My money, his money and our money for dolls

Each can pay equally out of their own accounts to cover obligations that are shared like utilities/rent in a shared living space or the upkeep of a shared animal. I am another one who would never, ever remotely allow someone else access to my money, nor would I want access to someone else's. My money is my money is my money, end of story.

If someone wanted to enter a long term relationship with me and had issues with my monetary beliefs, it is not something I am willing to compromise on and as such, it would be a deal breaker for me.

 

In effect though, money that goes towards a mortgage that has both your names on it (or into the upkeep of a pet or child) is shared. There might not be a joint account where the cash is mingling, but the fact that the ownership/responsiblity is shared means that while you might have bought the catfood or paid for the new roof, the fact that you both own the cat/house means that your partner has access to your money (or you to their's), at least indirectly.

ETA: None of which is to say that a relationship needs to end in cohabitation or plants/pets/kids - hence my "What if". If you don't want it, that's cool (and more power to you!), but if it is a possibility then I think it's worth saying "Not sharing can be harder than it might seem!"

 

I don't really see it that way, as the money is not given to the other person in the errr partnership but directly from each person to the whoever/whatever entity is being paid. They do not have access to my money in the way that would allow to remove it from my accounts without me actually being the one to give it to them, nor would they be able to use my credit. They cannot make financial decisions with my money without me. That is what I absolutely refuse to do and have issue with.

I have a roommate. We split the utilities, but I don't see it as her and myself sharing our money with each other as beyond making sure both of us pony up our half of the bills every month, we have no say over each other's finances. There is no "our" money.

 

I have read many different opinions in this thread, and I believe it's actually pretty interesting to see how people manage her home (and hobby) expenses.

I am single right now, so my money (when I have it ) it's for myself. If married, I'd prefer to have a joint account with my S.O., though. If you're willing to share your life with a person, you should be able to share your money too. That's just my opinion, anyway.

 

With my fiancée its not really an issue. He makes the money but he looks at it as our money cuz were a single unit. and as far as he is concerned if we can afford the doll with out having to go with out something. Its ok with him.

 

About my parent's, I spent my entire childhood asking Transformers and He-Man characters, Thundercats and Silverhawks, all I ever got was Barbie Dolls, Pin-y-Pon, Lego or things for girls since my parent's where very worry about my taste for the "man considered" toys, I knew the economical situation at home very early so I used to understand when I really asked for something and they didn't had the money...besides they denied because they where worry about me using "boy toys", they never denied anything I asked if they could afford it, so I have no hard feeling toward my parents, because I know in their ignorance their did their best, and what father or matter doesn't make mistakes with their children..?

But coming back to the question itself, now than I I'm a grown up, my money it's my money, period, I live with my parent's and I help them if I can but the decision of buoying or not something it's ultimately mine, as the decision of buoying something for me with their money it depends on them since it's their money, we just keep the lines clear and we are cool with it...

...but as you say, every house it's a world and every person a universe, there isn't a "right" answer to reply this, as you say, it depends on the autonomy of the person and how their parent's are. For me, Wat's mine it's mine and what's yours it's yours, if I want to give away something like a gift I do it because I want to, and if you want to gave me a gift it's because you want to, but I think there should not be any obligations to "give" your things or money unless of course your family it's having a really hard time and really need your help, there I think the "common sense" it's an important factor on the equation...

 

my husband is the money maker. i take care of the baby and work part time. we pay ower own bills with seprite bank accounts. he pays for the living and food i pay for my car and credit card. we help eachother out if we need to and at the end of the month after everything is payed for we take the left over and spend it on ower hobbys. mine are my dolls, his are his guns. we dont fight over money. as long as the bills are payed that is the first priority, then fun time!

 

My husband and I keep our money, for the most part, separate. He pays the rent and the loan on his car, I pay all the other bills. We each buy figures with our own money, though if there's a more expensive one we both like we'll split the cost. Doll-wise, I had to save up for Yumeko all by myself since he finds the more realistic ones "creepy." He'll happily chip in for the next doll though...as long as it's a Dollfie Dream. He's very much into DDs. If I want my next one to be another DZ, though, I'm on my own. Bah. I guess it's one way to start on a collection of Strike Witches DDs...

