Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

well.. if the person pm'ed me once and asked. i wil be happy but i would say in the reply" no, i am not selling. But thanks for the flatter." but if the same person asked me over 3 times i would report as harassment *it would just be too much to handle* if the person demands a explanation for why am i not selling.. i would just say.. i loved the doll why should i sell?

 

I agree with you, Enki! I would feel uncomfortable as well... a positive comment saying they like your doll and to let them know if it ever needed a good home I feel is all right, but if someone was trying to make a transaction if you had not told anyone that you were considering selling I think would be too much. I don't know if I would report it or not... it would depend on how they PM'd me and what they said exactly. If they were just asking me to sell I'd just kindly say "Oh, I'm not selling! I'm sorry!" and try to point them to someone who has their doll up for sale or perhaps a dealership/company website with the doll... maybe tips on how I got him and all.

 

I was contacted once also. They were very nice about it and not at all pushy.
Didn't really bother me - I just told them that I wasn't selling sorry!
On the other hand, I would be unimpressed if the query was more pushy and offering low prices.
If it was a great price, I guess I would be flattered :-)

 

totally agree 1000% XD
its unique, and i quote what guitarist Jeff Loomis said: "Don't try and play like me, there's a guy in Wisconsin(Jeff's hometown) who plays exactly like me, and we never hear anything from whomever that guy is do we?"
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I was surprised when this happened to me with my Iple Noctarcana Cherie. I thanked the person for loved my doll but said, no, she wasn't for sale because I loved her myself. Then I told her she could get a similar doll through the Iple full choice system.

Had the person continued to pm me, I would have explained that this was against forum rules and if it persisted, then I would have informed a mod.

 

Example: I have a Chalco. I understand he's a pretty popular sculpt, a lot of people were sad that they missed out on him. However. If I'm messaging someone who is selling a doll, and offering a different doll (example, my B&G Morant) as a trade (because the listing says "make me an offer"), I don't want that person to turn around and say, "Nah, I don't want him... But I'd trade for your Chalco head =D" Had this happen and was a little upset with the individual, because I'd never posted anywhere that I'd be willing to trade or sell Escalus ever--I was only offering the Morant.

Another example, was waiting on my Aphan and was looking at other dolls, and enquired about one that I'd been eyeing for a while, offered a yo-sd I had for sale at the time. owner turned me down, which was okay with me, I was a little bummed, but they're allowed to say no. However, they did turn around and say they would trade their doll (Soom Grit) for my Aphan. I got this response the day my Aphan arrived, and had proptly fallen in love with him. Had I not loved him, I would have been more okay with her asking, but as he had arrived and I was in love with him, I politely turned down her counter-offer. The second one wasn't as upsetting as the first one, though having anyone message me to buy my Chalco upsets me, because I have had accusations that I just never get attached to my dolls, and there have been jokes made about "How long will this one stay?". I know I shouldn't let them upset me, but after a while, that's all it does is upset me that because I have had bonding issues with dolls before, people expect I will always have bonding issues, and I really don't now--I love my Chalco and Aphan to pieces. I know having people PM me about wanting to buy one or the other just makes me upset, even if it wasn't their intention. Never mind that it's against the rules, it makes me feel like they think I don't love my doll.

 

I can see your point

 

That would make me so mad! I don't even think it would cross my mind to check someone's list of dolls to see what all they had, why on earth would I do that? I think something like that would upset me even more than a random offer out of the blue trying to buy my doll.

 

I don't mind a polite request, but its pretty cheeky considering its against the rules on here.

However offering a low price or a trade, especially when item is not even listed for sale, is not on.

On another forum I had someone PM and offer $20 for a $300 doll - yep. When I politely said the doll was not for sale, the person kept pestering me. Back then I thought it was annoying but simply ignored them, today I'm nastier and would have reported them haha.

 

I feel it is wrong if they wanted to sell it they would put it on the marketplace

 

I keep getting messages about my dolls hoping that i'm going to sell them and i'm not even active on here anymore. I personally don't like it.

 

Hey Musesick, you could PM a mod and tell them what's going on (and names too, perhaps). Since the Mods have recently gone to the MP suspensions about these sorts of things, I'd bet you will get less harassment in the future.

Personally, about this subject, if someone sent me a PM saying "Hi your girl is really cute, if you ever need a good home for her I'd love to give her one" I'd be less offended than someone offering a set amount. In either case, I'd tell the person I have no plans to sell, but I'd be a lot more abrupt and less nice about it in the second case. If I got more than one message, I'd probably tell a mod. Right now this isn't a problem for me - I don't have LE dolls or ones that are hard to get.

