Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I agree with this. It would be helpful, actually, if I ever needed to make a quick sale or something, I could just contact that person. Obviously, if I had a doll I had no intention of selling and someone PMed me every week to bother me about selling it, that's not okay. But especially if it was one of my limited dolls that someone really wanted, if they sent me a message saying hey, I really love this doll and can't find any for sale so if you ever want to sell it, please contact me, I'd be totally fine with that, even if it were a doll I don't intend to sell. There's no harm in asking as long as you're polite and respectful to the owner, and aren't all "OMG i luv this doll please sell it to me please please i have to have this doll gimme!"

 

I have seen owners with posts saying they have no intention of selling their dolls and to please not ask. In that case I think it'd be tactless to ask when the owner has expressly stated their feelings. Otherwise, I don't think someone can guess whether or not you'd be interested in selling your doll, and there's no reason, for me, to get upset over it. After all, you see many people putting up box opening pictures or posting in the Gallery pictures of a doll only to put it up for sale in a month or so. I've seen owners who say they love their new doll only to put it up for sell within a week (This is not a criticism, just an observation). For someone who's seen such behavior I don't think it's unreasonable to put up a polite query for a doll that you really want and can't get anywhere else.​

 

I definitely agree with this aspect.

Prior to getting into BJDs, I collected OOAK 2D art. I knew a lot of other collectors who got really irritable when people asked them about selling items in their collection, but I never really minded, even if it was for things I didn't plan to sell. I just politely told people I wasn't planning on it, but I kept a text file with all the names & offers, just in case. One fellow was really interested in a couple pieces I had and sent me a polite e-mail once every year to check in. It didn't bother me at all.

In fact, although it took seven years, I eventually decided to let those pieces go due to having taken interest in a new, expensive hobby. (*coughBJDscough*) It took me one e-mail to him and I was able to raise enough money to purchase a "grail" doll from the MP, and he got the art he wanted. It was pretty win-win. For me, that one experience totally reinforced my original impression - that so long as they aren't impolite or pushy about it, there's no reason to get upset about someone expressing interest.

 

The post I was referring to, from someone who is obviously new to the forum (19 whole posts!), was that there is no harm in asking. But on this forum (where we are discussing this issue) there is harm in asking.

 

Here is a intresting twist I had this happen some time ago but still. A person pm me about buying a doll they had because the model was on my doll wish list. I had no WTB up for it and there for of course said no but they pm'd agin and was like are you sure its on your list. Just cause its on my list does not mean I have the funds for it. Iono just seems like a intresting twist on pm a owner or in this case a possible buyer.

 

I don't think it's okay to PM an owner about a doll that they're not intending to sell. It's possible that the person may be thinking of selling the doll for some reason and just hadn't quite decided or gotten around to it... but there's a much greater chance that you're just going to annoy someone. If the person wants to sell, they'll put the doll on the marketplace. Putting up a WTB thread should accomplish your goals as well.

People also get really attached to their dolls, so while it's not like someone walking up to you and asking to buy your dog (since the dog is living), it could be similar. Even if asked politely it could be awkward. This summer I was wearing a necklace that is very special to me, and a woman came up to me in a store and said it was pretty (which was fine), asked me about it (still fine), and then wandered off. A few minutes later she was back dropping hints that she wanted it, and she was polite and not super direct and it was still really uncomfortable. :P

It might not be terrible to pm an owner and compliment the doll and say that if the person was ever wanting to sell that you'd be interested, but it's still possible that you'll offend the person anyway. Personally I wouldn't do that, I'd just watch the marketplace for the doll I was wanting.

Plus as was mentioned in a previous post, if the person is posting pictures in the gallery or whatnot, the person is actively playing with the doll and that would tell me that they're probably not thinking of selling at that time.

 

I think it's a very foolish thing. Especially if it's a doll very close to the owner, which is all my dolls. Even if the person is new they should have enough common sense, but sadly some just don't. :\ If I got asked if I would sell one I probably wouldn't be so nice about it; people really should know better.

 

well with so many other hobbies its much more common, methinks because there's much less of an emotional connection but still

 

It depends on how it is phrased, i bought an item for one of my other collections, and on that forum i had people pming me left and right....it was, just insane. I have no intention of selling nor will i ever. Now one was a friend of mine, who mainly expressed jealousy that i got it, and that if i ever WANTED to sell, she woudl love it. That was fine, but some of the other "vultures" were alot more rude. Don't offer me money in a pm. if you want something of mine, money isn't what I want. Mney, isn;t my interest. I like.... giving the unexpected. I could easily see myself selling a fullset doll, that i am not attached to, for whatever that person had at the time, be it 20.00 or full price. In short it's not money that interests me, but what you are willing to give. IF someone has, 20.00 in their account.. that's ALL they have, if they are willing to give, everything they have, possibly eating ramen for a week until their next check, or someone who has been saving for a long time, putting away any spare penny they have.. those people.. get what i have. becuase those people, want it more. In my view they are more likely, to take care of, and truly love, what i am giving them.

