Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Like many people here I wouldn't be offended by the "I love your doll and if you'd ever let him/her go..."
There are however those who get offended and I personally would never PM somebody saying that.

On a tangent, the fact that some people PM with intent to buy masked as a compliment has become a sort of problem for me. There are dolls in peoples avatars that I find to be extraordinary and I would love to write them a PM saying that I admire their creativity but I'm afraid that would be misinterpreted as me wanting to buy the doll even though I don't want to. I could add "p.s I don't want to buy your doll d.s", but that would seem kind of rude.

 

Personally, I think it's extremely rude. It's one thing to say that you admire someone's doll but to say that you want to buy it from them when it's not even for sale just doesn't sit right with me.

 

Maybe it's not quite the same but I think this is like someone telling me to look them up if I ever split up with my husband lol
I wouldn't be offended per se (indeed some would be flattered) but you'd have to be pretty keen on a doll to outright ask if it's for sale

 

Haven't done this, but didn't know it was against the rules.
I will abide by them, but actually would have no problem if someone was interested in my dolls.
I also feel it is a shame I could not say how much I loved a doll and that if that person ever contemplated selling I would love to have it. Especially if they sold it at some time in the future and I didn't know.

 

I think this is plain rude. As many have said - one thing is PMing with appreciation, which surely is flattering, the other is asking iif particular doll is for sale.

I would see it as a rude demand which sounds no less rude than "give it to me. I want it!".
I mean - what would be the reasoning for selling my doll to such a person? I wouldn't show/keep/buy a doll only to sell it, right? It's like assuming that people buy dolls for profit ONLY. And I consider the 'profit' thing only a nice bonus if I ever decide to sell.

 

I think it's a bit rude, but personally wouldn't have so much of a problem with a PM that wanted to know if a specific doll is for sale, but I know that there are always people in the world who honestly believe that just because they want something, people should give it to them.
It's rude and absolutely not ok to demand someone sell you their doll.

 

No, not OK.

 

I have reservation on PM an doll owner about selling a doll that they have no intention to sell. I always try to control myself not to do this as I take it as offensive. Be honest, sometimes when you desperately want a doll that you cannot find anywhere around the world with $ you will lose control. For myself I have pity on them and I will only tell them "no way!"

 

It's sort of flattering but at the same time it's quite rude and like a joke. It's sort of like saying the owner probably have the mindset, if you can pay it I can sell it.

 

Haha, I like this analogy
Both are very akward situations aswell xD
But I agree. it's not per se rude, but it's not the best thing to do.

 

That just seems rude. If your not already offering to sell it in some way then it seems presumptuous to just think that if they throw money at you, you would sell you beloved doll. Soooo in my opinion not okay.

If it was maybe just a question of where you bought it, for how much or something like that just someone being curious that would be okay.

 

Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?
I agree with Coppermoon above. It's a little presumptuous to think that I would sell them one of my much loved dolls just because they asked. Especially considering the wait I had for some of them, and the amount of searching I had to do for others secondhand, plus all the work I had to do to be able to afford them. So, no. I think it's very inconsiderate to ask someone to sell their doll to you just because you ask them to. Now, asking where you got it and its clothing, wig, faceup, etc. that's different because that's just asking for a nice nudge in the general direction.

Would you as an owner report the person, or have your own way of dealing with it?
I wouldn't report them right off the bat. I think I might be flattered that they liked my dolls so much but I definitely wouldn't sell just because they asked. I would tell them where to get the doll, who did the face-up, where I got the wig/eyes, etc. but that would be pretty much it. That way, they can find the things on their own. If they kept pestering me, constantly messaging me to try to convince me to sell, I would probably contact a mod.

 

Well I am defently going to be the minortiy here and say I can not see how someone asking if you would be willing to part with something as "rude". For goodness sake must everything be viewed as an intrusion and insult? Are you so wraped up in your fantasy doll world that it is sacred for goodness sake. You are putting yourself out to the world online and showing off your collection to thousands of people from all over the world and someone asks if you might be willing to sell a doll and that somehow offends you? I re-read some of your answers and find them to make no sense at all. I have many beloved dolls and a few heirlooms from a much loved Grandma .Someone at a quilt show asked if I was interested in selling a quilt I had from her. How in the world would someone know what it meant to me. How could I take offence to something like that. I say Big Deal, ask away. You could always look at it as a complament as to your fine taste in dolls and say 'No, I really treasure this doll but thank you for inquiring".- Seems like a mountain out of a mole hill.

 

I would feel that it's quite rude to ask if it is on DoA as they can search for more infomation about the doll here and go to the doll website or marketplace, but if I went to some meeting in the cafe or take my doll out and someone ask me because they like it but don't know where to buy BJDs then I wouldn't feel that it is rude. On the other hand if I think positively it is good to hear that someone appreciate my doll so much that he/she really wants it.

