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Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Aug 2, 2007

    1. I would like to say that, I probably wouldn't mind. I would just politely decline or just not reply if they were being stupid. I can't really see why someone would pm asking if you would sell your doll, even though you don't have a FS thread though.

      I understand that people are attached to their dolls, but I don't see why anyone would really get super offended by someone asking to buy their doll.

      Though the last time I was in here I did hear someone make the point about someone randomly coming up and asking to buy your dog.

      It is rather inconsiderate, but that's how people are when they see something they want and must have. They don't really care about how attached you may be to your doll, and don't care to find out. All they know is that you have something they want.

      By telling you it's their dream doll, etc. They are hoping to play on your emotions to get you to sell it to them. Whether they are honest or lying.

      Bottom line: I wouldn't get pissed if it happened to me. I would be polite and decline, but if they were impolite in asking me, I'd laugh because I've got something they're not getting.
       
    2. Personally, I think it's rude to just ask someone to sell their doll. I think it's possible to politely inquire, as in, "please let me know if you ever consider selling".
       
    3. If all goes as planned with my next doll purchase, I'll have two of a limited Volks angel, Yugiri. I'm definitely anticipating mails like this, because I'll have 'twins' and 'have to sell one to them to be fair'. I don't think it would offend me, exactly.. I'd just politely say that I worked hard for my boys, and have no interest in selling them. Depending on the wording of the person's mail, I'd probably be feeling any mix of flattery, annoyance, or mild offense.
       
    4. I have a question related to this topic, but it's a diferent subject. I was wondering: would it be alright if I pm a member and asked him if he could please show me more photos of his/her doll? Do you believe this type of pm is out of the question? ...
       
    5. ^ of course, it'll be alright if you pm a member and asked him/her if he/she could show you more photos of his/her doll! :)
       
    6. Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

      Sure of course it is, if anything it's almost flattering to me. This person loves your doll alot almost like a "fan" and is trying to get you to sell him/her. Now, you can always politely decline the offer. Just be careful of people who want to scam you. ^_~

      Would you as an owner report the person, or have your own way of dealing with it?

      Of course not, I wouldn't report, unless they were threatening in any way.
       
    7. If someone PM'd me asking me for one of my dolls I'd be very mad. I don't really see my dolls as "Dolls" anymore I see them as apart of my family so to me it would be like saying "hey! give me your kid!" I'd either ignore the PM or send a one liner that says "Don't do that."

      I put a lot of care and attention into my dolls and I interact with them on a daily basis, so i'd take it as an ignorance of the person not knowing of owner to doll relationships~ Also I'd not trust any of my dolls to that kind of person anyway. I'd be afraid that they would not treat my girls well~

      Each doll I obtain are in one way or another tied to me in an interesting way that furthers my attachment: Caitlin was a gift and my first doll I ever fell in love with~ she's just so cute XD. Furiae appeared in my dreams and helped me before I had even known she existed nor the company she is from. And finally (Asil) was bought off of an owner giving her away, I latched onto that picture very fast and feel that I am up to the challenge of adopting. So I'd say that each of my dolls have been picked due to a great love for them. Each of my dolls are also very unique once dressed and given a face up. Literally they are there own person to me. So how would I view someone PMing me about selling a doll I don't wish to be sold: "Hey nice kid~ ever thought of setting her up for adoption? If so I WANT HER, set her up I want her!"

      My message to them: I don't give a flying cloud what you want they are mine~
       
    8. Doubt I'd be mad unless they were like "HEY, YOU SHOULD SELL ME THIS DOLL WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE HOW MUCH?"

      If it was more of a "Hello, your doll is lovely and I'd love to own him/her, he/she is my dream doll... bla blabla" then they aren't really being rude. Maybe a bit presumptuous, but not rude.

      If they WERE being rude, then I'd be mad. But otherwise, I think it's sort of a compliment :3
       
    9. I'm really two-sided on this...

      In someways, I think it's fine, mostly because you never know what the owner's future intentions will be for the doll. So it's kinda like giving a head's up, a little "Hey if you're ever selling, PM me ;)"

      Also, it could be considered flattering. xD That's probably the way I'd take it.

      But on the other hand, I think it's stupid to just be all "O HAI SELL ME YOUR DOLL THNX". It's rude and assuming, and pushy. :/

      So basically... I think it's okay to ask but don't assume the answer will be yes or be a bully about it.
       
    10. I have yet to get a pm asking about selling a doll that wasn't for sale, but I've been on the other side, so I can kinda relate. One of my friend's has a gorgeous doll that she just got back from getting his faceup done in Germany. When we were at a meetup, I held him for the longest time and simply joked about not giving him back. That is usually flattering to the owner, knowing that someone really loves his look and everything. But to go as far and hounding someone to get them to sell, is just wrong. I've had people pm me simply to ask about my dolls' wigs and just wanted info, but yeah...I would turn down an offer to sell one of my kids in a heartbeat.

      To a lot of us, these dolls are our children if we do not have any already. So to sell one off is to give away one of our babies to a complete stranger for a price. Just feels so wrong, but it is flattering when someone wishes they could have our doll and leaves a nice comment.
       
