Is it 'OKAY' to PM an Owner about Selling a doll they had NO intention to sell?

I agree with a lot of people here - That asking "I like X, I'll give you $600 (or whatever) for them." out of the blue is tacky and rude. Likewise, the "Oh, your X is so cute! If you ever think of selling them, I'd be glad to give them a home!" doesn't sound rude to me; rather complementary, in fact. It implies that you've done something special with your doll, special enough that others admire and desire it.
The idea of offering similar face-ups and whatnot on dolls of the same mold so you don't have to part with your original is a good way to handle the more polite, second version (which is more like a hint, anyway). As to whether or not I would report the first kind... If they were really insistant, aggressive, or rude, I would, and I wouldn't feel bad about doing it. It sounds like some people have been semi-stalked and outright harassed by some individuals, and no one deserves that kind of trouble. If they just asked, I would politely decline and go on with my day, but I might feel troubled. I know my Roland isn't terribly special when you look at him; I haven't done anything beyond his haircut, but he is special to me (despite his griping). I think if I randomly got an offer like that I would take him down and sit him next to me for a while (where I could see him), or give him a hug. I don't have the "best friend" or "parent/child" relationship some people have with their dolls - he's an employee/roommate - but as I said, he's special. To have someone totally ignore that there's a "relationship" at all implies to me that they might not take very good care of him, or may be looking to make a fast buck by reselling at a higher price to someone else.
It's like if someone said to me, "I like your bunnies - If I give you $X will you sell them to me? I'll toss in an extra $X if you give me your cat!" Although, they wouldn't get a polite, "No, thank you," that's for sure!

 

I think it depends a lot on the tone.

Just letting someone know "I love this doll - please think of me should you ever decide to sell him" is something like a compliment - something I don´t see much of a problem with.
If you follow the board for a while, it does happen quite frequently that a doll that the owner loves and has no intention to sell at first changes home after all somewhat later, for a variety of reasons. So it´s not entirely out of the way to consider the possibility that the owner might, at some point, decide to let go of the doll in question, and there´s no harm in asking nicely. I don´t see it as "staking a claim early" since it involves no obligation for the owner. It´s up to them whether they want to follow that request.

Downright asking or urging someone to sell them a particular doll, however, is absolutely rude - especially when the person asking is incapable of accepting a no for an answer and keeps insisting. That´s just plain harassment and I would not hesitate to report someone doing that.

I guess it is exemplary for a certain attitude in modern society, though. A lot of people believe they can get anything they want if they only wave with enough greenbacks - or whine loudly enough.

As to the "It's unfair you own xx dolls and I have none yet" pseudo-argument that some of these stalkers come up with... what an absolute and utter piece of idiotic bullshit.

Life´s not always fair, and there´s no statute entitling everyone to a minimum number of expensive dolls. Most people who own more than one doll have worked, saved up, sold other items, in short spent a considerable amount of effort to be able to afford these and if you absolutely have to talk about fairness, it´s fair that they should be able to enjoy the fruits of those efforts.
It´s not fair to expect them to give away what they worked for just because someone else happens to *want* it. Now. And cheap.

And... QFEing RabbitDance

 

My first reaction to a "I'll give you $X" is "who the heck do you think you are?" What ego! "I want it so you should sell it to me because I want it." What laziness! Very few dolls are so unique and so rare that they could not somehow be recreated, but "I don't want to go to that work, just let me buy yours." At the very least, they should politely ask "would you consider selling him/her?" Don't just go in with guns blazing!

I wouldn't view a "please keep me in mind if you ever decide to sell" so badly for a couple of reasons.
1) I don't view it as a real offer to buy. If it were to happen to me, and I had to sell the very next week, I wouldn't expect this person to actually take me up on it.
2) The respect shown for the other person. "I realize that you're not interested right now and I don't want you to change your mind just for me."

 

Its quite pathetic... I love some of the dolls on DoA, but I certainly wouldnt PM their owners offering money for them! MAKE YOUR OWN AMAZING DOLL lol.

 

I think it's okay to, as you said, say you love their doll, and if they ever want to let them go, keep them in mind.

However, just saying "Will you give me ___ For $____?" is very rude, and definently isn't okay. It's disrespectful to the owners and the dolls.

 

I Guess Its Ok For Me But Im Still Not Selling Any Of My Dolls

 

I don't think this person meant any harm! Especially, when he/she also added to that Email:"Sorry by the annoyances But worth a try!"
That is already an apology! Only sent one Email!
I'd simply respond for that Email in a professional manner: Thank you for your interest but the doll is not for sale!
End of story!
Harrassment only occurs if the same person keeps sending you pressuring Email to sell the doll! Than can be reported or you can block the Emails.
In life, you'll encounter much more serious situations and you'll have to deal with them on everyday basis! And everything you do and say will have consequences!

 

I had someone offer to buy my doll, who repeatedly sells their dolls in a few months time. In fact they had already had the same mold and the faceups weren't that different. That one kind of hurt since I felt they wanted to probably scalp my doll.

 

No matter how it's worded, I find it strange when strangers view me and my belongings as a private shopping mall. I'm not a mannequin, and my home is not a store window. It's dehumanizing to be contacted out of the blue for no other reason than the person hopes I'll sell them something, even if it's worded politely. It makes me feel as though I'm being treated like a mail-order catalogue.

This isn't to say I'd go ballistic on a polite PM. I just wouldn't feel comfortable. No one likes to feel like an object on display at a yard sale.

