Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Originally I would have said it's not offensive. It's actually kind of flattering.

It becomes insulting when they assume you want to get rid of your doll because you haven't shared it on the forums. It's insulting if they ask you more than once if you will sell your doll even after you've given them a list of links of where to buy it, or similar dolls

 

juno101, regardless of whether you, personally, find it offensive or not, it is actually against DoA rules - because enough people do find it offensive and annoying.

 

To be honest, I would be quite surprised if this happened to me but initially I would expect them to be non-dolly people who didn't realise the level of sentimental attachment that dolls can get.

 

Arklady, I do know it is against the rules but I will ask a Mod why???? It seems strange as it is not eBay where the forum gets a cut on all that is sold here.

I have seen a few signatures saying "Ask me about my dolls". Maybe people who get so incredibly upset at the uncouth imbecles who dare mention such an atrocity could add to their signature " I am easily offended by being asked about my dolls. If you ask I will report you to the authorities". That should put a stop to that craziness

I am amazed that this thread is still going strong? I think I will bow out before I am kicked out.

 

people saying "ask me about my dolls" usually mean "If you want to know what mold my dolls is/who did her face/ etc. just ask me" not "Feel free to ask me if I want to sell any of my dolls even though I don't have them listed on the marketplace". Sometimes they might mean the second, usually it's the first.

If you don't mind people randomly asking you to sell your dolls, maybe you should list that in your sig "Hi I might sell my dolls, if you are interested in any of them just pm me"

 

I agree with ezzora, when people say ask me about my dolls, it means mold/face/company/etc, otherwise their signature would read: "For Sale:..." or something along those lines. You wouldn't walk up to your neighbor who has a dream car that he's in love with and say "I want to buy your car, how much is it/will you sell it to me?"

I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me if I would sell my doll, though I know some would be. I'd say check the marketplace if you want to buy one lol. Heck, I might even look on the marketplace to see if what they want is for sale and tell them about it. I like to help people. But I would never ask if someone is going to sell their doll. I'd feel rude asking and I want my own!

 

It's totally not okay! You have that doll as yours. Would you come up to a person asking if they're willing to sell a car in their driveway?

To me, it seems really bizarre to just... Receive one of these messages. Oh well~ Can't control everyone. ^^

 

No, it's not. I had it on several occassions with my Barbie and Sindy dolls and I was kind of offended. On the other hand it's a free world and if they ask politely you can let them down politely.

 

I don't think it's okay, and I would be offended, if it ever happened to me. It's not wrong per se, unless they badger you about it. Then it's time for a swift kick in the face. It does also depend on how it is worded, which is well illustrated by what Julia said.

 

Ha ha, thats a good one Arkady Why even start the thread if it is against the rules??? Why even join in or talk about it???

The thread is called 'Is OKAY to PM' and then when someone thinks it IS OKAY everyone jumps down their neck.


We must all abide by the rules on DoA Arkady, so why question them?


This whole thing is so utterly rediculous. How about if some uncouth, ill bred, Hillbilly dares to ask such horrific question all the 'Hall Monitors' can just turn them into the MODS?
"Oh Miss Hucklbeyyyyyy, you forgot to pass out the hoooomworrrrk".


I think I'll start a thread and ask if 'Is it OKAY To Break the Rules On DoA'?

 

I can see why it's against the rules, but there's no harm in saying "Hey, if she ever needs a home. . . " vs "I'll give you $600 right now for her."

I think it just depends on the context whether or not anyone would report it to the mods. The latter was a rule breaking offer to buy what was not for sale instantaneously, the former seemed like a polite offer in the event that you did want to sell at any point. More like a notice that you would be willing to buy should they need/want to sell.

Eye of the beholder, I suppose, but badgering for a sale is definitely not cool.

 

I would just like to let everyone know I have recieved 3 PM's from 3 different people saying the agree with me and a few of the others who dare say this seems like no big deal but they are afraid to post on these sorts of threads. That seems really sad as some of you are very intimadating and love to put people in their place. This is a disscusion on something debatable and yet people are afraid to debate, strange.

Of course it is NOT okay to hound and demand someones doll, but who in the heck has that EVER happened to???? Not me and I would be hard pressed to believe anyone who say's it has happened to them.

But to ask in a PM "If you are ever thinking of selling your Cooki let me know, I have always wanted one, I just love her !". That offends you???

 

It's not allowed under DoA rules because yes, it has happened in the past that people have been hounded via PM by people who wouldn't take "no" for an answer, and yes - they were offended by it. Hence the rule was brought in to put a stop to it.

Quite frankly, it's irrelevant whether you personally would feel offended or not - and it's also equally irrelevant how many people PM you in support of your position. "The lurkers support me in email" has never been a valid debating technique, here or elsewhere. If they support you, let them come here and debate it. They don't need you as a spokesperson.

 

Uh... hi!