 

My husband works outside the home, I work from home, and we both run our own crafting business together. All the money we make is for both of us. After taking care of necessities, we basically spend it how we want. For big purchases, we sit down and discuss them, whether we can afford it now, whether it can wait, etc. I would never buy something big without talking to my husband about it first, and he does the same.

 

I have been married for almost 30 years and in that time things went from not having my own money to a little, to making my own to not and back to having some. For the time I have been in hobby over 3 years I have got a monthly allowance as well as a bonus every year. I do not work outside home. Any sales I make from items I buy is my own money as well. Also my husband buys dolls for me as gifts as he hates shopping. He pays all the bills and makes sure we also save up for when he retires so we will be okay as we grow old together. It's never been a case of mine, or his. It's always been our's. He also has hobbies too. Gardening, 3D photography and he loves techie stuff.

 

I am currently single so my money is just mine and therefore it is completely up to me what I spend it on.

However, when/if I'm married I fully plan on keeping our money separate. I have heard from too many people how wonderful it is and have experianced my parent's dilemmas about money. Plus I also know how I work and what bothers me and I know that this would be the right answer for me. In part because I have at least two expensive hobbies (horses and BJDs) and I never (EVER) want to feel indebted or guilty for spending money on either one.

 

In my opinion on a family things should go like this:
When a couple gets married that are one from now on. Regardless if both of them works the money goes to one shared fund. Now the couple should suggest together about how to spend them according to their needs. First should go the living expenses and the obligations of the household and then the personal needs and desires of the couple. If there is love and understanding one should respect the desires of the other and try to please them if not :P better divorce you will live a truly unhappy life.
As for the kids, if they are old enough to earn their own money and still live in their parents house, it would be nice if they help a bit on the households expenses but they should not be forced to do so and their money is their money to do what they want with them, as long as they wont buy something that will cause problems to the rest of the family ^^;
If the kids are small and their savings are from gift etc. the parents should let their kids free to do their own choices but remember parents are also responsible to see that their kids wont get spoiled and that their kids learn to value their savings. So parents should respect their kids choices but they also have to set some limits.

But then again thats the way I see the world

 

In my household, I make the money while my husband is the stay-at-home. How we've set things up is that each time I get paid, we both get an "allowance" that can be used for anything and/or anyone. Bills are taken care of, we get an allowance, rest goes into savings. We've never had an argument about money.

 

For me and my boyfriend, it's more the "Bills, food, save for con/new apartment." We've not been living together long, and I put him on a budget last week since his car insurance is due. And it's a lot. Dx Almost all of his paycheck.
But it's okay because he gets paid weekly, and quite a bit. x3; I think it's because it's my dad that's his boss.~

This week we have $40 to eat on, which is actually way more than we need since we have quite a bit of food at home.
We're just too lazy to cook. xD;
Well.. I can't really reach the stove since there's a TABLE in the way, that's too heavy for me to move.

But.
The OUR money goes inside this little banky thing I got. It had jello-o stuff in it, but now it's full of money, for Mtac next month. After the cost of hotel room and food's out, we plan to split the rest evenly. :3

Our My Money, His Money's not really that separate. I bought his Gakupo wig, and he pays more bills than I do.
It's like I handle the little stuff and he gets the big bills like Rent.

But now he's kind of starting to want to save up for a boy of his own. He likes to play with Lo and pretends to have conversations with her. The first day I left them alone, he texted me saying "She's staring at my soul. ;A; " I'm glad he doesn't find her creepy like my ex did. Since he wants one of his own, that's all the better. :3

 

hmm......I have had some extra thoughts on this issue. My father makes a 6-figure salary. My mother makes poverty level wages as a public school teacher. My mother has all of her money direct-deposited into my dad's account, to help with the bills. She also maintains the home, cooks dinner, does laundry, and care for my two barely teen-aged brothers. Her only hobby is sewing. It is the only thing she gets any pleasure or enjoyment or even relaxation out of....and she's forced to ask my father for money every time she wants something. Granted, she has had issues with money management in the past, but I don't believe she should have to okay every single purchase she makes with my dad. No one should have to deal with this. As one person said, it's demoralizing, on top of being very detrimental to one's self-esteem.

