Introducing BJDs to Boyfriend/Girlfriend/ect

Is it normal that...don't get me wrong, I love my dolls, but sometimes I get embarrassed and afterwards I just feel so bad.

I love my dolls I don't want to be embarrassed of them

 

I think it's always best to be open and honest. I experienced something similar with my (now) fiance. We were just starting to date, and we walked past a sign for the newest Pokemon games (Diamond and Pearl at the time). I've been in love with the games since I played Yellow. He didn't know that I liked them and was already playing them and made some comment along the lines of: "Seriously, how many more will they make? Nobody plays these anymore." I was really embarrassed and hurt, but didn't say anything at the time. A week or so later, I built up the courage to tell him that I still played Pokemon, and I don't think he even remembered the comment he made, and just replied that he hadn't played them in years and that he would play them with me. 10 years later, we each take one of the new releases and play together. He is also very supportive of my BJD hobby and plush collection. Sometimes a person's initial reaction can change if they didn't realize how much it means to you.

On another note, reborns are nothing like BJDs aesthetically speaking. I know a lot of work goes into them but I understand his reaction, as I am creeped out by them myself. It's a knee jerk reaction for some people. I've never liked baby dolls, but I would never criticize a hobby if I knew the person loved it and was passionate about it.

 

I was actually at a doll show with my husband. He was pointing out the bjds and fashion dolls as he knew I liked them. Then, we came across a reborn. His reaction was pretty much shock and horror and he did all he could to hold it in and be polite. I don't think he had any idea reborns existed and initially thought it was a real baby. Probably not the best way to learn about reborns. I'm fascinated by how incredibly real they look and the skill needed to make them so. Honestly, they would fit right in at an art museum. But I don't want one myself.

I'm sharing this because even though they're both dolls, there is definitely a line between them. You might consider telling your new guy about the dolls rather than just let him stumble upon them. He may not judge you for them, but a lot of people have a bit of doll phobia and need to work themselves up to it.

 

Initially I was so nervous to show my boyfriend my dolls because I knew the stigma that came with it. (How they're creepy and that people who like them are kind of creepy)

I was afraid that he would think I was weird or something. He was really cool about it. He told me that it was just another thing that he knows about me and that made him feel a bit awkward but also happy.

There's nothing wrong with who you are or what you like but I understand being scared of someone you care about rejecting you for it

 

I never hid that I liked dolls. My boyfriend doesn't necessarily approve of the hobby but he doesn't actively disapprove either. I think he is more concerned about the cost than anything else. There is no point in hiding aspects of yourself if you truly want to be with someone. You will never be happy unless you can be yourself completely and if they love you they will love you no matter what. While my boyfriend would never buy me anything doll related, he will still compliment the things I make for them because he recognizes it makes me happy and he really does appreciate the time and skill that went into the project. Just be yourself.

 

Hello there, i wrote a huge paragraph with a shiz tonne of my thoughts and advice on the matter and then accidentally refreshed the page . It's proabbly for the best becausse i could have really just summed it all up with this sentence:
Like many have mentioned in the thread above it is understandable that you are scared of telling him, but the relief of having it said allowed and being able to enjoy your hobby out in the open will override that so I feel as though it would be better for you if you came open about it. He may not get it at first, but if he really does care for you than he would understand that this is something that you like and that brings joy into your life.

 

Unless his issue as at dolls in general, I don't think the dislike for reborns would necessarily mean they didn't like dolls. Reborns are waaaay too uncanny valley for me personally, but I obviously love my bjds (and various other dolls) -- otherwise I wouldn't be here!

I don't have much advice since, when I started collecting bjds, I had already been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and he already knew I collected dolls. XD; He's not too interested in them, and finds some of them creepy sometimes, but he did seem kind of intrigued by dollfie dreams - though, not so much the associated pricetag, lol! But, other than it just not being "his thing," he's been relatively warm/supportive about it. He buys a lot of high-price tech and all he really had to say about it was that he can't really judge because of that; he has his interests, and I have mine.

What I can say is, though, if someone gets nasty about a simple hobby - that doesn't harm someone - they might not be the one for you. It's always best to be honest and, if bjds mean a lot to you (not you specifically, but in general), it'll come out sooner or later and it's better to find out if investing that time and energy in it is worth it or not sooner rather than later.

 

This is such a painful topic for me right now. My boyfriend is "scared" of my BJD xD We've been dating for over 3 years right now. However, my doll was storing at my parents' house, since I didn't have an opportunity to bring him over with me to another country. This winter I finally put myself together, pack my boy and brought him with me. My boyfriend and I are living together, so he has no choice but to see my BJD. I am slowly mentally preparing him for a day, when I'm going to restring and wash my doll.
It is a hard process to engage and explain my hobby to someone else, but I'm trying to find a middle ground and explain my feelings towards it. The other day I was buying mr. super clear and my boyfriend asked me to buy one for his Gundams. It is definitely getting better.
So, I think, if person loves you, he/she will try to understand you, even though it takes some time

 

I was embarrassed about my want to be a part of the hobby at first, and finally I broke and told him about it and that I was embarrassed. He's been nothing but supportive, though, cause he knows I won't go overboard and spend money I don't have. He actually thinks it's kinda cool, how I can take some blank canvases of resin and turn them into physical versions of my characters!

