Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

No, its just being plain rude.

 

How hard is it to ignore a PM? Have you been to the marketplace?

 

I'm very surprised by how intense the feelings are in this topic. Actually, I would be flattered if someone offered to buy one of my dolls after seeing a photo I posted. It hasn't happened so I can't speak from experience.

I'm glad this topic came up though. I've considered PMing people to tell them that I love their doll and asking them to keep me in mind if they ever decide they want to sell. I've never done it and probably wouldn't do it now that I know how much it would upset some people. I never would have guessed...

 

Before the rule, I would get Pms and it was a bit daunting. I mean, it is at first rather a nice complement depending on how it is stated and all. But I've been around for many years on DoA and I've had people present some pretty insulting things to me. Sure, if it was maybe one Pm, it's easy to ignore. But it wasn't 1 but I was getting them monthly at one point.

It's one thing when people are polite, but many aren't. When you tell them no thanks, not interested, some people got mad/insulted. And it wasn't like I was being insulting like "you aren't good enough" but I was like, "I'm sorry but he's not for sale." I used to have someone that would contact me every few months on another of my dolls as a follow up to see if I changed my mind. At the third time she asked me about him, I told her to please never contact me again as I would never consider selling him.

Then I would get the "I am willing to pay X" and I would go, "no really, not interested in selling." And they would up the price as if I was turning them down because of the price. And then I would have to get into a discussion with them about how, no... it has nothing to do with price, it's just I don't want to let my favorite doll go at any price. And have to deal with insults (sometimes) about "my loss" and how "stupid am I" for losing out on such a great deal. Oh yes, that's happened to me.

See, when you tell people it's ok to do it, the crazy/obnoxious people ruin it for the polite/sane people I think. It's like a flood gate of people that would just start bugging people until they get what they want, which seems ridiculous. So, who would want to come to DOA to be harassed? I guess this is taking it to the other extreme, but well... it is annoying.

I'm glad about that rule. Thank you DOA mods. Seriously.

 

I would be flattered. I don't understand why it is offensive unless the person is rude about it. Yes, they are sentimental to people, but the sheer number of for sale posts in the Marketplace shows that we sell our dolls very often regardless, so its not like there is something strange about wanting to sell/buy a doll.

If someone PMed me saying, "I love your Godo. Would you be interested in an offer of $xxx?" I'd think it a tad strange, but I wouldn't be offended at all. If they said they loved my doll and if I ever had to let him go, to keep them in mind, I would be very flattered and I would indeed keep them in mind in case that time ever came, either out of financial necessity or otherwise.

I'm glad there is a rule, though, as rampant PMs like this could get a little out of hand, especially for the people who have popular dolls they post here often.

 

It would be flattering, but I think it would be a bit rude as well.
My family once received a letter in the mail in which the sender asked to buy our house (which wasn't up for sale), it just seemed like a real guts-y thing to do. The letter was sent to the circular filing cabinet (the trash bin) without a reply. I know this is on a different scale, but it's the same principle.

If you fancy someone else's doll, try to reproduce the look, but also improve upon it yourself. I would rather have a doll that was unique to me and not someone else's imaginative work.

Kirsten

 

I guess it would all depend on the person and the way it was asked... I, personally, while being flattered would also be a little peeved (I wouldn't show it to them, though) about it, just because there's two easy ways to see if someone has a doll for sale: look at the sig for an FS link, or find threads started by them to see if they're selling. Otherwise, I dunno, just buy the same mold and make it your own.

 

It's rude. I'm afraid to even pm people to ask what company their doll's eyes or wig came from. I know it's probably ok, and they probably wouldn't mind, but I don't want to be rude or seem like a pest. I definately wouldn't pm some one and ask them to sell their doll to me, unless of course it was listed on the marketplace for sale.

 

I wouldn't mind if someone wrote something admiring about one of my dolls or said something like, "If you ever think of selling him, let me know.." Or if I had modified the doll, ask who had done it..

But to just waive a wad a cash and expect me to say, "Oh, gosh! He's YOURS.."

