Is your doll habit a dirty little secret?

I guess everyone who keeps this hobby a little secret have the same reason - judgmental non-collectors that might question on the amount of money spent on dolls.

Talking about family members' hobbies, my parents arent really collectors to anything. So I think I might have pretty much inherited this from my late grandmother. She loved collecting (mostly) metalic antiques, candelabra and utensils to name some. And she also kept it a secret as her kids are always telling her to stop.

 

I can't be bothered with secrets. My family and friends know I collect dolls because I will share photographs on facebook or deviantart. BJD collecting is just another part of who I am. I do not value any negative opinions on how I live my life and spend what little extra money I have after bills are paid. You don't like how I am 27 and collecting dolls? Shucks.

 

Not the dolls themselves, but as for the price, kind of. My fiance knows how much they cost, but I've never told my parents. They wouldn't understand why I would want to spend so much money on a doll! I can't blame them either, since my only justification is that they make me happy and I like to use them as photography subjects. My dad might know (I think he looked them up). Price has never come up in conversation so I'm guessing he just looks the other way. I don't think he likes it but he's really into cars and motorcycles so he can't really complain about the price of my hobby. My mom, on the other hand, is frugal and doesn't see a point in buying anything that doesn't serve a purpose. My parents are not artistic nor are they collectors so the price wouldn't make much sense to them haha.

 

For me it sort of is a secret, but not for the wrong reasons (I like to think). I'll mention to some people (that I know fairly well first of course) that I like dolls and collect them, but I don't really tell them much about it because my dolls are like part of my secret world haha. It's something for me to enjoy and I don't necessarily want other people involved in it, at least not at this point. That could change in the future of course, but for now I just like to keep it a little private, that's all!

 

my doll habit is not a secret, all my family and my friends knows, but i rarely talk about this with the new friends. i'm sick about when the people say, its scared! even my good friend sometimes will say something that im angry with, so i will talk to the friends who know me better

 

If this has been done before, take appropriate actions and give links please. Very interested in this. Ok, so, we have a dilemma. Telling significant others how much this costs. $300 dollars. When we know darn well its well over $800 for the complete package. Oh so your getting a new doll in the mail? But your shipping it to a friend or family member and smuggling it in like stolen goods. Id love to hear what you have had to do to get something you know would take some James Bond skills to accomplish and what the price difference you normally take off to make it look less expensive.

 

Oh this did make me laugh. I think I have misrepresented everything that I have brought this year. I wasn't going to get any new dolls (haha) and have ended up with 4, all secondhand but still. Two of them off ebay got their prices halved when I 'admitted ' how much I paid for them, third one I was honest about the price paid and promised it would be the last one for the year. Then I bought another one, he cost $350 but I only admitted to paying $100 for him, he was such a bargain, how could I not buy him I am busy unpacking three new wigs that I brought this week, supposedly I only got two because my new boy needs new wigs and they where on a special offer, less 20% which is such a good deal, but I would have to be tortured to admit what the original price actually was.
I think a lot of us have to be creative about telling significant others what we spend. Years ago I brought a teddy bear home and said that I had paid $50 for it, a couple of months later, he was looking through photos that I had taken at the show and there was the bear with a very prominent price tag of $250. I learnt my lesson, dispose of any paperwork and never leave any evidence.

 

Unfortunately I need my significant others' credit card to purchase dolls or accessories so he always knows exactly how much I spend on this hobby. He really hates the fact I spend so much money on this 'crap' but then I always remind him that even though he earns more money than me he always ends up with less savings than me. He has his expensive hobbies and I'll have mine.

It's give and take here. He'll just have to live with the fact that I like spending my money on BJD for the moment. I'd rather spend my money and be happy than trying to save it all for a rainy day and end up dreading each and every day of my life. You need a balance but be sure to live a little. Money does you no good if you keep it locked up in a vault.

I also try not to lie about things I do in case it might turn into a habit.

 

I don't really get into how much I spend on bjd stuff with my partner , he's not really interested, I have my cash and he spends heaps on car stuff. At the end of the day i still mange to save more than him as well and pay the bills, its a don't ask don't tell grey area for the both of us (cars for him, dolls for me) saves arguments and stress

 

My boyfriend fully knows how much the hobby costs. He doesn't think it's very weird and he even offered to help me pay for my layaway doll right now ^^. i'm only 19 and he's 20 so we are young, but I haven't lied at all to him about the costs! I even offered to take him to a doll meet next month and he said he would come with me. Hes so supportive and such a sweetheart!! on the other hand i've lied to my mom and my sister to avoid confrontation about money, they can drink their alcohol and spend their money on their own toys! This is why I have my own job.

 

Awwwww, Jessica, he's sweet!

I just recently started the hobby and I'm 30, I work and everything. The priority is paying the mortgage and the bills, and saving a bit, but ny partner of 9 years knows how much I spend on the dolls and I try not to spend too much at the time in clothes for them ^^. We both have our hobbies, we try to get the very expensive stuff for Christmas or birthday, so that we can splurge a bit more. I bought a new doll a month ago and now I found another second hand that I purchased from a friend, he's informed of my expenses. He wanted a new computer (his is pretty old now) and I was the one to choose the hardware with the help of a friend (I will be the one who will assemble the hardware XD.

I really prefer keeping him informed of my expenses, it's not right to hide something from a partner.

From parents and siblings. I don't hide anything from my sister, she got me into the hobby, she has a SID and a YID, so she knows the prices even better than me ^^.

My parents. They roughly know how much they cost but it's not like I have to present them a balance ... better be vague .