 

My long distance partner has a doll phobia. I'm very understanding-- there are a lot of things I'm scared of that other people I know love. At least when my partner is able to visit, I can put the dolls away in boxes in the closet and they'll be fine, so I have it easier than people who need to introduce a partner to, say, a pet that might be phobia-inducing. Since right now neither of us can see ourselves moving to a new continent, there's no real rush to change my day-to-day or their comfort level.

Knowing they have that phobia, I did think it was very special when they offered to look at one of my dolls' pictures to see how they could handle it. Maybe in future they'll want to see more pictures to try and exposure therapy it up a bit before a visit, but it's okay with me if that's not something they're comfortable with any time soon-- what is important to me is that they're supportive of my being in a hobby that is super duper not for them! They encourage me doing conventions and working on doll-related skills and crafts, and think it's neat that I share the hobby with other important people in my life, and the two of us share different hobbies.

 

At first my husband (then boyfriend) was apprehensive of them. He didn't like them around too much but eventually he found ones he actually liked a bit and was able to develop a tolerance toward them and sees them as any other hobby. Sometimes people just need time to adjust to something different.

 

Reborns are a whole other doll game. Have you seen the 'Live Forever As You Are Now With Alan Resnick' video? Those dolls tread way past the rocks with eyes stage for me. But, I still like other dolls. All a matter of taste and preference.

My husband hates dolls. He especially hates BJD because of the cost and what he's seen over on tumblr. BUT, just because he doesn't like my hobby, doesn't mean he disrespects me. As long as I'm using my own money and the bills are paid everything is peachy. He has some hobbies I'm not overly fond of, I think that's just normal. You aren't going to agree on everything all the time.

Now, if you are getting abuse and harassment over your dollies, then that's cause for concern. I'd be reevaluating the relationship if it got to that point. No one deserves to be crapped all over for their hobby.

 

I've had 2 SOs in my life while being into bjds. It was never an issue because both of these guys are gamers. I think gamers are going to be able to understand a little bit easier because character development and customization is very similar. Not everyone likes dolls because it can remind them of scary movies or even dead people! That's okay too. Dolls are usually associated with playthings for little girls, but plenty of adult men and women collect dolls and enjoy them in their own ways. In the whole wide world of doll collecting, bjds are very tame. Some people get put off by reborns because they look so real and the roleplay is very real. The life-size realistic dolls can really scare people, they just get into the uncanny valley due to them looking so real. I get it, I just prefer my dolls to be handsome guys, unique girls or cute kids that remind me of my own childhood or children I've seen grow up.

Everyone has hobbies, dolls are really, really tame compared to some. The only valid concern is spending beyond the budget, since romantic partners might be looking at the relationship for the long-term. The more people you date and befriend, the easier it will be to see habits and behaviors that make you incompatible. It happens, so if this guy is trying to make you feel bad about how you like to enjoy your 'me time' then he's probably going to try to make you feel bad about other things as well, to the point you cannot be yourself at all. That's not a good thing, don't tolerate that. Everyone, single or in a couple, needs time to do their own thing on their own.

If he's a decent and mature adult, he might poke fun just a little bit if he doesn't know how else to react. Just communicate that this is your hobby, it's important to you. I mean, we are grown people that play with dolls and that's not terribly common, but not unusual either. If anyone ever tried to make me feel bad about my dolls I would say something like this. 'This is what I do because it makes me happy. It's okay if you don't like it, but I do.' Most of the time, that will be enough.

 

Ok, here's some perspective from a skater guy. Well I was a skater many years ago (mid to late 80's) but the lifestyle and philosophy and all that never goes away. First of all, skaters back then anyway were generally laid back and welcoming of other people, other things, other ideas. As far as reborn babies, I think this is a very different thing than your typical BJD. I'm not sure I'd call myself strongly opinionated, but I definitely think they're kind of weird and creepy. Not sure about an elaborate diorama thing. He may perceive this as "a little much". I would. But if that's you, fine. As others have said, be yourself now, otherwise it'll be more complicated to open up later. Do yourselves both a favor and don't keep things hidden. That's not what either of you are signing up for. But if the diorama, characters, personalities, etc thing isn't you, I wouldn't make it up or accentuate it.

 

Great advice!

It is a bit of a dilemma, but you hope they will understand.

 

In all honesty I have been one very lucky girl. My husband is 100% supportive of my hobby and has even helped me with restringing and other dollie projects. Of course i support his Pokemon collecting hobby, so it's only fair! The only people I was nervous to tell were my parents. I thought they would think I was stupid, but they actually really accepted the hobby and even actively ask questions about it from time to time. The bjd hobby has helped me expand into other arts that I had always had interest in, but never got around to. Good luck to you tho! If they really care about you then they'll accept everything that comes with you!