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Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Aug 2, 2007

    1. I saw a (to me, at least)stunning doll picture in the Gallery

      I left a comment, and then went to the owners page, and pm'd about who the subject was.

      NEVER would I ask if the actual subject was for sale.

      It would be the same as a beautiful face-up, I would ask who did it, but wouldn't ask to buy the doll

      people invest so much of themselves into these resin beings, that it is insulting to assume anything, unless it is in print

      .......mind you, some of the Gallery pictures are worthy of an exhibition.........
       
    2. I find it quite rude to do so.

      I have encountered this question once so far for one of my limited dolls. The message itself wasn't really rude, it was nicely asked and the person said that she noticed that the doll was not for sale and if I would change my mind about selling her, that she wanted to give amount X for her.
      I was not really happy with the message because I don't want to sell any of my dolls. But because it was nicely asked, I did not report her and didn't felt too much offended. Also because I didn't know it was against the rules.

      In real life I encountered the same thing with my dog. Once man came to me and said: "I want to buy your dog. How much do you want for him/her?"
      I found that really rude since it is obvious that my dog didn't like him, she barked a lot and also because I NEVER want to sell my lovely dog.

      If someone would send me a message for buying my doll in the same rude way, I would report it.

      Also, because I am very emotionally attached to my dolls, I don't like the question itself and the thought behind it. Although I don't see my dolls as my children, but asking to buy one of my dolls would feel the same as if someone would ask to buy my daughter or son (not that I have any). Or my dog in the above example.

      Some things are just not for sale, and my dolls are one of them.
       
    3. I guess I have to agree with Silk, it's all in how you word it.
       
    4. I think I'd be upset if someone did that to me. If it isn't up for sale, then it isn't for sale.
       
    5. It never hurts to ask if it is worded politely.
      In fact I would take it as a compliment :-)
       
    6. I wouldn't do it no matter how much I wanted a certain doll, it just seems cheeky. I would just post a "WANTED" sign in the marketplace for the same type of doll.

      I wouldn't take offence if someone pmed me about one of my dolls though, that's what "No" is for :)
       
    7. I don't have my doll yet. (still waiting) but if, in the future, somebody gave me the nicer PM I would be very flattered like you. Also if I got the more blunt and rude PM I think i would tell that person nicely that I don't want to sell the doll and imply that they have broken a thread rule (if it happened via DoA PM) Then if they persisted I would report them (again if it was on DoA) or block them (any other method)
       
    8. I would too take it as a compliment. :)

      If I have something that someone goes to the lenght that s/he asks it politely from me, it just means that I have something that others like quite much. :)

      And, for me, there -is- always a possibility to sell my dolls, if I find something more suitable for the character, so I don't mind if someone says that they want to buy it if I sell it someday. Cause I want to sell the doll to someone, that really likes the doll and a polite pm about it would show it X3

      But yeah, it's against the rule now, but I would take it as a compliment.

      But I'm actually interested, that why people think it is rude? I mean, what does it make you -feel- or think about the issue, if someone askas about it. Thought velvetbat's example about her dog was actually quite good, cause I coudn't think about selling a loved pet, but I think a bit differently about the dolls. But is it from that or something else? :3
       
    9. I admit getting PMs out of the blue from anyone is a bit weird. I've Pmed owners telling them i've liked their doll and asking what doll it was but only when I couldn't figure it out based on their profile. Because i've always asked nicely everyone has responded nicely. I think this is quite flattering to the owner and it wouldn't bother me to hear this and I hope i'm not bothering the person either. I would never ask someone directly to sell their doll.

      If someone PMed me about selling my doll I would probably first answer nicely with a "no sorry she/he is not for sale". If they continued and they were nice about being a pain even I would threaten to report them. If they continued or were rude then i would report them. If they were rude right after I said sorry no then they would be reported immediatly. I don't take internet harrassing lightly. But to answer the deabte question I think it's ok to do so but when their is harrassing involved or rudeness then it is not. Of course everyone has their own definition of being "rude" so I would save PMs and let the mods decide.
       
    10. It's rude because the question has been uninvited. Most people are very attached to their dolls and asking someone if they're willing to sell their doll to you when they haven't even made a post suggesting that they're willling to sell their doll at all is rude. It's especially rude considering is costs nothing at all to post a "WTB" thread in the Marketplace.

      I'm as attached to my dolls as I am to my dog, so asking me if I'm willing to sell my doll would be the same as asking me if I'm willing to sell my dog! If there isn't a post in the Marketplace with the particular doll up for sale, then you should assume that the doll is not for sale. PM'ing someone out of the blue is as bad as turning up on someone's doorstep and offering money for their dolls because it's uninvited.
       
    11. Personally, I find asking if *anything* is for sale that isn't clearly marked is insulting as the proverbial. I play a virtual dog breeding game, and when people ask me about pixels, I unload on them. Half the time, I'm not even that attached to said pixels, and a good two-thirds of them have a sibling for sale.
      It's the mindset of "I want it, you should give it to me" that I thought most people grew out of in kindergarten. I would never, ever, in a million years, short of demonic possession ask someone if a doll they have paid (probably) half my rent for, and then put hours of time into making pretty if I could have it. If it's not for sale, it's not for sale.

