Mothering instinct?

Well, I believe that for me it might be, but my mothering instinct is really warped.
I despise children. I actually have a phobic reaction to babies. But still, I have a biological clock, and that mothering instinct is there; but I am incapable of turning that instinct on human children. So, it's refocused itself. I have six cats, all but one of which I've raised from kittens, and I have my boys ^.^
All of them are mature, ranging from MSD to 70cm and being fairly to very masculine. Still, the feeling of doting on them (and my cats, and my boyfriend) fills that same biological need that's usually filled by raising children.
Nature finds a way ^.^

 

I'm completely with you here! I have two sons who i completely adore and are my whole reason for living but I live in a very male orientated household so I like to have girly dolls that I can dress up, it's a good outlet for me, they are my substitute daughters lol

 

Oh, I just wanted to add my two cents worth to this discussion too. I feel it's a shame people choose not to have children as they are missing out on something so special, you don't know how special until you go through it yourself - you cannot judge your feelings towards children by the annoying ones you see in shopping centres. Having your OWN is completely different, they are apart of you. BUT I completely respect people who choose not to have kids, I have several people in my family who have chosen not to. If you recognise you have no mothering instinct or just simply do not want children then that is the best decision you can possibly make for yourself.

 

I this may sound weird coming from a 14 year old girl but here me out.

(Plus I hate kids, any kid under the age of 5 bugs me. Sorry It just sorta does... I don't meen it in a hurtful way.)

In health class every one had to take home a ropotic like baby. You had to rock it, feed it, ect.... Well I return the 600 doller thing after my two days of having it. And I get an A. Well a week goes by and I am at a doll meet, I was holding my friends chiwoo, and I was rocking him back and forth... (Soon I stoped)

But any way I think it veries from person to person.

 

do you think part of the attraction of dolls is filling the mother child gap? Not for me personally (I get that out of my systems with pets), but I'm sure it's part of the attraction for some people.

Some dolls probably attract that kind of thing more than others too. In particular with the non-mature-looking dolls, the big eyes and sad looks that a lot of them have almost demands a maternal response even if you're not someone who relates to your own dolls that way. The whole "Aww, cute!" thing, even if it's a doll that you wouldn't buy for yourself is a mirror of the way people react to babies, after all!

 

It certainly is a factor in my case. When I got into dolling, I only planned to buy a teen-aged and young adult doll to design based on existing characters, but now I can't stop wanting every Puki and Pukifee. I'm in my late 20s and my biological clock has been kicking me since I was a teenager, but I'm not a romantic person and a bit of a female chauvinist. That said, I doubt I'll ever be married or have the means to adopt, but I love children - so I can see dolls as sort of a soft surrogate. For example, not long ago I had a PKF Bonnie ready to throw on my credit card, somewhat imprudently, when my brother landed me with one of his frequent 'emergency' babysitting sessions. After spending some time with my darling 9-month-old niece, I found I didn't need the doll as desperately. So, yeah. Dolling: Only somewhat less expensive than real children...

 

I'm twenty and in a steady relationship. My girlfriend and I bought our dolls at the same time and I am the person who got her interested in them. We plan to have a huge collection in the future that we can call our own. Both of us really want kids, but we know we will have to wait until we are financially stable, especially since two girls can't even get a kid without an expensive doctor fee or an adoption agency. Our dolls may look like teenagers, but they are our babies. We're not very interested in childlike dolls, though we've been looking at two pukis a bit seriously. We frequently hold our 55cm and 63cm dolls like children, call them our babies, and we take a maternal interest in dressing them and taking care of them. I guess we're a little nuts, but that's our story! I can understand your perspective, OP.

 

this is a great thread....Well not to get too personal but i cannot have children....it used to upset me so much when i would see little girls dresses in shops, so much so it would affect me for days....i started to avoid shops that had dresses as i longed for a little girl....Now since i have discovered BJD's it has helped me no end...i can buy pretty dresses and girly outfits for my 7 girls and i love it....i get that "buzz" that i never could have before and i love it

 

I'm in my early 20s, in a stable relationship, and abhorr the idea of ever having my own children, and in general I dislike children. It's nothing personal against kids.
For me, BJDs are self-expression in a fun medium, and definitely not a mothering instinct - I treat them like personal possessions, not little people. I have a 70cm boy, 60cm girl and an msd whose character is 7 years old - although she is an idealised prodigious child. It's not that I don't collect cute child-like dolls, I just see them as objects.

