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Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Aug 2, 2007

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    1. My doll hasnt arrived yet.
      But just imagining I already have someone asked for it. I really wouldnt mind. I mean they're only asking. It's not like they're threatening to take your doll away. Imagine just how many dolls there are that that person likes. And out of all of those they PMed you because they liked yours the best. It's actually quite flattering.
      But of course, I'de still turn them down. I love my doll too much. All I'm saying is that theres nothing wrong with asking.
       
      #301 the-sinister, Dec 7, 2007
    2. I think it's alright to PM someone to see if they have the intention some time in the future, but like you said, only if they do it in a polite manner and not being too blunt about it.
       
      #302 StreppyPoo, Dec 7, 2007
    3. I would be like "eh" since if I have no intention of selling my doll, then why ask?

      I know the factor of "maybe" comes in, but you have to put yourself in that position as well (the one receiving the PM).
       
      #303 Elk, Dec 9, 2007
    4. I agree with everyone who has said this before - It's tacky!

      Also it doesn't take into consideration people's emotional attachment to their dolls. It's like asking someone to sell a treasured family photograph or childhood teddybear, and that's just not on.
       
      #304 flower_sceptre, Dec 9, 2007
    5. I wouldn't mind if someone PMed me. I mean, if i ever do sell the doll i'd contact that person as they rightfully have first dibs :)
       
      #305 Hellsing365, Dec 9, 2007
    6. Hmmmm - I don't think I'd mind if someone asked.... after all, it's MY choice to say "no". I guess to be honest, I'm not as emotionally attached as some are, tho it's probably because I haven't 100% been satisfied with the lil ones that I've got now... I'm also not saying that if I ever do say yes, I won't tell that particular person "YES, you will get my doll...." Who knows, by the time I choose to sell/adopt/give up, or how ever else you want to describe it, that person probably doesn't want them any more either... *shrugs*
       
      #306 kisaki_kun, Dec 9, 2007
    7. There's a fine line between unethical and ignorant...

      Turly I can see both sides of this... But I think it all comes down to the intent or tone (if you will) behind the question. If it is an innocent 'Does so and so happen to be for sell" I think it is one thing (While totally agains doa rules ;) ) and another box of pebbles if it is a almost demand 'I want/ need/ have to have/ ect so and so! *drool*'....

      A very touchy subject...
       
      #307 Chaos Aroura, Dec 29, 2007
    8. I think it depends on the tone of the PM - a full-lenght message telling me they love the doll and asking if I'd ever sell it, that's okay. Just one line of "I'll pay you so-and-so-much for that doll" is rude.
      However, it's up to the doll's owner to say yes or no, and if they never hear from the PM'er again, then that't it, and I don't think there's any ethical reason to report the PM'er. If s/he keeps PM'ing, perhaps with higher bids or trying to talk you into selling your doll, I think it nears personal harassment, and then, yes, I'd report him/her...
       
      #308 Siriusly_James, Dec 30, 2007
    9. I have to admit, I never replied to this thread because I never really thought this happened. And then I received a PM. hehe

      It really didn't bother me, and honestly, I was completely flattered. ^_^ Now, I had just recently received this doll and loved her to pieces immediately, and had no intentions what-so-ever of selling her.

      Really, though, the person who did PM me would probably be one of the first people I contact if I do ever decide to sell her.

      I think it really depends on the person receiving the PM and how they decide to react. I don't see any harm in PMing someone to inquire, though. :)
       
      #309 tiarah, Dec 31, 2007
    10. i'd be horified honestly, it's like saying it's nothing more then, well a doll that has no meaning. i'm willing to say (although i may be wrong) that most BJD owners get attached to their babies, so for someone to ask to buy it is unthoughtful. that's just my thoughts though :sweat
       
      #310 elfy016, Dec 31, 2007
    11. Personally I think it's all in the wording. If someone pmed me "Doll A is gorgeous and I know you don't have her up for sell but if you ever do decide to sell her/him. Please let me know!"

