Market place ETHICS (not rules) and the lack of!!

I have several things on layaway with sellers here on DoA, and I've had to do quite a bit of shuffling around with my money and suchlike. I've had to switch paypal accounts, I've been in the midst of moving house... blah blah blah.

That being said, I've never missed a payment (I've asked the seller permission to send them less one week and make up for it the next week... never actually missed a payment, though). I've always let the seller know exactly what's going on on my end and exactly when they'll have their money - even PMed them to make sure they got it.

I would rather take the heat for being a disorganised buyer than to just leave someone hanging like that. It's not on.

 

To go back to a post on this thread about the "sob story" sales posts, there was a suggestion of skepticism that the poster in question really did have a death in the family. So I did a search and came up with corroboration at Courier-Journal.com

"Indiana man is killed in warehouse accident

A 57-year-old Indiana man died Tuesday after he was pinned between his truck and another vehicle during a loading operation at the Kroger Distribution Center, the Jefferson County coroner's office said.

David Thompson of Plymouth died of blunt force injuries at 5:42 p.m. at University Hospital, said Bob Fraction, a deputy coroner.

Thompson was injured about 10:11 a.m. at the distribution center at 2000 Nelson Miller Parkway.

He was closing the doors to his tractor-trailer when he was pinned against his vehicle by another truck, Fraction said."

After verifying that this is not a fake, for heaven's sake have a little compassion for someone who is doing the best that s/he can.

 

You know, my heart goes out for that person's loss, but I think 99% of us are talking about the repeat offenders and the "sick cat/dog/self" syndrome that is fairly prevalent among a group of bad buyers in general, not this case in particular.

 

Actually the post I am referring to was quite specific, and concerned the objection to someone who was selling "junk" to finance her way to get to her uncle's funeral.

 

While its a good thing to point out the girl wasn't pulling a fast one, don't you think it's a bit much to post the poor man's name?

I also don't imagine everyone will scour the net to test whether or not their buyer is fibbing or not. Nor should anyone have to do it. The sad thing is that we'd even have to think about it in the first place because our trust has been so abused by repeated misuse.

 

I always try to remember to leave feedback but I do forget. And if I say I'll pay, I try to pay!

I did have to skip a payment on the last doll body I bought, only because my paycheck was way shorter than I expected. I PMed the seller, explained, and she was alright with it. I paid her on time the next time I got paid.

Most sellers and buyers so far I have found have been excellent people. Understanding and friendly and just great people to deal with. But sometimes I do forget to leave feedback because I get so busy and by the time I get online, I have been awake for at least 16 hours. (Waking at 4am does that!)

 

I have had too-many-to-list bad experiences with buyers who don't pay/don't keep in contact/changes their mind with stuff they have on layaway without letting me know- the list goes on- and at this point it's put me off selling stuff on doll boards.

I highly appreciate it when buyers take the time to PM to say ''hey, the item I bought from you received today!" Just as I think it's only fair of sellers to let the buyers know when the item has been shipped out.

About sob stories- I personally don't have a problem with it, if you don't want to read/buy from someone who posts a sob story along with their listings of item- then just press the 'back' button. It's no big deal imho.

 

I know who you mean. .. >.>

 

I WISH YOU WOULD. (see your bolded comment)

I can understand why you didn't feel comfortable leaving feedback, too. I did exactly the same a couple years ago... didn't want to look like a bitch, didn't want to hear the "oh you are so unfair! she is going through a hard time!" crap..... so I didn't post.

And I will never do that again. I still, to this day, feel horribly guilty about what happened to quite a number of DOA members AFTER my bad experience - and I can't help but think OMG I could have helped avoid this... if only I had posted, if people had maybe read my feedback and then not gotten involved, this wouldn't have happened...

I will make sure that if I do have something negative to say, I will be as objective as possible, post the facts, and post any good portion of the transaction. But I will post. And I will hope that, at least, people have seen me around here long enough, know me enough around here, to not assume that I'm just being mean and that I thought long and hard before I posted.

I think getting an expensive, limited head that was so poorly packed that it got damaged is deserving of neutral feedback. Yes you got the head, but it wasn't in the condition that it should have been, and the seller needs to be aware of this and if he/she isn't willing to amend the price (which is something I would have requested - *I* can't fix a faceup, I'd have to send it to somebody and pay) then he/she needs to learn how to pack.

