Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I think it can be done in a polite and flattering way that doesn't offend the owner. I have been asked about particular dolls on other boards, and I may not have been considering selling my dolls until someone mentioned it. But the approach was as stated a few posts ago, where there inquirer simply said that if I ever thought about selling my doll please keep them in mind. And I did. Sometimes it works out for both parties. However, I can see where it could be rude and inappropriate. Especially if that person is hitting everyone else up on the board with the same offer. I previously posted on a board that I loved someone's photo and how I wish I could own the same doll someday. I wasnt asking anything, and it was a simple statement. The owner of the doll emailed me privately and said that she would sell me the doll if i was interested. She now sits on a shelf in my doll room. So I say it really depends on how it is done.
Just my humble opinion.
Cheers

 

I dont think i would be offended if asked politely, but i understand that it could be bothersome to get all thous PMs, especially if you have a really popular doll and get them all the time....
I would only contact an owner, if they mentioned selling it. ( not in here thou, because its against the rules)

 

I think the first type of message, saying if you ever decided you wanted to sell the doll, isn't that bad although I'd never do that myself, but the one where they're blatantly asking to buy it isn't very nice :/

And then there's that point with the rules. xD

 

Hmm, so strange, if you want a doll, isn't a WTB thread the way to go, rather than virtually following people around, harrassing them? If they're posting pictures and the like, that's a multi-step process that they're going through, I'd be more inclined to think 'that person's involved with her doll and isn't going to be selling anytime soon' than anything else.

A WTB thread will, unless it's truly a OOAK doll, get you where you want to be, as it's 1) in the MP, where everyone goes who wants to take part in a transaction and b) come to the attention publicly of everyone who may own that doll, and be willing to sell it to you legitimately, with all the protections of what is essentially an up-front transaction. It's like the equivalent of posting on a public bulletin board in the town square versus running around putting messages in people's mailboxes asking for their property...but usually a WTB thread works quite well if you bump it regularly.

.hlp

 

I'd definitely consider it rude, but not necessarily unethical (aside from the fact that it's against the rules). A lot of it depends on the wording, I guess.

 

It's rude, it's like walking into someone's house pulling out your wallet and asking how much for their lamp. The reason we have a marketplace is to communicate who is willing to buy and sell. It's one thing to say to an owner, what a beautiful doll, I would love to have a doll like that. It's a completely different thing to ask how much for it.

 

Wow that would be rather rude, and personally I'd feel very offended if someone asked me that even if it was for something that wasn't BJD-related. I guess it would kind of be like a more "ethical" way of stealing, because I see it as they are trying to steal a part of you, what ever it maybe the doll is still a precious part of one's being because it's essentially a character of your own creation.

 

I feel like it's pretty rude to offer to buy someone's doll (when they're not selling it). I don't think it violates ethics, but it is improper etiquette.

I could see it being flattering, or even possibly enticing (if they're offering A LOT of money: "i'd love to pay you $10000 for your SD17" (as if lol)..but yeah I probably wouldn't appreciate it unless it was something as extravagant as that.

 

No. Definately not okay. If that person isn't selling their doll you don't ask. That's like asking someone if they'll sell you a pet or the coat they're wearing. Its just rude.

 

I thought it was against the rules to do that :/ i've seen dolls i've wanted to ask about but i didn't want to get banned, there is a Breccia on this forum I want so bad! lol

 

Obvoiusly there is a rule against this problem as stated previously in this thread but I'm a little torn about this situation.

See, I'm also in a group called Ravelry, it's for crafters, knitters etc. and one of the meny things you can do is list your stash, magazines, books etc. Over the last few months and since I've taken the time to list my yarns I've had multiple requests from people both for items in my trade/sell section and items just in my general stash. Now I know yarn even expensive yarn isn't anything like the cost of your average BJD but I'm not averse to people asking, I might not say yes but the whole thing is very civilised and I have made some extra cash for basically doing nothing.

I recently sold an expensive spinning wheel this way too selling to a local person who could hand me cash avoiding ebay charges, paypal fees, anonymous transactions and actually getting to meet the person who was buying.

However, this is a totally different group and there are rules which would not allow it. If the situation ever came up (I'm yet to meet my first doll), I would politely remind them that such messages were against the rules and ask them not to post again. It might just be ignorance and I wouldn't condemn tham for that.

 

I'm pretty against it, but there's a clear difference between your two examples. You don't ask people if they want to sell something when they haven't even hinted about it; that's just plain rude, and goes against all my views of politeness.

However, in the first example of yours, they're just hinting that they want the doll, and they're basically just saying "I'm not asking you to sell your doll to me, and I won't pursue it, however, on the off-chance you ever want to get rid of it, please contact me first." THAT, is an entirely different matter from asking you to sell your doll, because they're not actually asking you to sell it, but saying that if you SHOULD ever sell it, they would want to get first in line. And I do think that's a very okay thing to do, because I, at least, would feel flattered that someone liked my doll that much. However, I'd never do it myself.

So, from my point of view, it all depends on how people "ask".

 

I agree with this.
If somebody PM'd me saying "Can I buy your doll?" the answer would be lol, no.
If somebody PM'd me saying "If you ever decide to sell _______, I would be interested in purchasing/trading for them and blah blah blah" I would definitely at least politely say no or yes.

It really does depend on how they ask. :P

 

This has happened to me, not on this board, but on another. I used to collect a type of OOAK fashion BJDs. I would regularly get emails from complete strangers asking me if I wanted to sell my dolls to ask them first. It did depend on the tone of the messages, but I never liked the emails.

I would always send a polite response back to the sender. Unless I specifically post a doll for sale, I would rather not have offers out of the blue emailed to me.

 

It does indeed! If they asked to buy, I'd say no at once, like you, and if they, like, "wished for it" ("If you ever should decide to sell, they would get a good home with me" and the like) I think I'd say "I'll remember it and contact you if I ever decide to sell it" XP

 

go ahead and ask, they can always say no.

 

Yes, they can always say no, and they can also report you for violating the rules of this forum. Which might get you banned, btw.

 

I hear this argument a lot, but what about those who ask on deviantart and such? <.<

 

I think, it has been mentioned many times in this thread that it is against the rules. But, we can still discuss the theory behind doing so, as it would be applicable to venues that do not have such a rule in place, as sahoma points out.

 

Why are we actually still discussing this topic when it's clearly against the rules to PM someone about selling their doll when they had no intention to sell?