Others holding your dolls - HOW TO POLITELY SAY NO

If I don't want someone holding my doll, I simply say "Well, he's fragile and very expensive." But most people just want to touch their hands or hair, not actually hold them so I don't mind. They actually get handled a lot by curoious people in my shop under close supervision. I always tell people "Just be careful, he's fragile and he pinches!"

 

I am like this a bit too - I let my one dolly-friend hold Porridge all the time, she never had to ask, she just kind of knew that I wouldn't mind. My other friends ask, but they are still allowed to. I don't think I could let randoms touch her.
I think the first time someone asks, then a simple "I'm sorry, but no," with a sweet smile will generally suffice. If they pester you or ask again, then very firmly just say "No." And leave it at that. If they keep pestering, just walk away. They can't expect that you will let them play with her, she isn't theirs.

Now, if the person asking is a child, then I would go with the "Snow/Alice doesn't like being held by other people very much, sorry " because kids are generally more accepting of dolls having their own ideas and feelings

 

"Can I hold her?"
"I'm sorry but she is very dear to me and I don't let others hold her"

People will usually just respect that answer, I'm sure that most of the people there will know what it's like and will respect what you think is best for your dolls!

 

I just say politely the doll is too expensive .

 

HA HA!!!
I like this one!!
I'm gonna try it out^.^

 

I agree that I probably wouldn't mention the doll was very expensive, that could be asking for trouble. I would simple say 'no I'm sorry, I'd rather hold her' and if they make a fuss, just repeat that she is fragile, you put a lot of work into her outfit, etc and if they persist, apologise again, say you don't really have time to continue the conversation and walk off...

 

i'd just say: sorry but i dont like people handling my dolls. i'm parano like that...

 

I would be wary of telling someone the exact cost of your doll, they may decide it's worth the risk to try and steal it later on and try to sell it. It's politer and safer all round to say that the doll is very special/fragile and you would hate for them to break something accidentally and be unable to repair it. The fear of breaking something fragile that belongs to someone else is often enough to put other people right off.

Sometimes though people can surprise you with their gentleness and they will want to hold your doll out of curiosity rather than want to break it. I'm planning on cosplaying with one of my dolls and if others ask to hold her I'll most likely say yes, (unless they have icky sticky hands or I don't know them at all). I'll be bringing a camera and I'd love to have lots of pictures of my doll being held by the other cosplayers. Since it's a birthday event, all the people there will be friends of my good friend and she is notorious for never lending anything to anyone, so if I did decide to not let others hold my doll I think everyone would assume I'm the same as my friend!

 

"I'm sorry, she didn't get a lot of socialization when she was younger. She bites."

 

I met a real nice lady at Fanimecon in 2009, she had a Zero doll and "the other guy" from Vampire Knight. She offered to let me hold them. I politely declined. I was too scared to hold them for a photo with them. xD

When people asked her if they could hold them, she would answer with a polite "yes you may, just be careful." or "I am sorry, but not right now."

I figure a polite, and short winded answer would be best. Long winded answers tend to just flow in one ear and out the other.

 

I can't say that I have ever had anyone outside of a doll meet ask to hold my dolls. At doll meets I know most of the people, they have their own dolls and I don't mind if they want to take a look at one of mine. Usually when people approach me when I am out with a doll they just want to look, maybe touch the hands but not normally. At conventions most people have some idea what they are and that they are expensive and don't want to mess with that. I will have dolly people who I don't know come up and say "Can I see your boy. Not hold him I just want to see him." Hubby says most people don't approach me because I give off a "don't bother me" vibe. It is more that I am just really uncomfortable out among people, especially in big groups, and I also tend to be a bit oblivious. But it all works out for me, I don't handle strange people talking to me particularly well anyway. If some one I didn't know did approach and ask to hold my dolls, and I wasn't totally freaked out from being out in public I would try to assess the situation. Most adults are perfectly safe to hold a doll for a moment in a reasonably calm atmosphere. If I didn't want them to I would probably just say, "I don't let other people hold my dolls." If they caught me at a bad time I would probably ignore the fact that they were talking to me until my husband pointed out that I had been terribly rude. Such is life.

