Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Totally agree Taco!

 

But what they're discussing isn't the marketplace. If something is up in the marketplace then the owner obviously is wanting to sell the doll--of course prospective buyers should pm them about it, that's the idea. The issue is unsolicited offers which are completely different things since often times the person isn't looking to sell. If I wanted to sell any of my dolls, the first thing I'd do was put them up in the market place--maybe put a link to the sale thread in my signature. If my dolls are not up in the marketplace, then they are not for sale.

What a lot of people here are saying is that they are not comfortable with/do not want unsolicited offers being made on their dolls. I personally don't like the idea that everything has a price tag, I find it irritating. Some people really opperate on that assumption, and it's not something I (and I'm clearly not alone on this) want to deal with. If people want to buy and sell, then they need to stick to the marketplace. Folks shouldn't be having to refuse people or avoid pms, because they shouldn't be getting offers like that in the first place.

By the way, it's been made pretty clear that unsolicited WTB pms are not allowed on DoA.

 

if i got a ton of pms id be a little irritated

but if i got a few of people saying "i love your doll i know its not for sale but would you consider selling it to me?"

id probably say
"no sorry this doll is to close to my heart to sell'

and i would take it as a complement that someone like my doll so much they got enough guts to ask if id sell it

 

It's not okay. I've jokingly asked people to sell me their dolls, but I would never mean it. If they're not willing to sell it, they're not willing. Point blank. And though I recommend reporting said person, I would probably handle things my own way first. *cough*liketellingthemto****offandgoto****beforerepotingthem*coughcough*

 

lol you would tell the to do that and go there just cuz they wanted your doll??

 

Have you read my post? I meant the marketplace is full of "iffy" buyers ad sellers.

And if they are not for sale, can you ignore a pm with an offer? You can't? Would that ruin your day? Is that rude, to the extend that you would resent the hobby?

 

er... Anyone can ignore a PM. People CAN choose NOT to, if they're bothered by it. But I'm not sure anyone here would resent the hobby for a couple of PM's from someone you will never see in their life.

I, personally, agree with everyone who says compliment and asking to be their auntie/uncle is okay, but Internet grabby hands and price tagging a doll someone has no intention to sell would be rude.

 

i personaly thnk people are getting a little too wound up on the subject

it all pretty much depends on the persons appinion but i feel if someone asks to buy your doll a simple "no sorry not for sale" will do fine or even ignoring it if thats what you choose

but i would look at it as a compliment and as long as they didnt keep asking it wouldnt bother me

 

Wow. I wouldn't even consider PMing someone to ask if they would be interested in selling their doll, especially if it's one that they are obviously very invested in, emotionally and otherwise. I can see how that would have the feel of a compliment, but I don't know... It would be similar to someone asking me if I'd give up something of sentimental value, an heirloom or something like...my car (because I'm a dork like that) or my favorite guitar (which I would never consider selling).

My personal opinion is that I wouldn't find it okay. But as others have mentioned, you can always decline or ignore them. My feeling is I wouldn't want to deal with the extra, unnecessary annoyance.

 

I read your post, but you weren't clear when you brought the marketplace into things, besides this has nothing to do with iffy sellers on the marketplace either.

If people are saying they don't want offers made, that it makes them uncomfortable, then why insisit that they be ok with it? One or two offers wouldn't wreck my day provided they were politely worded, but it's not the kind of thing I'd want to get or deal with particularly. Some people back in the thread said they would get quite a few and some of them pushy. DoA is not meant to be one giant dolly sale site. The mods set aside a specific area for that, so why not stick with it rather than pming people out of the blue? Some people won't care if you make an offer like that, but some will...I mean, if you think about it, you're asking them to sell something that isn't for sale (most of the time). Would you go over to someone's house and randomly ask if various things were for sale? Wouldn't that seem odd/rude? Why should dolls be any different? Why potentially make a lot of people uncomfortable when you can look at all the sale adds already up?

When I was younger I knew someone who used to ask if they could buy (or just plain have)various things of mine...it didn't feel like a compliment, it felt darn uncomfortable. Just because it doesn't bother you, doesn't mean that other people feel the same way. That should be respected. If you really want to send someone a compliment, then send them a pm saying how lovely you think their doll is (who doesn't like pms like that?) but leave the requests to buy out of it.

 

I've had PM's to buy my black pukisha. It was kinda upsetting because the person who wrote it implied that she would be able to give it a better home because I 'didn't like pukis'.

I had said in the puki thread that I found they were too small and that I would not buy anymore, however I clearly stated that I would love and keep my pukisha because she was a gift from my fiance. So to get a pm implying that I did not love the doll and it would be better owned by someone else was a little upsetting.

