Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I had this happen to me actually with a doll that is not at all rare, and the person knew I was down on my luck money-wise because she had been PMing me about a wig I was selling. Even though it was just the side comment "he's adorable, if you ever want to sell him let me know" I felt very upset by it. In just the short period of time that I've had my BC Vin I've become extremely attached to him, probably in some ways more so than any other doll I've ever had, so the idea of giving him up really ruffled my feathers. I was however planning on selling my Tan Cookie, so I had let her know about that.

Were the situation to happen again though, and I had no other doll to sell at the time, I would likely ignore the PM/comment completely.

 

For me, personally, I think it is rude and tactless to ask someone to buy their doll if it isn't for sale. Things that ARE OK are:

Asking which model of Doll it is so that they can look for it, or keep an eye out for one.

This is a big one. How hard is it to say "I really love your doll. Can you tell me which company you got them from?" I don't really think that's rude.

Also, not responding, even if to say, "Thank you for your time." is rude. Especially if you are invading someone's personal space. Virtual or not.

 

I don't think Id mind... I mean if someone literally asked me would you sell so n so doll for 'insert price' I wouldn't mind.

The only thing that WOULD bother me- is if I replied telling them I had no intention of selling the doll, and they persisted- days, weeks or months later to get me to sell it to them.

Otherwise I honestly don't think it's rude.

 

I've had this happen a number of times and it is annoying and inconsiderate. Especially when people make offers that are horribly cheap. It made me drop people because they would not stop bothering me. I don't post photos of most of my dolls because I don't want to waste time being bothered by people who don't have enough common courtesy not to send these kinds of pm and comments. Using compliments as part of making an offer reaks of fakeness.

Trust me, when people do it enough, if you think it's okay now, you will change your mind.

 

If they were to say something along the lines of "If you ever decided to get rid of him/her, would you please keep me in mind?" I doubt I would mind very much at all. But, I do think that randomly pm'ing someone for a doll that is not for sale is indeed very rude.

Especially if it's one of those "I love your doll, I'll give you $___ for it!". Something like that really does seem cold, as it kinda seems that those people only see your doll as something pretty that they want and do not think of how much effort you may have put into that doll/your emotional attachment to it that is probably the reason you don't have a WTS thread up.

 

Ugh, before recently, I would have said, "No big deal, you can just say "no!" and leave it at that."

Then I got the message, "How much would you be willing to sell your doll for?"

I think some part of my mind snapped when I read that. I had this mental image of Zarr being owned by someone else...someone who'd strip him of his name and personality entirely. D:

So I think my reply was a little snippier than it should have been.

My answer for this thread is changed -- yes, it's absolutely rude. Extreme example, but for me it feels similar (not as bad, but same idea) to going up to someone and saying, "Hey, your pet is cute! Can I buy it? "

Or of course, "I like your kid, can I adopt it?" --well, not quite.

 

I think it's totally tasteless and rude, but I'd probably say, "I really have no intention to sell this doll, but I'm glad you like it." and it leave it at that.

I'd really only report such a person if there was repeating harassment.

 

I think this is a good point - I do agree that it's not really offensive to ask politely if someone who's not bonding with their doll would consider you if they do end up selling it. I think it's more asking someone who has never mentioned any issues with a particular doll that bothers me -- you don't know whether this person considers dolls "close friends" or merely nice possessions, you don't know whether this is their favorite doll...etc.

 

well... If they express a dislike or lack of bonding for the doll I guess...
But I personally would be upset if anyone asked me to sell one of my resin children X.x
It'd be like my neighbor asking me to sell my dog...just...no

 

I think I will react very badly towards such kind of request. Especially if my doll is a "prize" for a long time saving and waiting for factory production. Marketplaces in bjd forums and online auctions are intended for dolls selling, and if someone ever attempts to write me such PMs, I think they will never get an answer, or maybe a blunt denial if they are annoying *smile*
Anyway, I consider this to be the worst way to start a deal, because the potential buyer doesn't give to the doll owner a good impression. Why should I sell a doll (and maybe, a common mold) to someone unable to wait for a longtime, and maybe trying to get it as a bargain because he/she lives in the same country and could have it easily? Well, I'm just saving and waiting for the next doll to come - and I think I will like it more beacuse that was worth my efforts.