 

I think it really is in the way you are asked. If someone owned a doll I just loved, I would inquire about the mold (if I didn't already know), the face up, etc. I wouldn't ever ask someone directly to sell me a doll that they didn't offer for sale. I would have to agree with most people that it's on the rude side.

 

i just sent a pm to a very kind person who has sold dolls before, so i hope its okay.

 

It hasn't happened to me, but if it were like the second scenerio (if someone contacted me, telling me they loved my doll ~ and were just contacting me to let me know that if I, in any way shape or form decided to let go of him, they'd welcome him with open arms in their loving home... ) I would feel a swell of happiness. I am so attached to my dolls, the thought of them going from owner to owner is terrible to me, no offense, and I'd only want them to go to a permenant home where someone else would be as attached to them as I am.

 

I don't think I'd ever have thought of PMing someone about buying their doll who wasn't already selling it. Not that I've never thought, 'If they ever sell their doll, I wish I could be the one to buy it', but I'd never think of asking an owner if they'd consider me in the unlikely event. Partially because I'd feel like I'd sound rather presumptuous. I have made my love of some dolls known in gallery posts ("I love your doll, s/he's my dream doll!" or the like).

The closest I've come to something like this was when my friend did a trade with another DoA member. She had the choice between two dolls in exchange for hers. After the transaction, I commented to my friend that I liked the mold of the other one, so she contacted the girl and asked if she'd be willing to sell the other doll, since she'd been willing to trade it. She agreed and I was able to buy the doll.

If anyone were to PM me politely asking to think of them should I ever sell my doll (my thoughts go immediately to a girl who's got a WTB of one of my molds that's hard to find, but I know I have no intention of ever selling him), I'd be flattered. I'd find it weird, yes, but I'd be happy that my children are appreciated.

 

wow, that's pretty...weird! i mean, i can understand contacting an owner because you like their doll or because you have the same sculpt and want to compliment them on their doll but asking them to part with their doll is slightly rude. would you want someone coming up to you and saying "so i like your painting which was given to you by a family member(lol my uncle has done this...artist!) i'll pay you X amount of dollars for it"? no. you wouldn't i'll bet. especially if you've no intention on selling and never have mentioned you wanted to sell >.<

 

Personally, I feel annoyed when people ask to buy things that aren't for sale. I guess I don't really think it's okay for people to do that... especially since, like others have said, many people are very attatched to their dolls, they're more than just an object to them. Although, I suppose I can see the other side of this and say that the person probably just had the hopes that if they asked to buy the doll, the owner might actually decide they didn't care that much for the doll and were willing to sell it, even though they hadn't thought of it before. *sigh* In the end, I think I have to say that I don't think it's right for people to PM others asking to buy their dolls that aren't for sale.

 

After reading thru this thread, I've thought that I would be flattered by someone *politely* asking to give my dolls a home if I ever do sell (not likely in the forseable future!)
However, if someone was rude and demanding not only would I not sell them my doll, I'd likely blacklist them and not sell them anything off sale threads I do have. But then again, I'm stubborn like that

 

I know I'm probably just being a picky little git but I think I would go with the dog analogy. I could easily sell my couch and go to the place I bought it and get the same one and not care. I could also sell my dog and get one of the same breed but it would not have the same personality or characteristics as my old one, where my couch had no personality or defining characteristics other then being rather soft. Same would apply to Suzaku (my Soony) I could sell her and by a new girl with the same mold and possibly get the same face up and wigs and all that jazz but her personality wouldn’t be the same. I know she is inanimate and all but she has her own personality that would be vastly different with another of her same mold. At least that’s how it is to someone us.

I hope this is not offensive, because that is not why it was written.

 

I have a had a few Pms in my time collecting on DOA asking me if I would sell
it dosnt bother me ...I find it flattereing that someone would want my doll rather than buy a new one

 

Luckily, I have never recieved a PM of this type; probably because I lurk like the dickens. And, honestly, I would never think of doing it either.

For me, a large part of this hobby is the customization aspect of it, and all of my dolls have been modded in some way, shape, or form to fit my mental image of the characters. In short, I've put a lot of love and labor into them, so were I to recieve even a polite PM, I'd feel a tad flattered but also a little put off at the same time. This is, however, entirely my own standpoint, so I'd still do my best to thank them for their interest, but politely turn them down (and add on that, should I ever for some reason want to sell the dolls, I would not sell them as they are now. I either wipe them or give them a faceup that is not fitting of their current persona. I've put so much effort into them that, even if I were relenqishing the character to wherever lost dolly souls pass on to, I wouldn't want their exact same physical shell out there. Dolly goes, so does their face! But, again, that's me!)

The closest thing I've done to this is expressing interest in a doll after a very close friend of mine told me she was considering reshelling the character and selling said doll. But I'd never think about PMing someone out of the blue about a doll they've not expressed any selling intent, especially if it was after reading a post about how in love with them they are. It just doesn't sit right with me.

Of course, rude or harassing PMs are an absolute no-no, and even worse if they try to guilt you out of your precious dolly; that's just bad juju, man. Curious PMs, if worded politely and without any implied pressure, are a bit more acceptable, though it quite obviously depends on the person and situation as to how well your inquiry will be taken.

And if you really, really want a doll? Put up and actively maintain a WTB thread, stalk eBay and Y!J, and keep your eyes peeled and your wallet full. Strive, reach for your goal! That way you'll feel much more accomplished when you finally get them!