Omg... I actually got PERMISSION!

Mom and I got into a little arguement today while we went shopping about dolls. Dad is TOTALLY against it and was going to go into my room and start yelling at me about it. I started getting angry because I'm saving up my OWN money that i earn from odd days that i work and I'm not even putting all the money I earn in a doll fund- I'm only putting like half or a little more, depending on what I make. Mom's still on the 'you need to look at the big picture' and stuff like that about not speding so much on this 'stupid thing' (kinda made me mad cause she called my widdle future Macabee a thing )) and how I shouldn't get all worked up because 'no one's dogging me'--whatever. She just went on and on and about how i'm going to college next year (Winthrop to be exact) and how she wouldn't allow me to take it with me, but I might have to change that once i turn 18 and I find out who my roommate is. She dosn't really want me to get one but says bascially I can get one with my own money....btw, this all started when I went to go sell some old clothes and CD's that I don't listen to anymore to a thrift store. She started comparing my doll to that of a CD....some stupid robot dog and the such. They aren't the same, not even in the same ball park. I told her how I could use him as an artistic outlet (i'm big into art) and how I could learn to sew and all sorts of stuff but she was still on that damn 'goal' speech. I wanted to just effin' shoot my self... I'm still saving--thankfully I amost have half saved up. I just wish my parents were a little more...easy going or more likeable to the hobby than they are.

 

Luckily I got a fantastic deal on my first doll so money wasn't quite so huge an issue. My mum likes them, my dad thinks they're interesting but he only sometimes comes through to see them. He's scared cos my boy has an actual penis. I think it would've been worse when I suggested getting another doll if my sister hadn't just bought a car she really didn't need out of the money my dad gave her for her rent (he's paying her rent while she's at uni) So i started off saying that I wanted them for clothing making and sales purposes, that they cost about 300 pounds (cos i want bigger ones). I want to do costume for my degree so i thought that would help but I doubt they'd understand the whole personalities and wanting the doll for the love of the sculpt type thing

 

If you have too, Byke, order once you get into the school.

 

I might have to do that...

 

It wasn't a money problem for me. It was the fact that they scared my mum. She was convinced it would come and kill us all in our sleep. >< After I showed her the two that I wanted {DOD Tender Zen and SI} and the clothes I was going to put them in she finally decided they weren't the murdering type and let me get them. At first she said I would have to keep them in the bags away from her but now she likes them. ^^ Even ended up buying the clothes for Zen. {SI was out of stock when I bought everything. Have to wait to buy him now}

 

My parents didn't let me purchase a ABJD with my own money at frist, until I decided to follow them and bitch non-stop about it wherever they went When we ate at this restaurant, they spent 40 dollars on SOUP and there wasn't much either. I started comparing the price of that meal to a doll. Then we went to this convention and the tickets were 100$ EACH! X____x;; At the end of the day, I followed them to the airport to watch them leave to China (while talking non-stop about how much they've spent) and they finally gave in Now all I gotta do is wait for 'em to come home... :P

 

I don't live with my parents any more, so in theory I wouldn't have to negotiate with them about these things, but since I'm studying full time I occasionally need support from my parents. Last summer I brought up the topic of getting a BJD with my mom, and she nearly flipped - 500 dollars or more for a doll is way too much in her books. Later on there happened to be an article about BJDs in a Finnish anime magazine and I had her read that. After that she said she understood the fascination to the dolls a bit better, but she still was against the whole idea of me getting one. When I explained her where the high price of a BJD comes from, she again understood a bit better. Now when I finally went and ordered the head, I carefully took the topic up with her on the phone. She wasn't angry, as I had saved the money for the head, but she still thought it was a waste of money. Last Friday when my mom and dad came over I shoved her some pictures and an animation a member of the Finnish BJD forum had made - and my mom fell in love So now I have her blessings for getting my Meme
Surprisingly, my dad was easier to win over - he was flabbergasted about the price, and then asked what do I intend to do with the doll once I get bored of it (as if that would ever happen), it would then be just a waste of money, but I told him it can always be sold at an equally high price. After that he has thought of the doll as an investment rather than a doll... Dads, go figure... XD

 

My family, feance and coworkers think Im nuts, mostly because of the cost. My friends somewhat support me, they still think Im nuts but most of them want a doll as well but just cant afford one -.-* But Ive always been one to 'do the crazy things'.. Tattoos piercings esentirc (sp?) clothing hobbys etc... But sine its my money and I pay my bills and rent and have food on the table, whatever I do with my money is my business really... I earn it so I can spend it wether its $50 for boots for me or $50 for boots for my doll.. I think my folks are a little more accepting to my getting back into dolls because I grew up having grandparents buying me porciline dolls... But I can immagine how parents can feel when they hear their son or daugher say "Im spending $500 on a dolly".. O.o But Im glad your folks finnaly agreed to a way for you to save up safely

/Violet

 

my parents are neither for or against it. a few years ago when i was going to get my first doll, i told my dad about it and he just sort of stared at me and said "i hope you know what you're doing." both my parents tried to talk me out of it, to put the money towards a car or something like that. They did end up talking me out of it the first time, but the sad thing is all the money i had saved up didn't go towards a car or anything useful, it went towards movies, candy and arcade games ^^; the second time around they still tried to talk me out of it but they said they wouldn't stop me if its what i really wanted. Now i have my first boy and i love him to peices, and my parents have even softened up a bit and seem to like him too. My mom actually talks to Glacier sometimes XD

 

My father doesn't really understand it, but my mother loves it when I show her pictures of BF Emilie and the other dolls I love (she even said she liked the Kun I wanted at first better)! However, my mum's a doll collector herself so she understands :-D

- cayate

 

My Dad isn't against my doll desires-he doesn't know too much about them, as far as the price is concerned. My mother says that if I want one, I had better start saving my pennies. (I was foolish enough to share the price with her.) So it looks like they're going to be a college project-especially considering I'm not sure I want to tell my parents BJDs are anatomically correct...

