Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

Juno101, while it may not be a big deal to you if someone sends you a PM letting you know they're interested in purchasing your doll, it is a big deal to others.

Den of Angels is a community where members should feel free to share pictures and information about their dolls, it is not, and never will be, a brochure where people can browse for the dolls they like and then put in an offer for them via PM. That is what the Marketplace is for and is one of the reasons why the Marketplace is kept seperate from the rest of the forum. Sharing pictures of your doll in the Gallery should be enjoyable, no one should have to worry that if they put a picture up of their beloved rare or unusual doll someone will come along and make an unsolicited offer for that doll.

Members should also refrain from making personal comments about others or deliberately targeting others, otherwise this thread will be locked. Debates are about the topic, not about the people involved in the debate.

 

I am agree with this. Sometimes it is not a bad thing, they are persons who saw a doll and feel in love with it, we have to see wich is the tone used in the PM. But of course the most important thing is to take precautions.

 

Well let me start out by saying I do know that it is a BIG DEAL to some members as is apparent by the every increasing exaggerations going on in this thread but it is also NOT a big deal to some of us thus we have this tread.

Secondly, I have never trolled nor browsed the forum like a brochure looking for dolls to 'Buy'. I am sure there are people who do this and regardless of any rule in place will come right out and ask to buy someones doll anyway. This happens in society with all sorts of things, from the 10 Items or Less line to the running a red light because they are in a hurry. The rules do not apply to them and never will. Anyone who would worry about getting an unsolicited PM about selling their doll so feel reluctant to post pictures seems like a very strange thing to worry about, but after reading through this thread there seems to be people who really do worry about that????

As far as "Members should also refrain from making personal comments about others or deliberately targeting others, otherwise this thread will be locked. Debates are about the topic, not about the people involved in the debate."

My name has been used by a few people in a very condescending manner, it does NOT bother me. It does however bother me that you have singled me out. When I have used someones name it is directed atthem because the same battle cry rings out 'IT IS AGAINST DoA RULES'. It grows tiresome as by now I can only hope everyone posting here knows that fact. If they don't IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.


It still seems odd that this thread has NOT been locked as we are discussing something NOT allowed on DoA. It is like talking about why the MOD's don't allow Blythe or Barbie on the forum??? Why even talk about it? I think for me the answer is it is fun to see the different takes on something I find so nominal. We are not talking politics or religion for goodness sake.

It does not offend me in the least to be asked about possible purchase of my dolls but since it is not allowed I will send the matter to a MOD to take care of the scoundrel that asks.

Having said all that this thread makes my morning

 

I have recently had a PM from someone obviously messaging pretty much everybody who owns a certain doll. I reported them for their very rude approach, asking me to not just sell them my doll, but JUST THE HEAD.
I dont mind if I have been messaging this person and they got an idea I was going to sell my doll, or that I knew they loved my doll, I wouldnt even mind if it was worded better or saying something like 'I love your doll.... If you ever ever think about selling them please give me message' but a message so generic saying 'Im asking everyone who owns the sculpt to sell me their dolls head'...thats rude. Its like someone walking into my house and pointing at something I own and saying 'Ill give you so much for that'.

 

I had almost the exact same PM a few days ago (as mentioned on this thread's previous page), and it irked me for all the same reasons you mention. Looking at your doll list, I'm certain it was from the same member. *Sigh* Some people.

 

Boy oh boy, some people. They just never seem to get it

 

never mind

 

Personally, I think it's rude when someone pm's an owner, "Hey, I want to buy your doll. I'll pay $X amount for him/her" (someone even pm'd a friend of mine that she had to keep the face-up on the doll!) or anything along those lines.

now, if someone says, "oh i love your doll! if you sell, i'll definitely be interested!" That's different.

 

Speaking for myself only, I wouldn't be upset or otherwise offended if I was contacted about selling one of my dolls, provided it was done politely and without any offense or drama once I refused (because I would refuse). It would actually be quite flattering that someone liked my doll enough to do that. Of course, if the person was rude or belligerent, I would be offended by the behavior, not the question itself.

Having said that, I would never approach a doll owner with a proposition to buy their doll unless I knew that the doll was for sale. I would express admiration for the doll, sure, but leave it at that. I figure if the owner had an idea to part with the doll, she/he would make that known in some way - either by listing the doll in the Marketplace, or replying with "I am actually thinking of selling her, are you interested?", etc.

This example doesn't relate to dolls, but I had someone ask me once if I would be willing to sell my cat to them. Of course, I said no. I suppose the person thought there was no harm in asking

 

I do think that PMing about someone's doll when they've expressed no interest in selling it is flatout rude and distasteful. Dolls can be very personal things for their owners. I've dealt with that sort of request when I collected rare doujinshi and it always made me uncomfortable, and doujinshi isn't exactly something one bonds with the way you do a doll.

