn't do something like that, but just the idea of it is making me quiver with rage. I don't want to make assumptions, but your mother does sound slightly deranged O.o
      If this happened to me, as I said, I wouldn't forgive them unless there were abject apologies AND forking out to replace/fix the doll. If there was neither, I wouldn't hesitate to steal from my own mother to get back a bit of the money I had to spend due to her uncontrollable rage, because I would see this not as my fault, but as hers.
      People should learn to control their emotions. Throwing your child's treasured possession against a wall is not a healthy way of dealing with anger. Sheesh.
       
    9. LOL....my family refuses to even go near my dolls! So, I can't see how they would/could damage them, either accidentally or intentionally. I do think that if someone did damage one of my dolls, I'd be asking for some kind of financial help in getting the replacement parts or whatever. If it was my mom or dad, I know they'd feel bad enough about it to agree. If it was my sister or her husband....well, I don't think I'd press so hard, because they're kind of strapped for cash!

      I know that family comes before possessions, but really...if I was the one damaging a family member's expensive, prized possessions....I'd expect to be held responsible too! It'd be nothing to hold a grudge about. I just think people should be responsible for their actions.
       
    10. If my mother had EVER taken anything & deliberately broken it, she would have found stuff gone/broken of her own. Not saying that's ok, just stating what kind of little devil-child I was. What she DID do, when I was in college, was throw away all my comics - including the 1st Spiderman one. Each year I tell her the current value of that LOL She thought comics were trash....
      I of course HAD 2 devil-children of my own... one of whom is living w/me right now (she's 30 BTW).
      If she broke one of my dolls it would be by accident - she's pretty careful w/them (albeit scornful).
      My kids did break or ruin valuables during their childhood years - that's what happens w/kids. I punished them when they deliberately trashed something but other than that, hey! My kids, you know?
      If friends break stuff, I get reimbursed. Usually from HH insurance, BTW which is totally necessary if you own valuable stuff. If they deliberately break it they get to replace it.
       
    11. I'm sorry but family or not, they would be paying for all repairs to my broken doll. If they're careless enough to let a child play with my expensive dolls and damage them, then of course they're going to be paying for it. It's just the way my family is run.
       
    12. Young children don't go anywhere near my doll without supervision, other wise my doll is closed and locked when I have anyone younger then 13 visiting.

      As for Family, My closest family members ones know the value of my dolls, (Both in price and emotional) Because they are aware of how much work it took to save up and buy my collection over the years.
      So they don't touch my doll without asking first and even then they do it very carefully.

      If they happen to have an accident, I'm sure that they would apologize and if it was a bad enough accident to warrant replacement parts, they would help me by offering to buy the replacement parts.

      I haven't had an bad enough accident yet...

      ---

      Hearing family members throwing dolls around and purposely braking them is upsetting, even if it wasn't my doll. HOW dare they!? Surely you can do something to get them to pay for the damages.
      If something like that happened to me, I would steal from said person cash or other things. (To sell) to get my money.
      And/or take them to small claims court, I keep every sales receipt in records of my dolls.
       
    13. It sounds as if you handled it more maturely than your mother.

      Throwing someone's beloved possession against a wall and breaking it is... Just Wrong. Especially when the person doesn't apologize and make it right (by paying to fix the damage).

      I can see how a parent can become very angry and frustrated, but... Anyway, I'm very sorry that happened to you. The doll, although important, is secondary to having someone do that to you. But I guess people are just human and have their faults.

      ---------

      As others have said, an accident is an accident. And sometimes that still means someone should offer to have the damage repaired or made good in some way.

      Intentional damage is just nasty, wrong, sick, and evil. And they obviously have anger issues that need to be treated! Truly... whatever is damaged... it is just a replacement for doing damage to the actual person, and that is NOT healthy!!! It is not uncommon for people to behave that way, but it's still wrong. :(
       
    14. first i will be really really really upset, and hid all my doll in a place that my family dont know.because they think is a cheap doll..if they ruin it they think they just buy it another one to replace,but when i tell them the price and the meaning they will think me just like a child.
      the dolls are my own "precious". i threat them like my own child and family,so i will get really upset and really angry for those person who mess up my BJDs....
       
    15. My fiance's daughter did a bit of damage to some of my other dolls, but I got over it. No one touches my BJD though, but if an accident did happen, I'd get over that, too, I imagine.
       
