Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Hmm! An interesting topic/debate. Personally, I have received several PMs written very politely, complimenting me on a particular doll that is no longer available. It was asked that if I ever wanted to part with that doll, would I consider letting them know? I did not find this offensive at all... I actually found it a bit flattering that my doll and her or his presentation was interesting enough to someone to 'brave' it to ask about it ever being for sale.
As I have never been hounded or treated rudely on DOA, I did not take these PMs as being irritating or invasive. JMO

 

Yeahhhh Puffin463!

 

Hell to the no, if they don't have it up for sale, NO.

 

Agreed. Like I said before in this thread; there's a difference between asking and houding. I don't mind a polite PM, I'd be flattered even. I would mind being harrassed, but wouldn't we all?

I think this discussion has placed too much emphasis on the agressive side of this topic and not enough on the 'normal' way to approach a person. It feels like throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

 

Wouldn't it be more sane to ask what type the doll was, who did the face up, and where the person might find one of their own, or if it's a limited edition, one very similar? I've seen this mentioned on other boards, but isn't that the same as asking someone if they would sell you their pet or their car or their kids?


Edit: I'm so sorry I expressed myself in a way offensive to anyone in this post . Please forgive me, I was merely saying I felt at the moment.

 

But people DO sell their dolls, not exactly like kids or pets.

 

I have NEVER seen a kid for sale Not really a good comparision IMO. I have a friend with and old Harley and he is ask constantly if he wants to sell, he LOVES the attention. I have a car my kids use in my driveway, 15 years old and it looks abandoned, we get at least one knock a week asking us if we would like to sell it or have it towed. Kids, pets, living creaters not quite the same.

 

Okay without reference to pets, children, and cars, I think it's better to ask about what type and where to get one, rather than the people who 'really bother someone rudely' about selling their doll.

 

I dont really find it offensive, This has only happened to me once so far but as long as the person if very polite I see nothing wrong with a simple "if you ever decide to put them up for adoption my doors are always open!" kind of thing. It might make me feel more secure even, like if it doesnt work out they have someone who loves them and would give them a good home. There have been several cases where I actually wish I would have asked the owner about a specific doll. Numerous times I find myself admiring a certain doll quietly from afar only to see them being parted out or sold on the mp later. Its always a little heartbreaking because I was getting attached to them and have terrible mp luck

as far as the 'normal people dont ask to buy your stuff' argument... we have people knock on our door and ask if we would sell our cars all the time. Ive also had people volunteer to adopt our pets if they ever needed homes because they got attached... its the same principle in my mind, i just see it as an option if i ever needed to go that route

 

So...I just have to add...
I've actually seen a little girl put her brother up for sale. I'm honestly not kidding on this. Little girl was selling lemonade in my neighborhood when I was younger and had a sign next to it that said "Brother for sale" She was really just asking for trouble there. >.< (Though, surely she must have been joking)

And as for pets...no some people don't sell them they just give them away to a shelter when they don't want them anymore...I don't think you can hold a living breathing thing in the same category as a doll or a car though (not intending to insult anyone with this I cherish my dolls dearly)...also there are people who make it their jobs to go around asking random people if they'd want to sell their stuff..old cars and such. It's usually just to make profit of their own.

Saying that I still think it's very rude. I guess if it's written correctly by the person it wouldn't be so rude..And I'm sure someone's said it multiple times but I'll say it again...against the rules...It might be just me but I am very uncomfortable inquiring anyone about something they have up for trade let alone even PMing someone out of the blue just to ask if I can buy a doll they didn't have up for sale and probably wouldn't want to sell.

On the other hand. I almost think PMing someone about what kind of sculpt the doll was, who the artist that did the face up and such and then perhaps showing up in a couple of months with that same sculpt painted up the same way is even ruder.

I guess it's always nice and flattering but I think it's also a very fine line.

 

I have a gorgeous dog, and several strangers have walked up to me and asked if I would sell her. I also have had people ask to buy the VW sitting in my driveway, as well. Big difference in my reaction. The dog is a family member to me, the car is... a car. My dolls are much more like my dog than my car.

 

i don't see anything wrong with it, if you are polite. but i wouldn't ever ask anyone if something was for sale myself. i might enquire about where to purchase one of my own.

