Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I don't want to sound rude, but when someone asks you "keep me in mind if you ever want to sell her" it doesn't mean, "are you selling your doll?", so then, why would you reply "she's not for sale", when IMO it would be more logical to just reply something like "I'll pm you if one day I decide to sell my doll" ?

 

It wouldn't actually occur to me to PM an owner about a doll that I hadn't seen in a 'for sale' thread, but then I don't PM folks just to say 'Hi, pretty doll' either. It's just not how I do things.

As for receiving a PM, it would depend on how it was worded and the general attitude.

'I love your doll, if you ever think of selling please keep me in mind' is fine by me. It's polite, respectful and doesn't assume I will actually sell her. I probably would save the PM and reply if I did want to re-home the doll concerned.

'I love your doll, I'll give you $$$$ for it right away' Wouldn't cause me offence, I'd probably reply with a polite 'no thank you' and leave it at that. I bear in mind that some of us see our dolls as family whilst some of us see our dolls as chunks of resin, emotional attachment varies. If they tried to push the matter then yes, I'd get pretty annoyed.

'I want your dolly and I'll give it a better home than you can, I'll give you $$$ for it, sell it to me now' Is a one way ticket to my blocked list. I won't do you the courtesy of replying if you insult me during the initial contact.

But then, I'm quite laid back/thick skinned about a lot of things. I don't expect other people to feel the same way, hence why I wouldn't PM someone about a doll that wasn't in a sales thread in the first place.

 

I agree with temporallelement 100%. I wouldn't do it myself, because I don't care enough for any doll to the extend of actually sending a stranger a pm with an offer. Unlike others here, I am not that sensitive. Life has taught me to forget about things that are upsetting. ~Gus

 

hmm

the only time i would ever be upset by someone wanting to buy my doll is if they wouldnt stop asking to buy it they asked rudly or they said they could take better care of it or something like that


and i think this dicussion is getting out of hand, its an oppinionated thing, not something to fight over, everyone is allowed to have their own oppinion agree to disagree

other than that i dont understand why anyone could get so upset over this

i can see why people might not like it, but its no reason to get extremely upset, ignore the om or say no thank problem solved!

 

Well, it is a debate thread and it wouldn't be much of a debate without some disagreement People give their views, and some will agree and others won't and will pick apart the argument they don't like and it'll go back and forth like that--that's the way it works. As long as things don't get personal, which it really hasn't, I don't see where there's a problem. That's why threads like this aren't in the general section of the forum.

 

yeah it is a debate and i know what a debate is but it seems to me like peoples feelings are getting hurt

like i was saying agree to disagree, meaning im fine with everyone having an opinion but i do think some people are on the edge of getting personal, they seem to be getting more and more deffensive and offensive

although i think i may be the only one who see's this

 

Personally if someone was to pm me about my bjds in the hope that i would sell my bjds to them. I would take the experience as a complement and a form of flattery that someone admires my bjds so much that they want to buy them. I would also thank them for their interest in my bjds and at the same time i would firmly but kindly tell them that my dolls are not for sale and i have no such intention of selling my bjds. Like i mentioned in similar words in a another thread, be the better person, Instead of getting angry with the person who has pm'ed you about your doll, just see it as the persons way of showing their admiration for your doll. Being humble in situation like this is always better and will result in you having more self-respect as a person, not to mention that you'll feel better for it. Life is way too important and short to sweat the small stuff. Worry about the important things, get angry over the things that count. Like the fact that we have yet to find a cure for many different forms of incurable cancer. (Off-topic i know, but i just wanted to use an example.) Anyway this is just my opinion, just thought i'd offer my perspective.

 

i agree with you

 

... hmm. I actually have had people PM me (and hit me on AIM) about selling one of my dolls- I basically just ignored it with a polite "I have no intention of selling him, sorry." Anyone who pushed farther than that got blocked. I just refused to talk to them or acknowledge their existence if they wouldn't take my 'no' for an answer and started pestering me over and over again.

I do think it's a little rude- it'd be like going up to someone on the street and asking to buy the shirt off their back. Except they probably aren't as emotionally attached to their shirt as I am to my doll.

 

I have 2 dolls i enhanced, not bjds, i shared them on my other forum, many people loved them and i got no end of pms asking if ever i was to sell one please let them know first, in the beginning i was flattered that people liked them enough to want them, but after a while it gets tedious, i have had both dolls for over a year they are in my signature pic, and even now i get the same pms usually from newbies and it gets very boring!

