Mothering instinct?

I think it could be true for some, but definitely not for all. I'm a 19 year old girl and, despite the desperation to get married, I don't have a maternal bone in my body. I could certainly see how some people would feel that way, though.
And strawberrily, that's what mothering is to some people xD

 

XD Uhm, no? I'm almost 27 and I don't really like kids. OPK's are fine for a little while. Like.... 10 hours. Maybe. But for myself? No way. An alley cat has more maternal instinct than I do. I like the dolls I have because they wait until I'M ready for them. I have a dog and there are times I can't even stand my Lily near me, so if I had kids, I'd probably be in a corner somewhere drooling and rocking myself soothingly.

No, dolls are not a maternal substitute, they're just fun and pretty and mine are all guys, and mini's. I like them because they're quiet. I barely deal with a dog, could I really deal with kids?

 

For me I don't think so at all. I like male dolls... specifically beautiful sculpts that have the sort of faces I find highly attractive in men. I like some female sculpts too-- but so far I've only committed to male sculpts. Perhaps as time passes this will change.

 

Hmm, interesting point... Me, I'm 21. I'm not really sure if I can handle a baby just yet. I'm actually kinda scared of the whole parenting business, 'cause I've no idea just HOW you are supposed to be a parent.

But my doll calls me "momma" on a regular basis. For me, the relationship feels more like "younger sister-older sister", but... she does. I can see that I probably won't be a very good parent tho, I neglect her way too much =)

 

I believe the urge to nurse and care for someone or something and keep it safe is present in most females, which makes us more prone to buy dolls, animals or plushies

 

Uhm.... Apparently not, because most of the responses I've skimmed over in this thread say "NO WAY". XD Apparently we just aren't those 'most females' here. XD I don't buy dolls or anything to cuddle or care for. I buy the dolls cause they're pretty and and I like pretty things. I have one dog whom I can't always stand being near me, and the only stuffies I own are my Christmas bears whom I only buy one of a year and never touch. They go in the closet.

We're just not maternal types. XD Oh well, there are enough other people over-breeding to make up for our lack. I know, I used to live down the road from a family who had a kid in every grade from first to 12th and two of them were in mine and I was only in 11th! XD

 

I'm with the majority I don't dislike children, on a case-by-case business, but I don't understand them and it's safe to say that I don't really trust them. They're too in touch with their own instincts I prefer adults with a healthy dose of self-repression!

That being said, I care a lot about animals and perhaps my maternal instinct comes out there, but it's not so much a "ooh cute little baby I want to nurture you" thing. I like animals because they don't judge and their company is so soothing. Not because I want to be their mother!

As for my dolls, I have no maternal instincts for them. I do feel responsible for them, and feel slightly guilty if I leave a prudish one undressed for too long, but that's empathy.

I think sometimes it's easy to confuse empathy with maternal instincts.

 

Sorry for the double-post, but I saw this and had to ask: if you sometimes barely stand to have your dog near you, why do you have her? And if you barely deal with it, should you really have one? I don't mean to be judgemental, but you don't sound as if you have much fun with her!

 

I do have fun with her, but sometimes I just get tired of her constantly laying on me and jumping on me. Besides, I got the dog for my mum whom I live with, because I work nights and the dog is company for her. I have always had dogs (or any other furry animal I could fit in my house/apartment), and the 'sometimes' is usually like, after I'm sick of playing with her for 10 hours and I want to lay down and take a nap and she's still jumping on me. XD

Definitely don't have THAT problem with dolls!

