Mothering instinct?

Aesthetically, I don't find children or child-like dolls attractive at all. I'm sure if I paid a therapist to find some kind of freudean connection, it could be proven that subconsciously dolls stand for child figures for me. You know how these things are. You say you don't want kids, they tell you it's because you really really want them. But I never wanted to be a parent, neither to a real nor a resin child, so I must say, for me, personally, no mothering instinct is involved, because I don't think I have any.

 

We are hardwired to find that type of face appealing. That is scientifically proven. The big eyes, round cheeks and rosebud mouth are part of our being human. After all, we don't want to eat our young! I also think that the female/mothering thing kicks in unknowingly, and adds more appeal. Don't worry, you are a normal human!

 

Yes, I have become something of a vicious mama bear. v_v Woe to those who dare to damage my doll!

 

I don't relate to that at all. I'm mid-forties and childless through choice. I like my dolls to look like youngish adults and actually get a bit creeped out by a lot of the tinies! Not my cup of tea at all. Dolls are beautiful fantasy creatures to dress up, photograph and marvel at for me... I don't "look after" them except to keep them out of the sun light and try not to drop them on their heads too often (I would not have been a great mother!)..

Still - each to their own and if mothering your dolls works for you, well good luck to you and yours

 

Well.... pretty much everything in nature is programmed to respond to baby faces, especially for women.

I would agree with the "don't overanalyze" argument. If you're not caught up in a relationship or with kids it's natural you have more time and energy to put into your hobby. Liking the younger dolls is a preference that a lot of people have. Though, of course, nobody can tell you how you feel specifically.

In general, I feel some mothering instinct towards my dolls regarding protecting them and making them comfortable (I cringe when they're sitting in awkward positions and the like), and I call them "my kids". I would want to save them before my XBox in a house fire. ... ok, maybe I mother them a bit more than I thought XD.

 

I'm sure you could find a psychology student who would tell you that you're fulfilling a maternal desire with dolls, but if you don't feel a desire for children and you do feel a desire for dolls, you're not doing anything wrong! For me, my tinies fill some of that mothering gap. I have two sons, but I've always wanted a daughter. It's unlikely that my husband and I will have any more children, so I have a small flock of girly-girl dolls who I can drown in lace and frills. I don't feel the same way about my dolls as I do my children, obviously, but they do somewhat "soften the blow" of not having a daughter to spoil.

In my humble non-professional opinion, all of us who own these highly artistic and expensive dolls are doing it for a reason. Not necessarily to relieve a compulsion to nurture something, but we all have a reason beyond "because it was there" for spending $500+ on a doll. Owning a work of art, painting a three-dimensional humanoid canvas, practicing fashion design on a small scale, or bringing a favorite character to life, we've all got something that drives us to buy and adore and at least a little bit obsess over this particular kind of doll. I don't think it's as simple as any one explanation, but I do think it's pretty cool that so many people from so many different walks of life can come together and be passionate about this hobby/art/what ever it is to you.

 

I personally feel that I'm filling in some sort of need-to-mother-something gap with the doll hobby. I dislike children, and I dislike child-like dolls, but a doll is still something that requires a certain amount of care and commitment that gives you a satisfying sense of taking care of something and feeling proud of it. My dolls are both grown women and fairly busty, but they still feel like something that is just mine that I need to take care of. To tell the truth, I was going to try and get a hypoallergenic cat, but it turned out I was allergic to it (now there's some luck...) so I spent the money on dolls instead. Maybe that's why I feel "motherly" towards them since they took the place of something I was planning on mothering... At least I won't be allergic to resin.

 

Personally, I know that my love for my dolls is 100% unrelated to any desire to reproduce. I think I can see how in some cases it can be, but I know I'm definitely not one of them. I like all types of dolls, especially PIPOS anthros that remind me of the stuffed animals I had as a kid. I think if anything, my doll interests come from a desire for escapism similar to what I had as a kid. My yo-sds are most likely a reflection on how I view my child self, and the things I wish I had done or the things I wish I had before it was too late. And my young adult/teen dolls will probably be the same kind of thing when I'm old and decrepit.

In short, not child substitutes, but physical manifestations of self-reflection.

 

I do not use my doll as a child or baby (do not have any baby dolls either only teenagers) but I do buy dolls to fill the hole in my heart for not having a baby. A real baby I mean I like to dress my dolls and give them a name,for some reason it has to do with having a human baby but I can't explain how it feels for me And baby dolls are really attractive for me but I do not have money to buy every doll,I have only 2 dolls now. I hope there will come a real baby soon or a new doll hehe. I like the new Soom baby Neo Angelregion Nappy Choo a lot!

 

Not for me really. I mean, I love my girl, but BABIES

I am kind of baby crazy and cannot wait to have children. And no doll, no matter how lovely could ever work in the place of a child for me.

But I can definitely see how this could happen. People have the instinct for pets, and anything that you start to lavish attention on exclusively can become more then it's parts.

 

In my case, I think it may be something similar. I'm only 14, of course, and at least for now, I NEVER WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN. I'm sure I'll change my mind later, but for now, it's not a thing I want. On the contrary, the dolls I tend to like are the SD young men, like my migidoll Ryu. I give them nerdy personalities. ^ ^

I think it's because even though I don't like anyone, and would never gat a boyfriend just for the sake of having one, deep down I want to be with someone. Not sexualy, but just someone to love who loves me back who isn't a relative, an animal, an inanimate object, or imaginary.

Where is my real life dollie?

 

It's funny. I think three years ago I would've responded very differently on this thread than I will do now.

I've NEVER been good with kids. I don't know how to talk to them, how to act around them. I *once* got offered a sitting gig, and refused. Kids make me nervous and akward. Whenever I do something right around a child, where the child seems to respond happily, I'm happily surprised and relieved! I, too, felt that I had as much mothering instincts as a wet paper bag.

