People calling your doll Goth/Emo/Etc. when they arent?

People see what they want to see. Regardless of how we dress or portray our dolls there is always going to be someone out there who categorizes the doll in a way that we personally believe is not true. Ive had people categorize my dolls as being mannequins, voodoo dolls, goth, emo, my boys as girls, and just plain creepy. And thats not even half of it. Ive just learned to shrug off whatever they say. It's something that Ive learned to do alot in life. You can create all the witty comebacks and snide remarks that you want, but by ignoring whoever is making the comments makes you a better person and keeps you from stooping down to there level. (Just stating my opinion here )

 

It hasn't... oh actually no, my one of my dolls has been called a lesbian a few times and she isn't, she's just a tough type of girl. But it doesn't bother me, people see something and try to put it into a box based on their own stereotypical views... but since what they see when they look at my doll makes no difference to what my doll actually is I don't really care.

 

I don't expect everyone to know right away why my dolls are the way they are, or even what they are. For most people, the dolls are completely new territory and they're going to try and draw their own conclusions based on things they already know.

I do however expect people to not be total A. holes about it. I mean, there's the occasional funny uninformed comment about them, but some people are just insulting and not respectful. I am pretty tolerant of "non-doll people", but I definitely draw the line somewhere, and unfortunately it actually has been crossed before (by my psychologist, of all people).

When someone just makes a naive comment, I politely explain what I actually intended with the doll. If they still don't really "get it" after that, well, whatever. When someone does the whole "HEY EVERYONE AAHHAHA WHAT IS THAT SOME KIND OF EMO GAYLORD AAHHH IS THAT LIKE A SICK FETISH OF YOURS OR SOMETHING" I just quietly try and distance myself from the situation and secretly hate that person until the end of time.

 

i cant say i wouldn't be a little unnerved like the OP if this happened to me BUT i think i would just remind myself that a lot of times people see what they WANT to see. =]

i love creepy things so sometimes people will have a doll that they hope is cute and not at all creepy (sense creepy is one of the things that offends alot of doll owners) but say they give her red eyes (or pink for an albino doll or something) and still everyone else see's cute but chances are when i look at her im going to see adorably creepy. i would never want to hurt the owners feelings and alot of the times when i go to compliment a doll i like im afraid to use the choice of words i want to use because i dont want to upset them if its not what they are going for.

in the OP's situation i think this is the case. they both love emo boys so if anything about your dolls looks even slightly emo (the hairstyle, the outfit, the mood of the face up) they probably fell in love with it and convinced themselves your boys are adorable emo dolls. it sounds like you handled it perfectly and they do sound like they dont know anything about the dolls so they probably dont know how much these dolls mean to their owners.

edit: oops lol gothponydoll basically said it better and faster than i did.

 

I think you did the right thing though by responding so politely! It sets a good example and now they'll look at you as a good sport.
Though as a person who tends to be on the more 'goth' side, you can tell that they've never known better.

People have been calling EVERYONE and EVERYTHING 'emo' that wears even the slightest of black. But trust me, they don't the difference of between someone who's emo/goth/punk etc.

I heavily draw bishonen and though they are gay, they don't EVER look like women. But it's the default nature of hearing 'she's so pretty' all the time that I come to expect it. Westerners are not especially accustomed to seeing it...I guess.

But I think that by venting and getting it off your chest, It prevents you from screaming at them you know? lol.
Everyone needs to get frustrated, it only shows you care! And don't bother correcting them. If you come to expect it and make a joke of it, you'll know who will be on your level when they pleasantly surprise you with some respect!

 

I agree totally with this.

 

It simply wouldn't bother me as I'm sure my ideas about what is Goth, etc are probably out of the norm. And as for emo, I'm simply too old to even know what it means. If someone did call my doll that, I'd have to ask them to explain because I'm clueless.

 

eh, people's perceptions won't always line up w/our intentions (or reality, for that matter). Once, at work, one co-worker commented that another co-worker "looked a little goth", but she really didn't....like, she really didn't, she just happened to be wearing a black sweater! O_o

The point is: people will try to classify things as being the closest thing that makes sense to them, regardless of whether that's reality, or what you're trying to present, etc.