I will say this much... I am routinely appalled at the ways in which items are packed to be shipped. $50 is a LOT OF MONEY for a doll item, be it a wig or a dress... for chrissakes, wrap it well so it survives the trip. You can get sturdy, clean priority mail boxes delivered FREE TO YOUR HOUSE from usps.com. Shipping a $200 head poorly wrapped so it got damaged?? Come on! I see a lot of people around here treating bjd stuff like it's a $5 item. Which never ceases to amaze me.

 

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, don't know how I missed this topic so far...
I feel like most of what I have to say has pretty much already been said, but that sort of thing happens a lot in these threads, and it's always nice to know where exactly people stand on this topic.

As has been said communication is key. I've gotten a lot of good feedback about my communication, but really all I've done is just tell it how it is and keep people updated on situations. As far as my marketplace transactions go I do more group orders than anything else, but with those I try to keep everyone as updated as possible, like if the company sends me an email about delay. I also do buying and selling as well.

If I'm going to buy something I make sure I can buy it before even PMing the person. I think someday I might run into a situation where if it's a day or two before payday and i really want something, I would not put it past myself to PM the person and ask if they could hold it for just a day or two until I get my paycheck and then I will pay them immediatly. But reguardless I will never ask someone to hold anything for me for more than 48 hours. That is as long as I'll hold anything for anyone else, so I don't expect a buyer to hold it any longer for me. I did feel a little bad on a recent potential transaction though. Someone was doing an auction and I asked what they wanted as the starting offer and they pmed me back and I didn't pm them back after that because I wasn't really sure I could commit till I got my paycheck. I felt bad because a couple of days later they pmed me to find out if I was still interested, so i then PMed them back immediatly and appologized that I hadn't pmed them back, and explained that I had gotten my paycheck and it had been smaller than expected so I couldn't afford opening bid at the time.

Selling - As far as holding i hold for 48 hours. I never officially offer layaways, but have accepted to do them but only for people I know personally or people I have had multiple good transactions with. And doing group orders I transact with a lot of people. I do my best to make sure I always let people know when I've received their payment and when I will ship their item. I'm sort of so so in wanting to hear back if they got it or not, for me a feedback sort of says "hey I got it" to me, but after seeing so many people who do like this as a buyer I think i will remind myself to send PMs like that more often.

As far as shipping, sometimes I will tell people what day I'm going to ship their stuff, like on a weekend I say "I'll ship it monday". Well if the weather is really terrible out, I'm not going to go ship it, but I pm the person immediatly to let them know "hey the weather is really bad out today so I'll ship it hopefully tomorrow if it clears by then". Most of the time people are fine with that and I appreciate them for understanding that I don't want to get out in a potentially hazardous situation. But this is where it all comes back to communication.

Communication & Commitment are two of the biggest things when handling any kind of business, especially with the expensive hobby we have.

But no matter what, if you have a good or bad transaction, you should always leave feedback. But if it's negative or neutral be tactful about it. And if the other person retaliates (which is why people apparently don't like to leave negative feedback), don't let it get to you. Be rational about it and just don't reply. Go PM a mod and let them know that the person is retaliating in attempts to egg you on.

 

Well I don't know whether to be more disgusted at fake family tragedy stories or real ones. It's still slimy to use them to sell your stuff. Just my not-so-humble opinion.

I feel compassion sure, but how grieved can she be if she is using her uncle's death to sell cheap used doll clothes? Before this tragedy she had another big excuse. She changed it as soon as a new drama came up. Strikes me as more calculated than emotional.

Raven

 

my friend has just had a similar problem... i also brought from the same seller at the same time and had no problem, but my friend felt she had to mention something on DoA to caution buyers about the problems she had.
The seller was downright rude and more or less accused her of lying all the time. I saw some of the emails and was shocked at the 'couldn't care less i posted your item, that's it' content.
The rudeness is what strikes me.
How hard is it to be polite and if there is a problem to work it out logically instead of having a slanging match in public?

As a seller i try to provide as best a service as possible and email people as to progress and ask them to contact me about ANY problems, i bend over backwards to make sure people receive and are happy with their purchases.

As a buyer i have had to pull out of 2 transactions, each time i contacted the sellers, explained and they were fantastic.

 

I feel the same way. It's at best inappropriate, at worst taking advantage of a tragedy to unload some junk.