I personally find that the sexual harassment comment was pushing a line a bit (I did read the rest of the thread to make sure I understood that it was the intent, though it was still something uncomfortable for me given my experiences ^^; ). However, it does show that dolls can be very personal for people, so asking them to sell a doll that they've bonded with is crossing very personal lines for some.

 

I don't think it is okay, if they didnt put it up for sale then they obv love it and want to keep it :P

 

I've answered this thread already, but I have a similar question: If someone sends a PM stating something like, "I really admire your xxx doll and I can't wait to see more pictures of him/her! Also, I would love to know if you ever create an MP listing for him/her", is it still offensive/against the rules? I've never PMed an owner like this and I'd probably be too shy to, but I have admired certain owner's dolls and then later noticed that they were sold on the MP to someone else before I realize the doll was for sale. I know that what I typed in quotations sounded terribly awkward, though, so maybe it would still be offensive to some. Anyway, I'm curious to see what others think.

 

I feel rather on the fence on this...
I find it to be a little offputting and rude but also I see it like, "Wow, they must really like your doll to send you a PM making an offer."
I guess I just see it as being kind of tacky... but not exactly the worst thing in the world if that makes sense?

 

I wouldn't say it's rude, more... presumptuous. While it's not offensive I don't think many people would really keep a list of people who'd asked to be notified should they sell a doll, especially if that comes a long way down the line. I know that personally speaking I have a memory like a sieve so I'd never remember anyway unless I happened to put the doll up for sale the very next day.

 

I don't think I would be offended, unless the person put a value on the doll by mentioning X number of dollars. Once they mention a specific dollar amount, it feels like they're decideding the value of the doll and that means they can't possibley be including any sentimental value, because they don't know how attached the owner is to that doll.
I can understand the thinking behind someone doing it. There was a doll that I loved, it wasn't limited or anything it actually happened to be damaged, but I thought it was all the more beautiful for it. I never pm'd the owner about it, and they never gave any clue that they might be selling the doll before annoucing that it had already happened. I did feel a little sad knowing that I had missed her, but if I could go back and change it I still don't think I would have pm'd the owner.
When it comes down to it, I think that the rule is in place for a good reason. It would be far too easy for things to spiral out of control and for the entire site to become a shopping mall without it. I don't think anyone would be after me for my dolls, but I would definatly feel for the owners of popular or limited dolls, without the rule I could see them becoming afraid to put pictures of their dolls in the gallery because they would be bombarded with "sell me your doll" requests.

 

I would never dream to ask of someone for their doll as I know I would not like the same to be done with me. If they wanted to sell their doll, they would do so I think it's awfully rude to PM someone, asking them to sell their doll.

 

I would be mega offended. OTL I don't even have my doll yet, but he is meant to represent a character that means a lot to me. I almost feel like if I were not able to take care of him anymore or can't have him around for some odd reason, giving him away seems more appropriate than selling him. I would rather eat the loss of money. But...this is just me personally.

 

I wouldn't be really OFFENDED, but I'd certainly be a little annoyed that they'd been so presumptuous. And certainly I'd never dream of doing something like that. But you can put a positive light on it: for example, once some people left a note on our door saying they wanted to buy our house when we weren't even THINKING of selling it. I was really annoyed (I'm super territorial, lol) and I thought they were being extremely cheeky, but my mum just laughed and said to take it as a compliment- it meant they liked our house/garden (which we've worked hard on) and we should be flattered that they liked it so much that they left us a note asking if they could buy it. Now, I don't feel that way, and I still can't believe the nerve of those people, but if someone does PM you and asks this, it could help to just think of it as a compliment- they obviously really like your doll.

Now, to the people who might want to send one of these messages, a more tactful way to approach the situation would be to PM them and say "I saw the pictures you posted of [Doll X] and s/he's gorgeous! You're so lucky to have found him/her- I've been admiring this sculpt for ages but I can never find it. So I was wondering if you'd share where you got him/her from- if you don't mind, of course!" ...or something to that effect. Then you can have a chance at getting the doll you want and you can compliment the person whose doll you like so much without offending them (or breaking DoA's rules).

 

I would be more annoyed than offended. I don't personally find it 'insulting'...I guess it's really closer to flattery than insult...but I would find it annoying because it would be putting me in an awkward, uncomfortable situation in which I have to politely turn somebody down for something they really shouldn't have asked. It's like somebody coming to your house and going "Mmmm nice lamp, how much can I buy it for?" IT'S MY LAMP!!

 

A note after reading a lot of the other posts: I definitely think it depends on the person. After discussing it with my dad, I realized it's entirely personal opinion based on how people view their dolls. For some people, it's no big deal, and for some people, it DOES feel like someone's asking to buy their child, and who are we to rip into others for how they feel on a particular subject? DoA rules aside, I think it's polite not to do this, not because you're afraid of offending somebody (chances are everything on the internet will offend SOMEBODY), but because it's common courtesy to consider that while it may not be a big deal for you, they may feel quite different.

Bah, I'm babbling. Sorry. D: