My money, his money and our money for dolls

I don't think that's ever going to be a problem since I only buy one doll a year, I prefer to invest my emotions and $ on a few than too many, there is not enough display space in my room anyway. I don't like to sell off my precious either.

 

Yay! It's nice to see how people deal with how they work around with money in this hobby

I'm a full time uni student still living at home with my money that I get for university I split it between uni and home. With my money for the uni part I buy my photoshoots, props, makeup, costumes, photo paper - printer, dark room and colour room, inkjet ink for printing, film and getting the films developed if I dont do it myself. Whichever is needed for what I am doing so sometimes it can get expensive while others I am hardly needing to spend anything But mostly its for travel costs etc.

Then at home I help my mom pay some bills but mostly buy the food shopping. Also I help with the house itself if something needs buying or fixing we will buy together, but I often buy to save my mom some money herself. I also pay for my phone and put some money to the electric bill as I use the computer and for my photography lights. Then it comes to my dolls, I'll save up for them, long and tiring but ah well lol

 

I do not take his money to buy my dolls. I spend the money that I earned.

 

We have common money and work together. So my husband can buy his computer accessories, and I buy my dolls. We name it "a present for soul".

 

Nicely named, "a present for soul"

I think it's bad if you get a present and the person reminds you that, yes, he spent his money for it and somehow, the present you got is still his property luckily I spend my own money for any things that get into hobby category.

 

My wife and I both collect. We each spend our money as we like. All bills are paid together, so we don't really complain about what we do with luxury monies. She buys her BJDs, My Little Ponies, and cross-stitch kits; I have my BJDs and video games. We're happy. =)

 

i think if i hid a purchase as big as a doll from hubs he would lock me outta the house :/
then again it would be the same if i hid anything from him (and visa versa).
we each have our own accounts and pay our parts of the bills. the rest of our paycheques are ours to do whatever with. benefit of no kidlings.

 

I find this is quite the interesting topic and I'm glad to see most of the people who has replied have managed to work out an efficient way of being in the hobby without turning other important things upside down to do so.
For my partner and I it is pretty simple. As long as all bills are paid, necessities get covered and a certain amount goes into savings each cheque the rest is free reign for ourselves. For the two and a half years we've been together he's spent far more on luxuries than I have several times over. I don't enjoy shopping for myself and rarely spent 50+ on anything we or I didn't need. Lacking any real hobby before hand added to it until I had decided I needed one for sanity's sake. Everyone around me agreed to the notion. So although I do feel fairly guilty about spending so much on myself even if it is money I've worked for I'm going with my head to reason it out, which doesn't take much since there is no real reason for me to feel that way in my situation. It is an adjustment, but now that my interest and love for the hobby has just been adding up the guilt has worn down a lot, thankfully.

 

It's really though. I don't like my money his money, but I do think it's nice to have an arbitrary set limit of money each person is allowed to spend w/out permission and all.

 

I've been independent and have supported myself since I was 18 years old (I'm now in my 50's). I've been married, divorced, have been a single mother for over five years, and am now happily married and have another young child. I have never had a joint bank account with anyone, and don't plan on changing this trend. Both my husband and I earn a pretty good income. We have settled into a pattern of one or the other paying for particular bills/expenses, but there is by no means clear lines drawn between who pays for what. I have a pretty good idea of how much money we have for "luxuries" any particular month; this can fluctuate a great deal at times because I am a self-employed fee-for-service MD. I like to think of the money that my husband and I earn as "yours, mine, and ours". I do not tell my husband how to spend his money, and he does not tell me how to spend mine. This is one reason why I have never considered being a stay-at-home; having anyone tell me what I can and cannot purchase would leave me feeling like a child. As long as I am not going over budget, I do not have to feel guilty about getting a BJD. It is not my intention to put down stay-at-homes with no personal income. I am just stating why this would never work for me personally. If life should happen to hit the proverbial fan, I know I can always depend on myself.

 

I spend what I want to spend with the caveat that all of life's necessities are obviously at the top of my list. I do consult my partner when I want to spend large sums of money. Not because I require his permission or blessing, but rather that I value his opinion and want him to feel involved in my decision process. All of our major purchases are discussed beforehand and we make sure we are on the same page before we buy. Purchases for our own individual interests are entirely left up to the individual and I do not consult my partner on my doll purchases. I have asked his opinions on some of my dolls though. Our finances are joint and we share one bank account and for us it seems to work.

 

My boyfriend and I pay for our own things. He works hard for his money as I do for mine and we're both free to spend it as we wish. We still buy little presents for each other if we see something we like, but we don't share our savings unless we've organised a loan.
When I found a gorgeous girl dollfie online and knew I just HAD to have her or I would regret it, I still asked him if he thought it would be a wise idea. I knew I could afford her without having to touch my savings and I don't really spend all that much money on myself these days. All he said was 'I can't wait to meet your new little girl, what's her name?' I guess I'm lucky in that way

 

My first 5 dolls I bought myself, then I've met my boyfriend, and last 3 dolls are his gifts. He also put deposit for another doll and planning to get yet another next month for me. God save good boyfriends.