 

I sorta get offended when they generalize my doll into something that he's not. I sorta hate it too when my friends generalize all owners of dolls as "Lolita" or something (and they call them "gay" if it's a guy owner >< ). One of them even told me once "Oh hey, you've got a doll! Is that the trend with Lolis nowadays? I see a lot of Lolis bringing dolls!" Well I'm not Loli and he's not emo (quite the opposite, really). I guess their perception of the community is quite limited at this point so attitudes like mine would be sort of unfair to them (I get offended quite easily).

 

A lot of BJDs look broody, and to a lot of people broody/kind of dark=emo. A lot of them look feminine... even being used to it I have thought a number of male dolls were female from the company shots, and to a lot of people feminine appearance (in a guy)=gay. White skin and pale pink dolls, especially with darker features, will look goth to many people.

If someone doesn't mean a comment as an insult, then it's best not to take it as one, both parties involved will feel better. I get mistaken for a guy a lot by cashiers and such, and I've really stopped minding. If it bothered me that much I could grow out my hair again (which I don't want to do), wear makeup more often (which I don't care to do), wear more feminine clothing (which I do, just not all the time). Being mistaken for a guy is the cost of looking and dressing how I want, and people not understanding is the cost of having this hobby, at least for the time being.

 

Well Helen and Ginger are goth/punk girls so I guess I can't complain, haha. I'd probably get annoyed if people called them that and they weren't supposed to be goth though.

 

I would be upset myself, because i have seen how teens with that lifestyle have acted and with those experiences I try to not make anything I do art/writing/doll wise that is remotely close to their "sub-culture" Not to generalize but a lot of people new to the BJD would make a shallow judgement. It has happened to me before thankfully not in regards to my dolls but never the less if you dont like that kind of the crowd, you dont wanna be looped in with them.

I would be a bit matter of fact and indignant if it were me. But that's spiteful me when it comes to those situations. I dont care for dramatics but I do like to defend myself and my creative ideas from being labeled as something as mindless and conforming as Emo or scene. I think if you have the experiences with people generalizing way too much you should add something that counters what they may consider EMO. Like a shirt with "WWJD" lol

 

I can see this happening when I get my doll. He will be a bit dark but nothing in his character says he's emo or Gothic, it's like how people stereo type others sometimes it happens to dolls too.

 

Oh god that's hilarious!! -->

I'm at the opposite end of the problem, here I have a boy doll who I'm trying hard TO MAKE EMO cause that's just his character, but I'm failing terribly because I know nothing about emo and I'm way too nerdy for any emo to let me into their scene. (feels ostracised)

 

The part I don't understand is why so many people in this thread are saying "Well, hoping to find one under a hundred dollars just shows their horrid horrid ignorance and makes them bad people", and "They should find out more about the doll's character before they say such meeeen things". You can't tell me that, when you saw your first doll, you thought "Aha! That must cost somewhere between $200 and $900, be made in a tiny workshop in Asia and be of intense emotional signifigance to its owner. I'll not use any adjectives or pronouns, for fear of hurting them." You probably said "Cool doll. She's so cute/creepy/pretty and punk/goth/loli/emo/whatever. Where can I get one?" then, after hearing the price, "Where can I get a cheaper one, to start off with?"

We weren't all born with an innate knowledge of tsundere nekomimi bishounen, or whatever the cool kids are dressing their dollies as these days. For that matter, we don't all have barcode scanners in our heads that let us immediately know the price of everything we look at.

As an answer to the "What if someone called your doll goth/emo/etc?" question - I don't think it's as applicable in the UK, really. We do have all these fantastic subcultures, where the divisions are close together and fiercely defended; "That's not crust-punk! It's hardcore mixed with surf in greasy trousers!", but the only people who seem to care about them are the members of the individual subcultures themselves. To everyone else, "Punk" covers everything with safety pins in, "Goth" covers everything in fishnet, and "Emo" covers participants in either scene under the age of nineteen. By this token, if someone called my dolls by the name of some subculture, I'd probably just laugh along with them.

 

People can call my doll anything they like, it's not gonna hurt their feelings.