People Who Should NOT Have Dolls?

crap, double post. :_:

 

I'm in the "talk openly" camp. I can't stand surface relationships - to me they are a waste of time. One of the sayings I have come to detest is "It's all good'" To me that means "It's all nothing."

Yep, dolls are inanimate objects, and there are people in many hobbies who will encounter this. "What, they left this ::vase/necklace/painting/baseball glove:: sitting in their closet!" That's life. What's more important are the people. What kind of friendship do you want to have? I don't think being a yes-man does anyone any good. You can disagree with a friend without it turning into a war, and if you can't, then I don't think it's much of a friendship.

Maybe they will end up loving it: people may not change, but they can grow. If not - c'est la vie.

Personally, I like being challenged about what I do. It gives me a reason to sit and work out my motivations. I often learn things about myself that way.

 

I don't have a job though That's why when I finally do get one I will commense operation: Doll Family~

 

It's a different situation if you're personally involved. She's messing with you then. But I still say that other than that it's none of your business. If someone else is getting screwed then it's their responsibility to deal with her, not your's.

When did people get the idea that it's ok to stick their noses into other adults' business over trivial matters? Unless a living being is being abused or neglected let people live their own lives. Don't you have enough things to deal with in your own life to keep you busy without interferring in others'?

 

In my opinion, it's ALWAYS your own business if you're paying the bills or not. Yes, it does change the situation. But you had the talk. There isn't much else you can do - what are you going to do, cut up her credit card? There are some people in life who just aren't prepared for the real world from a financial viewpoint, and the only thing you can do to help them is wait for them to work it out themselves. You can talk and suggest all you like, as long as you're polite about it - after sitting down and having the talk, if she's still not serious about paying the bills, I would probably give her one or two more warnings then move out. People who are incapable with money need to learn, and they need to learn fast. I think moving out would be the only way that's going to reach them fast enough before they're having to declare themselves bankrupt. Furthermore, I would never, ever want to get myself involved in somebody else's finances, especially if they're not good with money. I don't want to be anywhere in the mix if it turns sour.

If she's living with someone else, once again, it's none of my business. I might advise them that it's not fair, but if their roommate doesn't have the guts to stand up for his/herself, then that's their problem. And yeah, I know this entire post made me seem like an unhelpful little...something, but people imposing on my or someone else's personal (and I find how you finance your lifestyle very personal) business one of the rudest things imaginable. I don't know when we started babying our friends and laying things out for them like they're five year olds, but some people just need to learn the hard way, or they're not going to learn at all.

 

I've known someone like this (although they didn't make a good pay check, they just scammed the money from parents/boyfriends) and did the whole suggesting that it was a big expense and not a descision made lightly

Believe me that did not go over well, we don't talk anymore (something I'm actually happy about actually) but she's been known to tell people she still wants to get one and that she's gonna make them better than mine e_e

Personally I would still discourage the expense if the situation came up again despite the grief and harrassment it caused me.

Other people I would perhaps even greatly encourage the interest in the hobby but then perhaps expose them to it more, show them all the different types and molds and such, I find those who are serious will then go on a big researching spree and find the doll that they really love after a long while of looking.
However for those who are just doing this as a casual fling with thier money will see all the sudden research as too much when all they wanted to do was throw money at the lastest fad and forget about it.

 

I honestly think people that are not serious about the hobby (for example: buying bjd's because someone else has them) shold not get them.

 

Agreed.
I cannot tell another adult what to do or not do with their money. However, as a friend I can say I'm concerned for you and this is why...
I'm just one of those people who thinks that's what friends are for.
Sometimes it takes a good friend who knows how to talk to you to point out the trees in the forest.

 

Nobody's business what people do with their own money (or money they get from their parents... In that case, the parents may get a say, but not anyone else).

If someone asks for advice, then go head and say what you think. Or you can go ahead and say what you think anyway--but just remember that you don't get to decide for anyone else. It's up to them how they want to spend their money.

Personally, I wouldn't encourage an interest in bjds. If someone wants one enough, they won't need any encouragement.

