Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

It's really not creepy, imo... I actually sold the shirt off my own back while on vacation once. (It was a very loud Hawaiian shirt I'd bought the day before for half what I was offered, and I was wearing a shirt under it so it's not like I was half-dressed afterward... I just went and bought another one.)

Would I approach an offer for a doll the same way? Probably not... most of my dolls have had a fair amount of personal work invested in them, making them more valuable to me. Even those who haven't had much work yet but have been with me for a while gain a sentimental value. But if it were a case similar to the one with the shirt, where I'd just received the doll, it was not something I couldn't get again, and they offered me double what it would cost to get another one? I might consider it, to be honest, but only if I hadn't bonded to that doll in any fashion yet.

 

That's a good point, that the creepiness would come with the context. The person who offered to buy my shirt didn't come across as off at all, just really wanting that shirt. I guess, from what I've read in this thread (since I've been watching it, it's interesting), the same does apply here, too. The polite requests tend to get a different response to the forceful or "creepy" ones.

 

I'm surprised that quite a lot of people say they'd be offended and report the person to the mod. I guess some people are really desperate to own the doll and I have sympathy for them, even if I'm going to turn down their offer politely but firmly.

Of course it depends on the manner they ask me. If they sound rude, demanding or quote a ridiculously low price, then I'd be offended. If they badger me about it, the mods are definitely going to hear about it.

 

For the record, my answer to the thread's question, is no, it's not okay. But just to throw some wood into this bonfire...

Hypothetically, some spoiled rich brat is offering you an unreasonably large sum of money for your beloved doll. Yes, it's obnoxious! Yes, you have the right to be annoyed and refuse! You even have the right to report that person to the appropriate authorities (mods). The question is, how much is enough for you to put aside all that noble posturing and give in. Is it $1000? $10,000? A hundred grand for your resin doll?

I suspect that absolute majority of people would part with their dolls for the right price. Those who are convinced they'd never-ever part with their dolls are either too young to have ever worked for the money, or independently wealthy, or delude themselves. By the same token, it's hypocritical to act scandalized if the unsolicited offer is unreasonably low, especially when an unreasonably high one would have been accepted.

Call me a cynic, or perhaps I've been living in the capitalist society for too long... And I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it seems to be the way this fallen world is. In any case, I'd be happy to be proven wrong.

 

I used to think I'd never sell my dolls. That changed but

I think it's rude if people ask in a rude way.

 

I think there is a rule about that. If someone sees a doll of yours and wants to compliment you or say something positive about the doll, fine. But to offer money for it or make rude comments-not something to do.

 

klum*9, you're right. Using PMs to contact members about selling a doll they have not put up for sale is against the rules.

If someone PMed me out of the blue, was obnoxious and entitled and offered me a hundred grand for a doll, I wouldn't take them up on the offer. If I got a polite unsolicited PM from someone enquiring that if I one day decided to sell my [insert doll here] they would love to adopt [doll] and would pay $1,000 for the privilege, I would keep them in mind.

Most people do have their price, I agree with you wholeheartedly on that score, however, I also put a high value on manners and my dolls are important to me. I would no more sell them to a rich rude person than a rude person on a similar income to my own.

I don't think it is hypocritical to be offended by an unreasonably low price, particularly if the doll in question is a limited edition and the amount offered is less than the doll cost to buy brand new, being offended by an unreasonably low price doesn't mean that the doll owner is only interested in how much money they can make off a doll. Limited edition dolls command extremely high prices partly because that's how much it would cost for the seller to track down and purchase another - if I owned a Soom Beryl (who has easily been sold for $2000 on the aftermarket) and someone PMed me asking to purchase her for $450, I would be within my rights to be offended at that offer. That amount wouldn't even enable me to buy a nude, blank Beryl with only human feet on the aftermarket.

Someone who offered me $2000 would have a chance of getting me to part with my hypothetical Beryl because I could track another one down for that price, but someone who came along and offered $3000 would have a higher chance of getting me to sell. Unless someone has said they wouldn't sell for any price, then I don't see how being offended by unreasonably low offers can be hypocritical.

 

Jescissa - yours is exactly the response I was hoping for. I do want to believe that there are people who value manners and civility above money. I know such people exist, met them. I just wish there were more of them.

