1. It has come to the attention of forum staff that Dollshe Craft has ceased communications with dealers and customers, has failed to provide promised refunds for the excessive waits, and now has wait times surpassing 5 years in some cases. Forum staff are also concerned as there are claims being put forth that Dollshe plans to close down their doll making company. Due to the instability of the company, the lack of communication, the lack of promised refunds, and the wait times now surpassing 5 years, we strongly urge members to research the current state of this company very carefully and thoroughly before deciding to place an order. For more information please see the Dollshe waiting room. Do not assume this cannot happen to you or that your order will be different.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Dollshe Craft and all dolls created by Dollshe, including any dolls created under his new or future companies, including Club Coco BJD are now banned from Den of Angels. Dollshe and the sculptor may not advertise his products on this forum. Sales may not be discussed, no news threads may be posted regarding new releases. This ban does not impact any dolls by Dollshe ordered by November 8, 2023. Any dolls ordered after November 8, 2023, regardless of the date the sculpt was released, are banned from this forum as are any dolls released under his new or future companies including but not limited to Club Coco BJD. This ban does not apply to other company dolls cast by Dollshe as part of a casting agreement between him and the actual sculpt or company and those dolls may still be discussed on the forum. Please come to Ask the Moderators if you have any questions.
    Dismiss Notice

Is your doll a shield for you?

Nov 12, 2011

    1. I don't understand how the dolls could be a shield. Shield for what? 90% of my life has nothing to do with dolls-- work, family, etc., so I couldn't use them as a "shield" even if I wanted to.

      Regarding the guilt trip, I have donated many, many dolls to Toys For Tots, and plan to do so again this year. I think the OP might feel guilty about how much time she spent on dolls, and assumes others might feel guilty also.
       
    2. Yes, my dolls area shield. I use them whenever I go out to fight dragons. *rolls eyes*
       
    3. I didn't see the part where the OP mentioned finding God.

      I think it's very possible to use ANY hobby/collection as a means of escapism. It's not healthy whether it be dolls, video games, card collecting, animal hording (I'm a betta fish keeper and lots of people will horde small animals. Sorry but 25 pet store 'rescue' fish whom you give minimal care isn't rescuing, it's hording.)

      I think it's possible to fill voids in your life with object, and I don't think it's healthy. A doll should be a doll-- a toy you enjoy. Not an all-consuming obsession that's the only thing that makes you happy. Also, tastes change. Maybe the OP doesn't like dolls anymore... and that's okay. Maybe the OP still does, but is disgusted that they used them so much to facilitate things they can't handle having them at the moment, and are demonizing them.

      In any even, I'm glad you're happy, OP. Friends and love are more important than dolls-- and if you have trouble balancing the two, kudos to you for making the choice that's healthy for you.
       
    4. And I find essentially being preached to on a doll forum highly offensive...
       
    5. @elijahfeathers - It's rather hinted when the OP said, "God alone could fulfill all my needs."

      ... I am suddenly reminded of my days in Catholic school, as well as my relatives that have recently taken up Buddhism to a whole new level. While I do believe that a person should not let luxuries and materialistic items take over your life, and that you shouldn't continuously splurge on items you well cannot afford (as debts are terrible things,) in this modern day and age it is nearly impossible to say that material objects cannot fulfill you. Yes, they cannot fully give you the satisfaction that practical necessities like food and water can, but there is a purpose for everything, and if used right and properly, can help you with life. That being said, technically nothing in your present life can be used with you in the next. Not your food, not your occupation, not even your experience and wisdom because whether or not it's the next life or the afterlife, it doesn't change the fact that your current life will end. On a religious base, you will be judged by anything and everything. Your crimes will mean nothing because you can be punished for anything, and your achievements will have no significance as well. A killer in this life can become a lifesaver in the next, although that's still no excuse for anything.

      In the past, I used to yearn to be a Lolita, because I felt that modern fashion did not suit me and I was tired of seeing the lack of modesty people in my age group had. I do not have a doll right now. However, I use dolls as creative outlets and inspiration. The fact that there are beautiful, handmade beings that can be customized to however we want is just amazing in my eyes. Hell, I'll be honest - I have periods of depression in which I just lose the will to live. This, along with contributed bouts of stress piling onto me as I'm going through my first year of high school, does not help my wellbeing. I compensate for my loss of confidence and happiness by having doll characters that, despite their condition being worse than mine, still manage to find the determination to spend everyday laughing and smiling. So rather, dolls do not shield anything, but they are the sword that I use to fight my daily struggles :lol:
       
    6. As much as people are pointing out that having dolls and being charitable aren't mutually exclusive, please realize that believing in an afterlife does NOT mean you can't enjoy your time here nor does believing in God or higher power(s) mean you're lacking brain power or the capability to think. It's condescending and rude to suggest otherwise. :/