 

Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell? Absolutely not! It's one thing to PM a person and give a compliment on their doll, or as many have already said, offer to buy the doll should the owner ever want to sell in the future. It's quite another to offer money to buy it now! It would make me uncomfortable if such an offer was given me, because it goes beyond admiration to flat out covetousness. A big no-no to me. But then, I think that it is also covetous behaviour to bring up the idea to the doll owner that you want their doll, even if you don't offer them money to immediately buy it now. WTB threads seem a much better and ethically acceptable way to go.

Would you as an owner report the person, or have your own way of dealing with it? Well, given that this behavior is banned by DoA, I would feel the need to report it.

 

Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?
I'm not sure. They may ask it, but I won't sell them. I may call it a compliment, but it can be annoying if you are pretty popular on the forum and everyone asks you to buy your dolls. o.o
For me, it wouldn't be a problem, but I wouldn't ask another owner to buy her/his dolls.


Would you as an owner report the person, or have your own way of dealing with it?
Nope, I'll just answer that I won't sell my dolls. End of conversation.

 

I would never ask an owner myself if they'd sell me a doll they have no interest in selling.
If someone asked me about one of my dolls, I would be flattered (it just means they love and adore my dolls as much as I do), and I wouldn't turn them in or anything for that. I would just politely decline and say that at the moment I am not interested in selling but in the future if I am, then they would be the first person I contacted.
If it was someone who didn't know how to take no for an answer and continued to bug me about it day after day, then I might say something to a mod...because then it's just rude.

I actually had someone who I only knew for a month or two ask me face-to-face if I could give her one of my dolls (not offer to buy, just give one to her) and I didn't know what to do. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and thought that her doing that was rude because I love my dolls otherwise I wouldn't have them. So I didn't know what to say to her. I just kinda brushed it off and said "haha, well we'll see." But...that is tacky in my mind and ten times worse than pming someone to ask about buying their doll.

 

That I can agree on! I mean, it's the personal attachment of course, but there's also a lot of money involved. I know, that sounds kinda material, but I mean, you do not ask a person to give you hundreds of dollars in cash either, or just any money in general, except if you're in dire need, and it's practically the same. I would be much more uncomfortable with that, too, than if anyone asked to buy something from me.

 

Ehh I'd find it rude if someone just... up and asks out of the blue. Kinda tasteless... tacky... yeah, all that. I honestly can't understand what would possess a person to just up and ask someone if they'd sell their doll to them... but then again, I can't understand a lot of things humans do nowadays.

 

I am not sure...I may find it odd but I know that most people know that the worst thing you can say is no. I personally would never ask anyone that did not have a sale ad already out, but I wouldn't be upset if someone asked me.

 

I wouldn't have a problem if someone did this to me. It's not like they are asking me to sell them my pet or my child I consider my dolls as art/designer toys and as such, it wouldn't bother me if someone coveted something in my collection. And like others have said, it would be useful to have a contact to go to if I eventually wanted to sell.

On the other hand, it is unlikely I would approach someone myself as from this thread alone I know how touchy BJD owners can be...

 

Sixty-one pages of discussion and 4 years later, I can't believe we're still beating this dead horse. So fine, I'll add my 2 cents.

I would not approach a stranger without preamble about buying their doll, no matter how much I admired it. I have tentatively offered to buy dolls from acquaintances after they've voiced a desire to sell. Nothing has come of my offers to date, but I'm pretty sure the dolls haven't been sold either.

 

in my experience... I have one, want she sold my dress (it is Crystal Kitten prefered) for a pity, price... i have said : "no thank you" because i love my dress...

Few months later she ask to me again about this dress... i have said : i have already reply and said "no"...

And she reply to me can you sold me so your other dress Crystal Kitten Oo ! this dress too, is in my top 3 that i love Oo !

I know it is not a doll but i love so much my personnal own dress for my doll... and insist like that... Oo !! I think, there is no respect about me...

I know she want certainly thoses dress for less real value THAN i paid (i have try to doing bisness with this person...)

i can understand that you can try your luck but please not insist and not for a less value...

 

I don't think it's in good taste although I have emailed a person to compliment them on their treasure and let them know I would be interested if they ever sold it, I would'nt offer them any certain amount for it. No it wasn't on here. lol
Linda

 

It is a little hard to consider the ethics since it has been decided that the rules are against it.
If that rule was not there, I could see possibly being tempted to offer myself in a "God-parent" sort of way. But considering God-parents step in when parents die...0_o? Maybe not a good comparison.

I've had an antique shop in the past, so I don't think I would have a problem with a simple no thanks, to an offer on one of my dolls. I don't feel the strong ethical issue that some have described here. I'm glad to have a chance to read how it hits other people in a negative way.

A persistent appeal to buy, after being told - no - would get a less gentle response from me. I clearly see that as pushy and rude.

Currently I am facing the decision to put some of my dolls on the market. In this situation, an offer might spare me from making this choice between my dolls. Some I have a strong bond, so it is easy to remove them from consideration, but after that...knowing someone would be made happy to get a particular one of my dolls could be helpful to me.