 

Well... I'm a 21 year old gay guy that hates children with a passion. :P I prefer to have mature looking dolls. I enjoy having them as an artistic/ creative outlet. I don't think of them as my 'children' or anything. I think that's kind of creepy... > >'

So definitely doesn't apply to me. :P

 

I dont have a mothering-bone in me, some may think me cruel but I think babies are ugly things >.< I have yet to see a baby I can identify as 'cute'. I dont want a kid either (nor relationship for that matter, I'm a little different than the adverage joe lol)
i can understand for some they may bring out a mothering instinct but in my head it wraps around as a shift in sanity (I'm not good with people...) I molly coddle and spoil my cat yes and my little brother (who is like a foot taller than me >.> pin stole my height!)
I do have a protective instict towards the two dolls I do have however. But they are not bought peices of resin, my boys (yes I do refere to them that way, same way I refere to my 2ft panda that I occationally take to college and around the city) were sculpted by me. I created them with my own two hands and as such I feel a strong artistic attachment to them. Hell I even painted thier eyes, spent a damned good ammount of time deciding what I thought was aestetically appealing. I get precious with them still because I have yet to cast them >.< however long that will take V.V
sorry I am rambling. In short personally I dont do this mothering shiz but I have seen people who have (those baby ladies, I seen one on tv once with rooms filled with them, I thought that was a bit eccesive, one or two is good but hundreds is scary point and you should just adopt.).
still this is an interesting topic so I am going to keep an eye on this :3

 

Yes, that is, unfortunately true. You only need to look around any upper middle class suburb to see that much.

 

Wow - a lot of mixed responses and all very interesting. I'm nearing 40 and in a long term relationship & childfree, and have never wanted to have kids, except when I was 15 or 16 and I had absolutely no idea what it meant. Once I grew older and saw people around me having kids and just how hard it was, how much of a sacrifice you have to make and how you lose so much of "you" in the process, all desire to have kids went out the window. Having said that I don't dislike kids - I have worked with kids, as an art educator, and with disabled kids as well and it was very rewarding and a lot of fun (but damn hard work). I think people who choose to have kids for the right reasons are very selfless and to be admired, and let's face it - someone has to breed or we'll go extinct!! LOL!!.

I actually love more child-like dolls and the main aesthetic I go for is the chubby cheeked cutie. I also have many other kinds of dolls including a couple of reborns. But they are dolls. Clean, tidy, non-needy, responsibility-free chunks of pretty resin! I like the sweet, innocent aesthetic display part of it - something pretty to look at. It can be fun to dress something in a cute, pink, frilly dress and coochie-coo over it but in the end it's not a child. I find it quite upsetting that anyone would have kids because they wanted something to dress up in cute clothes! If you choose to have kids you are bringing another human being into the world - you don't own them - they are their own person, not anything for dress up or display (don't get me started on beauty pageants for kids!). Dolls are my possessions - they are cute and sweet but they are "things" not people. There is just no comparison between a doll and a real baby. Having said that I think humans are evolutionarily hard-wired to respond in a caring/nurturing way to things with big eyes and big heads etc (baby seal anyone?), so there may be some sort of unconscious appeal to that part of me in there somewhere - the operative word is "unconscious" though! In the end I wouldn't worry about it so much if I were you - just enjoy the dolls in any way you want to.

 

Baby seals are about 100000000000x times cuter than any human baby I've ever seen. Human babies are actually rather gross looking most of the time. It's part of why I don't like reborn dolls. They're all ugly. Even the most unattractive BJDs are still better looking than a reborn doll.

I am 100% childfree and I am considered middle aged now, and I do have a lot of built up annoyance/resentment towards a society that constantly tries to force women to give in and breed. Try being 30 and asking about permanent birth control solutions. You always get the ridiculous "You'll change your mind when you get older." No, no I will not and it is highly insulting to hear that all of the time. Much like it is insulting to hear that I must want to nurse and care for things simply because I was born with some random extra body parts. Hell no. I certainly don't want to hear it from fellow hobbyists who I would hope would understand people's motivations better than the muggles.

Considering I am quite happy to keep all of my collections boxed where I never see them, I really can't see how people would extend that to me wanting a baby. I think if someone actually said that to me, I'd have to call them a moron to their face, because really? I would ask how dumb a person can be, but the human race's capacity for stupidity is boundless.

