Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I don't think that somebody begins to write to me that he wishes to buy my doll.) I for the present have not bought my dream - DS Hound and Bermann, so...))

I think, that'is always unpleasant, if the person speaks only about the price of a doll, as though it's ALREADY HIS doll, and a question is only in the price.

 

I've had my first experience with this recently, I reeived a message from some interested in my Souldoll Jinwo who happens to be limited. Firstly, it took me years to find mine and I don't recall every mentioning selling him. If I did I must have been drunk posting or something.

Secondly, I was really flattered and not at all bothered by it. It's not something I'd ever do, I learned long ago it can be easy to offend other people in doll hobby. It was worth a try I suppose and I only felt bad I had no better advice for her but constant market lurking to bring her dream doll home.

 

Finally it happend to me (just some minutes ago) and it felt like a kick in my stomach This person wrote me in my blog and she told me she wanted to buy a Souseiseki doll, so she asked me if I could sell her mine... or helping her to find one. It's obvious that she doesn't know anything about the BJDs hobby cause then she would know that my girl is a custom doll (and discontinued, btw). She even dared to said "I think your doll price is between $$$ and $$$" Well, as upset as I was, I tried to answer her as polite as I could that my girl is not and will never be for sale, I just lover her so much.

 

I think it's a bit rude to do so when the owner clearly doesn't want to sell the doll, but if it's polite and doesn't lead to harassment when the owner declines then I guess it's not really a problem.

 

I'd try not to let it bother me, but on another non doll site I had someone ask me how much I wanted for a semi rare vintage big brother my little pony that I love and cherish and would never sell, so it was a similar siuation , mildly annoying since just because you are using , proudly showing off a doll as your avi pic doesn't mean you would be willing to sell. I don't think I'd be annoyed unless the person was obnoxious or asked more than once.

 

I had several emails asking me to sell my Unoa Sist with make up by Ladious. And there was a price from.. and to... they supposed to buy her. People reffered to DoA and our bjd communities but it was obvious they knew a little about the dolls. I tried to answer politely, though according to the tone of question rude answer, I guess, would be more appropriate.

 

Please delete post. thank you

 

I've been cornered to try and sell my dolls a few times. One of them I avoid taking pictures now because I was nearly harassed over. Later when I considered selling the doll no one wanted to pay the price I was asking, because they wanted me to split the head from the body. I ended up keeping the doll and went into hiding with the doll.

 

I think it is rude, really really rude, but at the same time, I wouldnt be entirely put-off by it if it happened on DOA because I put alot of work in to making my dolls different and unusual, so I would probably feel like it was a bit flattering...

 

I know that I have already stated my opinion here in that I do think it a bit rude and uncalled for (under certain circumstances such as rude language and pestering). However, I like to address what trinlayk stated above. Of course you have every right to feel strongly about your dolls and love them, I understand and respect that. However, I think that perhaps a bit of slack should be given in that it is not a living creature. It is an inanimate object you bought from a company, not an actual human child or pet. Now, you might love your doll and maybe even feel like it is "alive" to you, but I do not think you can expect others to feel that way or even understand it (especially if they are newer to the hobby). So, while it is rude and I can understand being offended and reporting them (especially if they are rude), it might be helpful to look at it from their point of view (those outside the hobby especially) and maybe have a bit of patience and even explain to them your feelings so they will not make the same mistake again ^_^

 

I can see why it would upset people, but I think it's a bit extreme to call it "really really rude", "shocking", or "horrifying". The person isn't physically attacking you in an attempt to wrestle your doll from your arms. They aren't verbally abusing you and peppering you with insults and threats. If anything, it should be considered a compliment. They like your doll and what you have done with it enough to be willing to pay money for it, which means it appeals highly to them and they really like it. They must be pretty damn head-over-heels for your doll if it's not even for sale but they're PMing you "just in case". The intentions should be considered.
To those of us extremely sentimental and attached to our dolls of course it might come across as shocking or rude, but at its core, an offer to buy is a compliment.

