Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Keeping in mind I don't have dollie photos on DoA yet (hope to remedy this soon), I wouldn't be particularly offended if someone asked me that question in a PM. I'm pretty laid back as it is, and although I love my dolls, I don't angst over them.

 

Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell? No, it isn't. I think it's rude, since they've not said that they were even thinking about it. Even if it's said more like:"if you ever decide to sell this doll.." and it could be taken as a compliment, I think it's still not something one should do.

Would you as an owner report the person, or have your own way of dealing with it?
Well, I don't this ever happening to me(my dolls are very ordinary) but I think I would politly say no.

 

It's just not cool. If the person gives a price, to me, it's instant report. If they're all like 'If the doll ever needs another home' Then I'll probably just send them a reply of the doll not going anywhere. If it's just a compliment, I probably wouldn't get offended.

 

I've already gotten a few PMs about my Sard. While I appreciate that people are crazy for the sculpt, for pity's sake, I only just got the poor boy! A completely unsolicited message from a stranger is unlikely (to say the least!) to make me reconsider keeping a doll I paid a great deal of money for and waited 3 long, nervewracking months to receive. In the highly unlikely event I was going to sell a doll, I'd be posting in the Marketplace, not the Gallery, kthanx. I'm actually kind of regretting ever posting his pictures because of the "sell him to me!" PMs; they feel just a tiny bit stalkerish. I really pity anyone with a Bermann or Yukinojo!

 

I find the reaction to the offer interesting, maybe because I'm not that emotionally invested. To me they are dolls.
I didn't know about that rule. Personaly I would not make such an offer, b/c the owner might get hundreds of these and getting mine would just be one of the "irritated horde" to the owner. It would be rude; it don't see how it could be "wrong" (forgetting the DOA rules for a second).
I have (hope this wasn't a rule breaker) PM'd someone stating that I like their doll "X" and was curous about the mold. I would try to research it first on DOA... most of us have our doll information somewhere listed. The mold might be one that I would purchase in the future (from the company), the mold not the owners doll. Or if they did the face up, and that's what intrigued me, if they offered face-up services.
In fact the other day, I PM'd someone about the skin tone of their doll... I've been looking at that company and I was undecided about the exact mold/color combo in a particular line. The owner had also switched genders, which was also something I was thinking about.
This type of inquiry is what makes any hobby/interest work. People helping people, just as long as we are not rude.
My two cents worth.

 

Interesting debate here. I think that it can be a little bit wierd to have someone out of the blue ask you that question. Especially as many doll owners consider thier dolls to be "thier children" so people wouldnt be as likely to ask a complete stranger on the street if they wanted to sell thier son/daughter, would they?

I find this a little bit more tactless than anything else though really. If someone must ask then doing a little research into the owner can show the extent of a relationship of a person and thier dolls, so if someone seems very devoted a simple, i love your doll and would love to buy one liek that some day, would suffice rather than blurting out...

OMG I WANTZ YOUR DOLLZ!!!! (lol)

However if i had done a lot of custom work to a doll and someone asked to buy it from me then i would probably take it as an immense complement that my work had been recognised by another doll lover ^_^

Great debate all

 

How incredibly rude of them! I hope they read this thread and are ashamed of themselves!

Please don't be discouraged about posting his pix, it is a gorgeous mold.

 

I'd find it really rude. Sure, its a tad flattering, especially if they word it to be "kept in mind" but really, if I ever wanted to sell Aquamarine (HA FAT CHANCE), I would go looking for WTB threads first, look at those people's feedback, etc, because they were patient and followed the rules of the forum. I don't care how polite you word it, a PM to buy my doll when I am obviously not interested in selling is rude and even a bit condescending honestly. And to assume that I will "keep you in mind" is even more ridiculous. 70% chance I report that person, but even if I don't report you, the only thing I'll keep in mind on the off chance that I do sell said doll later on, is that you broke protocol/etiquette of the buy/sell dynamic on this forum, and that seems selfish and "grabby" to me, and I won't want to sell my doll to you.

 

Amen sister. I got a PM about my Sard too. Now if I were wanting to sell him, wouldn't I go to the Marketplace and find the first person in line who put up a WTB thread? I think I would be angry if I were someone who put up a thread saying I wanted to buy a doll, only to find out that someone else got to buy this doll because they annoyed someone by messaging them. While I am not outrightly offended by the fact that this happened, I don't think it's really called for. I think of it like the person is trying to cut in line almost.

