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People trying to talk you out of buying a BJD?

Apr 28, 2016

    1. I am happy that my old parents has no problem with it. If one or more of my dolls are in the living room i don't bring them upstairs if my parents come around.

      My mother collected Indonesian Wayang Golek dolls, so she is not surprised about the BJD's, for her it is just a different kind of doll. She like it that they are all elves. No wonder for me since she wrestled her way through the original Lord of the Rings books, the Never Ending Story and all of that kinds of books.

      My father is an artist in drawing, nowadays on computer with Corel Draw and other software (he is 80) but in the old days on paper with pencils or paintings. In his far past he had a Walt Disney education as drawer for commercials, art and comics. Because i mod the dolls to fit their characters he sees it more as sculpting and sculptures.

      But, they get older and despite my mother is a former business woman with a good set of brains, i noticed that "the value of money" start to fade. Not that they cant deal with money, but somehow the understanding of what you can do with 100 euro's today in comparison with the same amount of money in "their time". It a bit hard to explain for me because i run into the very edge of my knowledge about the english language now. Anyway, we don't talk about the prices.

      My parents never talked me out of spendings, they only asked me if it could be done and the needed amount of money was free for spending.
       
    2. Yes! My family's group chat tried to talk me out of buying my first doll. They said it was a bit silly and creepy to be buying such an expensive doll. I think they meant it in a light hearted manner, though. They've found my non-BJD dolls to be pretty charming.
       
    3. I always feared that peple would try to talk me out of the hobby if I told them about it, especially when it comes to pricing of the dolls. In fact, nobody really tried to until now. My best friend has a very good sense for art and that is what he sees in this, some kind of art (like I feel about most dolly myself) and additionaly he is used to me having rather weird hobbies xD
      My mother just listened to me when I told her about the dolls and at the end I almost had the impression she was happy that I had finally decided to get myself a "girly" hobby... because I think that is what she sees in this :roll: whatever, as long as she is fine with it.
      In the end I wouldn't have mattered, I have never had any problems with joining a hobby on my own without having someone to understand it. It makes me happy and that is what I care about :)
       
    4. I am so grateful that some of my mom's friends collect dolls (not bjd, but Madame Alexander, Barbie, etc). It makes my collecting dolls seem fairly normal to her, although we don't discuss prices except to say that they are "expensive". My husband DOES know the prices and we do discuss every purchase. He doesn't much see the appeal (although he does like the Dollfie Dreams--HA!), but his hobby is tech stuff, which can be very expensive, too. So it's a compromise.
       
    5. I once had a passing fancy to shell a video game character neither me nor my then boyfriend liked. The urge hit me strong, and I wasn't sure if the idea was a good one. I asked him to talk me out of it, and he was happy to oblige.
       
    6. I often try to talk myself out of buying them ! But, who am I kidding ? It is impossible not to buy more when your best friend is a bad influence, and even your Mum gets in on the excitement of sewing new clothes for them :D I have 7 now, with number 8 paid for and soon to be on the way home.
       
    7. This happens to me with a lot of purchases/activities my mom finds 'frivilous' and is actually the reason after loving bjds for years, I've never owned one. I will comment that I'm planning on doing something and then I'll get, "Don't forget you need to replace that window on the house" or something similar. I've got a good job and I stick to my budget and have a plan for home improvements, but am also at a point where I have been saving my money so I have extra to spend on a doll. I find it is best for me to just go with my instincts and get what I want, then deal with the comments later. It is hard when you can't be excited about it with your family, though...
       
    8. Well my sister tried to talk me out of it but for a good reason I wanted a doll then and there she convinced me not to and wait a few more weeks to get enough money for the one I really wanted.. my little brother on the other hand just kept insulting me for it basically saying I was stupid and pathetic but in meaner terms almost made me not buy one until I realised I earn money he doesn't I can do whatever I please with my money and shouldn't feel bad for it(he's 16 and going through a a-hole phase)
       
    9. My family isn't mean about, even though they don't get it. I've been asked "Why do you need more?" which isn't easy to answer. My method is now to make sure I can afford it, buy the doll, and admit it later.
       