    11. i've gotten quite a few pm's of this nature.
      Normally I think it's flattering and generally I don't see a problem with letting someone know how much you love their doll. Also if you were considering selling, maybe it would be their lucky day. They are dolls and not children, though I would never sell mine.
      so if it's a "if you ever think to sell him, let me know, I love him" I would let them know, that was unlikely, but thanks anyway.

      What I can't stand:
      I've gotten a few Pms on Kisten, my BH Donn. He was one of the 1st few cast and the only 2nd one sold. It annoys me when people only want a doll because it was limited or special and not because they love it. I don't respond to these types of emails.

      I also don't respond to "will you sell the body" pm's because I am using that body, so the answer is no. You don't love the doll, stop pming everyone who has that body, it's annoying.
       
    12. Basically if it's done with style, I don't have a problem with it. By that I mean someone compliments your dolls & politely asks that if the time should ever come when you need to part with him/her to please keep the asker in mind. Done that way, it's a compliment & can also be helpful if you DO ever need to sell. At least you have someone to start with.

      If done crudely though, it's definitely a no-no. As has been said, many people are very attached to their dolls & it can be insulting to ask them to give up something they love.
       
    13. Wee_Little_Faerie said this...

      I think, when worded properly and if presented in that manner, I wouldn't be offended. I agree that asking to buy dolls that can be found right on the site is kind of... weird. However, limiteds and minimes? Saying that you'd be interested in purchasing should the lucky owner ever want to sell, no pressure... I find that understandable.

      It's all in how you word it, I guess.

      Me personally, though I'm still torn up about missing a GO for a minime, I won't be sending any PMs of any "potential buyer" nature because I just wouldn't want to risk offending someone. If it were me I don't think I'd be offended at a polite pm like quoted, though I'd think a pricetag or a repeated offer would be incredibly rude (and I think we're on a general consensus about the begging thing!). BUT - I understand that there are a lot of people who would be shaken by the thought, and I can respect that.
       
    14. This happened to me not so long ago first I got tons of mails asking me to sell dolls i never even considered selling, which was kinda off.
      Second time I found it extremely rude. Since the doll hadn't even arrived yet! >__<
       
    15. Reading through this list, I have to agree with Taco's post. I'd feel like I was part of the old joke, "We already know what you are, we're just haggling over the price." :|
       
    16. While I've never run into this issue, I don't really think it's appropriate to ask a person about selling their doll if they've never expressed any interest in doing so, for two reasons. Also, I'm assuming that the people are just straight out asking you to sell here, I think that saying something along the lines of "If you ever want to sell him/her, I would love it if you would keep me in mind" is alright and probably flattering, although I probably would avoid saying it.

      Firstly, I don't really think it's appropriate to ask someone to sell anything that they haven't mentioned selling, I don't really have any logic to back that up, other than the fact that it's always been a personal pet peeve of mine. Especially if they're using it often.

      Secondly, (is that even a word?) it's a fairly commonly known fact that within the bjd community, many people attach much more feeling and meaning to their dolls than they would most material goods. So it doesn't seem logical to me to ask someone to sell a limited doll, knowing that there's a good chance that they think of that doll as far more than just a physical object, and probably think of it as a friend or something like a child.

      I really hope that made sense, if it didn't I'm really sorry. :) My head is just kind of up in the clouds today.
       
    17. here on DOA we have a perfect way to ask about dolls we want in the marketplace- a WTB post. i did this with a doll i wanted, and within a day or two i was contacted and within a week i had my lovely new doll:dance would i just ask someone i know who has a doll i wanted to sell it? no, i wouldnt. would i be offended if someone asked me? not really unless they got pushy or kept asking. of course i have no problem telling someone no, but i know some people do.
       
    18. Hmm, well, once someone randomly messaged me about buying a lolita jacket that I had just purchased, which was a little odd, because I had JUST bought it, so I don't know why I would sell it. (I never sell anyway, because I rarely buy anything, so I have to really want it first.) But maybe the lolita community makes more random splurge purchases, so it's a bit different? I don't know, but it didn't really offend me or anything. She was very polite about it. Maybe if I got a lot of messages like that though, it would be bothersome. I just told her I would message her if I ever decided I wanted to sell. (And I still have her e-mail, just in case it ever happens.)

      Then again, clothes are different than dolls. I think it would bother me a lot more if someone wanted my doll, but sometimes people are so desperate, they'll go out on a limb like that. I don't like it, but I try to be understanding.
       
    19. It's in no way shape or form appropriate to ask someone to buy something they didn't have up for sale.

      If you ran up to someone in the street wearing a shirt you liked would you offer to buy it off of them? Of course not.

      Why would you offer to buy a doll if someone wasn't selling. To many people on these forums thats like asking to sell a child to them.

      It's rude. Ridiculously rude.

      ~Love
       
    20. Its perfectly fine saying the doll is fantastic and stuff like "Please PM me if you're ever going to sell him/her" but i find directly asking with a price in mind a little offending. Like, i didnt even say i'll sell it to you, why offer me? ._.