Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I don't think it's ever OK to ask someone to sell who's never shown any intention of doing so; it's a horribly rude thing to do! I mean, I can think of three dolls on here that I'd LOVE to own, but I'd never DREAM of asking for them! If you really want a particular doll, you wait to see if the person in question chooses to sell, or if a similar one comes up for sale (like I did with Tobi yey, ebay XD ).

I'm still looking for one particular doll, and I'll keep waiting until I can get him - he's rare, and the chance of him appearing is low, but I won't give up! I've wanted him forever, but even that wouldn't tempt me to ask someone else for theirs. It's just not done!

 

I have never had a problem with it if a person were to pm me and ask if I ever decide to sell a particular doll would I let them know. After all, if you don't ask, then you never know.
However, what I do have a problem with is if having asked that initial question, the person then goes on to ask "and how much would you want for him/her if you were to sell" and then when told that he/she isn't for sale, then ask "so how much did you pay for him/her?" that is when I start to think it is a bit annoying.

 

I wouldn't really care if someone did because I tend to cycle through dolls and there's always the chance I've been thinking about selling a doll and just hadn't quite gotten to posting its sale ad yet. It doesn't hurt anything if someone asks and you say no. Now, if you had an extremely limited doll and you were getting PMed every day about it, that could get irritating, but in the unlikely scenario that someone asks if I was considering selling one of mine, I wouldn't mind them asking as long as they are polite and accept my answer gracefully.

 

ditto. I've gotten PMs like this and I've been flattered, I didn't mind at all. But they also did NOT harrass me about it, like PM me later going "did you decide yet?" etc.

This is how I got Jenna. I pmmed her owner to say just so you know, if you EVER considered finding a new home for her, I would be honored, and a couple months later, she came to me. Everybody was happy; she knew that her doll went to somebody who just loved her more than ANYTHING, I got my dream BJD, everybody wins.

I really don't understand all the people saying how rude it is. I believe it's rude if you push, if you keep asking, if they say no and you bug them. But to just pm somebody once and say hey, if you were ever interested... I'd be interested... and leave it at that, I really don't see how that's rude.

 

Well neither do i but we are in the minority! i mean, i *understand* why for some people it feels rude, it just doesn't to me. in fact how strongly some people feel about this has been a real eye-opener to me.

so .... er ... if you ever decide to re-home Elijah Belle ....

JUST KIDDING!!!

 

hee heee! best 4 sisters EVAH! she is one that I've gotten PMs about in the past. And Libertine, and my unoas.

Nobody's ever pmmed me to say they wanted to adopt Juniper Snowpea. I'm completely befuddled as to why that might be.

 

I've gotten PMs about a few of my Pipos, Dollish U-Da*, Bermann* and my Sia. I have to say that it used to be more common to PM people with "oh if you ever decide to re-home keep me in mind because i LOVE your ___" back in the day, lately i think people don't do it as much. That's just what i noticed ... maybe it's this thread!

*both sold

ps. i think people are sort of afraid of the Pea

 

Even though I am in no mind to ever sell any of my dolls, I am sure I would not mind a quiet, politely phrased question like that ... "if you ever felt you wanted to, you know, I'd just like to let you know that I'd be thrilled to, you know..." (In fact, I'd probably be a little happy about it, because it shows someone out there loves one of my girls almost as much as I do... )
I certainly wouldn't report it.
(Although that came across sounding like an altogether different kind of solicitation... )

But what is to my mind inexcusable, horrifying, and rude beyond description or indeed comprehension, is the demands to sell a doll to someone that some unfortunate members by all accounts have received — along the lines of "I wan ur Hikaru Genji, so Ill pay u $150 for him. And make sure u pack him VERY caerfuly!!!" (followed a few hours later by "why aint u send me the track# yet?!?").

If I were to ever receive such an "offer" myself, I wouldn't hesitate to report the miscreant in a heartbeat!

Rrriiiighht...

 

heh. i'd report them right after sharing that on Facebook and livejournal so my friends could get a good laugh too! Bulling and demands shouldn't be tolerated, I totally agree with that

 

exactly.

I had a friend (not me) get pretty well harrassed by somebody who wanted a doll they had. THAT is unacceptable. But a polite PM ? I really don't get why that's so insanely rude.