 

ANYONE who would ask to buy someones pet should NOT own a pet, they apperantly don't get it! And the girl selling the brother is a riot, I would gladly have sold my little sister when I was a kid but no one would have taken her! I do though have 4 boys and the 10 year old will soon be looking for a new home if he touches the 7 year old again

 

My initial opinion was that pm inquiries are not so bad if they're polite, but after reading through this thread I found myself also sympathizing with those who oppose. Dolls are not "possessions" the same way you own a car etc. but rather friends and family with their own personalities and histories. I personally might not be offended if someone nicely pm'd me, but I can understand people who would find it unwelcome.

And at the same time, being in love with a older limited edition sculpt, I understand why some people would contact doll owners directly in their desperation. Imho, both sides act from love or adoration, but the conduct may at times be hurtful to both parties. After reading this thread I feel that the DoA rule against the pm's is well placed.

 

I wouldn't be even remotely offended as long as the inquiry was polite. I would just tell the person "No, but I'll let you know if I decide to sell him/her" and then jot their DoA name down somewhere in case I did decide to sell the doll later. In that case, I would contact them after posting a sales thread on the MP to let them know the doll was available. However, I would never ask someone else to sell their doll because I know some people do get offended, plus it would be awkward and against the rules.

 

I wouldn't mind if people asked me politely. A simply reply of, "Sorry, my doll is not for sale," wouldn't exactly be a HUGE sacrifice of my time. IMHO I think it's a bit silly for people to be offended. So long as the person asking is kind and not rude.

That being said, I would be afraid to ask someone else simply because I don't know how they would react.

 

Once I had someone contact me with questions regarding a doll I had (about how well it poses and what clothes fit, not asking me if I would sell it). She mentioned she adored the (mold of the) doll and wanted one herself. I mentioned that I wasn't certain about keeping the doll and asked if she wanted me to contact her if I would ever decide to sell the doll. She said she would be very happy if I would, but when I contacted her after a few months things had changed and she could not afford buying a doll.

That's why I find the "if you ever think of selling the doll, think of me" MPs kind of annoying. You don't know for sure if you're going to have money to buy something in 2, 3, 4 months or longer from now or perhaps your taste/ wish list has changed by then.

 

I think its a bit iffy, I mean usually most of us put the mold name and company name in our sigs or on our profile so if someone does like them they can go find one themselves... I've had various people ask for one of my rarer fashion dolls which I'd never sell and I find it rude because I've stated I'd never sell them on my pictures various times ^^;
So no I don't think its really acceptable, you can be as nice as you want but unless something says 'for sale' I don't think its polite to do so, as said before we grow emotional attachment to dolls, it's like selling a 'part of you' so to speak.
Asking where you got the doll or where to find one is perfectly fine though.

 

I always thought I'd be ok with it, but I just got a message of this exact nature and it really irked me. I think it was the tone more than anything.

The gist of it is that I own a male hybrid of a doll that is sold as female-only, and the head isn't available separetly. It is not a limited sculpt, just a female-only from the company.

The seller basically said hi, sorry to bother you, but I really want a male hybrid like what you have, but the whole doll female is so expensive, plus the extra cost of the male body, so I was wondering if you would be willing to sell me just the head. It was also implied they were contacting owners of this particular head en masse via PM, hoping to get lucky.

I find that incredibly tacky. Both the "will you sell me your partial item because I can't afford my own full item" part and the "I'm contacting a lot of owners and hoping I get lucky" part. Which shows they weren't even interested in my doll specifically, just a cheap head.

If you're actually going to PM someone, at least try not to make it sound like a mass solicitation campaign, which I'm pretty sure is against the rules anyway.


EDIT:
I would've taken this message a lot better if it wasn't so impersonal. If you are going to PM an owner, at least go through the effort to make it sound as though there is something about their specific doll that you cherish, and that you're not just after an affordable piece of resin.

This particular doll is one that is very dear to me, and the 2nd doll I ever bought...back when I was still unsure of if this hobby was one for me, and he and I have suffered through a lot together. I am rather impersonal towards some of my dolls, but this particular one...well, he's special. And if you're going to ask someone for a doll that's not listed for sale, you had better present yourself as though you're asking for the most precious thing they own, because that's how some people in the hobby regard their dolls.

The impersonal approach of just looking for a head to buy really set me off. I would have reacted completely differently if the message had been more personal, and had something to do with my boy specifically, whether it be his look, his character or whatever.

But, as it stands, that kind of blatant, impersonal solicitation really staggers me.

 

I know I'm new to BJDs but that sounds rude either way. If you wanted to sell the doll, you'd post it for sale, right?