 

This is excatly it. I figured I got the head, it was done with and I didn't need stirr up the pot anymore. But I've always felt guilty about it. If someone else gets ripped off by this seller, maybe I could have prevented that from happening by posting about my experience.

maggot; The rudeness is what always gets to me. I think you can tell your side of the story, stick to the facts as you know them. This is the main reason people don't post negative feedback. Nobody wants to deal with the onlsaught of name-calling and fan-girls accusing you of being mean and lying and blah, blah, blah... its just easier to keep quiet and lump it.

 

There is a rule that would help people butting into a FB thread to post "that is my best friend and she doesn't deserve this treatment!" ... that is... you cannot post chatter in a FB thread for which you were not directly involved with the transaction. The mods will delete it.

I know these feelings about not wanting to post exist... I have them too... I don't want to drag up negative situations, if it's over, it's over, I won't buy from them again or whatever, blah blah, but I really do personally feel strongly now about trying as best as I can to protect my fellow DOAers if I possibly can. That might not work for everybody, but that is my plan.

 

I agree with you Sher. Posting about a less than stellar experience either as a buyer or a seller might make us momentarily uncomfortable at having to relate the situation, but I think it does help keep the Marketplace a better place for all to transact in. If someone has had a hard time and gets tagged as "flakey", they can almost always redeem their reputation eventually, by apologizing and showing they can be a responsible person.

Juli DC

PS: As always, Juniper's past exploits are a welcome part of my Easter celebration, thanks for still having it up on her page.

 

O i totally agree, is why i never mentioned myself on the thread, i felt that a slanging match or a 'my friend says' was innapropriate even if i had been mentioned by the antagonist.

there gets to be the point where you feel you have to speak out if someone treats you badly, just keeping your head down doesn't really help anyone. it IS a shame that we do get these rude people who spoil the experience on the forums for us, but then we have to remember that we can ' please some of the people some of the time' etc

i'm wondering if there should be any way to make anonymous comment etc that would help people?

 

The problem with anonymous feedback is that it IS very possible for people to abuse that. Not most of us, of course - but some would. And there really is something to be said for "if you cannot post your name to something, perhaps you shouldn't post it." (Not saying YOU you, just "you" in general)

I have thought about this a lot since my negative experience which DID, lucky for me, end all right. Others weren't so lucky. And with all the scammers out there....... or people who aren't exactly scammers but do not follow through with their obligations after money HAS changed hands... feedback is really our only way to check up on somebody before buying. And the only way we can DO that, is if people leave it, good AND bad, or even a mix of the two.

We really should be able to say "I did get my head but the seller was extremely slow to ship. It took about 2 months for her to get to the PO." Or "I did get my dress but it was wrapped in newspaper which left black marks all over it. I had to have it dry-cleaned."

Of course there is a seller out there who, perhaps, didn't realize that newpaper might do that... so a PM is in order, first, I would say, and they'd be mortified and never do it again. But if they were blase about it, didn't offer to pay for the damages, or just were unpleasant "oh yeah? tough titties, you jerk, I don't care if you're unhappy!!" then I think posting FB is entirely appropriate.

 

I should have when another came to me about the same sort of problem, but she's so well known and I was a newbie at the time, I knew everyone would side against me. It's why I kept silent. I didn't want to be blacklisted for being a newbie.

 

The above issue - not wanting to leave a negative comment for fear of retaliation, or maybe because you are new, or because you want to be "nice" - is one of the main defects in online feedback systems. It's a recognized problem (I wrote an article on it years ago regarding the same issue on eBay). A lot of people would rather just not leave any comment rather than leave a negative one. The only time they will feel comfortable leaving a negative is if several other people are also leaving them - safety in numbers. You see that here when someone starts a "Problem transaction with X" thread and often about two or three other people will pop up and say, "hey, I had a problem with X also."

I think on DoA it may be doubly hard to leave negatives for the simple reason that negative comments everywhere else on the forum are discouraged/prohibited except for the marketplace feedback. It's hard to adjust to the fact that it's OK and maybe even a good thing to leave a negative feedback if you tried to work things out with the other person first and it just didn't fix it.

Unfortunately, making it anonymous doesn't really help. Too easy to smear people, and also, often easy for the seller or buyer to figure out who left the bad comment based on the details of the transaction, so it doesn't really get you anywhere.