 

You know... earlier in the thread I said I would be flattered, depending on how the question was phrased. It's funny sometimes how you think you'll react to something, and how you react when it happens. I just got a PM stating that "If you are disappointed with Beryl when she comes, I can buy her."

First of all, I don't even HAVE the doll yet... she's still "Before Shipping". So it felt very impersonal... if someone were offering to give a home to one of my completed dolls, it would be kind of like a compliment to all the work I put into said doll. But this one isn't even finished, or at my home for that matter.

I'll admit, I was kind of taken aback and surprised. I didn't report the member, but I did reply "Thank you, but if I ever do decide to sell a doll, I'll post a FS thread in the marketplace". Once it actually happened to me, I do agree that it seems a bit rude. Especially with the way it was phrased. >_<

 

Geez, that's even worse than what happened to me! I agree that that is rude, and I probably would have been outrightly offended by that. I mean come on, you haven't even gotten the chance to see if you like her or not yet!

I've heard about this happening too. While I don't pay attention to who does it, I know that there are people who definitely go through dolls quickly, and I've heard there have been situations where one would wonder if the person didn't post so many galleries and say so many great things about their doll just to get a higher price tag on it when they sold it (please note that I do not have anything against people who sell lots of dolls, nor am I saying that everyone does it just to make money).

With all that said, I still don't think it's appropriate to send someone a PM about selling a doll. I feel that people should have to post a WTB thread just like everyone else. But you have a point, I can see where some people would get the idea.

 

I actually have one little cutie that I got as a result of just such an about-face.

But I have to laugh at the "If you're disappointed in Beryl, I can buy her." My reaction to that line was, "No you can't, because I won't sell her to you!"

It probably would have come across better, I'm guessing, if it had been phrased differently... maybe "if you should ever decide to sell her I would be ecstatic to have you *consider* me as a potential buyer..." or something a little less... imperative!

 

I've had PMs about outfits and dolls- I've made some good friends that way. As people have said, the other parties attitude goes a long way in how the PM is recieved. If someone is rude about asking, I usually don't answer.

 

I, too, have wondered about the "about-face" sometimes... but I do also understand if the person was really trying their best to bond the doll (hence the "I really like my new doll" comments), but eventually gave up because it just didn't work.

Now that I've had time to "cool down", so to speak, I'm not as irritated by the Beryl post. But I do agree that it was all in the phrasing of the offer, as Baakay has said. That, and as Loagaeth mentioned, the fact that I haven't even gotten the chance to play with her yet.

 

I think it would be incredibly rude to ask someone if they would sell a doll that they haven't announced any intention of selling. Even thinking of the doll as just an item and not an emotional attachment, it's still rude. If someone came up to me and seriously asked me, 'hey I like your shoes/handbag/car/can of coke, I'll buy them if you want to sell them' or about any other item I own that I've no intention of selling I'd find it incredibly rude.
How they word it would count, definitely. I can imagine poorly phrased offers would feel like some kind of invasion of personal space - at least that's how I imagine I would feel - whereas a well-worded offer could be taken as a compliment in the best light.
Luckily I'm too impatient to save for a doll someone would want to buy from me, so it will never happen to me

 

i agree, and disagree
i would never want anyone to tell me that if i was willing to sell they'd give my doll a good home
nor would i want someone saying they'll buy it for x$

both are rude
and they can wait for one to pop up
on ebay or the market place

like me
i am currently saving for an sd ethan
he IS limited
but i would never dream of pming someone and asking them if they ever wanted to sell him that i would buy...

both are highly tasteless
and they can stalk the market place like the rest of us.

 

Well, it happened to me, and I never thought it would. But someone asked me if I was willing to sell my Tanning Lishe. Of course I told the person politely "no" and wished them the best of luck in finding their doll.

I really do feel its a bit rude to ask someone that gives no indication of sell for their doll. There is no feeler thread, nothing in their siggy. So it feels a bit intruding to me.

 

lol i told someone they where really lucky to own the doll and that i envied them and told them if the doll ever goes up for sell i dubs it


of course i was kidding though. but reading everyones comments i hope i didnt come across as being rude

 

They can, I guess, but it's rather rude.
They're just gonna get a reply with, "Um. No." XD