It happened to me for an entire year, and when the person was banned from DoA (over something else, as it happens) they carried on contacting me via e-mail and on my Livejournal, telling me over and over that I aught to sell 3 of my dolls to them. They even had the nerve to demand a lower than reasonable second-hand price for them, but no amount of saying 'no' made them leave me alone. I banned them from my LJ and blocked their e-mail address several times, as they kept changing their username to keep up harassing me.

When I did eventually try to sell one of my dolls, they even went so far as to ask other people to buy the dolls from me on their behalf, as by that point I was refusing to deal with them at all, and for any reason. When a friend of mine refused, she was subjected to 4 months of abusive e-mails from this woman.

So yeah, it does happen. And it's more than just annoying- it can be very upsetting and even frightening.

 

I'm going to have to say that yes, it would offend me. The doll in my avatar is much sought after (right now there are three WTB threads in the marketplace and there were only six of us in the DOA waiting room, so the WTB are likely to continue) and I don't want messages from people however politely put asking me to sell him. Why? Because to me he's akin to family, and he's most definitely not for sale. It's funny that the people posting these WTB seem to understand that quite clearly but you don't.

If you really want to buy a doll post a WTB like other members of the DOA community. It's very likely that an owner willing to sell will see it, so problem solved! Even polite pressuring is pressuring and that's why it's not allowed here. There are other forums where it may be okay to solicit sales from others. Not here.

Also, just because you (and three other mystery PMers) cannot imagine people hounding others does not mean it doesn't happen. That is very much head in the sand thinking.

 

I'd probably be a bit offended if someone PMed me about one of my dolls, unless perhaps they had been posting along with me in a thread where I mentioned thinking about rehoming that particular doll or thinking of selling that particular doll.

However, I am the type of person who does often send PMs to owners to say " I just wanted to let you know that I think your _____ is adorable, and I'd love if you'd post more pictures in the future!" I think those types of PMs are alright. Nothing remotely harassing about friendly chat over each other's dolls, right?

Actually, if someone sent me a PM like this, it might not offend me, but it would bother me. I guess I'm just one of those "bleeding-heart" types, but if I were to receive a PM like that I would feel horribly pressured into selling one of my dolls, even if I had no intention of selling it before. I'm from a cultural background where when one constantly says "I wish I had ____." or "___is nice, I wonder how I could get one." you are expected to either buy/sell/gift it to them. Because of this, such a PM would make me feel as though I should sell my doll, or even give it to them if they express a wish to own it but not the funds to buy it. I know that not everyone comes from a culture like this, but perhaps now you can see why some might find such a PM upsetting, even if they're being kind?

 

At the beginning of this year I bought a "surprise bag" from a doll company and when it arrived I mentioned in the discussion thread what was in my package. Within 24 hours I had a PM like that. It wasn't for a doll, but for a wig, but I didn't even get the chance to see if the wig would fit any of my dolls. I was not pleased to put it mildly.
When I'm going to sell something here on the MP I check WTB threads as that may help me sell my stuff faster. If I have something you'd like me to sell to you should I ever sell it: make a WTB thread. Who knows, someone else may respond and sell you what you want.

You may want something now, but how about next month or 6 months from now? Do you really want to bother someone who may sell something at a time you're no longer interested in it?

 

Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell? I think it's a bit rude. And there's no point in doing it because they probably won't sell it anyways. However asking what mold/who did the faceup/clothes company etc. is okay.
Would you as an owner report the person, or have your own way of dealing with it? I wouldn't report them. I'd be glad with their interest in my doll, but let them know I refuse to sell it. If they were being VERY persistant i'd report them. (But I dont get annoyed with that stuff to easily so it'd have to be an EXTREMELY persistant person haha)

 

I think sakuraharu put it well. The majority of us were able to get our dolls because of hard work and dedication. Not by asking someone if they will sell their own doll they worked hard to get. If you want to buy, make a thread, or search the marketplace. If you want one bad enough, one will turn up eventually. I would love to own some of the beautiful dolls that are on here, but I would never, ever ask. I buy the sculpt, and will create my own

 

Well Arkady you completely missed the point of what I was saying, AGAIN! The people that PM'd me said they are afraid to get into discussions like this because some people jump down your neck for thinking otherwise so why bother? Where in the world did you get "Spokes Person"???

And as far as hounding someone apparently the DoA rule of not asking does NOT apply to these morons who do hound and demand as rules or no they would do it anyway as normal people don't demand someone sell them a doll. And how can someone FORCE you to sell them something. If someone keeps asking BLOCK them.

I ask again, why is this thread here if you can not say it doesn't bother me to be asked. Of course no one likes crazies who do weird things but they are part of life so block them. Please tell me why this thread is here, PLEASE!

And Arkady, why such hostility toward me?? I KNOW it is against the rules, I do NOT want to be hounded and harassed, and these people are not lurkers they just have no desire to get a punch in the face for answering to the thread that asks if it is okay to be asked. The thread is not titled 'Is It Okay for Nuts to Stalk You For Your Dolls'?

And since when is 'lurking' something bad??? I look at the gallery ALL the time but my pictures stink so I don't post. I love the box opening thread but again, no pictures so I just look. I guess I too am a lurker , big deal.