 

I've read all 13 pages of this thread, it's very interesting! I didn't read any situation much like mine.

I've been married 15 years and am a stay at home mom of 4. My husband is the breadwinner and pays the bills, we have a joint account that his paycheck funds for all our household needs.

I also have a small sewing business. I use the money I make to help fund family projects (i.e. vacation savings) and my own wants (lunches out with friends, doll stuff, etc). I have a separate account for this money. My husband does not monitor nor use this account at all. I have full control/discretion.

This set up works pretty well, we don't fight about money, but my problem is that my husband NEVER spends money on himself. He doesn't go out with friends, his hobby is free (he follows baseball and football, but his teams are far away so he doesn't go to games), he doesn't much care for any material items and hates "clutter".

He makes enough money for us to pay our bills with a little left over for some savings each month, but we still carry a mortgage on the house and he worries about how we'll fund our children's college education. I recently had to realllly talk him into a new mattress purchase even though he has terrible back pain on our 15 year old bed and we had plenty of savings to purchase it outright. He hates being parted from his money.

Although he's very tight with the money, he doesn't mind taking the family out to a movie and he never begrudges needs like new shoes for the kids or signing them up for soccer or gymnastic lessons, etc. I think ultimately he's fine spending money on the kids, but thinks that he and I are grownups now, so we should not really want any useless things. Dolls for me are a real eyeroll for him!!

I feel incredibly guilty spending more then $50ish on myself / my hobbies in a month because that money could go for "better" things like paying down the mortgage or stashing away for the kids future education. Even though it's technically "my" sewing money that we don't need to survive, I feel that my wants are frivolous and silly, especially the very expensive wants like bjd stuff. And I can't point to ways my husband spends money on himself to assuage my guilt because he *doesn't* spend money on himself.

I'd love to say he supports my wants, and he kind of does, but only to a point that he'd consider "reasonable". He'd be happy to buy me something for my birthday or Christmas, but he'd have an absolute stroke if I told him I'd like a $300 doll. Although he won't usually comment on purchases I make for myself, I can feel his disapproval when too many little packages arrive. I don't technically have to explain myself, and I never use money from our joint family account, but I still feel horribly when I spend on stuff that maybe I even believe is too expensive.

Anyway, all of this is painful for me because I'm embarrassed of my frivolous wants since I live with someone who seems above all that. It makes me feel childish and selfish. I earn money so I can support my hobbies, but I still feel guilty spending it. It makes me feel pretty sad, and ultimately it's probably because deep down I think he is right.

 

I pay for all my dolls and clothes. My husband has gifted me, quite sweetly, some accessories and shoes. However, I don't think I would feel comfortable having him buy me any type of doll. They are expensive, and I would rather see him buy himself something he likes. :3 We both make our own money and share bills. I think we have a great and respectable system setup.

 

Yikes. This question feels like a loaded gun! I'd be angry too if I were under those circumstances.

No, my husband has never 'guilted me' into giving up my hobby. If anything I feel guilty spending so much on luxury items. I know I earn my money- people who stay at home and do house/yard/upkeep work... it's actually a lot of work!

Additionally it's our money. It took me a couple years to feel that way but it is as my husband would not be where he is without my support. Needless to say I would not be where I am either. It's the teamwork here that makes us stronger. *^^*

When we had less money I sold some of my other collectables to be able to afford my dolls and then he supplied the other half. That was my choice and the guidelines I set down in order to feel comfortable with such a large purchase when we didn't have that much expendable cash. ^^

We do not separate our funds into his/hers. We don't fight about money- or anything else really. Different things work for different couples and we work just fine without having separate accounts. If finances are an issue in a relationship, then it seems like that would be a good/smart idea.

 

that attitude is not one i would take part in, but for the people who's money IS their parents money, I can sorta kinda understand where they're coming from: they're trying to teach their children priorities. But as for me, I think that my money is my money, and your money is your money. I don't think I could ever have a joined account with someone to get the "our money" attitude... but if I did, I think my attitude may change a little. "Our money" is shared money, and therefor what it's spent on should be discussed.

 

"our money, his money, my money."

This can be one of the biggest issues in a relationship and how it's handled can say a lot. I would have to say this dynamic does exist in my household. My husband, the primary bread winner, has a very hard time spending money on himself, but is very generous with his family, specifically myself and our daughter. I admit it, we're a bit spoiled and could be more so. For that reason, I try to be very careful about what I ask for. There needs to be a balance. Do I want a new piece of furniture, or should we improve the backyard for our daughter? Do I want a new doll or should we save that money for our vacation? One nice doll with accessories is potentially equal to 1 or 2 airfares, or 3 theme park admissions, or a recliner, or a new bed, or a rockin' swing set, so it's something to consider. Large purchases are always discussed.

I try to earn doll money with my own business activities (I'm a part time seamstress and costumer designer.) but the husband's been instrumental in the purchase of my 2 most expensive dolls. The other 9 moderately priced dolls and the collection's accessories came out of my pocket.