I might try to discourage a bit, saying it's expensive... a big time and money sink... but if you love it, it's a lot of fun! Kind of give the pros and cons. But just because I feel like someone is being irresponsible or whatever--well, I'm not their MOTHER. And if I was going to try and be a good friend, I'd try and be very, very careful in saying something... and make sure my motives aren't driven by some desire to rule their life (which plenty of people seem to like to do to other people).

 

If someone wants a bjd then they have every right to buy one. Afterall it's their money and they are only buying an inanimate object. That being said it doesn't mean I don't cringe when I see how some people treat their dolls. I just make sure that those same people do not touch mine

 

If it's there money they can spend it how they want. While I think bjd owners should be responsible for their dolls, if someone is rich enough to buy an expensive doll and treat it like a toy it's their choice. Honestly, people should be able to do what they want with their own possessions without being judged...so long as they are not hurting someone.

 

You have to let them learn in their own way. If they are bad with money, nothing you do will help them until they realize they need help. As for #2, you can't save the world. People will do thing you don't approve of, but again it is thier choice.

 

I would tell them "good for you! hope you like it! but if you ever get tired of it, give them to me!" XD

I have no right to tell them that they should not buy it, even if I know they're irresponsible or lose interest fast...you never know and maybe this is the hobby for them because that's how you find your passion(by experimenting) so I'd just say 'go for it!' or 'good for you!' (plus 'give it to me' lol).

 

Someone who is irresponsible with money: I would warn them that the hobby is really expensive and addictive. I would remind them that a doll comes nude and everything else has to be bought seperately. I would recommend that they won't do layaway, but save up enough to purchase the desired doll (so they won't get in trouble with payments). I'd also advice them to take their time thinking about this decision. So I wouldn't discourage them completely, but I would feel the need to make them aware of these things. If they still decide to promptly buy one, or do layaway etc. then it is their decision.

Someone who is irresponsible with posessions: I would tell them how to care for a doll, which problems may arise (staining for example) and how to prevent these things and what to do when it is already too late. I might even gift them melanine blocks, if they refuse to buy it. If their doll becomes damaged or dirty, I might offer to clean it or repair it. However, in the end, it is again their money, their decision and their doll(s).

Someone who shares bills with me, doesn't pay, but does buy a doll: I would get angry and tell them to start paying the bills. There is a limit to my generosity and if the next month (s)he still leaves me hanging, I'd move out or kick him/her out. I would still require them to pay the money they own me. If they chose not to do so, I will see if I could legally force them. If not, everyone will know (s)he screwed me over and the friendship would be over. I wouldn't want to live with a person who is irresponsible with money though.

Someone shares bill with a roommate, doesn't pay, but does buy a doll: I would honestly tell them they are being an #ssh#l# to that person and that (s)he should pay the bills first. That is how far I would go. The rest is up to their roommate though.

I tend to be "too honest". If you ask me if the dress makes you look fat and it does, I will say yes. I'm also a b*tch when it comes to people who (I feel) wronged me. Giving "gifts" might seem passive agressive, but I see it as a win-win situation. The person receives a free item and I feel better. They can chose not to use it, but at least the excuse of "I don't have any" is eliminated. xD

 

I'll come in on behalf of the people who bounce from "love" to "love" hobby-wise. I've been through a lot of hobbies, and I'm betting everyone who knows me thought dolls were a passing phase, too. I've found the one thing that I can stick with that lets me dabble in all the other hobbies I took time to learn about, invest in, and then fell out of. You never know what people will do when something inspires them. I've known a lot of 'irresponsible' people to suddenly become serious and responsible over things like having a place of their own, or a car, or a kid, why not a doll?

Artists. Artists scare me. You never know what they will do with a doll, LOL!

 

I'm also one of those people who falls in and out of love easily, but I've found that even if I put my dolls down for a while, there's always a reason to come back to them. Maybe I'm looking for a character to inspire a new story that I'm writing, or maybe I want to try my hand at sewing again. No matter what artistic pursuit I'm in the mood for, I usually find some way of getting the dolls involved. I think they're actually very good for people like me who bounce around, as mentioned by the poster above!

 

I think all persons can have a doll if they want to, especially when they have the money to buy it. I think whatever happens to the doll they bought whether good or bad its their owner's concern already.