 

For me I mother every thing, I'm only in my 20s but I mother my pets and siblings. For me I think is because I'm a Cancer zodiac wise and I can't help but to care for things. With my doll that will soon becoming yah Is't going to be my little baby but its not going to be like if it was real child. ^,^ hope I don't sound crazy or any thing.

 

Nope. I have two real children who get all my mothering. When I have my dolls, I get to be a kid again and play. My girls will join me & I take out all our bjd and dress, pose & photograph them. Play time

 

I'm in my 40's and I still go gaga over babies and preschoolers when they are acting cute, sleeping, etc... but if the baby is crying or kid is acting like a brat I am so glad I never had a kid! I think it is a bit of a mothering instinct in me, I get dolls of both genders and all sizes and I intensely gravitate toward making doll families with them.

Oh and the baby clothes thing, I have always been that way about baby shoes, even when I was still a child- I just kind of melted inside when I'd see those infant size 1,2,3, 4 shoes that were miniatures of older children/adult shoes. I love having my two 1/2 scale ABJ's (AOD 90cm guy, and Mecha Angel 80cm gal) because the Mecha Angel can wear an infant size 1 shoe and the AOD can wear an infant sized 4 shoe. She can also wear premie and newborn sized tops, and he wears 3-6 and 6-9 month tops. They wear 2T and 3/4T at the bottom but I have to take in the waist and crotch seams pretty majorly. They wear baby socks too, but the only baby hats that aren't too big are the knit ones for newborns. But I love going to the baby section of a department store and looking for cute stuff that could work for adult dolls.

 

A definite no from me. I'm in my mid-twenties, committed relationship, and the thought of having kids makes me a little physically ill. I collect tons of stuff like Transformers, action figures, dinosaurs, etc. so to me it's like they are just a new type of toy to try out. I'm emotionally attached to my toys of course, but they are in no way a substitute for kids.

I've always been a bit masculine in behavior compared to the other women in my family, so I figured that this is just the way I am. Though, I don't believe in mothering "instinct" as rearing of children is a male task in some other cultures, it is not universally feminine to have and rear kids.

 

I guess that you could call it that for me..I am a very very maternal person. I love taking care of things that need me to keep them nice, in shape, or healthy. I show dogs because I love taking care of them. I have cats for the same reason.

I really started getting into buying my BJDs when I got divorced from my husband. We were together for six years and only married a few months before he was unfaithful to me. I lost everything with that, and I really took up with my doll B.

It sounds really silly when I say it, but it's easy for me to confide in inanimate objects because to ME..it's like writing in a diary or a journal. I can tell them anything and it's strictly between me and the doll/cat/dog/whatever.

I might be crazy..but my animals ARE my children. I tell everyone I have X amount of children when I meet them and they are shocked until I laugh and tell them they are animals. I have three dogs and two cats. So, when I am 19 and telling someone I have five children they are quite shocked. LOL.

I do consider my boys that are on the way to my home to be my kids..not in a weird way, but just in a sense of them being mine and mine only. I'm here to keep them looking nice and well taken care of..so yes, they are my kids in a sense.

 

My boyfriend and I talk about someday adopting a child, but because we're a gay couple and because we're both still young without carriers, we know it will be some time before it will happen. And so we've been getting dolls to be our 'children' for now.

(Does it really count? Not really a 'motherly' instinct...)

 

@ IcePuppet I'd say that counts

I know when I get my doll I'm going to fuss over her and such like a real Mom. I've never liked mature molds much, only child-like MSD's and lower. She'll feed my mommy-drive untill I'm old and mature enough to have a real child XD my cat won't let me fuss over her much *pouts*

 

Ahaha... I fuss over my cat so much. She's right up there with my dollies as being babied. My dog gets really jealous because she is so spoiled. (So does my boyfriend!)

I fussed over my first doll like a 'mother' might, but since then I've relaxed a little bit.

 

Definitely NOT.
My doll's hobby isn't connect with that.
Couse' i really don't think that it can be connect in anyway xD

 

I sort of do I have found. I found myself rocking while in the dealers room at a convention this weekend with Madison in my arms. I occasionally give her a kiss on the head when walking. I wouldn't go so far as acting like its my child and talking to it, but I do refer to her as my child sometimes in joking. Usually that happens when I am telling my friend to baby-sit her godchild when I need to use my arms, which she usually is very excited about. I think I am converting her. XD

 

Nah, there's no mothering instinct in my case. I have no interest, at all, in having kids. I'm actually not very fond of kids in general. My desire to own a BJD comes from my desire to explore new artistic mediums. However, I won't be averse to spending some time just holding my doll, but that's how I am with dolls and stuffed animals. They're something to snuggle that you don't have to feed and it won't make noise.