Yeah, nobody wants the 'Pea. She widdles on people's shoes too much.

 

And that is the truth.

Yeah, that. And bites their toes, I'm led to believe.

 

*dies*

I am appropriately horrified that people would demand (or even guilt trip) others to sell their dolls, but I would personally feel flattered if anyone liked my doll so much they wanted to own him/her. That is, unless they offered me $50 bucks for it, then I would be annoyed as hell.

 

I agree. Besides, Pm-ming an owner is sometimes the best or only chance you have to show the right people you're interested in buying a specific doll. WTB threads are nice, but you can't be sure if the people who actually own that doll will read it. When you pm them, you do. If it is a polite post, I don't understand why that is rude.

 

That's why the rules are the way they are, it's another level of protection against bullying and harassment. For those who don't mind gentle PM enquiries and will take or leave an offer, and the people who will graciously accept that the owner is not going to sell, there are also the people who do not take no for an answer and will wheedle and whine via PM about how much they will 'love' the doll and 'take care of it'. Members shouldn't have to dread seeing another PM turn up from the same person about a doll they have no intention of selling.

I do consider it a rude gesture to recieve unsolicited offers to purchase dolls from my collection, no matter how politely worded. The way I see it, someone has decided that their 'right' to aquire a certain doll supercedes my rights to enjoy my collection as it is, there is the assumption that everyone will be willing to sell any doll from their collection for any price, or that everyone will ultimately sell off their collection, which are quite clearly untrue. I consider it rude in the same way I considered it rude when someone in the street gushed about how much they liked and wanted my special edition silk Converse hi-tops. It made me feel uncomfortable knowing that this person wasn't complimenting my taste so much as bombarding my shoes with so many compliments in the hope I would give them to her!

WTB threads may not feel the most pro-active way of advertising that you're in the market to buy a doll, but they are the only way you can be sure that you won't be offending the very people you would like to buy from.

 

I still feel like crying every time I think about this.
A user here had a gorgeous Hypermaniac doll and I remember when she got it and I commented on him and all. I should have mentioned in my comment that if she ever changed her mind about him to PM me. Well, last month she put him up for sale and I just missed buying him.
Then the girl that bought him posted pictures of him and said how much she loved him and again I politely did not mention in my comment how I would welcome him into my home if she change her mind. Well, sure enough, the next day, she abruptly put him up for sale and I missed buying him AGAIN!

I should NOT have been polite.

 

oops double post.

 

That just goes to show....it nevers hurts to ask.

 

Dollyface, I'm just curious...if you're following this specific doll and know when he was bought and sold, how did you miss two sales? Either way, it is best not to mention in a thread comment that you would be willing to purchase a doll, it's considered buying/selling outside of the Marketplace and is against the rules.

 

The first time, I just happen to type in Hypermaniac in the search to see if anyone had one for sale and sure enough, he was marked sold already. I asked the seller to PM if the deal falls through.
The second time that he went up for sale, the former owner PMed me that I should rush over to the Marketplace cause the doll was up for sale by his new owner. I didn't see her PM till it was too late.

And yes, I understand about not mentioning in the thread that I wanted the doll (thank you for reminding me about it), I guess I was abiding by the forum rules after all and will continue to do so.
But could I say, "I love your doll and would love to have one myself one day"?

 

Just to make clear: when I'm talking about a polite PM I'm talking about a question that doesn't involve an offer of any kind. Just an 'I'd be honored to adopt him if you decide to sell him'. I don't see how that's going to put a damper on your love for your collection. I didn't say you don't have the right to own them, I didn't say it is mean of you to like your dolls. All I said was that if there's the slightest chance you're going to sell your doll, there is at least one person who'd very much appreciate that same doll you love so much. (all generals)

Perhaps I'm not as emotionally involved in my dolls, but I consider these kinds of PM's as business transactions. Just like when I send letters to different companies I want to work for, even though there are no current job openings available. If I don't show my face, these companies won't know I'm there. I don't think they have to obligation to hire me, I don't even think I have much of a chance, but... at least they know where to look for me when they do need someone with my qualifications.
Of course I could just make my wishes known to the world by writing them down on my website, but considering that only a handful actually visits it, this is not the most effective approach to getting a job.