That said, my fiance and I are getting married next June. We have made the decision to keep separate accounts. We both maintain a certain savings level, and pay our share of the bills/rent. Once this is done, we can buy whatever we please, and we don't need to okay it with one another. My fiance has an "addiction" to designer boardgames, and those things are not cheap (cheaper than my dolls though, I must admit), but his money is his, mine is mine. We will ask each other for advice and opinions, and for very big purchases discuss exactly what we can spend in a month. When we have kids, they'll be able to spend their money on whatever they want. Few children are really any sort of problem. If you trust your child, your child will trust you. Not a single child in my family or my fiance's family has ever bought anything dangerous with their money...well the exception being my teenage brothers who absolutely love their paintball guns. :P Even though I am almost finished with bachelor's degree, and plan on going back for my masters and a teaching certificate, I plan on being a stay at home mother when our children come, and our financial arrangements will be essentially the same. We'll budget out the fun money, and decide together what to spend it on.

 

My parents had the same issue as Carmarllia, dad earning a 6-figure salary and mom a low 2-figure salary, basically a house wife that dips all her money to help with bills. My parents never had monitory issues because of their stinging, but when it came to us(me and my brother) saving for the things we want. They were always there to point fingers at us, telling us that it is their money that they gave us for getting food(pocket money) and they can remove what we bought with it because it essentially belonged to them. This kept me from buying any sort of toys/dolls/hobbies anything that I could enjoy for a really long time, as I have had them remove my play station 2 I bought with money I had save (The only thing they allowed us to buy and keep were books).

Presently, I live with my boyfriend and only work casual, set aside our financing idealogy has been quite different to that of my parents. He understands that I dont earn much money and pays the rent and buys food, leaving only household bills for me to pay monthly, which I feel is fair, judging the fact that im still studying fulltime and only working casually. We both allow ourselves to spend on our hobbies any money that is not in within the percentage to save per month to "our" money, which I feel is somewhat required, as long as we never ever go into debt just because we are wanting to spend on our hobby. That mostly said, we have "our" money as well as his money and my money.

 

My fiancée and myself are both equally interested in dolls. Everything we have is shared. We are so perfectly suited to each other, so similar that at times it's hard to accept we are two separate people. So we are always in synch really. No disagreements on money to date. No disagreements on dolls. We each recently ordered 3 dolls, and we are working on their stories and personalities together, shopping together for them, etc.

 

I was raised by nerds. We had... OK, they STILL have XD ...a "shiny new dork thing" slush fund of comical proportions. I'm sure if dolls had been available before the Xboxes and Kindles, we'd have had a few. Actually, Dad still talks about getting a doll of the Major from Ghost in the Shell. Also, he once bought Mum a redheaded doll of some fancy brand because he was "sorry none of the kids had red hair ):". You'll just have to believe me that it was actually funny. We're a strange, strange family.

I believe Mum and Dad's arrangement has always been that as long as there is money, the house stays nice and oh, NASA doesn't have to calculate the credit card bills, they can each treat themselves with whatever money's available.

Me?

Reading this thread makes me glad I have no interest in the marriage thing. I believe dolls may actually be cheaper and less angsty, even considering this is one of the angstiest hobby's around.

 

with me and my fiance it has ALWAYS been OUR money regardless of who it originally belonged to, who it was ment for and so on, we share everything, including our hobbies and loves, thus we dont find 'who' is it' an issue, its more, 'where do we get the next installment of savings from' as neither of us are well payed, and i am unfortunately unable to work due to disability. so things can be tough and not a lot survives to be saved at the end of each month, but we get there. and were hoping to buy our first BJD in a few months time, (as all my girlies at the moment are not ball jointed but china and porcelain).

 

I'm single but I'm still young and I live with my parents, and plus I'm a college student...so money is a little bit on the edge x3. But since I'm the only child that both my parents have and the fact that both them are crazy savers and spend most of their income on me and getting me dolls is not a big deal..but because BJD are expensive I won't be asking more than one unless I use my own money that I save from my job and my college scholarship leftovers. On the other hand, I will never hesitate if my parents ask to borrow money from me (let say $1,000) for something and I don't expect them to pay me back unless they really wanted to. So technically the money circulating around my house are well regulated (lack of better words xD) and managed. If we are tight on money I don't ask my parents to spend their income on any luxury items besides asking them to help me pay for book supplies for college and if there are extra I will either save it and use it later or spend it on something good.