Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I actually did not know that it was against the rules, either. I do hate it that some people have been bothered enough by by this to stop posting pictures of their dolls. I really enjoy seeing photos of others' dolls, even if they are not a doll I would necessarily want to own.

Even though I did not know it was against the rules, I would hesitate to send a stranger a pm just outright asking if their doll was for sale. I did, however, send a pm to someone on another board expressing admiration for a doll they had posted. I knew they often posted pictures of a doll and then sold it later. I got a very sweet reply back thanking me for the compliment and saying to please let anyone who might be interested know that the doll would be put up for sale. At that point I did feel comfortable asking about buying the doll and was thrilled that I was able to do so.

Also, I think it is important to remember that DOA has members from many different countries. What is rude to a person from one country might be seen as perfectly acceptable to someone from another. I think if you are going to participate in a public forum you may run into some situations that make you uncomfortable and you have to decide if the benefits of participating outweigh that risk.

 

I don't think it should be acceptable for anyone to do but I personally wouldn't do it or want someone to do it to me.. All I can relate it to is someone walking off the street and asking to buy your house.

If I like a doll I might just message them and ask what doll it is and compliment.

 

Well .. I never posted on DoA asking someone if her doll was on sale or anything but in some other website, I've asked politely if the doll in this particular photo is ever gonna be rehomed, I want it. I only would ask the person if A. I am looking for the doll B. Doll is limited C. Owner seem to be downsizing their dolly family so I would ask if I can be interested in another doll of theirs'. Other than that, I find it annoying if a girl direct me and ask me what is the price for this or that ?

I don't like it and I got some questions like that. I don't though mind the other flattering questions! I think it is a matter of manner because if you ask politely, it is ok. I don't mind people asking me if the doll is on sale, as sometimes, I happen to be in trouble and in need to sell a doll so knowing so, I might decide to go for it or not. Of course, I will never sell a doll unless I am happy with the price they offer.

I hate when someone directly ask you for a doll then you discover they offer something insanely low or impossible to be accepted. I really get annoyed by these much much. Like a person wanted to buy my AE doll with 2 heads for $100 .. O-o;;; ... Gosh! I paid around $400+ on that doll ! As I can't even request it on MOC and $100 .. srsly !

 

I can understand why it's not acceptable and I myself have never asked someone if they are selling their doll. that's what WTB threads are for, though Yes I have been asked about certain dolls I have owned if they were going to be for sale, I have always found it to be complimentary especially if they ask something like if you ever rehome your ( whichever doll it is) might I be on your contact list. but I do get taken aback when they just assume I will sell a doll and offer me a price for it and say nothing more.

 

Uhm it would depend on how they approached me. I had someone make me an offer via flickr and I was flattered. I wouldn't report them.

 

I had seen countless gorgeous photos of other people's BJDs but I would never ask to sell them. Instead, I would ask them where they had got that doll and buy a same doll from that company. (Most of the time it's not neccessary because people states on their photo or blog about the information of the dolls they have.) If I like the clothing, I might ask where they had bought it but I wouldn't tell them to sell it. You can always mimic the appearance.

 

Hng....I think it's fine with me, coz that means my dolls are attracting enough for others. I can understand the feeling if you see a doll you're long for and he/she is out off stock forever, anyway.
But I don't think that works to ask in most occasion.....and maybe some people, I suppose, will feel like being offended? (that's my personal hypothesis)

 

I have to change my answer from the previous time I posted in here when I said it was rude and against ToS but that I probably would just find it flattering...

I do think it's incredibly rude to PM a stranger you hardly know asking them to sell your doll. I've even had people (not on DoA) leave comments on my dolls asking me to put them on a waiting list if I sold them. It was out of the blue and really odd to me. I've also had this happen on sales threads where I'm not even selling the doll in question! It's really upsetting for someone I don't know to think I'm going to sell them my doll when I've made no mention of it.

I think the worst was having someone message me on flickr asking me to let them buy my Chloe because they couldn't afford a brand new one. My girl has an Andreja face-up and I worked so hard to get her. It was mind-boggling and I was actually really upset about it, but I still remained polite. Still... I can't believe people do this.

The only time I've thought it was okay was when a friend of mine has mentioned that should I ever HAPPEN to sell a doll to let them know first in case they want to buy it. I've even done the same with good friends. That probably wouldn't bother me from a stranger, either, but to have an offer made on my doll that I'm not selling or someone mentioning wanting to buy it outright is unsettling and makes me feel like just because I have a high turn-over rate means I'll sell all of my dolls at some point when in truth I'm searching for my permanent collection [2 down, 2 to go.]

 

Under conditions it would be ok to me, like if you made it public that you were downsizing your collection, or you mentioned the doll in question wasn't clicking with you, I guess? Other than that it would be rude to me (although still flattering in a way).