I would answer back politely that I have no intension to sell my doll and give he/she a link where I bought the doll they interested from.

It's always good to know that someone have the same opinion as you do "doll lovers"!!! ^^

 

juno101 - part of the issue with someone sending a PM enquiry on DoA is that someone on this forum would have a better idea than someone off the street that the dolls mean much more to the owner than just simply being a collector's piece. Most dolls are regularly played with in some way. Most dolls are talked about online. Most dolls are regularly photographed. People become very attached to their dolls. Strong emotions are tied to our dolls and who would understand this better than another collector? That's why this is rude, it's because you are placing your feelings of wanting a doll above the feelings of the owner of the doll and still expecting them to sell you their property!

The other part of the issue is that it's against DoA rules to solicit sales outside of the Marketplace by misusing the PM system. Anyone would be within their rights so report someone for PMing them an unsolicited enquiry about a potential doll sale.

It's not only rude, it's bizarre. I can't think of any context in which putting yourself above someone else and still expecting them to do you a huge favour is acceptable.

 

I honestly don't think its rude if someone pmed and asked me to sale my doll to them or if she were ever for sale, to let them know. I don't think its a big deal at all... All I can do is say "No" if I don't want to...

Has it happened to me before? Yes!

Would I report the person? No, unless they harrass me about it... harrassment, now that is rude....

 

A while ago someone PM'd me to say how beautiful they thought one of my dolls was and if I ever, blah blah... I was flattered because I did her face-up myself but obviously declined. The person was very polite and took no for an answer, which was all fine by me. I was more surprised than anything as I rarely post pics of my dolls here. Would I even remember the person's name in the dim and distant future if I wanted to sell, probably not, but I certainly wouldn't exclude them.

More recently I was looking for a particular doll and found a sales thread that had been left lingering on the MP. I thought it was worth a shot as there was no "Sold" or "I've changed my mind" on the sales thread and no replies either so I sent a polite enquiry and got my head bitten off by response! Would I remember that person and actively avoid any sales thread in future? You bet, I would also never sell to that individual either.

I think it all comes down to people's attitudes. Obviously some of us are not offended to be POLITELY asked whereas other people are always on the lookout for something new to offend them. Not accusing anyone on this thread of that, but we all know they are out there.

 

Vonbonbon: I couldn't have said that better myself ^_^

 

I agree with Juno101 and Vonbonbon. I believe asking is fine, who knows maybe that person they pmed just happen to be thinking about cutting down or selling for whatever reason it doesn't matter. If not the person should just smile and take it as a compliment or educate the person( like someone above has said, state who the makeup artist, sculpt ect. No need to write back a novel if you don't feel like it. You'd be supporting the artists and companies you admire by getting there names out) The person asking could just be newbie or not but hey they would be learning something and you could add your advice as a check for a minor good deed for that day that you just did instead of getting upset and ruining your day for no reason that that person 98% of the time probably had no intention of.

Just take a deep breath folks it will be okay But if someones stalking you about it with a bunch of emails and demanding/ harassing then I agree that's rude and contact an admin.

And Yes I understand some people just expect things when they want it. I get that here and there at work when i'm with a client that a person will walk in and be upset that I was booked up for the day and they would have to make an appt or they would have to come in next day if I had time. BUT... It's really easy being the bigger person, just smile and nod and move on.
( of course they won't see you through a computer in this case but a tiny positive reply back and your done. End of story. Happily ever after.) If they don't harass you of course.

I work in the art field and this question is common. Actually this is what we want to hear People see a painting or whatever it is and ask, if it's our own work we sell it ( If it's for sale). If we own another piece of work by another artist and they ask and we don't plan on selling we simply just say that's from our personal collection or that's not for sale. but I'll educate them on who the artist was etc etc... So they can do some research further if they are still curious. I love Salvador Dali's famous Quote. " A true artist is NOT one who is inspired, but one who inspires others...

Life's full of crazy things out there with Our economy in the dump (ah..yes, I'll stop there Politics make everyone mad...) So... no reason to get our panties in a bunch over this minor question. Cheers to all of us sharing the same hobby, right? I'm not trying to be Ghandi or anything. I'm just simply stating what works for me and wanted to share.

 

I don't agree. In every collector's hobby people have strong emotions over their collection, be it dolls, or tin cans or comic books. And yet in other collector hobby's (at least the ones I have been part of) it's okay to inquire if someone at some point might be willing to part with a certain item as long as it is asked politely and as long as it isn't forced upon the owner. I could always say "no" if I don't want to sell.

People don't ask this to deliberately hurt me and they are not 'out to get me', so I don't think there's any need to feel insulted.