Unless I was posting the photos on Marketplace, I'd be tempted to just delete that message, and if the person made a pest of himself/herself, I'd block the PMs..

 

Let me put it to you this way. If a person didn't post it in the DoA Marketplace, eBay, Yahoo! Japan, etc., it's usually because he/ she is perfectly happy with the doll in his/ her possession. To PM someone about whether they are willing to sell their doll is just plain rude to me.

I think the only time you should PM someone about selling their doll is if you had seen it up for sale somewhere, and you are unclear as to whether the owner sold it or not. I'm sure he/ she wouldn't mind replying to you with a simple yes or no.

 

I couldn't see myself ever PMing someone about a doll they don't have for sale, although I wouldn't really mind if it happened to me; unless of course they were forceful about it. Depending on wording I might find it flattering or rude, but in either case I'd probably just brush it off.

 

i dont think i would mind , unless they were really annoying and kept bothering me to sell them. i guess i would be flatterd.

 

It's all in how it is asked. If someone flips open a checkbook and asks "how much" in a rude way (as has happened to someone else here, as I recall), then blasphemy!!!!! But if it is asked kindly and sincerely, then I would seriously consider it. My reaction would be, "wow, they must really want to love my doll". That is quite a sweet thing, really.^^

 

It seems pretty aggressive and intrusive to me to offer to buy something that's not being offered for sale. If someone wants to sell something, there are many avenues open to them to do so. I think it's great that the forum has a rule against this kind of behavior.

 

I have purchased dolls this way. An offer does not mean you have to sell a doll. It is a compliment.

 

I think I would get ticked off if someone asked me that not to mention that it's quite rude. Though if it was one of the "I love your doll and if you ever want to sell it....." I might..... might tell the person first if I was going to sell it.... but if it's just "I will buy ___ for ___" then I would not contact the person if I ever was selling it.

Asking to buy something that is not for sale might work if you are in a store in person, but over a PM on a forum is not right at all.

 

Why do you say that? I dont think it is rude to pm someone and tell them that their dolls are so lovely you would buy them if there was a a price to them. What's the harm really? Some people may take you up on that.

 

Rather like Mikal said, if someone said they were lovely and would buy them IF they were ever up for sale that's a compliment, and is very different than them saying they want to buy a doll that you love and had no intention of selling. Maybe some people would, IF they were already considering selling the doll. However, I've had people PM me about buying my doll, and I can honestly say I felt VERY uncomfortable. I love my dolls, I do not intend to sell them, AND it's against DoA's rules. I can understand wanting a particular doll, but then check the Marketplace. Some people might take the offer, but most won't.

Edit: Look at Mercy's post. Would you consider THAT a compliment? I understand you not seeing the problem with it, but there are people out there who are rude and clearly don't respect the fact that owners love their dolls. It's all in the way it's said.

 

Gus251, I think it's safe to say that the exact type of reaction such an inquery might receive is at least partially dependent on how the pm was written. However, I think it's also important to realize that not everything has a price tag. When people randomly ask to buy things--in a sense, yes it can be flattering because they like your doll--however, it can also be rather presumptuous. It ignores the fact that many people have a great deal of emotional investment in these dolls, and for a lot of hobbyists they aren't trivial items to be bought and sold without a second thought.

On top of that, DoA has a very nice marketplace so people who are looking to buy/sell have an outlet to do that. It's one thing if someone mentions in a thread somewhere that they might be considering selling (or something along those lines) and following up with a pm, but it's another to pm someone out of the blue with an offer.

Yes, it's possible just to ignore pms or write back a simple refusal, but I think there's the principle of the whole thing that should be considered (and the fact that it clearly makes a lot of folks uncomfortable) and for people who have popular/unusual dolls that could end up with a lot of inquiries, I can see where it could get very old after awhile.

 

I haven't felt uncomfortable at all. I believe it is okay to accept or ignore an offer. The emotional investment is further reinforced in a friendly "no." Have you sold in the marketplace? You get all sorts of offers. Are you sure it is illegal to make an offer here on DoA? Hmmmm.....