Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I have to agree with what many others have said, I find it rude. Unless you are clarifying if it is for sale because of a post they made about selling their dolls, or asking about where they got the doll then the behaviour is childish and thoughtless to me. We like to know our dolls are appreciated but that crosses over the line of appreciation.

 

I've heard of people asking to purchase pets directly from their owners and things like that, in total disregard for the fact that the owner might have an attachment to the pet or the doll.

It's one thing to say "If you ever want to sell this doll, please keep me in mind." But it's completely another to say "I'll give you $X for this doll right now. What's your paypal addy?" As though you'd be eager to give them your doll no strings attached.

What are people thinking when they ask for an immediate sale of something that's not for sale?

 

I think it's really crass, but there are brazen people out there who do this type of thing and worse. We've all encountered them somewhere; practically demanding to buy a doll that isn't for sale fits right in there with butting to the head of the line, pushing, shoving and other such childish behavior. OK, so we play with dolls. And from what I've seen many of this forum are just teens themselves. But anyone mature enough to spend this kind of money should be able to overcome that wild, instinctive "ME FIRST" mentality, don't you think???

 

NOOOOOOO
But I agree with julia. If someone just said "keep me in mind if you're ever going to sell it" that'd be okay. But I just know there are some people who are straight out "Okay, I'll give you 200 now, and 200 when you give it to me" even when you're not selling.

It's like going up to a parent and saying 'Oh wow you're daughter is beautiful. Are you considering putting her up for adoption?"

 

I think it's not right. For me, I'm not feel hurt because of such offers, but I definetely refuse to sell my dolls. There are many people who may be shoked by such offers, it may be offensive for them.
Somtimes I meet with opinion that every owner can sell his doll if buyer offer enough money for it. I think this opinion is very rude and tactless!
If somebody would like to sell his doll he put his announcement in the Marketplace.

 

I would never hunt through peoples doll list on DOA and ask, that's being a bit pushy. I think on somewhere like "flickr" if someone really loves a doll and has been looking for it everywhere then there is no harm in asking "if you ever decide to sell could you please keep me in mind etc." It's not being rude it is just asking politely. I have aquired a few dolls this way, mostly from people I am friends with though.

To me sometimes this is the only way to ever own a doll that is an old release or rare. I have had people ask me a number of times...some are more blunt than others but that could be because of their bad english. I simply say "I am not looking to sell but if I change my mind I will keep you in mind". It's no big deal for me really. People have to try right? It's a hobbie they love something alot and want to add it to their collection and they must have good taste right?
I have also sold to friends who have asked me, at least I know the doll is going somewhere I know will be looked after and I can still view their pictures.

But...Having said that I wouldn't offer money. That seems a little bit rude. But then again I wouldn't get my knickers in knot over it, in the big scheme of things its not really a major big deal, just say "No" LOL!

 

For me it's more of a "how" that "if" issue.
A well composed and polite PM can be treated as a compliment. I don't think it would be unethical.

 

I think it's horribly rude, and childish. If you want the doll, buy it yourself, don't just PM people naively in hopes that they'll suddenly want to sell you it.
I don't mind PMs from people asking what my doll's mold is or where to buy it; because they love it. I find it very nice when people take an interest in the dolls I own, and I feel really useful helping people by linking them to the sites, describing my dolls, etc.

But yeah, I find people who just PM you out of nowhere, nigh-on demanding a doll very offensive. It's like someone just ringing your doorbell and pointing at your TV and saying I'll give you $??? for it. It's not polite!
Things like that don't happen in the real world (or at least I haven't heard of it o.o), so they shouldn't happen on the internet, it just annoys fellow owners.

If there isn't a for-sale thread, then don't ask! (isn't that common sense?! XD)

 

i think its horrible. dolls ar somehing you get attached to. they become part of your family. what if someone asked to buy your sister or in the least case, your dog? its sad and i think that if they did want a doll like yours, i think they should just ask what mold it is and look for others that are willing to sell. my friend once was asked to sell her precious migidoll miho. it was for a whole lot of money, so my friend agreed, thinking she could just go and get a new one the month after that. she did sell him and she bought a new one the next month. she had to sell that one because she just couldn't bond with him. he was the same molds (head and body) and she did the faceup the same too she even kept his old wig. she begged the buyer for her old doll back but he wouldn't give him back. she became depressed for a few months. I HAD TO DEAL WITH HER. it was 5 months before she stopped crying herself to sleep. i was heart-broken to watch my friend break. so i got him back for her. we raised double his selling price. we had friends and family and teachers raise funds. they understood because she was so attached to that doll, she was never seen without it. they saw her with puffy eyes everyday and her hair in a mess. she didn't care how she looked and she was one of the pretty people in our school. it made us all sad.
so no, i think you should only buy a doll or ask about one if the owner is willing to sell and offered it.

 

I think that it's VERY innappropriate. If a person was willing to sell their doll, they would advertise it on ebay or in the marketplace or SOMEWHERE. Though I can SORT OF understand it if they don't have access to the marketplace or ebay or another site of that nature. Really, though, I think it should just be assumed that no one is selling their doll unless you see an ad otherwise. I'm sure that there are other other nice dolls out there that are obviously being sold, so you shouldn't have to ask a random person if they're selling theirs.