      Rather than "Doll A is lovely and perfect for this character I have in mind. I would really like her/him and I wanted to know how much you would be willing to sell her/him for. ITS MY DREAM DOLL!*grabby hands*"

      The second of course would make anyone recoil especially if you're attached to said doll. But that's just me.
       
      #311 V chan, Dec 31, 2007
    12. I wouldn't see it as something bad, I mean, if you were desparate to get your this doll and it was no longer sold, then I don't see the harm, but if you were to continue asking after getting a straight up "no" then you would just have to deal with it.
      Personally, I would be FLATTERED to hear something like that (though I don't have my own BJD yet) but I would not find it offending, but I wouldn't take the pushing either.
       
      #312 Gunter von Christ, Dec 31, 2007
    13. I'd say pretty much the same thing v-chan and many others have said.
      It depends (to me at least) on how the message is worded.
      saying something like 'if you decide to sell, let me know' is flattering.
      saying 'i'll give you $xxxx for your doll here's my paypal address: let me know if this is ok?' is really rude.
      Ever since Toshi appeared with his mods I've been getting messages like these (lol) the first few amused me, but now they're just getting annoying. Happily, no one has replied after I said 'i'm not selling' or 'no' (etc) so I havent had to pursue other options of dealing with the situation.
       
      #313 eleniel, Dec 31, 2007
    14. I would be flattered someone else wanted a doll from me. I think it's tacky if they gave me a price but if they said something along the lines of

      " love your doll please keep me in mind if you ever decide to sell "

      then I'm fine with something along those lines. I'd have no problems saying thank you and then turning them down
       
      #314 bluemuse, Jan 3, 2008
    15. I got an e-mail from someone who was the second highest bidder in the eBay auction I won saying that she hoped I loved my doll but if for whatever reason I struggled to bond with him would I please bear her in mind as she'd love to give him a caring home.
      I actually thought that was really sweet ^_^
      But I agree with everyone else 'omg i wanted ur doll, i'll giv u £x 4 it sell it 2 me pliz i want it so much' is just rude and annoying :lol:
       
      #315 Ehryn, Jan 3, 2008
    16. I agree, that´s beyond rude.

      Especially when only a little later the person that PM´d you this - and that you felt for and finally agreed to sell, to help a fellow BJD lover make their dream come true - turns out to be offering said "dream doll" in the marketplace for considerably more than he paid you, and as a little extra insult he has even "accidentally" gotten multiples... :roll: yeah, right.

      It hasn´t happened to me (fortunately), but to several others, and knowing this, I would now be very wary of any PM asking whether anything of mine is FS because OMGit´stheirdreamwhatever.

      This kind of blatantly taking advantage of the kindness of others makes me :barf
       
      #316 Saiko, Jan 4, 2008
    17. My dream doll is the first one I ever saw in reality and I have asked the lady if she ever decided to sell to give me first refusal, but I'm pretty certain she will never sell. I hope she didn't think I was rude - but I'd be gutted if I saw she'd sold her to someone else and I hadn't asked. However to ask then to sell it on especially at a profit is unforgivable imo
       
      #317 kayjay, Jan 4, 2008
    18. as most people say here, I'd probably be flattered if someone asked me if my doll was for sale, but if the pm was rude, I'd most likely report the person sending pm's to me..
       
      #318 madde-chan, Jan 6, 2008
    19. some persons contact me about my Unoa O because i had winned another, it is not a problem for me ! another contact me for my unoa, and it is not a problem too ! they try, the are a good reason !
       
      #319 aishiteru, Jan 7, 2008
    20. The unfortunate truth is this hobby being simply a microcosm of life, mimics life in the way that some people just know how to act/speak and others are rude, tactless and clueless. I have encountered some of the nicest, highly intelligent and polite people in this hobby, and also been insulted and assaulted by some of the stupidest and rudest. I think we all need to take it with a grain of salt. It doesn't really matter what someone PMs you or asks you at a meetup, unless they are wresting the doll from your hands it is a moot point. The other side of manners is ignoring other's rudeness, a trait that I admittedly need to work on. Which I am.
       
      #320 Stella Maris, Jan 7, 2008
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