 

Gus251: See, the problem here isnt that its just a friendly offer all the time. You have to realize that sometimes text cannot put accross what you are trying to say exactly, and someone who is very close and protective of their doll may take a calm "If you're ever looking to sell your ____, i'd be willing to pay ___ for him~" might be taken as someone trying to put a dollar value on a child. thats just not cool. I believe someone else mentioned earlier in this thread that since a lot of owners see their dolls as extensions of themselves or living things, it'd be much like coming up to someone walking their dog or carrying their daughter and asking them if they'd be willing to sell their dog or child. or even more amusing, rather like "Heeey~....can i buy your kidney? I mean, you really don't need both of them, right? " >>;;


Its just a simple fact that if someone wants to sell their doll, they can do so, and can do so in the marketplace. If someone is looking to buy a particular doll, they can do so. In the marketplace. I would be very upset if i got offers for any of my dolls for various reason, and i believe i've posted in here before but i'll reiterate a bit. If someone sent me a kind "I think Piper's beautiful, if you're ever looking to sell her please keep me in mind ", i might be flattered that she thinks my girl's pretty. However, i could also very easily reply with "Thanks so much, but I'm very much in love with her and don't intend to sell her ever. She's default from Luts, though, so if you were still interested you could buy her straight from there. =D" I know its a bit different with limiteds and such,but in that case it'd be more like "Thank you, but I don't think i could ever bring myself to sell her, i love her too much ^^ I suggest you keep an eye out in the marketplace, though, or post a WTB if you're really that interested. Awesome stuff pops up there all the time =D" Sure, thats nice enough. But what if the pms continue? Or get hostile? That very thought makes me uncomfortable.The major issue here is that pms like these get hostile, as Mercy and others have said. I've no personal experience with these, but i certainly believe it happens.

The other problem is the seed of doubt this behaviour induces. if someone offers up an amount for your doll, and yous tart wondering "hmm, is that a good price for her? Would iactually sell her for that much? Am i actually the right home for her? Am i giving her enough attention? Maybe this person would take better care of her..." it starts to make you wonder if your good enough,. especially if someone insinuates that you arent.

 

Well... I guess if someone sends me a PM like that, I'd just turn him down nicely. After all, it's kind of flattering to know that he likes my doll so much that he asked me to sell it to him.

But in any case, I wouldn't think that it'd be a wise thing to do since if the owner wanted to sell his doll, he could have said so himself. We shouldn't get ahead of him.

 

Yup.. nothing's wrong with that for me... ^^
It depends upon the person who's being offered.
Would you ruin your day for just a simple message saying they like your doll and they want to buy it because of what you did to it?
And besides, it's not like you receive one everyday right.
Let's try practice being cool and happy all the time.
Let's not always take things against us or negative. ^^

 

If a person sent a well thought PM and already had the funds on hand, I don't see anything wrong with it. A message like that is easy to ignore or replied with a simple "No thanks". Who knows, if it were a doll who I had a hard time bonding with I'd say, "I need some time to think about it". There have been a few times where I would have highly considered it. Obviously though, nobody should get their hopes up.

EDIT: Whoops! I didn't finish my post.

As far as reporting the person goes, it would depend on the person sending the PM. If they were nice about it, or new, I would simply remind them that it is against DOA's rules. However, if they sent a message like, "can I buy your doll for $200 and will you put it on layaway for 8 months?" and they had a history of doing that, then I probably would report them.

 

hmm im pretty torn when it comes down to that... for me personally, Id be flattered. Id smile it off and say thanks so much, but shes/hes well loved here. But thats me, Im not sure how others would feel.

I HAVE sent people pm's saying that they have beautiful dolls, but its never gone further than that extent.

 

Hmm. Try reading back a few pages, there were people with limiteds who got unsolicited PMs regularly and one user had a chequebook flipped open for her dolly in a cafe!!

Personally, I would be flattered if I got a PM saying "I love your Soulkid Snyder, she's beautiful, keep me in mind if you ever want to sell her." It's worded in a polite manner and all I would have to do is say a polite "No, she's not for sale, but thank you. I think she's beautiful too."

There's no hard feelings and everyone goes away knowing where they stand. It's the people who persist and are not always polite with their PMs that people can't stand. I would never even consider selling my dolls to someone who thought they could give them a better home than me! I would hate the insinuation that I'm a bad dolly owner and that someone else could love my dolls more than I do.

PMing someone doesn't have to be impolite, but if you are doing it just because you like the look of a certain doll, just go on the Marketplace and add a WTB thread! Then someone can come to you with their doll and you don't have to run the risk of offending someone just because you really want a doll like theirs. Is admiring a doll so much really worth breaking the rules and risking offending someone?

 

I wouldn't be flattered at all if someone PMed me wanting to buy one of my dolls. I'd be flattered if, say, someone PMed me and said they liked my <insert sculpt here> so much they went and bought one of their own, but asking me to sell them something I clearly don't plan to sell is just rude, IMO.

The ONLY time I'd make an exception is if I'd mentioned in a thread that I was considering selling a doll. But in general, if I'm interested in selling a doll I list it for sale. If someone PMs me asking me to sell them something I'm not selling I'd probably be a bit snappish in response.

 

You are exaggerating here. There is a difference between a friendly email offer, offering to buy someone's kidney and actually harassing a person in a cafe with a checkbook. The thread says, "is it okay to pm..."
Yes, it is okay in my opinion and I wouldn't be offended at all. How hard is it for you to ignore an email?

 

I find it very rude to offer a price for anything that someone owns(that isn't openly for sale), especially if they haven't giving any indication they're trying to get rid of it. I feel it's just bad manners and improper social etiquette, no matter what. Yes it can be flattering that someone likes what you have enough to want to own it themselves, but that's why you ask where someone got it and other specifics, not just say 'can I have yours?'. Yes the chances are most people won't be offended, or if you happen to ask about something they do want to get rid of then it's 'fine', but until they first give you an indication you can make an offer on it you shouldn't ask.

And saying 'it's just an email, ignore it!' is easy to say, but I've had messages before that prey on my mind for days after, so it's not as easy as that for everyone.