 

My cousin actually tried to negotiate my Bobobie Sprite from me on Sunday, but I compromised by telling her that I would give her the links to the website so she could get one herself. I did have a couple people at Disneyworld ask me which store (at Disney) I had gotten her at. When I told them I had ordered her from DoA, they asked how much she was, and when I told them, they seemed to lose interest in trying to get her from me.

I'm just glad I didn't have her with me when I was near this girl that kept doing grabby-hands at my Disney pin collection....she wanted my pins, my hat, my lightsaber, my earrings (honest!), my camera, etc. Can't imagine how much whining would have happened if she saw either of my girls.

 

I'd also say that its kind of random, and a bit tacky, to PM someone about buying their doll when they never gave any indication that they were selling it. I would think it was weird if someone did that to me, but I personally wouldn't be bothered at all, so long as they were polite. And IMHO the reaction sort of depends on the type of doll being inquired about. For example, if someone asked to buy my FCS girl, I would be somewhat amused/flattered because that doll type is readily available to order and that would show that the person liked my girl in particular. But an offer for my (non-customized) Kurumi would be more irksome, because she is just rare, not unique.

On the other hand, if someone made a gallery post and spends a paragraph talking about how they really didn't think their doll was going to work out for them then that would be different. I actually did that once and wound up selling the doll to the person that had PM'd me!

Though I am currently on the hunt for a certain elusive LE, and everyone's dolls of that type are so tempting to me, I wouldn't dream of going around PM'ing owners asking to buy theirs. It strikes me as somewhat rude and pushy.

 

I have a concern that has been with me for a while. For months I have been saving up for an elfdoll Emma. Now that I have her, I have no intention of selling her but at the same time I am not really bonding with her as much as I have with my first BJD (AOD Rao). Is this normal?

 

Seahawks71: Are you certain you posted this question in the correct thread? Yes, it is common not to bond to all of your dolls equally.

Back to topic: Yes, it can be tacky if the email reads "I offer XXX for your XXX doll, and I will give him/her more love." I feel that's pretty rude. However, if it is properly written, it could be flattering. It wouldn't bother me either way.

 

I think it's fine if maybe the person is just asking, because it never hurts to ask, but I once had a message from someone that went something like 'I LOVE your kitty Lea, please may I ask how much you would take for her, I want one!' and that just.. irritated me D= It seems so, 'want want want'.

 

It's perfectly normal. May take you a year or more to properly bond.


Personally, if someone pm'd me out of the blue wanting to buy my doll I would find it horribly rude. I wouldn't hesitate to report them.


However, if someone pm'd me asking: "How did you do such-and-such? Can you give me some pointers? Where can I get a doll like yours?" I would find it highly flattering that someone liked my doll/clothes enough to ask for tips or info.

I once pm'd someone asking if their avatar was a doll or a photoshopped pic. I think that kind of stuff is fine as long as you don't come off as creepy/stalkerish.

 

I'm one of the owners who have no intention of ever selling my dolls (I'm a packrat, so I accumulate things and I never get rid of anything.) My dolls are not for sale, not now, not ever. It's more logical to me to be upfront about the situation, than give someone a little glimmer of false (and pointless) hope.

If someone says "keep me in mind," they are hoping that you will sell your doll, otherwise why would they bother sending the PM in the first place? I doubt anyone would be hanging on a decade down the line, hoping and praying my particular doll might go up for sale and I'd give them first dibs, so sending a PM asking to be remembered if I ever fall out of love with my doll, implies that somehow this transformation will take place in the fairly recent future.

 

Yeah, if someone sent me a PM, especially after I've stated I am not interested in selling my dolls (they're like my daughters!) EVER, and they still PM me, not only would I be offended, I'd think they were the dumbest person in the world. If someone wanted me to "keep them in mind", it meant that they didn't believe I was serious, or that they've heard that from so many others, who caved in and sold. But I think it says A LOT about that person's character since they didn't respect your decison to keep your dolls, as if it had no meaning. If you ever did want selling your doll, and you got a PM from that person again asking, send them one back that says "I'm not selling you this doll on the basis that you did not respect me as a doll owner.", and that's that.

 

I would find that mostly offending, if someone tried to ask me...

 

I wouldn't mind someone complimenting the doll and asking if I ever decided to sell it, to keep them in mind. I would, however, be put off with a 'I like your doll a lot, how much would you sell her for?'.