 

i'ts not If you don't want not this is sell by force,

You can talk with the people that the next PM you report them for bothering. n_n

 

Even if someone is asking politely, it can still get wearisome and cross over into rudeness when they just keep doing it, which is a problem I've been having with my MNF Shiwoo girl, Gabrielle, though not over here on DoA. When I first posted pictures of her on my LJ, a woman on my f-list - who is completely not a dolly person, let alone into BJDs - fell in love with her and said she thought Gabrielle was utterly gorgeous, and should I ever consider selling her would I please keep her in mind.

I thanked her politely, explained that Gabrielle is part of my own private collection and is not for sale, and thought no more of it. Until the next time I posted more pics of Gabrielle and the same woman commented saying how much she adored Gabrielle and would love to give her a home.

And she did this every single time I posted pictures of Gabrielle in my LJ until now, I just don't post pictures in my LJ anymore.

I've offered to help her buy her own MNF Shiwoo girl and offered to do her face-up and make her an outfit - but no, it's Gabrielle she wants, and she just doesn't understand that she's not for sale. It's a shame, because in all other respects she's a nice enough woman and I don't want to defriend her simply for being pushy over a doll - but at the same time, it's spoiled my enjoyment of Gabrielle a little. I'm just thoroughly grateful this woman hasn't discovered my deviantART and Flickr accounts yet, or I'd never be able to enjoy taking photos of Gabrielle.

She learned recently that I'm downsizing my collection. She instantly demanded to know if Gabrielle and Christine, my Lishe, are amongst the dolls I'm selling. *facepalm* (They aren't.)

Even if worded politely, it can still be rude.

 

It is kind of rude, when asked in the wrong way...it's like going up to a mother and saying "Wow your baby is just adorable!! Would you sell her to me?"
You just wouldn't lol xD Especially since a lot of doll owners feel the same way about their dolls as they would a child...i would never ask outright like that, i would just express how much i love the doll, then see if the owner mentions selling, if they don't, it's obvious that it's their baby lol xD

 

Wow, that would seriously piss me off!
There's being interested and enthusiastic, then there's being a pain in the ass..
Maybe you should just send her a kind but firm message, telling her that no matter how many times she mentions Gabrielle, you're NOT going to give her up, and that it's making you frustrated and stopping you from enjoying your doll? It's possible she doesn't realise how tiresome she's being, and if told about your negative feelings, she might realise how bad she's being and stop, or at least slow down a bit xD
I do hope you manage to resolve the issue, it sounds like you're having a rough time with it

 

I'd be rather shocked. I mean, if I haven't expressed interest in getting rid of the doll in, y'know, a marketplace post, clearly I'm not going to give that doll up and acting like I'm just going to give it up the moment I get an offer is pretty freaking presumptuous. Pestering me for my doll is probably only going make me dig my heels in and keep that doll even longer than, say, if someone said, "oh, I love that doll! If you're ever looking to find another good home for that one, please keep me in mind."

 

I recently had someone PM me and tell me they'd been scouring the gallery to find people who owned a particular sold out item and wanted to know if I was willing to sell mine. I was pretty appalled that they were using the gallery as a classified ad, especially since that sort of seems like the epitome of trying to conduct transactions outside of the marketplace.

 

Thankfully it was not on this forum, but elsewhere I had bought a doll from someone and fell in love with her (I become attached to my dolls and I don't sell/trade them...ever, barring extreme unforeseen circumstances beyond my control, of course). Less than a year later, out of the blue I get a message asking if she can buy it back. It was for a friend of hers that now collected. *sigh*

I had more than one of this doll and after deliberation and lots of urging, we came to an agreement that I would trade the one I had that was not customized for a special doll (grail) she had that I had wanted for a while...she was selling it anyway. I was okay with that.

When we finally get all of this settled and I have it sorted in my mind to trade this doll, and I have 'said goodbye' and am ready to pack her up...I get a message again saying that she is so excited that she found the doll for sale at a good price and the trade is off.

Quite frankly, I was a little ticked at that point. First, she came to me wanting to take back the doll I had bought. This doll was now very rare and I very reluctantly agreed only when she offered something I had only dreamed of having. Then I settle on the trade only to be kicked again when she found the rare doll at a good sale price...leaving me without the grail doll. I was ticked and hurt for being jerked around so much.

I don't know. I didn't expect that, but I guess you don't know folks or what motivates them.

Most people that know me well, know that I buy my dolls carefully and once they are home they are here to stay. My tastes are eclectic anyway, so I don't know how many people would want my dolls to begin with, so I am rarely approached. LOL... If someone asked once, I would be flattered. If they kept on and did not take no for an answer, it would be a problem. My dolls are like a mini version of my cats and my kid. Don't ask me to give any of them up...no kid, no cats, no dolls.

 

I don't know if it would be the same as a child, but maybe a pet? I used to have lots of people see my cat(who was an orange tabby siamese) and ask me for him! It's just annoying even if they act like they're joking. No, it's not okay to ask for someone's doll, pet or child no matter how nice you are! And it's also not okay to joke about 'stealing' it unless you know the other person really well.