Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I think I would perfonally find it a bit insulting, either way. If it's meant to be a compliment, I'd be irritated that they did it because a) if it's not for sale, it's not going anywhere and b) if you like it so much, why not make your own? I put effort into making my dolls into what they are - I'm not about to pass them off to some stranger because they like the 'omg pretty uniqueness must have that one'. If you like it that much, you'd be better off silently watching and making an offer once it does come up for sale. I wouldn't find it offensive, though, to ask where the wig, eyes, etc came from. No two dolls will ever be exactly alike - only very similar.

If they went so far as to buy the doll and offer to 'keep the character'.. ooh, would I ever be pissed! That's the one part I work hardest on.

I can understand, though, how people find it flattering. I simply don't think that way. ^^; I could never imagine PMing someone whose doll I saw to ask if I could buy it with serious intentions.

EDIT: Wanted to add, way later, that I had a similar experience, though regarding a wig. I had it listed for sale, but then received a doll and took down the listing since I wanted the wig for the doll. Someone PM'd me asking about it, why wasn't it listed anymore, I'll pay you right now, etc. I must have said no as nicely as I could five times before they stopped asking. It was.. perplexing.

 

That's actually how I ended up with my August. ^^; He's a DM Kid Aidan Boy modded by Hitasura and he was absolutely PERFECT for the character of August. I happened to find him for sale by his second or third owner and I -just- missed getting him. So I get the name of his buyer and pmed her to let her know "I've been eyeing this boy since he appeared on the board and he's absolutely perfect for this character. I know you just bought him, but if you ever need to sell him, please let me know!" About two weeks later she PMed me back saying she desperately needed money and I was more than welcome to buy him from her. Had I not PMed her in the first place he wouldn't be with me now. ^^ But in that case, I believe I was very nice about it and I didn't harass her or anything. I just told her what the situation was and that I just looooved the doll. And I still do.

 

But I would think the reason why they're PMing you about the doll in the first place was b/c of the doll's character, not the mold itself (I wouldn't bother asking someone for the doll just b/c of the mold, I'd just buy it elsewhere). I think buying a doll and keeping its character is showing how much the buyer loves the doll as a character, not as a mold. Of course, if they pass it off as being a character that THEY made instead of the original owner, that's when you should be mad.

 

I don't know...if somebody bought (for example)Frank and decided to keep Frank's character, I don't believe they could, because they wouldn't know Frank like I know Frank. Plus, the characters are what's so personal about the dolls. I can see where the interest could be flattering, but at the same time it doesn't feel right to me. How could my doll's characters be for sale?

 

I don't think this is really ethically wrong -- it doesn't actually hurt anyone, just makes you look like a big jerk -- but it's seriously rude. You wouldn't go up to a random person on the street and say, "Hey, nice handbag/sweater/necklace, how much do you want for it?"; why should it be any different to send a message to a random person on DoA with, "Hey, nice doll, I'll buy it from you!". Especially since a lot of people (me included) can get really attached to our dolls, and tend to react like you've just asked how much you want for our child. You can sob all you like about how it's your dream doll that you've been looking for forever, you love THAT doll specifically and you'll never be happy if you can't have it, whatever -- but you don't assume that something's for sale just because you really want it. That's rude and stupid.

A couple of people have mentioned that they've made sales because of this -- but those owners had previously indicated that they were interested in selling their dolls, and weren't being PMed out of the blue with, "sell me your doll Y/Y". If someone's replying to a feelers or sale thread or even just "I'm thinking of selling this doll", that's totally different than asking to buy a doll that the owner has never shown any desire to sell.

 

I have had a couple of those pm's, but they were polite, along the lines of 'if you ever think about selling (doll) I would give him/her a loving home'.

Since they were non-aggressive I did not take offense to it (even though I wasn't considering selling my dolls). I mean, I understand their desire, I like my dolls, too!

I think sometimes when someone wants a certain doll that is no longer available they just try to be proactive about it, I can understand that; at the same time, if I had a lot of rare dolls and was bombarded with people asking me to sell my doll, I would become irritated so I am glad there is a rule against it (even though I didn't notice that there was).

 

Well, once I was in a thread about bonding with your new dolls and I mentioned I was having trouble bonding with my Tender Too boy. Someone PMd me and offered a very generous ammount for him. I felt a little nervous about that as although I had 'if I don't bond with him, I might consider selling him' I never said I was going to. As he was a new doll it felt a little awkward. The person kept asking me to PM her if I ever decided to sell him as she was looking for TToo boy. I replied politely, but it seemed a little out of the blue and I wasn't sure how to repond to something like that.

I do think it is nice to know someone likes your doll, but it's also a little difficult to come up with a polite way to say no. So I'd say that no, I don;t like it ><;

People I've met when I've taken my dolls out with me have made money offers too, (not a lot, they don't know what they are worth, of course). But that just seems to be more or less out of ignorance to the hobby. I wouldn't expect anyone within the community to make such assumptions that I'd be willing to sell something so special to me.