 

oh... I think this behavior is rude!
but it means your doll is gorgeous enough to attract others attention!

 

Ugh no its completely tasteless and rude. Ive had in happen a few times and although its a compliment as it means they really do like your doll...at the same time its offensive to think that they believe you would just sell your doll that you've taken time to customize just for money.

 

oh lol.

I so love it when people say "Will you sell ____ to me?"

Had a case recently.

In the library at college. Two girls approach. One out of the blue remarks:

"My friend likes your doll. How much will you sell it to her for?"

My partner and myself were so shocked we just went speechless and shook our heads.

it's not the first time we've been asked either xD

I think it IS rude... really. why would people be proud to display them and not box them up and put up a WTS if they intended to let them go?

 

It might be the case that you think those people are rude; but I don't think they do it to be rude. I think they see the dolls in another way than we do. They see something pretty that they would want to put up for display - like an antique chair or a pretty vase. Many of them are probably not even aware of the time and work most of us put into these dolls - and that they're not 'just' dolls for us. So - I believe that they're guilty of ignorance rather than rudeness; but that's just my opinion. Besides - I don't think there are any people that gets these kinds of offers on a daily basis - so why just not forget about it and move on. Life is just too short....

 

I've never had this happen to me. I guess I would just laugh it off, but I would probably tell them some websites to get such dolls from. (If they were non-BJD knowing).

 

I depends on the intent of the person asking, one can definately tell by the tone of the message. I have had this happen to me before on IG but the people on there are like my friends and when they do message me it usually goes something like this: "Hey, I noticed you won *random auction*. If you ever tire of it or decide to get rid of it please let me know." In fact this happened a few days ago. I have even done so myself but not in such a serious manner. To me, when someone does this it tells me one of two things; 1. they are either to lazy to go find the doll elsewhere or 2. they dont want to shell out the retail price of the doll so they hope they can trick someone into selling their lovely for a lower price. As said before its tasteless. Kinda off topic, but it reminds me of that part in Titanic when the rich guy pulls out a wad of cash and tries to buy his way onto a life boat and the other dude looks at him and says "Your money cant save you now!". So true

 

Is it "okay"? More or less. I mean, a lot of people don't get the depth of attachment dolls can hold on us.

If someone asked me to sell Chae-ri, I'd thank them politely and refuse. I've only had her six weeks, but there's a lot of emotional investment (to say nothing of customization) in her now. Same for Megumi, Belle, Ashe, Reno, or any of my other darlings.

 

3. OR the doll is really, really hard to get and the person asking simply wants to get it out there (s)he is searching for one. If only a handful of people own the doll and you know who they are, why not contact them? To me it's nothing different than giving someone your business card.
Not everyone contacting owners has ill intentions or is too lazy to go look for a doll himself (or even has the arrogance to presume that the owner will give the doll to you). Some simply want to make clear that they would be interested to buy the doll if the owner ever decided to part with it. Dolls aren't life boats. Could very well be that somebody takes the bait.

 

If they just ask to know if I ever decide to sell it because they really like the doll, that would be fine with me (though I'd prefer they just asked what sculpt it was, unless it was LE). But like it's been said, thinking that they could buy it for any price is just rude and annoying.

 

Hmm weird... I thought I already posted here... oh well lol. I wouldn't be offended if someone PM'd me asking me to buy my doll. Lol and I definitely wouldn't waste time reporting them to mods unless something else was mentioned and I thought it was a potential kind of scam that could effect other members as well. Yes, I'm attached to my dolls but I'm also a student with loans and whose probably going to have to pay for grad scholl herself so if someone offered me $100,000 dollars or even $10,000 for one of my dolls (highly unlikely) it would be stupid of me not to take it. Its not about "being bought" its just about being realistic about your life situation. If I was extremely wealthy then, this wouldn't be a problem and I wouldn't sell. I absolutely love my dolls but at the end of the day although I highly enjoy them, they arent my life prority. There's no shame in admitting that either and I would hope others in the same/similar situation as me would do the same. To not would just be plain silly.

 

Yes, I would wonder if it's actually flattering for some owners?