      God is good, yes, but He is first and foremost a creator and you're made in his image...this means that we are creative and strive to create as well. I don't know what God you are referencing, but the one I know has plans to make you prosper...there isn't anything wrong with having money or having fine things and expensive hobbies! You can have both that and your faith, just find the right balance. I'm happy for you because you have learned something about yourself, but I don't see my dolls as a shield or hiding who I really am. They actually say a lot about me chiefly that I like fine, pretty things and that if I have my heart set on something strongly enough I will get it. For me they're an outlet for imagination and they bring me happiness just by being mine. They're a luxury item, so no I don't NEED them but they do help reduce my stress. Fixing their hair, changing the clothes, planning the looks, learning to sew...I used to draw all the time, but then I stopped. I was so stressed out! They've given me inspiration to start drawing and creating again.
       
    7. Playing slight devil's advocate here, but this is a debate, so...

      If you protest to someone's opinion so strongly... why? Why is it offensive to be asked if your dolls make you feel guilty, unless they do? In tough economic times it can be hard to justify even small luxury purchases, let alone items like dolls.

      At the same time I also see many people on this forum who treat their dolls like little people, speak about them as if they are alive. (Eg "So and so was so bored today. She gave me the cold shoulder when I got home!") Is that really a healthy form of pretend-- when you opt to spend time with dolls instead of friends or family?

      Edit:

      In regards to the God can fufil my needs. Idk how but I read that as 'good'. xD lol
       
    8. What first got me wondering is what I could use my dolls as a shield for. I'm having a hard time connecting with that. I enjoy being around my dolls, and doing things with/for my dolls, so I don't see it as a shield; I see it as a facilitator for socialization and a generally healthy thing. I don't see the dolls as fulfilling in and of themselves. Like I said, they are facilitators into socialization. I'm in this forum, communicating with other people, and that's a healthy behavior. Other people also meet person-to-person to discuss dolls, and other things, and that's healthy. So much has been created on the basis of these dolls to promote creativity and socializing, both healthy things.

      This quote says it well:
      Most people here aren't using dolls to fill a void in their lives. I'm not sure what kind of void they'd fill.
       
    9. There are a lot of people (especially young people, sorry!) that try to identify themselves and define themselves to the world via some special subculture. This could be anime, a musical sub-genre, a street fashion style or ABJDs. Something that has a look, style or an "outsider" cool factor associated with it. You only have to accumulate more stuff, dress the right way or whatever to be a member of that group - it can have nothing to do with the person, who they are or what they think.

      Other people get into these hobbies and interests because that's honestly what they like. The "image" of the group or sub-culture does not replace their personality, influence how they behave, change how they treat people or affect how they interact with their family. They are simple interests or hobbies. Normal, healthy.

      If someone realizes they have been hiding behind the image of a street fashion - it's not the fashions fault. This issue is entirely an issue for the inner workings of that person. Many young people go through this, many grow out of it. Many of us don't need to grow beyond it or have an epiphany!! as the interest was never taken on as a shield.

      I hope that makes some kinda sense. I am tired after a long day at work.
       
    10. Silverholly , idrisfynn, and elijahfeathers hold rather valid points here :)

      Ah, religion- the age old debate. Since my childhood, I never understood why couldn't we have religion and science at the same time; after all, couldn't there be a god that created us so we had the ability to adapt and evolve? I personally believe that there is a God, and that He is just and fair. However, I think that He also judges us how He sees fit. (Hence the reason why I said "A killer in their present life can be a lifesaver in the next," yadda yadda.)

      Also, who are we to judge people based on what they do here compared to their actual lives? There are people who jokingly treat their dolls as people just for humor's sake :lol:, and people who also spend time with their friends and family equally, and just happen to spend a certain amount of time on their dolls for entertainment, just like they spend a certain amount of time on the internet or watching tv. :)
       
    11. @Writerm - It's amazing the things people can use to avoid going out and having proper interactions with other people, or forming friendships. I know a lot of people who only play World of Warcraft ect and somehow manage to make that the most important thing in their lives and isolate themselves from others with it. People do that with all sorts of things. So I can consider the possibility of a doll being.. another vehicle for that sort of self-isolating behavior.
       
    12. I see what you mean, now.
       
    13. It has nothing to do with guilt... Or even with dolls.

      It has everything to do with common courtesy and what is or is not appropriate in such a "mixed company" setting.
       