 

I've been insisting that I didn't want kids for almost 20 years (yes, since I was 8 years old) and people still insist that 'someday you'll change your mind'. -_-; I think, since I will in about five months be 27, that 'someday' will be when I am too old to even conceive anymore. Heck, I can't even keep a man around (this may have something to do with my living with my mother, but I love her and she does need help) long enough to think about anything permanent, let alone breeding another generation of social sheeple. I live in a very closed-minded place, so that's kind of what the humans here are like. -_-+

No, I'm good, I'm okay with OPK's, so that I can give them back when I'm done playing with them. I saw how much 'fun' my half-sisters were when I was 8, and how much 'fun' my friends are having now raising their kids, and in no way is that for me. Not a snowman's chance in hades.

 

I wouldn't have a real baby if my life depended on it. I have no patience with them and little enjoyment. I would much rather have children who are already free-thinking adults. That being said, I prefer older-looking BJDs (preferably SD sized). They are literally small enough to "baby" (i.e. carry in one's arms), when I feel like it, but they also look like they have minds and lives of their own (proud mommy!) So, yes, the motherly instinct is a factor, but only in a specific way haha

 

I completely agree with this!! I actually DID find a doctor to permanently sterilize me when I was 24 and my husband was 20. It wasn't easy, but we did go through with it and I have no regrets! (part of the reason they agreed was because of my medical history, not just choice) I do not like, nor do I ever want, kids. My husband feels the same.

However, I DO have nurturing instincts...just not towards human children. My first reaction to a crying baby has never been 'Oh, poor dear, let me hold you", it's been "Where's my duct tape?" But I do feel the urge to cuddle and care for pets and dolls. I have the patience for a doll. It doesn't cry or beg or whine or annoy me, which makes me WANT to cuddle it and buy things for it. I do refer to Amir and Loki as "my kids", though I do realize there is a very big difference in dolls and real kids. So, yes, I do take out nuturing instincts on my dolls, but I'm not sure its "motherly" instincts and I think both types of instinct vary greatly from person to person. If you WANT real kids, no amount of dolls will make up for it. but for me, I ONLY want the dolls, no kids, ever.

 

Goodness, what a relief of a thread. I am clearly not alone. I don't like kids, either, didn't play with dolls when I was a child myself, and felt as though I was violating some sort of personal code when I became interested in BJDs as an adult. I also didn't want my in-laws or friends to know about my little resin habit, in case they accused me of being "clucky" but in denial. Far from it. I pray daily for early menopause.

So far the doll types which appeal to me most are anthros (beasts are safer than humans), dolls of indeterminate age... smart enough to have soul and experience, but also smart enough to never join the adult world entirely. I don't find the childlikeness "cute" as such, but I do find it less depressing to contemplate than a realistically adult body shape. At the other end of the scale, really chibi proportions put me off, much as actual babies and small kids do. I prefer androgyny as well: sexuality is just another real-life adult burden that I'd prefer to spare my dolls from.

As a lot of you seem to have done, I channeled a lot of my maternal instinct into vet nursing, and looking after hopeless boyfriends. I have a cat of whom I am very fond, but like KarieChaos, I couldn't handle it if she was constantly trying to sit on me and beg for attention. Luckily she is quite reserved, happy to be near me, but we respect each others' spaces. (Most) cats are good that way. As are BJDs.

Short answer: perhaps there are maternal drives underlying all of this, but they're extremely well camouflaged.

 

I think it really depends on the person. I, for example, am in a wonderful relationship, and engaged. I also own a few pets, so I already have the nurturing thing covered. But, I still love having dolls.

 

I order dolls of all ages. For me the personality is the most important.
I want a doll collection that's varied and wide.
Like the characters in a book! A book is a lot more interesting when you have a wide variety of characters.

Since I love to come up with background stories that are connected to the stories of my other dolls, it's important they together make up for a wonderfull, complete story filled with awkward situations and relations between those dolls.


But, a part of me does understand you! I too, have been paying a lot more attention to dolls that I think would make ' a cute son or daughter '.
I remember I showed a doll to my mother recently and said I wanted my daughter to look like that.
or when I'm wig shopping I think about finding a man with similar hair so my kids could have such hair as well.
Plus... I do call the last doll I ordered ' son '. simply because I grew SO attached to him XD

I'm 22... an age most women start thinking about kids.
I first need to find a guy though :')
Plus I do know it's still way too early for me XD

So I'll keep it with dolls for now