Is your doll habit a dirty little secret?

Wow, gooooood chat. Meaty stuff. My dolls aren't a secret. I bring some to work with me, I bring them on visits, on day trips. I just love having them with me. The prices I disclose to my boyfriend, my best friend, and my Mom :P My mother bought me a doll once for Christmas so that was inevitable. In general though, I get to obsessive that it's kind of hard to keep them a secret. I do, however, think that who/how we disclose our hobby to people is totally a personal decision and there isn't anything to say that someone who enjoys their dolls privately is embarrassed, per say. Me: my dolls are a big part of who I am and if ya want me you're getting all of me :P

 

Asyris, I think it's a shame that just because you're a guy, people think it's "weird" because you have dolls. Why not? As a teen, I loved cars, and was constantly hassled over it because it wasn't "feminine." I actually quit school because I was not allowed to take shop, and was told I had to take Home Ec.

Don't let small-minded people spoil your love for BJDs; it's their baggage, not yours! And yes, if one of my sons was into BJDs, I'd think it was cool. (I'm 66 years young)

 

Wintryabyss:

Good for you! Stick up for what you care about, and to hell with anyone who runs you down because of it!

 

The problem is, if it's a coworker, you can't exactly never speak to them again. I've worked at the same place for more than 16 years, and I have taken dolls in with me at least eight or ten times during the past seven years. I certainly don't call all of my coworkers my friends, but I spend more time with them than anyone else. If one of them says or does something hurtful, I will be less inclined to talk to them about my dolls, but it won't stop me bringing them in. And most of my coworkers have been nice rather than mean, and no one has been outright cruel. So I guess I am lucky that way.

Just like you, though, I feel self conscious when I do outdoor photoshoots, but if that's where I have it in mind to do a story, I will do it, no matter what people do or say. It's almost like a necessary "evil" that has to be got through to get what I want. I know there's nothing wrong with me. No one can make me think there is, and I won't let others change my behaviour. I know damn well that the people who make fun of me aren't the ones who are right.

I like to take a doll friend with me on photoshoots. You feel more confident and less self conscious that way.

Wintryabyss, I am SO GLAD you got your dolls back and are enjoying them again! What an awful thing to have happen. People who say things like that don't realize how hurtful they can be, it is life-scarring. In another hobby of mine, someone who didn't even know me gave me harmful, thoughtless criticism and I completely dropped that hobby cold turkey. I can still go back, I just have to take the hobby back up and forget about that person. It is SO hard to do. I know what you went through. And I often wonder if that person (or the other people with whom we participated in the hobby) ever realized what he did to me. It makes me angry that I let him do it, too.

Linda S.
galatia9

 

My mum gets mad at me if I even buy a pair of shoes with my own money, and she has absolutely no respect for my things and will throw my stuff away without asking. So no, I will not be introducing my doll to her. I have my own house at the moment and when I have to go home, I'll be keeping my doll at my friend's house, seeing as that's mostly where I live when I have to go to my hometown. There are some people who just won't get it, especially the money part, and I don't see the point in 'coming out' to them as it were about the doll stuff. There's really no point, and I don't feel like getting lectured.

As for taking her outside for photoshoots or meets, I think I will do photoshoots but not in heavily public areas. Maybe like woods or something. I just don't feel like explaining the hobby, really, and I don't want strangers touching her and damaging her. As for meets, I don't think I would go to one not in an inclosed area. I go to the Manchester one sometimes which has taken place in a lovely cafe where we get some weird looks, but it's not exactly totally public. I wouldn't want to go to one in like a park or shopping mall or something.

 

I sometimes wish I could have kept the price more of a secret from my parents but I wouldn't call it a dirty secret. I feel like I get negative looks from my mom because of it since she knows how much they cost after looking at a few sites with me. (Every time I've gotten a new one I've asked her for name suggestions and she says 'Expensive' ) She loves my girl, though.. it's the boys she figuratively glares at.

I don't have any shame for owning my dolls. I wouldn't bring them out in public just for fear of them getting damaged in some way, though.. That and I'm a bit possessive of them. So I wouldn't want random people asking to hold them and all of that..

It's also not something I'd just bring up in conversation with someone out of the blue. I'd just casually mention something about it and if they were interested in knowing more that's fine. If not... next subject!

 

I suppose they're a secret to an extent. I post pictures on my facebook of them sometimes, but I only accept requests from people I know enough to either 1. not be judged too harshly or 2. not care if they judge me. However, I don't generally carry them out in public in crowded places unless I'm with other people with dolls.

 

Dirty little secret? No, not really. Except maybe the price, although I will be honest about that if I'm asked directly (to some people, close family and friends only).