    14. ^That. Someone comes in questioning us as to why we have more than one doll when really, all we need is one and more than that is such a terrible waste of money when said money could be used to feed starving children, and people will be offended. I don't know why there was such a jump to "AH-HA! You're offended, this must apply to you in this way!" I feel just fine about the dolls I own, thanks. I take offence to the implication that I might somehow be a horrible materialistic person because I own more than one doll. It wouldn't matter if the OP had said Great Cthulu or the FSM as the deity of their choice, it's the lack of courtesy in the tone of the post and the holier-than-thou attitude that rankles.

      ETA:
      Precisely. The vast majority of us are in the hobby (and some are also into lolita or other street fashions) because we enjoy it, not because we feel that we want/need to be 'cool' or 'part of something' or to fill some sort of void. We just...like dolls (And/or pretty clothes). There's nothing for us to use them as a shield from, because we aren't trying to hide from anything. It isn't the fault of the doll or the fashion if someone is using them to hide-that blame lies entirely with the individual.
       
    15. I don't see her as being open and preachy though. Maybe a little rude to someone who's a doll lover-- but I see here someone who was young and picked hobbies to try to fill some void in their lives. Then they found religion, and realized that that's what made them happy, not dolls.

      Some of the replies have struck me as being ruder than the original post-- especially ones that seem to be attacking OP's religion.


      Edit: Why does there have to be 'blame' assigned to anyone or anything-- be it a hobby or a person? It's often not hiding intentionally-- you have to experiment to find where you fit in the world. Not every christian knows they're a christian form the moment their born. You don't know if you like skiing until you try skiing.

      Maybe you try Skiing and it's pretty fun-- and you make a lot of awesome skiing friends and get to hang out with them-- and everyone tells you you're really good at skiing and you get more positive attention than you're used to-- and it's nice.

      And then one day you see parachuting and you try that out. And you LOVE parachuting. You're really interested in all the details of that, and what the people are talking about. You feel really at home. But before that you felt like you were at home Skiing.

      Weird example, but to hopefully show what I mean.
       
    16. I was the first to answer the OP - I always feel so apprehensive for anyone (especially if young) who talks as she does - to just completely do a 180 degree in her life. I just feel that people who do this so completely are leaving themselves open to disappointment.
      As for the post being judgemental - LOL I'm obviously wayyyy too thick skinned to even register that! But I can see it.
      Whatever floats your boat, go for it :D
       
    17. Welcome to capitalist consumer society baby.
      I guess what bugs me a little is this idea that not buying luxury objects will somehow exempt a person from taking part in the post industrial, consumer society that most of us live in. It is an illusion to think you are not supporting this reality in your day to day life unless you are seriously planning to uproot yourself completely from that system, go to a desperate third world country and help starving children with your own hands.
      I am not of course at all diminishing the worthy act of donating to charities and organisations -from- our place in this system, any help is good help, and it's the most many of us -can- do. What I do object to (and I agree that there is an element of holier-than-thou in the OP's questions) is this notion that because the OP has given up dolls and other material hobbies that this makes that person "better" or more "enlightened" or most importantly, some how less of a consumer than those who have not given up those things.
      Always keep an eyeball on the bigger picture.

      Edit: And what are dolls to me? To me they are art, the likes of which I am lucky enough in my life to be able to indulge in. Next year I will be buying a doll directly from an independent artist and this will help her to create more art. This gives me a buzz and I think art is a worthy pursuit, it is after all, an ancient human past-time.
       
    18. You know, I'm shocked that folks read a condescending tone in the OP's post! It just seemed like she was musing about a personal choice, not making any judgments. It sounds like a hard call, too. But we've all got to do what's right for ourselves. I don't even think that the OP is trying to say ALL dolls are "covers." After all, she's asking us if that's true in our cases. She's trying to find some common ground here. And frankly, I see nothing wrong with looking frankly at one's impulses for owning the dolls. I also see nothing wrong with admitting that in some cases, owning dolls might be wrong for some people (for various personal reasons).

      And while we all need material items, the OP does have a point that we can get TOO caught up in materialistic things. We can.

      I do part with her on one respect, which others have mentioned better--I'm not owning a doll in order to neglect a starving orphan. You CAN have special things AND give to charity. They're not exclusive and there's nothing wrong with buying something nice for yourself.

      Also, I really feel it's kind of mean to pile on the OP. Can't there be a difference between disagreeing and being hateful? It sounds like she's pretty sad to me--going through a big identity crisis or something similarly confusing. That hurts my heart and I really wish her the best. <3
       
    19. This was what I got from it when I read it, too. This is what I felt was condescending in the OP and raised the question of "why are you still here if you've given all that up"? To convert the masses? I'm good with my maker, dolls and all. Moving on.
       
    20. Because I have to deal with people proselytizing at me on a daily basis in my real world interactions, and I HATE IT and it pisses me off. So I really don't need to see it on a doll forum, which has absolutely NOTHING to with religion, and that entire post smacked of religious condescension.