Is your doll habit a dirty little secret?

My parents don't react well to this hobby at all. My mother never liked dolls to begin with.
They'd probably dislike it even more if they knew how much I spent on it...
The only people that really know are my closest friends and my boyfriend. Even they think I shouldn't spend too much on this hobby but personally, I really love it so nothing will be able to stop me!

 

My doll hobby is a need-to-know thing. If people ask about my sewing, I'll explain that it's for the dolls, but I don't talk about the hobby other than that. Non-doll people do judge doll people. I'm not gonna lie, I was guilty of judging doll people before I became one. That's how I know, and that's why I don't take my dolls out of the house unless I'm going to a con or a meetup where I know it's okay to be "weird" like that.

I had to bring Dean with me into the local JoAnn once to judge the scale of a plaid I was looking at, and I could have died of absolute mortification. Middle-aged women giving me these looks, like "who is this freak and what makes her think that's socially acceptable?"... I read all these comments of people saying they've gotten nothing but positive responses and I can't help wondering what planet they've been taking their dolls out on. There's never been a time when I've not gotten stares for having my dolls with me out in the "real world." The only way I feel remotely comfortable with my dolls in public is if there are other doll people with me.

 

I dont mind showing off my dolls in public! I have done worse with wearing cat ears to funny outfits and getting into the lolita hobby iv dreamed of. Mostly i think mostly its my family who frowns upon it and threatens me with the "youll be those creepy doll ladies" if i go out in public with my dolls so i plan on doing it when i finally get my own place !

 

Ah, I suppose they are a bit of a dirty secret for me. I like the way the original poster thinks in terms of wanting to share the hobby with everyone, and honestly I used to share this sentiment, but around here I've had less of a positive experience.

As far as meetups and conventions? Yeah, I'd take my dolls out there. I'd probably even take them to a place as public as the mall for a meetup, but I've always been shy about taking them to my college. Since I'm a photo major, I've got full use of the studio and if I wanted to, I could go in and set them up for whatever I wanted, but I get so nervous because for once in my life, it seems like everyone enjoys my company. I don't want to scare them off, because I know some of them are 'afraid' of dolls.

I do, however, post pictures of them on Facebook to show my friends. Usually the people who don't like them were just acquaintances to begin with and have the freedom to unfriend me as they please. I just don't think I'd want to take them out and about by myself.

 

Yup, my primary object in taking my dolls out is definitely NOT to share them with everyone or to enable people. I do it because I have to, to get the photos I want. If I enable someone or have a nice chat with a stranger, that's great, but I do not plan to do that.

Linda S.
galatia9

 

I share all of my BJD and similar styled dolls with whoever. I get the bad stares, the whispered comments, the looks. I'm sure that everyone has, weather or not they notice it however, or acknowledge it is another thing. I have moments where I'm a little shy, but then I tell myself to suck it up and do what I like because I did not spend all this money to hide them away. It has also taught me that just because someone is looking at me doesn't mean its bad. If you look different people will stare, that doesn't mean they hate you or think your some freak in every case. And as someone who has a small touch of paranoia having a doll focuses peoples attentions. I think people are watching me, looking at me, so instead of trying to hide, which often makes things worse, I give them something to look at. And either they'll be pushed away, or they'll be drawn in. Either way it doesn't effect me negatively. I got them to enjoy them and do things with them and share them so that is what I'll do, regardless of what most people think. I've taken my 90cm Charls to Taco Bell before, taken my eye-less, wig-less Basal out to Hobby Lobby. Victoria and Lestat have been into my work, as well as some of my tinies. Heck I opened two of my tinies while on lunch in our break room. XD

Honestly how I see it is people will always find things to dislike you for, or things to call you weird/freak/strange about. People think its weird I have dolls. Or that I love cats. Or that I have three guinea pigs and keep them in a large dog playpen instead of a tiny store cage. Or that I like MLP, or Harry Potter, or want to learn Japanese, or want to move to Canada one day, or that I don't go to church. I find it so sad that any thing you like that isn't the social norm in your country/culture, or even just in your particular town, is suddenly a reason to dislike you or to stop being friends with you. Of course I don't dump everything on someone when I meet them. XD that's just asking for trouble. But I'll work things in. And sometimes I'll just out right say something to save myself from dealing with it later. All depends on the situation of course. But on a whole, hiding them doesn't do anything positive for me. It would only make me feel bad about myself.

 

Although I am not at all ashamed of my dolls, I have no interest in taking them out of the house. I enjoy keeping them inside, safely on top of my cabinet, but all who know me, also know about my 'strange' hobby. Really, I think I would have had a hard time sculpting dolls, if I was constantly thinking about what other people's opinions of me were.

When I was younger I took them to school with me a few times, but I never felt comfortable. I was always worried that something would happen to them, or that I would somehow loose them. They are important to me and I guess my way of showing this, is by keeping them inside.

 

I don't think its necessarily being ashamed as it is being judged. When I was younger, I got picked on. For that reason, I keep to myself.
Sometimes I wish I could take my dolls to public places (Supermarket,Mall,Etc)
But, for now I will continue to take them to a con where I feel I won't be judged as much!
Hopefully I can suck it up and bring them out!

 

Friends and family know I collect certain dolls, so I have a model for outfits I'm making. I haven't mentioned that bjd's are my newest obsession though, except on my FB BJD groups. I've only been collecting for about 8 wks though.

 

I talk about them the minimum necessary. I talk freely with my friends and people I know that is going to understand it. For example, my mother of course know about them because she was the first I needed to convince xD But my grandparents doesn't know about them, and wouldn't, if it is no necesary. I know my grandmother, she would think this is stupid, so I just don't want to argue with her.

