Mothering instinct?

i am 20 something as well, my mothering istinct actually started showing up about five years ago... i do want childrem but i don't think i could have them on my own (maybe adopting one, in the future...)

i have five cats at home and i love them, i do care them more than my dolls
i'm sewing and crochetting for my dolls, trying to paint them, restringing and sueding
i consider them just like little beings who need me but not as a child would and i don't consider me as their mother either
i actually consider most of them as my own age, or so, and it would be weird XD

my dolls are mostly grown-up, my narsha and brownie are the most child-like looking
and now i'm starting wanting yo-sd size, i actually think that's just a way to get to know different doll sizes... it is?

 

I think yes, one of the reason to have a doll can be mothering instinct. Other reasons can be: loneliness, need of loving someone, childishness, dream to be allocated from community, loving of beautiful things, ideas of interesting photographs... There many reasons, usually they are mixed, and one man buys a doll because he associates it with child - and another because he's a collectioner of art-objects. There is no need to unite all cases=)

 

If someone straps their dolls into car seats and has their dolls calling them "mommy" in photo stories, I would say they're using their dolls as a substitute for human children. (I do not believe in the so-called "biological clock," but I don't discount there may be a "social clock" that prods young women to believe they need to breed now or forever hold their peace and develop anxiety about it.) Some people treat their dolls like babies/children. And if that's how they want to go, then okay. Whether that means they should have REAL children ... well, that's up to them.

For me, dolls are nothing like having kids. I don't like kids (I teach kids, and I think anyone with baby-rabies should teach kids and then see how they like it) all that much and have no maternal instincts. Dolls aren't real and require no care whatsoever the way a kid or a pet does. I buy dolls because I like the way they look, whether they're adults or kids. I'm far more interested in the miniature aspect of them than pretending they're real people. I am not their mom, they are not my kids.

So maybe it's like that for someone. Maybe someone likes to have a doll because they wish they were a parent. But ... definitely not all of us.

 

I do have kids, so while it may be for completely different reasons, I still couldn't agree more!

Some of the most outstanding qualities of the formative years are the noise, the mess, the bodily functions, and most importantly, the effusive displays of love. I'm not being obtuse - I'm just honestly having trouble wrapping my brain around the concept of doll ownership having anything whatsoever in common with motherhood. If anyone has evidence to the contrary, I'd love to be enlightened.

 

For me NO. I like dolls because I admire lovely things, I appreciate the work and
love that went into making them, I enjoy objects that were created out of inspiration.
I've had creatures nearly my whole life, in particular my cat Charlie (who passed away last year)
that I hand fed from only a week old, he lived to be 21. So perhaps the mothering side of me
has already been fulfilled.. Animals require love and care, they need attention (yes, just like
children do) doll's don't require any of those things, they can be tucked away and forgotten
about, and when you return , given that they were kept safely, they'll show no signs of having
been. Dolls are dolls, we can love them & care for them and even give them personalities
that seem as though they "care" for us but we know (hopefully) that they can't.
That said, if others find comfort or some form of fulfillment by having dolls and feel that
they make up for what could otherwise not be had then I think that's really nice, and I
wouldn't want to make them feel differently

 

I certainly do feel myself go into "mama" mode whenever I'm around my doll or my sister's. Everything has to be just right, and even though I know they aren't real people, I look for signs as to whether or not they like what they're wearing, the way they're sitting, or other such things.....it's creepy and obsesive, but it makes me happy and releives the stress I get everywhere else. I'm sure the feeling will go away as soon as I have a REAL baby of my own, but for now.....I'm not going to try to hinder it. ^_^

 

I am my dolls' mother, but only in the sense that I created their personalities and histories.I even love them, but in no way do I ever equate them to having children. If I was placed in a situation where I had to either protect the kids I work with at school or my dolls, there would be no hesitation in my choice. I would choose the kids at school. Dolls can be replaced. True children can not. So no, I don't see dolls as a way to fill the mothering instinct.

 

I can't see the aspect of "mothering" BJDs. I think motherhood is so complex and so difficult that it would be difficult to replicate it with any doll type.

I collect "child dolls". I have artist dolls (like Himstedts) that look like real children. I also have a pair of reborns. I even have teddy bears. And, the dolls I prefer to collect are YoSD and MSD sizes. But, I don't have ages for them because I like to recreate their looks over and over again. But, my dolls express my inner child. I don't treat the dolls like children. As a child I played with many doll types and I now collect many doll types.

I suppose I "mother" my cats (you would think cats would be independent, but mine aren't!). I feed them, bathe them, trim their claws, trim their hair, wash their faces, clean their ears, keep the environment clean (including litter box) and play with them. In other words, I care for them and interact with them in a way that could NEVER compare to a doll. When they need me I'm there, but dolls don't need me. I don't even need dolls - they are a want. As a result, I would see dolls as a way to express something within a person. It could be the desire to have a child (which I don't have, cats are enough, thanks), but that doesn't necessarily translate into dolls being like children except perhaps in appearance.

But only my view on it.