 

Well, I don't have a doll as of now (his head hasn't even shipped yet. xD; ) but I can imagine that somebody doing that would be pretty damn annoying. I expect I'd be more irritated than full-on angry with the person - after all, it is a compliment to your doll and design abilities. But it's inappropriate to send such a demanding "give me it now" email. I wouldn't call it rude, but it comes off as quite selfish to me, especially if the person asking was acting like a jerk about it.

I'd just tell them no, my doll is based off an original character close to me and I have no intention of selling him in the future, not even for your offered price.

 

No. Staight up, period. It is never okay.

With the mention of dogs, my older sister befell such a conversation, once. She had just gotten a new puppy, and was taking the little girl with her everywhere. While with her at a friend's house, said friend's mother seemed bent on convincing my sister to sell her the pup. It was so incredibly awkward, and only after about the 10th no, did she finally settle to playing with the puppy all evening. I honestly couldn't tell if she was just joking or not about the whole thing.

For many things, sentimental value can really outweigh the money. If someone were to e-mail me saying that they would take my doll if I had to sell, then I would let it slide, but even then, that's awkward.

 

I've hit this with jewelry I've made.

Sometimes I'll make a piece out of random things I found (for example, I found a broken pocketwatch and turned it into a locket) and these are all one-offs; I basically will be unable to ever find that exact part again to remake this special piece. In the case of the locket-watch, I had someone open it, look at the picture inside, and then ask how much I was selling it for... (Struck me as weird -- did they want the picture too? It just seemed really awkward) I was kind of offended, and it was really awkward.

Anyway, that locket was special and one-of-a-kind. I ended up changing the picture and giving it to my sister, and now it is one of her most prized possessions.

In the case of a doll, you would be hard pressed to make the same doll as someone else. If both had default faceups, maybe you could get close, but typically any given doll is essentially one of a kind. I can imagine that someone might be just as attached to that doll, which is a testament to their imagination, as I was to that locket.

Personally, I'd find even people saying, "If you ever want to sell (said doll), I want to be first in line to offer them a good home" kind of rude. First off, I do not feel it should be my job to track them down to see if they are even still interested. Secondly, in my mind it's kind of pretentious to assume that when you are ready to sell they should/will have the first right to that doll. Kind of like they deserve special consideration, over anyone else. In the case of, "Sell me your doll," if there is no indication that you wanted to sell, why should you consider doing so just for them?

So, in my eyes, no, it is not okay to PM an owner for the purpose of asking such a question. But I can see how someone might take such a question as a compliment. To each their own, I suppose.

 

^This has happened to me :C
My family and I have fostered several litters of kittens, and we socialize them by taking them out to pet stores, etc (making for the friendliest kitties you'll ever meet ), and we've had people come up to us, out of the blue, asking how much we wanted for "one." :/
Not to mention, an "old" friend of mine would get a new cat.
Every two weeks.
Then brag.
About what a "Good deal she bought /it/ for."

Bleh, anyways, off topic there, but I guess, in that retrospect, I would think it's kind of rude for someone to randomly ask how much a doll is they're not selling.
(Also because I'm thinking of the two dolls I want, and picturing after I get them, and then picturing someone asking how much I wanted for them, eeek, noplzveryrude )

 

Definitely not okay! That's totally uncalled for and seriously rude behavior.

 

Yeah i dont think is right. When i joined DOA i did get 2 or 3 emails asking if i was interested in selling my zi yuan. I thought of them as Spam, as the zi yuan is very common and mine just gets face ups from time to time :P . I believe is rude and annoying.

 

It is awkward to ask.

But If someone mailed me and asked me to keep them in mind if I ever sold I would not be offended.

 

While a polite PM may in a way be considered a compliment, I think this whole notion of "please keep me in mind" is sort of silly.

I mean, if I have no intentions of selling that specific doll, do you honestly think I'll go out of my way to remember who wanted to buy said doll from me? As far as I'm concerned, that doll at that given moment is to stay with me indefinitely. I'm not considering anything that has to do with selling it - and that means not keeping lists of people who want my doll. And if I do decide to sell it - years from the receipt original PM, who's to say that the person who originally sent the PM hasn't left the hobby/moved on/etc? It's not worth the trouble.

Moreover, it leads to rare but unpleasant situations wherein someone assumed that just because they received a response with the polite "I'll keep you in mind" means that they somehow already entered a seller-buyer agreement and get mightily offended when they find out that the owner had sold the doll to someone other than them - never mind the fact that the individual in question had no money to purchase that doll at the given time.

I think that if you want a specific doll, you don't bother the owner. Stalk it out for years if you want it so much, and if it goes up for sale then "hurrah", but don't PM the owners because it will absolutely not get you any closer to owning the doll.

 

Sounds pretty rude to me, but I probably would consider an offer if I happened to be strapped for cash anyway. Not that I have my doll yet.