Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Very true that it does sometimes happen that someone on the street will ask someone else to sell them something... it's happened to me, too, where someone offered to buy the shirt I was wearing at the time. (For what it's worth, they offered me twice what I'd paid the day before and I had a tank top on under it, so I sold it, went back to where I originally bought it, and bought another one. But I don't think I could do that with my dolls, they just wouldn't be the same one to me anymore.)

My dolls aren't anywhere unique or special enough that anyone would ask me to sell them, I'm sure, and if anyone ever did ask I'd say no. And while I didn't realize it was against the rules to PM someone asking for their doll, I just took it as common sense to not do that.

 

Kuroraka-chan, I am not sure what exactly your comments were like, but if I saw someone mentioning that their Okita Souji is ugly and they have some unpleasant feelings attached to him, I would probably also like to check if they are not interested in selling/trading him But I do understand that you can be annoyed with that "you don't deserve him, you don't even love him!" attitude...

 

Often people PM asking to buy dolls that were limited or have been discontinued, and therefore you can't just go to the doll store and buy the sculpt. I also think that's when all the entitlement comes into the picture when people see somebody that may have two or three discontinued or limited dolls and they get all like "How come you have THREE of them and I don't have ANY" and that sort of whinyness.

 

There isn't anything wrong with pming an owner about a doll as long as you're polite about it and you've at least heard the owner say something about the doll not fitting in or having bonding issues, from what I gather.

Personally I think if I'd gotten one of those "I'll give you $XXX for it, gimme your paypal address" messages, I think I'd find that person to be exceptionally rude. Be cause they're automatically assuming that you're just going to say "Okay <paypal address>!!!!"

They don't even take the time to see if you actually like the doll or not, and that's equal to someone noticing that you have an expensive pet in the park and asking to buy it from you cash up front on the street. It's different if they can see you're complaining about how it made poops in your shoe, and how you wished you had never purchased it and they asked to buy it off you. But if you're clearly enjoying it and they're bugging you about it it makes it annoying.

To the owner that felt guilty: Don't.

People will sell you any kind of sob story to make you buy into what they want. It wouldn't matter if you had all the Bermanns that existed in the world rounded up in you house. You paid for them. End. Of. Story.

ETA: (I only used Bermanns because I don't know of any other elusive sculpt ))

 

Well as far as I'm concerned if I don't express any interest in selling a doll then I don't plan on selling. It's as simple as that. If I say "I'm considering selling him" then I am happy to receive PM's that ask about a sale. I have never indicated that I wish to part with my Megi and when I do call him ugly or talk about the difficulties I've had with him I do also mention that I still love him.
Even if I said I hated him and I leave him a box gathering dust, he is still my property and no one has the right to tell me how I treat it or what I should do with it.
BTW: This incident didn't take place on DoA. That forum doesn't have a particular rule against PMing about sales but I have told the person in question that if she does PM me again about selling my dolls I will report her for harassment. I have made it very clear to her that I have no interest in selling anything to her and that I found her comments extremely offensive. She has not replied as of yet so I think she's got the message

 

Without asking - people might not know that the person would never sell the doll. After all, how would they know if they didn't ask...?

But.
I am opposed to "out-of-the-blue" emails, messages, etc. which ask for something that I have, anyway - just because it *does* strike me as being rude.

As the OP said - I'd not be opposed (when I have dolls) if someone said to me "I really love your "X" doll - if you ever sell him/her - I'd love for you to consider me as providing his/her potential new home...."

But that's a totally different thing.
In my opinion, anyway...

 

One easy way to know if someone is interested in selling their doll is to check the market place. If it isn't there, you should really assume they're not interested in selling it.

I'm confused over why some here say they don't see any reason to not pm a person to ask for their doll. Don't you think it being against the rules of DoA is reason enough? Don't you care that it's rude? Even though someone has gotten a doll that way, it really isn't a good way to do it...

 

I can't judge whether you deserved to be spoken to in that way, but I do think it is in bad taste to PM someone wondering if they're going to sell when they've only had the doll five minutes.

I do find a 'simple PM asking if they're willing to sell' rude, I'm sorry but I just do. I wasn't brought up to bargain with other people for their things. I respect other people's property and privacy and unless I saw a doll in the marketplace, I wouldn't be PMing the owner about buying it. If I was moved enough by a doll to want to contact the owner, I'd say how awesome their doll is, but nothing more. I wouldn't even hint that I'd like to take that doll off their hands, because it's rude and it's against DoA rules.

 

When I first joined the forum I had someone pm me wanting to buy one of my dolls I'd only been on the forum 3 days, I also had one of these just a few days ago I've always given a polight no even though in my head I'm screaming nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

 

it depends how its worded. If its along the lines of "Will you sell X for $600" or something like that I'd be very offended!
People actually do that?! Thats awful!!! It's awfully rude and sort of insensitive. It's definatly not ok, no matter how rare the doll is!