 

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! I have a strong dislike of kids. I like other people's kids cause you can give them back when they start whinning and crying and pooping. Even when they are being good, they make me uncomfortable. I have no mothering instinct what so ever. I have cats, and they are headache enough.

I collect mostly the grown up men looking dolls, and I like the dolls cause they are cool looking and fun to change up. Its just a hobby and nothing else. They appeal to the artistic side of me, and sure, its nice to have a bunch of good looking faces around. I don't neccessarily feel that I'm "caring" for them. They are possessions like anything else. Yes, sometimes I talk to them without thinking, but I also yell at stupid people on tv, and tell my clothes I don't like them when I'm having wardrobe issues. So, uh, ya, thats my 2 cents. They are just dolls for me, not replacements for kids.

 

LOL I hope not!! I'm sure if I left a child on a shelf for days and weeks at a time I'd be in a little trouble.

 

I haven't read any other post than the first, but I have to say that it can be different for each individual. I've pondered the same as you, being 26 years and still a student, no job, no boyfriend, and I have no intention on having children... ever... But I love cats and kittens and tend to baby them a little, I've started looking at more mini dolls too. I do believe I have a biological clock even if I don't want kids. But in my own opinion, in my case, the two are not connected. I have always loved cute things, but never cared for kids.

 

I find that for myself, having a cute YoSD or MSD have no significance to wanting children. Dressing up a childlike tiny could be considered subconscious mothering, but in the end, it's because we find it cute to do so. Anyone can find a cute babycostume cute (See Anne Geddes; photographer), but it doesn't mean that our mothering instincts are flaring up.

I'd like kids, sure, but pets are so much easier to mother than inanimate dolls Cuddling them is so much more fun as well!

 

I think the only way I'm mothery to my dolls is the way I talk to them I kinda almost talk to them as if they're a young child sometimes which isn't really intended I guess its cos of the fact that to an extent you have to look after them buying them clothes cos they obv cant choose for themselves and stuff.

However most of my dolls older 18, 19 20 so because of their age I do see them more like that rather than consider they're a child alternative/replacement. They're my characters come to life to an extent and that's all they'll ever be.

I think probs because dolls are often associated with motherlyness and children play with dolls to play 'house' people may think there's some parallels with it but I don't think its a sign of maternal instinct as such. I want children sooner rather than later but I know they'll always be detached from my dolls (unless I manage to coax them into the BJD world :P)

 

No, not me. I don't like little kids. I can tolerate them for short periods of time if they're well behaved but overall I'm not fond of little rug rats. Cutesy dolls are great but I don't think of them as my "kids" regardless of their size or cuteness.

Az

 

A very interesting topic.

Not for me. I don't even know if I want kids, I like them but I'm a wimp about pain... I really like mature minis. Here's the part where it gets confusing. I do not like doll bigger than 48cm. I just don't MSDs fit into my arms perfectly and I really just like to carry them around (this is almost a mothering thing) and I baby talk to them (even though I know they would hate it). But I really don't think it's me trying to have something that represents a child. At least I hope...

 

Not for me! For one thing, I don't have kids and I don't have much of a mothering instinct (not that I couldn't--it's just not something that's big or important to me). I also like more adult dolls, but cute things are nice, too. Also, like some others, I like fantasy dolls... so I'm not thinking at all of mothering my grown hooved, horned men, for instance!

For another thing, as others have said, dolls are absolutely nothing like children! They aren't even like pets! Anyone who thinks so will really have a big shock if they ever have to take care of a helpless living creature. Dolls can be modded, frankensteined, kept in a box, taken apart, left sitting for ages, dressed however you like... these things are not at all true of children. And if you think dolls are expensive...!

For some people, perhaps, they like the whole playing at mothering thing... but it's not all that close to mothering to own a doll, really.

Heheh. I've seen little kids with dolls---they often leave them lying about headless and naked... Definitely not a good maternal instinct at work there. And hey--plenty of BJD owners leave their dolls lying about bodiless or headless and naked, too!

 

Yes and No.

Yes because I love children but do not have any and my dolls emulate a child in my imagination.

No because the dolls themselves are inanimate.

 

Hm, well im not exactly interested in the child like dolls, unless needed, but i dont think it's a replacement for children. You might just want something to keep your attention, and dolls have a way of doing that i'd admit. lol.

you just like the cute dolls, and theirs no problem with that(:

 

I guess in a way it can be. I'm turning 18 soon, so I guess I can't say much, but I do treat my resin child like a kid of my own sometimes. I'll talk to her every once in a while (especially when I'm using her as a model or making clothes for her), and sometimes I'll kiss her goodnight on the head. But I think its just a loving instinct.

 

This post reminds me of the time my dad asked me about my SD13 boy "Is he your baby?"
I told my dad "Nope, he's more like a pet - except no poop to clean up"
(BTW: I have taken care of animals before)

Though not the same as animals or children, they give me the feeling that I want to take care of them, buy little things for them, and take them around like a little teddy bear companion. The caring aspect is definitely there.

My Lati Yellow definitely brings up some mothering instincts because (in my mind) his eyes and face seem to say "Momma!" when I look at him .

However, I believe it is as Irmiel says:
It is just a loving instinct.