I'm well aware of the fact that my opinion could be argued with a statement along the lines of "Just because they didn't mean to be rude/offensive doesn't make it okay." And this is true to some extent. But you have to be realistic about it, too. One collector likely won't feel exactly the same about their dolls as the next. One person might be incredibly emotionally attached to them, each of their dolls like a little piece of themselves, with their own personalities, names, stories, and the like. However, another collector could simply enjoy the dolls as a photo subject or casual hobby and not have too much emotional investment in them. For the first owner, an offer to buy one of their dolls that is not for sale probably seems like sacrilege, but the second one probably doesn't mind and can take it in stride.

I personally don't have a huge emotional attachment to my dolls, considering they are just objects after all and cannot reciprocate emotions or anything like that. If someone liked one of my dolls enough to want to buy it, on a whim, I'd take that as a huge compliment. Like I said at the beginning of this post, that means that your doll has so much appeal to them that they are motivated to make a totally random and unsolicited offer (at the risk of being viewed as rude or ignorant).

While the matter should definitely be handled with delicacy on both sides (the offering party should be cordial and polite, as should the one receiving the offer), I think it should also be remembered that; 1) It can safely be assumed that an unsolicted offer to purchase one of your dolls is not meant to be rude, offensive, or horrifying, and 2) It does not do you any harm or injustice whatsoever to simply reply with a curt, polite refusal, after which the matter is simply over with.

It is quite another thing entirely if you are being hounded or threatened into selling your doll, but that's not what I'm addressing now.

 

Ok, you've lost me on that. From what you FEEL, someone offering money for your doll is NOT the same as offering money for a real human child. But then you say that offering money for a doll is more like offering money for a REAL LIVE DOG. How does a live creature (human or not) equate to an inanimate doll?

 

It can FEEL like something, and still really not be anything REALLY like something...

 

I think it's not okay. And yes, rude. However, I'd probably be compassionate enough not to get angry, simply bc I know how it feels to reaaaally want something that much...

 

Please delete post from thread.

 

trinlayk I can see where you are coming from and like I said in my post, it is ok for you to feel the way you feel ( I may not feel the same as you about my dolls, but I am in no place to judge how you feel about your objects ^_^). I just thought maybe you (and others in this thread as well as I was trying to kind of make a general point) should think of others feelings and where they are coming from before becoming offended. Of course, there is no excuse for someone battering you or being rude, but I think that with patience and an explanation, both sides can move on without feeling very bad about the experience ^_^

 

I understand where you're coming from, but still... your original post was worded like that someone wanting to buy your doll FEELS LIKE someone wanting to buy your dog .

It is honestly confusing, because they're not similar at all. If you compared someone wanting to buy your doll to someone wanting your expensive one of a kind coat, then I'd understand.

Comparing an inanimate object to a beloved alive pet is just

 

Never mind.

I don't belong in this thread anyway.

 

If the offer to buy is an unsolicited PM on DoA then the person doing the asking can't be considered innocent of what they're asking. Members of this community know that dolls are very personal to their owners. Even if you're brand new and just signed up here, a quick read of the general discussions we have here will show you that people don't easily discard their dolls and that asking to buy a doll without the owner first indicating they want to sell is considered rude and is against DoA rules.

However, someone commenting on your blog, your Flickr or your Deviant Art isn't quite the same. These people most likely won't know that it's rude to ask if they can purchase your doll for x-amount-of-money...so it's up to you to educate them. Not with a flounce or a rudely written reply, because this could put someone off the hobby when they thought they were making a reasonable request. If you set someone straight and tell them where they're going wrong, they'll find it easier to get into the hobby and won't easily offend another doll owner.

 

Well, that depends on the situation, i guess.. if the person was looking for this doll everywhere else and it´s kind of his/her favourite doll and then there is someone trustworthy and of course if this person won´t say it´s her favourite doll AND is writing you a really lovely mail, then yes, i would of course answer it and i even think i would do the same if i would be really, really desperate ._." i guess.. i hope i never will be ^^""""""