 

I like just think admitting your uncomfertable with it is enough. I dont like coming out with "expensive" becuase I feel like I'm gloating about what I am able to pay for. DX

 

'I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with letting others hold her.' Apologetic and straight to the point. If people take offense then they're easily-offended and not worth a second thought. Some might be disappointed, but the polite will respect your answer. Don't be afraid to politely flat-out refuse. If someone asks why, say that you'd much rather be safe than sorry, and in such a crowd of strangers, you feel safer keeping it with you.

Personally I wouldn't let others hold my doll, but I would be comfortable with allowing them to touch it while I hold it, so long as they're careful about it. Different strokes, though.

 

I've got a question, to add to the whole "Holding someones' doll" thing....Has anyone ever been left with someones' doll, or discovered a lost doll?

 

I just tell people that I have OCD (which I do, but XD) and so its nothing personal, I just don't like people touching my stuff. I don't even like my mom touching most of my stuff and she means the most to me than anyone.

 

Use your discretion about what is appropriate to say or allow, however remember to be polite and apologetic, and maybe offer to have them look at your doll. That's a good rule of thumb for strangers and non-dolly people. People and doll meets and conventions will be more understand, and feel free to personify your doll's feelings for children and other dolly people.

 

I like the idea of a little sign, so long as it doesn't cover up her cosplay. If they do ask, I would say: "I'd prefer to be on the safe side and not allow anyone to touch her, but if you'd like I can write down a site (www.denofangels.com, or whatever) if you'd like more information about her."

 

I'm with the party saying that giving out a price or even saying "too expensive" can be asking for trouble. I only give out a price when asked, and depending on how much I know the person, usually the price I give is just "a bunch and then some sweat and time."
Just a polite "Nope, sorry" is generally good. At a con, you could say that it's a bit too crowded at the moment.

Personally, having gone all over with my dolls including the Sakura Matsuri in Washington DC, I've never had anyone ask to hold them. They've usually just asked if we mind if they take pictures because they're fascinated. Or sometimes they don't ask and they take pictures of us fiddling with the dolls. The only folks that ask to hold don't really ask, they're usually close enough to me that they just put out their hands XD. (eg, one of my professors really likes looking at their painting sometimes or my local doll group knows they are free to pick up mine without asking, as they're pretty gentle.)

 

Generally, I will let a 'normal' person hold my doll(s). My definition of normal is anyone who doesn't trigger red flags, AKA doesn't look like they intend to run off with, drop, or undress my doll. I have handed my dolls over to many people, and have infact passed around my dollfie dream's bust.. yes, just the bust, around a panel room full of people without incident.

For those who trigger the red flags, responses range from "No" "Nope" and "Not on your life" to "What are your intentions?" and "Do you value your face?"

Nah, it really depends entirely on the person, but I really have asked a red flag trigger what their intention was to hold my doll. Something told me they had gotten wind of their price and was looking to hold my doll right out the nearest door, which was next to us, and I was at the disadvantage of being behind a table. They stuttered out some mock reason to my question, but it was obvious they weren't getting what they wanted and they moved on.

Most normal people will take the simple no and understand that it is your belonging and will not insist or be insulted. The non-normal ones will often get upset, sometimes throw a fit, and in retrospect, would you have wanted that type of person to hold your doll anyway? Probably not.

 

I'd go with the simple "I'm sorry, but no", if they persist, I'd explain "I'm sorry but it's my choice, but I'd be more than happy to tell you where I got her/him if you're really interested in her/him and even some places where you can learn more ^^" Usually after that it's good. They can find out how much it costs on their own time, lest they want to ask upfront then I'd give a general range. I'd be hesitant to give the cost of my dolls specifically lol But if for some reason the person is being insistent, I may start to become a bit firm and even a little hostile lol I don't mind if they just want to look, but no touchie XD