    10. I have had the opposite problem, my doll friends are loveable enabling monsters and I shamelessly blame several of them directly for some of the dolls in my out-of-control collection. :o

      On a serious note, I know it’s sometimes a huge letdown to feel unsupported in a hobby endeavor that means a lot, especially if it’s someone you care about or otherwise get along or interact with...so for those who have some discouragement, I’d like to suggest minimizing the influence of these people’s opinion on your doll hobby and to maybe avoid letting them have much to say about it if they offer more un-needed discouragement than true insight. Some of the people I know and interact with think the doll hobby is dumb and pointless, greedy, consumerist, egotistical, weird, creepy, indulgent, immature...I could go on...and those are NOT the people I go to when I want to share my dolly obsession. Few people outside the hobby or even on the fringes, really ‘get’ the hobby and the depth of our involvement in it, IMO.
       
      • x 2
    11. I keep telling my mom my fight between which BJD I love better and would drop my money on. Once I told her, she replied to me saying that maybe I shouldn't buy one since I'm too unsure. That isn't the issue though I want to say! They're just so beautiful that I want them both! I think she isn't too keen about me being in this hobby, but I've wanted a BJD for so long! I can't help it that I find all of them beautiful!

      I've also had friends try backing me out of a cheap doll just because it was "cheap". I didn't mind that they were cheap because score for me, but the sculpt was just my favorite!
       
    12. Living alone I don't have any one to talk me out of it. My rule of thumb is if bills are paid, petrol in car, food bought, etc then why not enjoy your hobby. in fact im the sort that the more people tell me not to then I will.
      Try not to let people put you off buy that doll and enjoy your hobby
       
      • x 1
    13. My mom tried to,lol
       
    14. No not the same, but I listening for months that how much I pay for my doll, and how much money I lost when I sold my Iple boy. :roll: It made me pretty nervous, because my mom have got cameras and gym machines. And shoes. Lots of shoes. So I am not really the one in the family with expensive hobby.
       
    15. My husband doesn’t understand why I need more dolls. So I’ve decided to not tell him when I buy a doll. When they arrive there is nothing he can do since they are already payed.
       
    16. If you are financially independent and you won't get starved in the next few days because of the expenses, then go for it. Hobby will consume time and money, but it's a good way for stress relief and enjoying life more.

      "If you buy it, you will probably regret for three days. If not, you will regret for three years." ;)
       
    17. I haven't encountered the problem and would be unlikely to because if someone tried that with me, I'd go ahead with my plans and either not talk to them about it again, or tell them they've made their opinion clear and there's no need for them to repeat it, or (this is more likely given my tendency to dig my heels in and fight back) start relentlessly criticising their own spending on "non-essential" items until they give up on the subject.

      Surely that is the point where you show them to the door and politely tell them they will be welcome to visit again once they adjust their bad attitudes toward controlling your life. Or start walking away and refusing to engage with them as soon as they start on the subject, until they give up bringing it up....?

      Just because they're your parents doen't mean you have to listen to them nagging you. Walk away whenever they start to nag and they'll either stop trying to nag you, or you'll minimise contact with them. Either way you don't have to put up with them doing it.

      The choice is, of course, yours.

      Teddy
       
      #77 Teddy, May 23, 2019
      Last edited: May 23, 2019
      • x 1
    18. Almost everyone I knew tried to talk me out of ordering my first doll. I didn't tell my family right away that I was planing on getting a BJD, I knew how they would have reacted to it. I saved for months to get my first doll, this wasn't unusual for me no one thought anything of it, I bought a couple prepaid cards and ordered the doll before telling my family. They were not happy, at first they thought I was crazy for spending that much money on a doll and told me it was immature and stupid of me to buy it. They also told me I would out grow it and lose interest in it in a couple of months. That was almost 5 years ago and I am still interested in the hobby, active in the hobby and my family has learned to accept and support me in my hobby.
       
    19. i feel like it happens a lot,the more expensive the hobby the more people tend to fuse. i collect anime figures i cosplay and i collect bjd all 3 hobbies are pretty pricey and ive gotten into some nasty fights with my mom/friends over it but this it how i go about it. as long as your nor financially crippling yourself and your feel happy with the out come of the purchase then i think it's ok. so many times my moms gotten mad at me for buying a new doll and i felt bad but the moment i got the doll i couldnt have been more happier and it was well worth the money spent. so if your not breaking a leg to get it and your happy the fighting is something you may just have to live with but dont let it get you down, if your mom yells about how much you spent you have us to yell wice as loud about how cute the sculpt is