    16. Accident or not... I'm already very possessive of my belongings, and I know intimately well that most in my family cannot even respect their own belongings... The head I currently have is still in his box, padded in all the bubble wrap he came in, the box in a cabinet. No one would have any business so much as opening his box unless they had explicit permission, and once I get my next doll it will be the same.

      Point being, given the fact that I keep my belongings out of sight from others as a statement that I don't want them touched, if family--or anyone else--went through my things, messed with my doll and damaged it-accident or not-I would expect to either be paid to replace what was damaged, or they would be replacing the whole doll. Family or not, I respect people's belongings, and I expect the same.
       
    17. If it was a complete accident, such as falling or knocking something over, and the family member could not afford to pay for the doll, I would let it go completely or allow them to pay for it in small parts if it was reasonable for them to do so.

      I avoid letting children in my apartment, (My apartment is entirely child-unfriendly, and I don't want them to injure themselves or break anything) but if they did have to come in, I would probably watch them myself. However, if somehow it did happen, and a child destroyed a doll (or anything for that matter) because the adult responsible was not paying attention, I would expect for the damage to be paid completely and as soon as possible. If the person absolutelly could not pay for it for financial reasons, I would be very annoyed, but would let it go aside from that fact that I would use it as a reason to never allow them with the child in my apartment again. If they refused to pay for it because they did not think they should have to, or they did not think it was worth it, I may not be able to let it go. Besides, the only people I know who I can realistically see doing something like this are not people I need to see in order to be happy.

      Edit: (I hadn't even thought of this, but after reading a very unfortunate story above, I thought I would add it)
      If someone broke one of my dolls out of anger, I would expect them to pay for the damage and go to therapy for anger issues. If there was any disagreement that the person's behavior was wrong, or if any similar behavior continued, the relationship would be strained to say the least. I do not think it is healthy behavior to get so angry at a person, you smash their belongings. If this happened, I think I would be less angry about the broken doll and more disturbed and concerned over the person's lack of self-control.
       
    18. I would absolutely expect to be reimbursed for whatever damage was done-- or at the very least, I would expect them to offer to do so!--, either by the adult in question if they had done it or by the parents of the child. Just because someone is family doesn't mean they should be allowed to get away with ruining something that belongs to me and that is very valuable. Admittedly, I think I would be more upset if it was a child that ruined my doll, if only because people in my family with small children all coddle the heck out of them and literally treat them as if the world is and should be their playground.

      It doesn't really help that the people who're related to me are all waaaaay more well-off financially than I am, and, possibly correlated with that, their kids have waaaaaay less of the idea in mind to treat possessions, even their own, with respect because that's not something that they really teach them. I mean, if you want to raise your kid that way, then go ahead, but don't expect everyone else to be pleased/okay with it when they break something. :/

      Admittedly, I already hide my valuable things when parts of my family with children come to visit, so if something did happen because their child got into my room unsupervised... Yeah, there would basically be hell to pay.
       
    19. It's very unlikely that any of my family members would damage my doll. In the few instances I can think of where that might happen, I would forgive them. As an example, I'd had dolls shipped to my parents' house because I thought I might be traveling when the doll arrived. If it's going to be a while before they can get the doll back to me, I'll ask my mom to check to make sure there aren't any problems (forgotten face-up, chips, etc). She doesn't like doing this because she's worried about touching them, but she will check for me. If she accidentally scratched a face-up or chipped one, I wouldn't blame her because it'd be my fault for asking her to check the doll. Another example: when I was moving, my dad filled his truck with my dolls so they wouldn't have to be put on the moving van and I couldn't fit them all in my car. If they'd been damaged in transit, I would consider it my fault for asking him to transport them.

      On the other hand, if I had the type of family who were careless with my dolls and picked them up without my permission, I'd be furious. I wouldn't care if it was an adult or child. If a niece/nephew damaged them, I'd be mad at them and their parents because they're all old enough to know that you shouldn't touch other people's property. I'd try to get the parents to pay me back for any damages, and I'd hope that they'd communicate to their kid that what they did was wrong.
       
    20. I don't think I would demand money from my family if a doll was somehow damaged. Accidents happen...Even if it were done maliciously I don't think I would. I would just stop associating with them.

      I really think though, if my doll was damaged it would probably be my fault for having it within the reach of who ever was doing the damaging.