 

You know, somebody on DeviantArt actually did that to me. They sent me a PM about my Resinsoul Li, telling me that they had 95 dollars set aside to buy her and provided shipping info. I kindly said "No, sorry, she isn't for sale and I don't plan on selling her in the future."

The next PM came within half an hour insisting that no, I WOULD sell them my girl for 95 dollars because 95 dollars is what they had and that they wanted the clothes and wigs and eyes as well. They even tried to get my email address (it was listed on my profile in case anyone needed to contact me) to see if they could send a paypal payment and that if I didn't send her after they sent payment then they would file a suit and demand that I send her immediately. Luckily, the email I use for paypal is different than my email for everything else and they were unable to send payment. I reported them to DeviantArt and then blocked them, but I think they still have their account.

So if anyone put up an offer, even as a joke, I still wouldn't be very happy with them.

 

I wouldn't get mad unless they kept bothering me about it,or tried to do something like what happened to Aronzo. At least it's against the rules on DOA,so if someone does harass you about your dolls you can report them.

 

Aronzo
I feel like I need to say something about the sheer ridiculous idiocy of that situation, but I'm at a lack of words. Sounds like you hit a real nutcase there.

I would probably be a mixture of annoyed and flattered that someone would want my doll enough to disregard the fact I never mentioned wanting to sell him or her. In the end, if the person gracefully accepted that I wouldn't sell my doll I might remain a little flattered over the notion that someone else wanted him/her, but nonetheless it wouldn't leave me with a very good impression of that person. And if it all played out for the worse and they remained persistent about it, well.. that wouldn't be a story worth telling...

 

Yeah, I was pretty upset about it, but luckily that's the only time something like that's happened. I hope nobody else has to deal with that person asking for their dolls. If they hadn't been so pushy and adamant about it, I can see things turning out a different way. I still wouldn't sell my girl, but it would've been less defensive. >3< I'm still a little wary of people asking for me to keep them in mind if I ever do decide to sell her because of that. *just hoping they've noticed the value of these dolls and that they've learned some sort of lesson since then. I never bothered to look at their profile (it happened kinda quickly) but I'm kind of hoping that maybe it was a kid who didn't know any better because of the way they reacted once I said no.

 

I would not be offended. Who knows, I might actually consider the sale even if I wasn't already thinking of selling. Before getting worked up about an offer to buy it would be useful to consider that the person inquiring might not be familiar with BJD community customs around doll sales. I highly doubt anyone intends offense by asking. When you share things online in an open forum you must accept that sometimes people are going to engage with you in ways you might not anticipate. With the exception of communities with specific guidelines like DoA where these things are spelled out for everyone.

 

If that person really wants your doll, s/he can place a feeler and see if someone is willing to part with it. And if you happen to see and do want to sell it then there ya go

 

I would have no problem with it. If it was a doll I was attached to, I'd politely respond that I'm not looking to sell her at this time. I would then let the interested person know about the sculpt and how they could get their own. If it was a custom faceup that I wanted to stay original I would take the time to ask them to please not copy the faceup. No reason to get offended to me.

But I'm aware that others may get offended and so I would not ask it personally. Perhaps if they mentioned something about not bonding with a sculpt or wishing they had a different doll instead and I was head over heels with it, I might PM complimenting the doll I liked and asking where they got her, etc. And see if they offered to sell. But I wouldn't be the one to "start" a talk about a P2P sale.

If It was a doll that I haven't bonded with or kind of fell out of attachment to, I'd gladly be open to a conversation even if I wasn't originally looking to sell her. I'd want someone else to enjoy her!

 

Hm, sorta conflicted. On one hand, it's very easy to be offended. On the other, what harm are they doing, really? Asking once is fine. After no, it's harassment That's where I draw my line, anyway.

 

it actually sounds rude to me esp if the person asks u rudely, but i cant blame people if they really like the doll.

that happened to me once, not about a doll actually, that person was asking if i will be going to sell my new phone which i got as a present. i don't know but i just got offended that time so i answered her in a rude manner. maybe bec of the way she spoke?

 

I just think it's rude to say "I want to buy your doll for $XXX.XX, please sell him/her to me?". I'd never do that to anyone that didn't have their doll up for sale already.

 

If someone PM'd me asking me for my doll especially if he was new I would feel quite honestly scared..I'd handle it as calmly as I could, report them ect to ensure it doesn't happen again but I don't like people asking me for my things. I've had it happen so often in my life before and my jackass of a dad would force me to let them do it and take my things because "They have so little" And no it wasn't that they had so little they saw they could go to me and ask infront of my dad...One girl even went as far as to try on a Qi-Pao my aunt sent me after I told her no I would not give it to her and walked out infront of my dad wearing it...He took me aside and said if I didn't give it over to her I would be in big...BIG trouble..My mom difused the situation and I still own the dress.

But yes..Asking me that would bother me...A lot.