 

Completely agree with the first post.

I can understand the feelings of those who fall madly in love with someone else's doll, but that's no reason for harrasing an owner who does not want to sell him/her. I think there's no problem about expressing your personal admiration through a pm, even if you say something like "think about me in case you have to find a new home for your doll", because I think that would be a compliment more than anything.

 

to my suprise i get alot of PMs about my Helena. i get the "i really love her and what her willing to sell it"

my answer for any of my dolls will always be no. and thats my answer to the PMs i get. or I say if i want to sell her she will be in the marketplace.

ethically i think its wrong, and kinda stupid. if someone doesnt have their doll listed i doubt they will agree to a message out of the blue. although i have been tempted to email people in the past. heh.

 

To me, it's not okay. It's impolite and rude. If you haven't placed a WTS thread in the marketplace I would think it's obvious you're not willing to part with said doll.
However, I don't mind the PM's I get from people wanting to know where I bought a certain outfit or wig.

But I don't think I would report it, unless someone is repeatedly asking me.

 

I was recently asked myself, and honestly, as long as they are polite, I could care less. I told the person that I had no intention of parting with the doll, and that was that. No drama, in fact they were quite nice about it.

I would only report it if I recieved a harrassing or rude pm about it. ^_^

I don't really think it's an ethical issue, just a harrassment one. I get asked about every 3 months or so if I want to sell my car, which I also love. (It's a 1984 Cadillac in surprisingly good condition compared to most of its era.) I tell them no too. :P

~Anrui

 

No, I don't think it's ok to inquire out of the blue. It's rude and it puts the doll owner in an uncomfortable place.

Yes, I'm speaking from experience. I routinely get asked about selling one of my dolls, even though it says on the web page that my dolls are NOT for sale. There have been times when I've thought about taking her pictures and pages off my web site because I'm tired of dealing with it.

Now, if you're having a long conversation with another owner, and they broach the subject like "I have too many dolls, I'm thinking about possibly finding new homes for some of them", they've left you an opening to say "well, if you decide (insert name of favorite doll) would like a new home, please keep me in mind" and let it drop. I see the difference here that the doll's owner opened the subject and the inquirer just followed up.

Marcia.

 

Even if people ask politely, it still has a grasping, desperate quality to it that I find off putting. But if they ask politely, I think they should get a polite response back. Sometimes people don't realize how things can sound.

The whole "I'll give you $x for your doll!" is rude because it implies that the doll doesn't have much value to the owner outside of it's dollar figure. Maybe I find it offensive because it doesn't recognize the owner's sentimental attachment to the doll?

It's really presumptuous stick a dollar amount on something that a person has no intention of selling. Still, I wouldn't be rude back. I prefer to assume that a person is tactless but well intentioned rather than a jerk. It keeps my blood pressure down.

 

I have received offers for my dolls sometime. I usually just give a polite reply, cause if I have not placed the doll in the marketplace there is no way I will sell it... I could understand the love for a specific doll (not a similar doll, that doll or nothing!) but I admint I can't stand the idea to pm someone asking if she/he want to sell her/his doll to me... it looks a bit...rude? Certain kind of dolls does not have any price tag attached and never will for their owner, so the offers may be taken as an offense... or maybe not... who knows?

 

I don't like that idea.
Before I ordered Edgar, I whent to a doll meet with my friend. On the way, my father said "Hey, go ask around if people want to sell there dolls for cheap!" I replied "I can't, no one is bring a doll to sell, and theres no swap meet. It'd be rude" "Oh come on! Find papa a good deal!"

I never found papa a good deal.
:"3
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I don't think it's right to PM someone just outright asking them to sell thier doll for X dollars, however, I do find it fun to quote some outragous price when they do. I was talking to someone the other day about my Twins, and They had asked me how much I had spent on them. After I had told them they promptly turned around and asked how much I'd be willing to sell them for. That caught me quite off guard, so I stopped, thought for a second and answered 10 million dollars. The conversation quite quickly dropped after that.

So while I don't think it ethical, It is a great chance to have some fun if you're willing to be a little bit of a jerk. XD

 

I have to say, for 10 million dollars I'd gladly sell my dolls^^. (and then get the same sculpts back as soon as possible...)