 

Well if the seller is not too comfortable in letting the character go, then they can simply say no. I mean...I've had several characters I have not grown fond of, but if someone else wanted the character, heck I'd care, I wouldn't use the character any longer.

And yes, now if a doll has been a favorite among many, of course another person cannot make that same character like the original character did (I've witnessed it before...kinda disappointing lol). But as for me, I'd just keep the doll and not really publicize it. I guess this time I'd say I'd buy it for the love of the character and keep it with me for comfort and not attempt to recreate the same character online...lols sorry if I'm not making any sense. I completely agree with what everyone is saying about rudeness and such...I'm just addressing how the buyer might feel...^^'

I dunno...I guess it depends on how the seller's attitude is like on this subject...^^'

 

I haven't had this happen to me, but I don't think I would be offended. I'd take it as a compliment that they liked my doll(s) so much. I'm honestly surprised that so many people would be upset about it. Even if someone was like "I want your doll, I'll give you $X for it", I'd probably be pretty flattered. If they wouldn't take no for an answer and kept overloading my inbox with begging to buy the doll, I'd get annoyed after a while, but that's just cause I hate spam. But for the request itself? I wouldn't really care.

 

I've actually had a lot of people offer to buy my dog, so that analogy cracked me up. And I did receive a PM a couple days ago offering to buy a doll... that I don't even own, and have never owned, or photographed, or posted a WTB about, or anything. I didn't report it because I don't even own the doll - I was more singing the "wtf" song.

It's okay with me to tell the owner that you love it and that if it ever *is* for sale, to please alert them so they don't miss their chance. But I do think it's a crappy approach to say I LIKE UR DOLL, SELL IT TO ME! - it's pushy, smacks of entitlement, and is just a bizarre thing to do, to me.

Short version: not okay.

 

Actually, the only time I've received pm's about a doll was because of the mold...my dolls do not have high character profiles, they aren't in a lot of gallery pics or photo stories.

 

I love the fact that we get so attached to our dolls that to some of us an offer to buy is tantamount to a stranger offering to purchase our children...

But to be "offended" by it? No. I would be flattered that someone saw the same beauty in my doll that I do! A gentle "no thank you, but I appreciate your admiration" should be answer enough.

Life is easier for everyone with the hackles down. Breathe, relax, and don't take it so seriously

 

Oh. well that would be very stupid...^^' now as a buyer, I would think I'd just go to the marketplace and as for that mold! lol

 

I didn't find it offensive, since they asked nicely and politely, but it was... suprising to say the least. I wasn't flattered either, since they were obviously interested in the mold as the doll they were interested to buy is a limited.

But as other people have said, it wasn't a reason to report them or yell at them. It was just weird to be asked that out of the blue and I politely told them he wasn't for sale.

I don't think I would PM anyone like that, only if they had expressed they want to sell it.

 

I wouldn't appreciate it if someone asked me if I'd sell them my doll when I hadn't even mentioned that I had been thinking about it. Now, if someone said 'I love that faceup, could you do one for mine?' I'd be quite flattered. I just think it's rude for someone to go up to you and ask you if you'd sell them something. I've had it happen with my car before. Granted, my car's a peice of crud and they were probably offering me much more than what I would have gotten, but I'm not going to sell it. So yeah.. Please don't come up to me and offer to buy something off of me if I'm not talking about selling it.

 

I honestly didn't realize that this was such an issue. I had heard about it from Enki originally, not personally but I remembered reading threads where she had mentioned it and I was appalled, I think the audacity of someone butting in where they don't have any right to is incredibly rude.

However, there is one doll that I have been in love with going on two years now. I know who the original owner is and was almost to the point of pleading with her to get him when he was on sale, but I didn't have enough money at the time. I knew who he was sold to and I did contact them only a few months ago to verify, and by that time the doll in question had been sold to her almost a year before. The second owner had also sold him but I didn't ask to who because I considered that harassment. If he is meant to be my doll I'll find him one day, if not I have enough right now as it is @_@

So to me, it's rude to approach someone who has no intent to sell a doll, period. But I also think, as people have said before, that throwing a PM out there saying "If you decide to sell, please consider me!" isn't that bad, as long as the sentiment doesn't go out of line.

 

OMG for real?? Someone told you that??
Scary!

People should be more sensitive about this kind of stuff.

I don't get anywhere near offended when my dollie friends tell me "If you ever want to sell Salem, sell him to me!" (omg... my poor stalked resin baby, lol! ^^;; ) cause I know them and talk to them all the time, and heck I tell them the same about their dolls, ahaha! But to get a message from a random DoAer asking the same question is weird O_o;;

I hope everyone gets the dolls they're looking for, be it limited or not, but please, look for ones the owner is actually trying to sell!

 

I find it overwhelmingly tacky to ask someone if they have no intention to sell in the first place. A better alternative is PMing someone to let them know how much you like their doll.