      Would I report such a person? It depends. If they are polite about it, no, especially if I (hypothetically) am selling a different doll. If, however, it's OMG SO PRETTY I WANT GIVE IT TO ME!!! I'MMA POOR STUDENT, YOU CAN AFFORD A NEW ONE AND I CAN'T BUT I CAN GIVE YOU TWENTY BUCKS, you can bet I'd report that as fast as the Internet connection I'm on will allow.
       
    12. I wouldn't be super offended if someone asked me about selling one of my dolls, although the answer would be no! In a way it would be flattering, because that means they must really like my doll a lot. However, I would not ask a thing like that, because I just don't think it's the right thing to do. If I fell in love with somebody else's doll, I'd ask them what sculpt it is, who did the faceup, etc, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I wouldn't ask to buy their doll. I think we are all very attached to our dolls, and it would be uncomfortable for everyone to ask/be asked such a thing.
       
    13. If someone pm'd me saying that my doll is nice and whatever then i'd be flattered but if they asked if i would sell it to them i'd actually think 'wtf'. To me it would seem as if they're not asking but demanding me to give over my doll. And the other thing is, if you say no then that person could turn around and say stupid stuff like "yea well your doll is ugly!"
       
    14. I had this happen to me the other day, in reference to one of my new arrivals. Attached to a compliment about him was something along the lines of "Oh, by the way, I'm looking for one of these for a friend. I don't guess you want to sell or trade him?"

      Uh, no. I did not. I was posting to a gallery, not a Marketplace. Gallery = Not For Sale. I think my being flattered that someone liked him was definitely eclipsed by my annoyance at being asked, especially since it was my first-ever posted pic of this particular doll. I remember thinking "I just got him and you already want to take him from me!?" and feeling both defensive and possessive.

      So, as much as I would like to think I'd be cool about it, I've learned that all I'll be is irritated. But then again, the wording of that particular inquiry wasn't exactly casual or polite either (in my opinion anyway), so maybe that's why it rubbed me the wrong way.
       
    15. I've been on both ends of this now - I have been PMed out of the blue about my dolls (all of the people were quite nice), And i've "approached" people (maybe three? since 2004) very tactfully and nicely just mentioning that they had a lovely doll and in the unlikely event that they would ever consider re-homing I'd be very interested (I must admit I usually preface this with an appology because i do think it's a bit out of line). They have all been VERY nice and one of them did email me months later to offer me a doll I had been interested in so that worked out beautifully. Another girl I approached wound up a good friend of mine eventually :)

      Of course people's reactions will vary. I guess i've been very lucky to just run into very polite and understanding individuals who did not take my comments amiss :) And of course i'm very polite (even if it's a polite but firm "no") to people who PM me which has happened maybe 10 or 12 times in my years as a DOA memeber. I was especially flattered to get someone very inetersted in my Sia (who's charm is very subtle) and it was nice to see someone saw her in the same light and with the same admiration that I did.
       
    16. I don't mind it a bit, when worded politely, and have even sold a doll or two to persons who fell in love with particular dolls and asked about them. I've never had anyone react negatively to me telling them 'no, not this time'. Actually it's led to some nice/fun dicussions about different dolls and interests.
       
    17. As for me, asking to sell my doll will be kind of a compliment, it'll mean that people actually
      admire my little work on his character....but I will probably say "no", 'cause if I had the intention to sell, I wouldn't wait till somebody asks me. Of course I won't be rude, will try to explain them my refuse politely.
      And I suppose I won't message anyone with a request to sell, even if photos of one specific doll impressed me so much. Just because I'd rather buy a doll to give him or her unique character than a doll with bright appearence and personality given by another person.
       
    18. Well, I'd be quite surprised ^^; I don't think I'd ever do this, because it would 'hurt' the owner, or maybe it might make them mad XD I think if you really want a doll, like the person you'd like to get it from, it'd be better to wait until he/she puts it up for sale... Otherwise, it's just wrong if you pm them about buying a doll that they do not -in fact- wish to sell ^^; ...uh, I dunno, but that's what I think... ><
       
    19. ooooh, you shouldn't have said that Ocean-girl, there area few dolls of yours i've been drooling over :lol::lol: get ready for a PM from me! (just kidding!!! Well not the drooling over part of course) :sweat
       
    20. I think it's rude, amongst other reasons, solely for the fact that, should the owner consider such a deal, but offers him/her for sale at a price the interested party can't or isn't willing to pay...it will be very offensive to the owner. It's as though you're saying about a shirt at a store: "Oh, it's cute, but it isn't $45 cute."

      I had a handmade doll at a craft show I did once. She was a modified 18" cloth and vinyl doll that started life in pieces, and was stuffed, assembled, blushed, wigged, dressed, etc. all by me. A one-of-a-kind. People would come up, fawn over how cute she was, and when I said she was a measley $40, which was actually cost, they'd let go of her like I had said she was $400, say "oh," and walk away.