 

They're not a secret, but I also don't take them out in public because I am not a very social person in general.

My family and friends have seen them, but are mostly uninterested in them.

 

I don't normally take my dolls out in public, but it's for fear of damage rather than fear of ridicule. I'm overprotective of my belongings in general. Otherwise, it's just something I do, like gaming, or cooking, or anything else. Some people will understand the hobby while others won't, and it's no big deal.

 

Yes and no. My close family knows, of course, because they see the packages arrive or catch me with that gas mask-like thing on my face when I am spraying MSC. Plus, when I am proud of a face-up or a dress, I feel the need to show it to them. At the same time, I know they feel ambiguous about my dolls and have filed my case in the "weird" folder :/. (My parents will say things like, "You know that's not quite normal for an adult woman, don't you?" *sigh*). It took all my courage recently to show one of my dolls to my grandmother, who used to be an excellent seamstress and who I knew would be interested in the doll's costume. The rest of my family don't know. They already judge me for being single and somewhat inconventional; I don't want to know what crazy theories they would come up with for my doll ownership D:.

I would never take my dolls out of the house except for meetings or conventions. Sometimes I feel like taking pictures of my dolls in a park, but I haven't the courage to do so and expose myself to stares.

My closest friends know I have dolls. One of them finds them scary. Another is into crafts and likes the dolls enough to accompany me to doll fairs; she doesn't mind being seen with a woman carrying a doll. The others... In fact, I'd like to show them the dolls because I am proud of them and I feel like they are part of who I am - but I suspect those friends are weirded out by the dolls but too polite to say it to my face. So I don't show them.

Some of my colleagues - those who like to paint and craft things - know that I own and customise dolls. Like others have said, I do my best to gauge what a person's reaction may be and then decide whether or no I'd mention my hobby. But I would certainly never *dream* of bringing a doll to work, for example. Goodness no.

 

My dolls aren't a secret, but I also don't go out of my way to talk about them or show them off in public either - it's not a topic that comes up very often, so I'm not sure why I'd even have reason to talk about them very often.

I do enjoy taking photos of the dolls outside, but if I take one hiking in order to get somewhere scenic it's going to be in a secure bag until we get there, so even that isn't terribly obvious. I've never had any negative comments from passersby when I'm taking photos either - people are almost always more likely to comment on my dog than they are whichever doll I have out – honestly, I thinking having a large camera gives you a little extra leeway for things like that.

 

Frankly, I don't see a single reason why should I be embarrassed or nervous. Or why should I keep my dolls being "a dirty little secret".

I perceive BJDs as a form of art - just like music/paintings/literature/whatever. I modify them, I paint them, I clothe them and all of that is incredibly enjoyable for me. Would an illustrator hide his sketches? Would a writer refuse to publish his writings?

I guess I can understand why a grown-up person would be uncomfortable with walking around public with a doll, on the other hand I still believe it to be just a matter of your attitude towards your own dolls.

 

no, not at all. All of my friends knows, my family, some relatives.
my shopping for clothes and shoes it is, although) I have the "change my wardrobe right now!!" rush almost every season.

 

I don't talk about them much to non-doll-people, unless they actually ask (which sometimes does happen). If I'm randomly asked if I have a hobby or what I do for fun, I'm not afraid to list "and I collect dolls" in my reply. I don't bring the dolls around everywhere with me, anyway; just for meetups & the occasional outdoor photoshoot.

But I don't keep it a secret, no. And maybe it's the freedom of age & experience-- but I don't give a crap whether or not people think of that Cabbage Patch Playdate video when they see me, or whether or not they automatically assume I'm a Crazy Doll Granny. I'm 43, I'm a middle-aged female, which means I am the Invisible Demographic to begin with... and I am at the age where you're supposed to develop eccentric hobbies, anyway... I am LONG past the giving-a-crap stage of my life! I am into doing my own thing, and if it happens to blow nearby minds, I just consider that collateral damage.

 

I talk about them to everyone. I'm a semi-well-known ^^ local artist. Was heavy into gallery shows and art walk exhibits for quite a few years. Now, I do some commission work, and mostly am "on sabbatical" . When people ask what I'm up to, I make efforts to explain my fascination with bjd and their validity as an art form. I think people tend to have some negative, pre-conceived ideas about doll collectors ~ but I've always been fairly unconcerned about being viewed as odd. It was harder to get over the reactions of my parents, even though I'm old enough to be a grandmother myself. I did keep it a secret from them at first. Just to avoid the hassles of their disapproval. That can be unpleasant, even when you get old. I'm single, childless, with no siblings, so nothing really makes me much aware of the fact that I'm no longer young. And my parents will never get that I am no longer a child. I think they have wrinkle blindness. Haaa, can't see MY wrinkles, or theirs. They live near by, and I love them, which all increased my desire that they could share my enjoyment, at least a little. AT last they warmed up to my bjd world, but it was a little rough bringing them together. My dolls, and my parents. The concept of a hobby, something like this done just for enjoyment -- not really within their grasp. {Especially the idea of spending money on a hobby. It helps when they can view dolls as investments} ~ My Dad is big into sports and they enjoyed getting together with friends to play cards, etc. Still, my doll collecting was hard for them to relate to as a social and fun thing, just like their gaming and other interests are. As to public opinion, I have no trouble with being out and about with dolls when going to local meets.

 

opps, re-post happened.

 

Alllll of this.
And if people come over, well... My dolls are all in my bedroom. They don't leave it. So unless someone comes into my bedroom (which never happens), they're out of sight. That said, I'm not actively hiding them or keeping them a secret or anything. I just don't announce them unless the topic goes that way, and I never try to fit them into conversations. But I'm not ashamed of them. I just think there's a time and place for everything, including hobbies.