That said, I don't openly advertise it. I don't have a need to take them out in public. I do a few outside shoots but so far just within my own yard. I'd like to go other places for more variety but I'd probably keep it somewhere not so crowded. Mostly out of fear of dolls being damaged/stolen etc.
I turn 30 next month (ack!) so I don't really care too much anymore what other people may think of me or the things I do.
My family, friends and co-workers all know about my hobby, and they're all supportive even if they don't quite get it. They think the things I sew for my girls are amazing though, and that means a lot to me. My boyfriend is the best though, he helps me pick out names, wigs, eyes etc etc and will listen to me babble on about them for hours

 

it rally did sometimes. i live in a small town, people here even dont know what BJD is! so if i take my doll out, they appears so interesting and incredible with their price. that embarrass me some time. cuz a male with a doll in hand always appears strange in their eyes. so, i seldom take them out and seldom take part in any meetup. but as for my family and friends, they know me very well and get used to my hobby early, they feel nothing strange with my doll and playing with my dolls~

 

My mom knows I have dolls now but I don't tell her how many, I don't tell her how much I spend on clothing even though we live in the same house. She doesn't approve of my hobby she finds them creepy. I often buy dolls and send them to my friends house one because i like to make sure they are fine since I am visually impaired but its a lot about being respectful to my mom because she doesn't like them. I don't really care about looks in public who cares people ask that's fine I will explain most people in public are actually fascinated by them[SIZE=3].[/SIZE]

 

My family and friends know I like to collect dolls. I would like to take them out but I admit I am a bit embarrassed to do so. I'd love to have them on my desk at work but I would probably get stirred for it so don't do so, plus I'd be a bit worried they might get stolen.

 

For me, the dolls are something very personal. My partner knows about this hobby, my father did not. He would certainly not understand, let alone if he knew how expensive they are!

I really would like to take my dolls out, but not in busy places. Talk to strangers about my dolls is absolutely not my wish. If anyone would want to keep one of them, it would be unpleasant for me to reject it, but I don't want my dolls to be touched by a stranger. So my favorite are the places where I can photograph my dolls undisturbed.

 

Sharing dolls--

I'm all over the internet talking about dolls and I use my real name. I share my doll hobby in blogs and websites and forums. I have a website just for my dolls. I have a blog were I discuss my dolls. Etc.

Wandering around in public--- I go to a LOT of meetups. I have gone out on doll photoshoots. Otherwise, I don't carry my doll around with me. It's just that I don't like to do that (don't want to damage them more than I do hauling them around to meetups, don't want to bother with them when I'm trying to do other things, just don't get anything out of carrying a doll around!).

Talking with friends--If my friends are interested in my dolls, I will talk to them about dolls. If they are not doll people, I don't talk to them. It's only being considerate!!! I don't like forcing topics upon others. It's not hiding anything.

Hiding dolls if people need to come into the house--Heck no! I'd want to hide my dolls only to keep them safe. I could care less about repairmen or whatever. They don't rule what I like to do! Same with relatives or friends. I'd only want dolls out of the way to keep them safe, but that would be it. It really is safe to have dolls in carriers when traveling with them, and to keep them safe from damage while in the house... I have my dolls lying about, but it's not the safest thing for them. There are earthquakes that can happen, or just falling or getting fallen upon or light damage or whatever... but I like to enjoy my dolls, so I just try to keep a balance of protection and enjoyment...

 

I think it's more about the environment you're in, I live in New Zealand and here we have a VERY diverse cultural integration. Once in a while we have comic con like events (although not as big and less famous people) and at those events you usually get cosplayers and BJD fans. Heck we have an anime tea shop that just opened up and BJD owners get together there now to show off their dolls. I guess it all comes down to how conservative your community is

 

I don't really take them out of the house other than for photoshoots, but I've never really made them a secret either. They're on display in my bedroom and if anyone asks about them I'm more than happy to answer. I was a little nervous about how my boyfriend would react to it, because I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone that can't at least respect my hobbies. But he thinks they're really neat and likes the photography and writing aspects my best friend constantly asks how my girls are and my mother thinks they're adorable, so no negative reactions so far which makes me bolder when it comes to taking them out ^^

 

My dolls are not a secret. My mom knows all about them, and she's actually pretty supportive. The rest of my family knows about them, and they don't bother me about it -- they know it's something I enjoy. I'm glad to have such a supportive family.

 

My family knows and close close friend. But other than that I don't flaunt them or take them out. I also display a few at a time in the house , this way it won't spook anyone that comes to visit. Also I do not have plenty of spaces to display all , so have to rotate. I have one repair men walk into my house and was creep out with the dolls I displayed LOL

My family don't mind but its the price of the doll that they don't like. And selling them is hard for me to part and also most of my dolls I can't sale at retail value and sale below instead.

 

My family and close friends know about my dolls, and no one is really bothered by them. I haven't ever discussed the cost with anyone but my husband, though. As for taking my dolls out in public, I have done so to take pictures, but it's a really uncomfortable thing for me. I guess in some ways I would rather keep my dolls a secret

 

My doll hobby isn't a secret from my family and close friends. My mom loves my dolls though she does the mommy-nag at me for being too spendy on "toys". Dad thinks they are strange - but he doesn't go further than nagging. I don't bring out my dolls often - in a way, I think they sort of belong in the house!

 

No one except my bf knows the whole truth.
I brought one outside once and didn't like the "aw, you have a mental problem" pity reactions I got.
My sister knows how expensive they are and she is very poor-so I hide them from her... even though I live on pbj and have no cable tv.
My mother has alzheimers and even She shakes her head at me about them.
My best friend was shocked when I showed her a pic of one of them and told me to get a life.
So, yes I keep my secret now.