 

My parents know exactly how much my girls cost because I had to put my money on their credit cards to buy them XD Sucks to be under 18 x_x

They think it's stupid, but they can't really complain when I'm always giving them money for groceries. I could always STARVE THEM OUT. Fwahaha. My mother is much more critical of the head I'm going to get. She thinks it's a waste of money because it has no body and won't be the same size as my minis' heads.


Even after I got them and they'd seen them, my parents insisted the dolls weren't anatomically correct. "They're proportionally correct", says my mother. I ended up having to point out their bits XD My younger brother was traumatised.

 

You bet it sucks to be under 18. No doll money (you need to save for college), no credit card (do they take cash?), no opportunity to get one (how do you fly to SF, order a doll, and fly back without your parents noticing?), no...doll.

And there's still the problem of "correctness"...

 

What a wonderful thread. My mom encouraged my collection and interest in dolls, as she had the disease too! hahaha.
All I can say to all of you young folks, is, hey, you could be spending your money doing sex, drugs and other stuff. This sort of keeps you off the streets... very healthy as far as I'm concerned.
If I had a child, I'd be thrilled if they were interested in the dolls as much as I have in my life... and been brought up to encourage having dolls into their lives.
Keep going... enjoy.

 

That is a beautiful sentiment. I couldn't sum it up better myself, in so few words. If only the world had more people like your father.

What I don't understand, however, is why anyone needs permission to spend his or her own money. If you work (part time, full time, sell stuff you make, whatever) and you don't spend more than you can earn on your own, why does it matter? You pay bills (or put money toward school/moving out if still at home), what's left over is your own. I know how financial obligations work, being nearly thirty, a tax payer, etc...but, so long as I have something set by for emergency, what I save from each check is my own to save or spend as I see fit.
Can anyone explain this to me?

 

exactly! a friend of mine is always joking with me, and one of her favorites is to make comments about how i'm always sniffing my nose and I'm such a druggie..[which i'm not, by the way..] she also thinks my BJD interest is a waste of money..so of course, today she tried a druggie comment again to which i promptly shouted "HOW CAN I AFFORD A $500 DOLL IF I'M ON DRUGS!!??" her reply was "well you'd have to be on drugs to spend that much on a doll." she, uhm..yeah. we have a REALLY weird relationship..>_>;

but as far as parental approval, my dad was just happy i went out and got a job on my own and my mom was all impressed that I paid back what was on her credit card two months before the time limit we agreed on was up. xD; so they don't mind it a whole ton since it's all money i earned..i sort of miss being able to go to Walden Books every weekend and buying Lupin III and Vagabond and all the other manga no one else reads because i have such non-popular tastes [which sucks because for some titles it means online BOOK ordering..;_;], but saving for Jay was SO worth it..my dad has limited me to two dolls, though, because of the price..personally i don't think i could handle more than two..so it all works out! xD;

 

Well, as I said, in my case it is because I still have to occasionally rely on their monetary support, as I'm a full time student (I'm doing my master's thesis on a very tight shedule so I don't have any extra time to work).
But on a more general level part of it probably is the parents feeling of duty to point out when they think their child (no matter how old) is doing something they consider is silly. If you start to argue with them, they always find "better" ways of spending the money, eg a car, an appartment, schooling, saving for the day when you have children... you name it, they've thought of it. I think it partly is the fact that no matter how old, you are still their daughter/son. Parent-adult child relationships only rarely lack this aspect, to them the adult is always their little baby.

 

My thoughts exactly. I put aside plenty of money for college, I should be allowed to do what I want with the remainder. Noo, spend it on something sensible and boring. Resin_Bishounen_Fangirl's reaction in three emoticons-:-o -_-.

...mothers.

 

i don't live with my mother (i still talk to her alot), only a husband and child. My mother would kill me if she ever knew the prices of the dolls and the i will be getting one. i would recieve the 'silent treatment' and then lectures in anger whenever she deemed it to be fit. As for my husband..heh. he laughed, says i'm too old, but did give in and agreed to it (i had to do the artistic and investment lecture to him). My daughter (2) likes to 'oooo and awww' at them when i look at pics. When she is alot older and show's responsability i'll let her get one deff. in the meantime i place change in a jar for her if she ever wants one one day.

 

Well, imsaving money anyway (£100 a month) for my 'future' and I dont livw with my parents anymore. However that doesnt stop me from living in paternal terror...if my mum found out, as long as I mentioned im saving money as well she probably adore them and commission my nan to start knitting for them (seeing as im forbidden from making HER a grandmother until she's safely into her fifties...) but my dad would freak out.

He'd start listing the things I could have bought, start harping on about why I havnt taken driving lessons and gottena car yet (Hello? University Course, at the town with the worlds most infamous roundabout?) and would probably try his best to prove how 'fragile' they are-probably toss one to his dogs to play with. If I lied about the price, I should be ok-he might go so far as to smile at them...

I live with my boyfriend, and although sometimes he ridicules at first (he's sarcastic, and theres nothing that will change that) he doesnt mind as long as I think things through, and it makes me happy. I tend to polcie myself, anyway. If Im surrounded by junk from eBay and Im broke, I think 'sod it' and sell things I dont use or like anymore. Im not envisioning realms of dolls, anyway....otherwise it would be tempting to line them up on my dads Bar for when he opens up in the morning, all holding empty shot glasses out to him...hehehe....I might remove the eyes for that one.