 

Not a significant other, but I haven't told my mom how much things really costs. With shipping and everything, my doll was about $230 since I was able to buy him on sale. I told my mom that he was $100, which she thought was way too much money. She thinks he's very cute and well made now that he is here, but I wouldn't dare tell her how much he really cost because she still thinks $100 was a lot for me to pay for a doll. XD

I've also been lying about wigs, clothes, and shoes. The wigs I bought were used, so they were cheap, but she thinks they cost like $5-10 new. And she thinks clothes and shoes are around the $10 range...

Thank goodness she's not internet savy and she sends me to get the mail, so she doesn't see how much I get. I don't think she'd stop me from buying things since it's my own money, but she'd definitely say something about it...

 

I tell the soulmate, he sees the bank statements anyways lol. Thankfully, he's very supportive so far! I've just started recently, so we'll see how long this will last! :P

However, I will never ever ever tell my mother, father, sister, etc how much this hobby costs. As a child, I always imagined my adulthood to be super awesome because I can "buy and do whatever I want" this hobby is as close as I can get to realizing that dream. :P

 

I've had my turn being a sneak... when I got my first doll in 2006, I kept her a secret from my then-husband. (No, this isn't why we broke up XD) One night we went to a bar down the street from our apartment and I had a little too much to drink. I'm a VERY honest drunk, and I spilled the beans then and there. Fortunately he didn't get too upset at me, and eventually he started playing with the doll when I wasn't around - I'd come home and find her in different positions X3 But yeah. He knew how much they were so I tried to hide it and, well, that didn't last long X'D

 

Mr. renee_chan and I have separate bank accounts. As long as I can foot my part of the bills I can spend my money as I please, and so can he. I have felt a little guilty at splurging on 2 expensive dolls at once so I smuggled them in the house to the doll room before he came home from work. But that was pretty pointless as he came home when I was un boxing and found me with both hands full of new doll and surrounded by bubble wrap & boxes He didn't care, though!

 

My husband knows what I spend because only his name is on our bank account and I need his permission to buy anything. No hiding there! But, as long as I have a job, I have an allowance, and as long as I stay within it, it's no problem. It just means saving up or doing layaway.

I do, however, keep costs from my parents for the most part. I'm an adult and they have no say so over my funds, but it's just easier to avoid the whole "YOU COULD HAVE PAID OFF YOUR JEEP AT THE COST OF ALL THOSE DOLLS!" lecture. When I was new to the hobby, my mom helped pay for a Bobobie for the holidays, and she was about $150. Mom thought it was outrageous, that Bobobie must be one of the crazy high end companies. XD I haven't really told my parents that she was one of the cheapest dolls I've ever owned. I just let them them think the whole collection was around that price or lower and don't comment further on price. They haven't asked.

 

Everyone in my direct life Boss, Parents and partner all know how much I spend. I get my packages shipped to work so boss knows and doesn't care lol. I live with my parents (both artists) so they aren't surprised. My boyfriend has let me use his credit card and I am paying him back in payments.

Also recently my grandma loaned me money to purchase a doll so I have two layaway payments going on right now, one to my bf and one to my grandma. I would much rather owe family money than a company

Instead of making things look less expensive I show people ebay prices and say "See! See what a great deal I'm getting" So that's my sneakiness to add in here

 

My husband and I have separate accounts but he knows how much they are. I don't lie to him.

 

I usually take a $100 or so off when they ask how much one costs. I couldn't fib about my DZ Annie because they found the packing list that somehow didnt' get thrown away. Which is actually how they found out about them in the first place lol. My first two dolls I had them shipped to my old neighbor and then went to pick them up. After I discovered PO boxes, I got one in the town I work in. I wouldn't get one in my little town because my parents know the mail lady and she'd probably ask them why I got a PO box. My family only knows about half of my dolls. But I've gotten some more out and my mom always says "I thought you said you weren't getting anymore" and I just blow it off and say I already had that one lol.

 

I feel like that's not something you should have to do in a healthy romantic relationship. o.O

I tell my partner of 5 years when I buy dolls, I'm upfront about how much they will end up costing, and we discuss our finances and decide whether we can afford it. We'll also take turns and decide whether we should get something for his hobbies or my hobbies because we don't make enough to pay the bills, put into savings, AND sustain both hobbies. In the summer we bought him a new gaming computer, so that was a no doll time for me because I took over covering the rent while he saved up for his computer.

I mean I guess in some relationships where the income is kept very separate, it might not be such a big deal, but we depend on both of us working to live comfortably out of debt, and both of our incomes are pooled into a common sum (I keep the savings account, but that's OUR savings, not MY savings), so... lying about spending $700-$800 just seems like an awful thing to do.

I did lie to my mom about dolls once - when I first started and I was still a teen living with her. I had my own credit card (I was an avid internet shopper and my parents got tired of having to constantly buy things on their CC and deal with me paying them back), but she'd look at the statements. So I lied and said the $500 I spent (baaaaaad exchange rate) was for me and a friend (who didn't have a credit card). She didn't believe me at all, of course. But afterwards we had a conversation and I told her that it really upset me that she thought that this hobby was worthless when it was making me happy, and we kind of came to an agreement that I wasn't going to bother her with it, and she was going to try and understand that it was important to me. My boyfriend kind of has the same approach - he doesn't entirely get it (thought I've seen him eyeing a couple of the tiny pet dolls by some of the companies), but he encourages me to participate in the hobby so long as it makes me happy, and we have money to spare. ^^