And then, three years ago, I got pregnant. I've always known that if I got pregnant, I would keep my baby. I'm not sure if I ever would have *tried* to have kids, simply because I wouldn't have any confidence in my mothering abilities.
I'm now the mother of a wonderful 2 year old girl, and despite the fact that I have very strong mothering instincts, and am a very loving and very capable mother (something I could never have imagined before her birth), I still have NO clue how to interact with kids other than my own!

The only dolls I am *really* attracted to, enough to buy them, are tinies. Their size, their adorable little faces, it makes them perfect for me! That being said; Lusion Doll Dahlia scares the beejezus out of me.. 80cm of resin toddler? *shudder*

I, like many other here, think you shouldn't overanalyze. Are your, what you suspect are "mothering instincts", satisfied by your dolls? If so, then is there even an "issue" to speak of?

 

I wondered the same thing when I was having trouble getting pregnant-- my husband and I were together for ten years before it happened (after we had given up...). I worried during that time about my attraction to dolls-- that they were filling a rather large void. But the thing is, I have always been attracted to dolls. That attraction hasn't diminished now that I have a child (age 10!) and it didn't go away during babyhood either. So my worrying was for nothing.

It might be concerning if you were collecting reborns, walking around town with them in a stroller and showing them off to people as your child. You can't nurture a piece of resin-- that's restricted to human-human and human-animal interactions. But it doesn't sound like you're doing that. You're just collecting lovely, adorable Pukis and Brownies. So no, I don't think this is an attempt by your subconscious to fill the mother-child gap!

 

This for me too.

I like dolls because it's like having a beautiful tiny person you can mess with however you want. XD;;
This is NOT a good way to see children. XDDDDDD
That's how you get those freaky pageant moms. o_o

 

For me, nope. I have the maternal instincts of a house brick. Any biological clock I may have had has never made itself known, and as I'm 40 this year, I don't expect it to put in an appearance now. Fortunately, I'm married to a man who also doesn't want children.

Even as a child I've never liked baby dolls or childlike dolls (I did have a baby doll - I took her out in her pram exactly once, and never played with her again) - they can look cute, but I feel no pull to them. But the games I used to play with my dolls, and the stories I tell with them now, aren't suited to childlike dolls or baby dolls.

However, when we had cats I would call them my mum's grandkits - when we got them, I actually called her up to tell her she was a grandparent - fortunately she has a strong heart and a good sense of humour (And no, despite that, they weren't child substitutes either - they were friends who happened to have four legs, a tail and fur)

 

If my doll represents my mothering instinct, I can never be allowed to have a child... Ever. XD

I'm definately in the mothering-instincts-of-a-wet-paper-bag group. It's not that I don't like kids, I just don't know what to do with them. I just turned 20 and I don't have any plans of having kids in the near future (I'm not going to say "never" because right now I'm doing a lot of things I thought I'd never do, like buying $500 dolls XD). My doll and all the characters planned for the future are all adults. So I don't think that's the case for me.

I don't think there's anything wrong with using dolls as some kind of outlet for the mothering instinct, but for me my doll is more like some kind of "silent friend" than a kid...

 

Yep... this is exactly me, too. =.= Kids are big No No's... Dolls? Big Yes Yes...

And no, they're not subtitutes of each other. Never will be.
Biological clock? .....................What's that? =.=

Traditionally, people think females my age should have a husband and children.
I'm not a conservative. I'm unique. I don't want to do what I don't want to do! >.<
If I want dolls and I don't want children (or husband!), then be it.

 

I'm accused often of mothering my doll, but I don't really care. I have fun making her cloths carrying her around, and in general taking care of her... I wouldn't go as far as to treat her like an actual living breath creature...

Also I agree with anbaachan... though personally I like almost all the dolls as long as they have a sweet face (I prefer happy dolls ^w^ )

 

Interesting to read this thread, as so many seem not to be interested to have children or even like kids in general. I thought I had already answered here but seems that not, so I do say my word just for the statistics if nothing else.

I myself love little children, I´m now about 30 and have been very attached to children whole my life. I am the eldest of our sibling group, and have worked last 12 years in day care area. I´ve always wanted a family, preferably a big one, but am single and have no kids yet. I know for many people seeing my dolls make them think they´re here to patch the empty place of missing children in my life, but I don´t think that way. I could never compare a real child for a doll. I guess I just seem to like babyish features and I think child dolls are the cutest, but I don´t think them as my babies, or call myself mommy for them, nope. That would feel so odd for me. I wasn´t interested of this hobby as long as I thought it was just fantasy characters and big asian looking male dolls. When I saw Littlefee dolls in their promo pics, I fell for them, because of the cuteness.

I guess those people who want purposedly to buy baby dolls to make herself feeling like mommy, would buy reborn dolls or something more like that; even though some bjds also have very childish sculpts, they´re very small and more like little fairies.

 

Not for me. I've never really had any kind of strong drive to have kids, and while I appreciate the cute tinies running around, I don't really gravitate towards them. I don't relate as well to child dolls, because I have little interest in real children. Any child dolls I end up with will be due to the fact that they're included in the storyline by default due to their parents being there--because the vast majority of my characters are grown up, there are a few that do have kids. However, they can be the ones to 'take care of' the little resins, because besides dressing them and looking at them, I don't really know how to play with a very child like doll.

I'm sure there are some people that are drawn to dolls in general or particular sculpts because of their interest in kids, but there are so many other reasons out there that women are attracted to dolls. In this culture, dolls are often thought of as a way for little girls to play or learn to be 'mommy', so I suppose it's inevitable that people will draw conclusions about grown women and dolls, but it's not a generalization that I fit into or would make about anyone else.