I wouldn't report them... I'd probably be really stupid (I'm quite bad tempered and easily offended) and be extremely rude towards them :X I admit thats not the right way to handle it but I'm know for not doing the right thing

 

It is definitely NOT okay to PM someone about that.

I actually just recieved (about an hour ago) something like that from someone on Gaia asking me to tell them how much I wanted for a certain item of mine that happens to be one of the first things I had ever gotten on the site. (5 years ago. senitmental anybody?)

Honestly, you just dont do that to someone.

It's rude and invasive and I would do just more than report them for asking such a thing. Anyone who dares to ask such things should be happily prepared to get an eyefull of angry words about their rude behaviour from me. )<

Now, if the doll is on the marketplace, it's ok to ask at that point but not at any other time!

Asking where someone got a certain outfit or doll or prop is ok, but NEVER ask them to sell it to you unless it's already up for sale by that person on the marketplace. ): They could have been waiting a year for something and had just had it arrive the day before. It just makes you (the asker) look greedy and uncaring. Asking someone if they're going to take commssions on an item they made (but not for that exact piece) is also ok in my honest opinion, since you are offing to pay them for the time and effort needed to make another one of similar type.

 

Hm hm. No, it's not okay. That's why there is a markedplace, right? So that you don't have to PM the owner if s/he wants to sell it. It is kinda rude to. Dolls are like, a part of yourself xD You don't ask people to sell their soul to you XD

 

I think that there's an awful lot of that going on right now.
And in all honesty, it's not making me too keen on sharing images of my collection.

 

I have many reasons for not wanting to share images of my collection, and while that's not the top reason I have, it's one of the reasons on my list.

The thing that kills me is that unless it's a very uniquely customized doll or a true OOAK (like only one ever made of that color resin and no more ever forthcoming), there are likely to be similar dolls popping up in the marketplace for sale, that someone could buy if they really wanted to. (As an example, there seem to be Bermanns cropping up for marketplace sale on a fairly regular basis.) I always suspect what some of these PM'ers are really getting at is, "will you sell me your doll and oh, by the way I can't afford marketplace prices so can you also sell it to me cheap?"

 

I think that it depends on how the question is asked. I've been asked that if I ever thought of selling X doll, then they would love it if I contacted them to let them know. It didn't bother me the least, and I was even flattered that they loved my customized doll so much that they would ask me and not just wait for any that would pop up on the marketplace (it's not an uncommon doll to see).

I have, in the past, contacted people on DoA about some hard to find outfits. I phrased my question with care, a little like the way I was asked, and I always apologize for the unsolicited PM. Some people actually sold these outfits to me, either right after the email, or contacted me some time after.

That's why I think that it doesn't hurt to ask... Just my humber opinion.

 

I agree with Fereshteh It's really the way it's asked. As long as it's politely and hypothetically. If someone asked me that if I were selling my doll in the futur I would contact them. Well I think it's rather good to know that someone would be interested if I decided to do so. =)

 

I think that it's rude and kind of thoughtless, but I don't think it's technically wrong. I don't think it should be acceptable simply because it's annoying... and it's good that there's a rule against it! If someone ever PMed me asking if I would sell my doll (though it'd have to be a request for a lower price since I don't have any rare dolls), I'd probably just laugh it off and delete it.

 

I don't understand those that say that it's one of the reasons - or the only reason - that they wont show their collection here. That sounds odd in my ears; because if you get a message that you don't want to answer - delete it! Simple as that.

I can see it's a problem when you own lots of dolls and get like 25 pms every day asking to buy your dolls; but who gets that many? If it's only 1 a day - delete it!

I think some people are getting a little too much worked up about this; but I know - it's easy for me to say; because I'll never get pms like that. I own only 2 dolls for now and I'll probably not get more than max. 1 more....

If I had 100 dolls I would still want to show them here; because I would be proud of them and I would enjoy showing them to everyone. I don't see a single reason why I shouldn't show them. And then - if I get rude pms I would simply delete them. That's just how I see it.

 

That's really impolite, especially to a doll owner love the doll and not willing to sell it.
However, if this is a personal doll dealer, some people here sell dolls and doll heads frequently, maybe it's OK.

 

I never received PMs like these... I do get a lot messages asking me where I found dolls, outfits, and wigs... and, of course I don't mind. If I would get a message like this, I would probably just think that this person is really desperate to get a doll and feel a bit sorry for him/her... as soon as the message is polite.
I think I would feel offended a bit if someone sent me a message "I will pay you XY for your doll, give me your paypal address" as someone mentioned it O.o