Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

It depends on the person that asks. Some people may seem arrogant when they ask for a a special doll in your collection. Of course it's forbidden here on DoA.

I have asked for a doll that wasn't for sale. a very rare doll, and I said that I'd love for her to remember me if she'd ever want to re-home him. My friend asked the owner the same thing a year before me so when the owner needed to sell him, my friend was asked because she already loved the doll. This is a happy ending to an uncomfortable situation.

It is rude to ask a lot of things. Sometimes we have to take the chance and ask things that other people might be offended by. One can always reply, sorry I love her. Or just say that if that day comes, when I want to re-home her, you're on the top of my list. It's hard for the newbies too. We have to be nice. It's not so easy to understand all this.

 

With dolls, it isn't so much a case of when someone wants to sell a doll, but if they want to sell a doll. By PMing someone who hasn't expressed a wish to sell, you're assuming that the will want to sell their doll at somepoint in the future.

Some people collect dolls to keep forever or as family heirlooms, it is up to the doll owner if they ever decide to sell their dolls & PMing someone out of the blue is rude and presumptuous however you phrase it. If you want a certain doll, put up a WTB thread in the marketplace & let sellers come to you, don't approach people about their dolls without an invitation.

 

I saw my "dream doll" on flickr a year or two ago, and I finally got up the nerve to PM the person with a "if you ever think of selling, please let me know" email since I've never seen the doll for sale anywhere, and the person had just sold the doll to someone else!

But I felt really weird about it, and I won't try it again. I mean, even if it was something less personal, wouldn't it be awkward to be visiting someone and offer to buy the sofa out of their living room?

 

i would think telling us what NOT to do is WAY more rude then PMing someone
about an interest in their doll. This thread has gone a little off the deep end.
Mods even pm people about an interst in a doll. It isnt rude unless you mean it to be rude.
Plain and simple. If someone finds comfort in knowing there is someone out there
who would love their doll as much as they do and something happends to make you have to sell.
Wouldnt you contact the person who had shown enough interest to have PM'd you? I sure would.
So if anyone out there feels the need to PM me.... go a head PM AWAY!
I will NOT take your interest as rude.

 

It's actually against DoA's rules to PM people about buying their dolls without invitation. So these Mods you say are actually breaking rules themselves.

I still think it's very easy to make a WTB thread in the Marketplace. Not only is it easy and a lot more socially acceptable than randomly PMing someone, it also neatly sidesteps the potential hurt-feelings that may arise from PMing someone about their doll when they have no desire to sell.

LucyLuBot, the rules on Flickr are different. I've seen a lot of dolls up for adoption there, but here on DoA, it's against the rules to PM without the owner expressing an interest in selling first.

 

I feel that it is quite disrespectful for someone to PM an owner about selling a doll that they had no intention to sell. The question now is: Would you like the same thing happen to you?

Although it is understandable that some people are desperate for the doll that they want, they should know that they can not have all the things that they want in life.

 

would like it just fine i have no problem saying "no, i'm not interested in selling but thanks for your interest" i've had a few PMs (been around since 2005 though and that "rule" has not always been in place so far as i know) about dolls i wasn't selling and all were very nice.

... and no it isn't the same putting a WTB in the marketplace since all of the dolls that i was PMed about had no-standard faceups (uniques or very rare limiteds).

so while i understand while a lot of people see it as rude, i guess i don't understand why some people feel it's "OMG! TERRIBLE! HORRIBLE!!!!111" since it's an indirect complement to you and your doll. of course in some instances it is lazy (if it's a standard doll), though the person involved could just lack knowledge of that if they are new to the hobby and it would be nice just to steer them in the right direction instead of getting all upset over it.

i wonder though if the issue here is (partially) that some people have emotional attachments to dolls that make a PM like that sound as crazy as if you PMed someone about their child ... "hey little jr. is so cute, if you ever get tired of your baby let me know i'd like to buy him" . i lean towards seeing dolls more as posessions, ones that i am very attached to of course, but still THINGS. So asking me if i'm interested in selling a doll is no more of less rude than asking me about potentially selling my car, or a t-shirt i have, or a purse. It doesn't hurt to ask, but it's pretty unlikely that i'd say yes.

 

I actually read this literally - a Mod pming the person out of curiousity to ask about the doll - like what mold, wig, eyes etc. Not asking if they can buy that particular doll.

DeKaady, if you are seriously trying to make an allegation against a particular mod, pm another with your factual evidence?

 

I don't think it's very polite, but it's not serious enough to be reported in all honesty.

 

Its just plain rude -_- If you haven't given any intention of selling the doll, chances are you don't want to sell it, so yeah...

 

I wouldn't be offended, I'd be flattered, but I'd still say no.

I wouldn't report someone unless they continued to ask after I said no.

I actually did have someone say he wanted Loki (my DZ Mo-2) if I ever decided to sell him. And he's not a rare doll or anything, the person just liked what I had done with him and the character I created. He mentioned it a couple of times, but since I consider the guy to be a good friend...I decided I'd leave Loki to him in my last will and testament. :P

 

i wasnt offended so i have no problem with either mods.
There is NO allegation, there is no issue, it was flattering, and the intent was pure.
Those of you making more of this then needed......is only your opinion....
my opinion is that it ISNT a big deal. You have your opinion i have mine.

 

I think that it's somewhat rude to do that, especially if that owner has made it clear that they'll put it on the market if they intend to sell a doll. If someone PMs you out of the blue that they want to buy a doll, that's rather uncomfortable. Do you PM them back saying no and try to hide your surprise etc, ignore it and hope they realize that its rude? I personally would feel at least kinda offended if someone did this

 

NO! Not a ALL!

To me, that's like going up to a woman in a mall with her children and saying "Can I buy that brown-eyed one off you?"

That's terrible!

 

....... Except children are alive and dolls aren't..

 

Aye I agree with this lol.
I think I would find it as a compliment, that someone wants my doll that badly that they would pm me asking if I would sell it. As long as the user doesn't become obnoxious if I say no. I don't see anything wrong with it ^^;

 

OMG...LOL! Your going to compare REAL LIFE HUMAN KIDS
and NOT real dolls in this thread?

If someone was actually rude enough to WORD a pm to someone like that....

RaineFournier: To me, that's like going up to a woman in a mall with her children and saying "Can I buy that brown-eyed one off you?"


then they have no business on a forum with loving doll owners.

 

It's happened to me in the past on other forums with different dolls and it doesn't offend me. In fact it's kind of flatterring. As for doing it myself, there was one time I was tempted to ask someone about if they had ever considerred selling their doll because I loved the doll but I was not brave enough to ask. She put the doll for sale a few months later and by the time I saw the post it was sold. I ended up getting my own elsewhere but sometimes I think if you really really like something, it can't hurt to ask politely; I would hope people stayed polite and not pushy if they asked. If they were being obnoxious and pushy then I would definitely think it rude.

 

I have to agree with many of the previous posts, its not very classy to ask about buying a doll out of the blue. I personally would never send a PM regarding that matter.

 

The closest I've had to this happening is someone contacting me about a wig one of my dolls was wearing (in some photo on here) and they were wanting it really bad and willing to pay XX amount of dollars for it (it being discontinued on doll sites), when I hadn't offered or plan to sell it.

I always feel funny if someone asks me something like this, and especially offers money. If they are so desperate, I'm always afraid they'll get mad at me if I say "no". I also end up feeling guilty for saying "no" too.