Reasons for Doll Sexuality

For those with straight dolls
-Did you know your doll was going to be straight when you bought him/her?

Nope. He kind of decided that for himself. I know that sounds really weird but it really feels like I had nothing to do with the decision.

-Did you choose for them to be straight or did they demand or ask to be so?

As soon as he met my best friend's adorable MSD girl, it was love at first sight... I really, really wasn't expecting it... I'd even planned the character to have a boyfriend. But as soon as he started posing and we took pictures of them together, we knew they were just "meant to be". Does that make sense?

-Are your dolls straight as opposed to gay or bi due to your own personal beliefs or because of the beliefs of family?

No! I plan to have gay/bi dolls in the future, for characters that I've already created. And no, my family is very tolerant and open-minded. I'm very lucky with that.

-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner whose doll is also straight to hook up with?

Again, I actually realized he was straight when he met my best friend's girl. *shrug* It wasn't planned, I swear.

-Are there any sculpts that demand to be straight or do you choose regardless or sculpt?

...I don't think the sculpt has to do with it. At all.

-Is your doll obviously straight or does thier style suggest otherwise? (a boy that wears pink for example.)

Ummmm.... some people have said "he looks gay", but I really don't know. O_o I like to sew pretty things, so he might be a dress or skirt model in the future? I don't know.

 

Woo, this will be hard to keep up with... I combined two sets of questions here...


-Did you know your doll was going to be gay/bi when you bought him/her?
I had no idea what Haven was going to be when I got him... I fell in love with his mold and had to have him. I didn't know anything about him for several months. As for Lucilius, he didn't have a sexuality either until I got him. Then he was supposed to be gay. And now he's bi. O.o

-What draws you to wanting gay dolls?
Probably because of the fact I have slight gender confusion (I best describe myself as a man in a woman's body), and if I were indeed male, I'd be gay. Mostly. And I have gay friends. *shrugs*

-Do your doll/s cause controversy within your family? If not to they accept it or have you just not told them?
Honestly, no. I don't tell my family much about my dolls, but they know me well enough to not be surprised. My family's pretty laid back about that sort of thing, and don't care what orientation you are.

-Are there certain sculpts that tend to demand to be gay or do you choose all on your own?
For me, the character chooses. I rarely decide anything with them. Though, come to think of it, there are some exceptionally girly boys out there.

-Do your dolls reflect something in yourself or is their sexuality completely independent?
Completely independent. While I do have trouble imagining being 100% either way, I do have characters who are.

-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner whose doll is also gay or bi to hook up with?
I RP with my girlfriend and other people, so I guess the second part is more like me, though I don't feel it necessary for my characters to have partners.

-Did any of your dolls end up being gay/bi even if it was not intended or against your beliefs?
It was unintended for Haven to be gay. I was expecting a woman for his partner, and we'd tried everything, my girlfriend and I. He was just set on being gay. As for Lucilius, he was supposed to be gay, but ended up falling in love with one of my girlfriend's female characters.

-Are there any people you do not feel comfortable with sharing his/her sexuality with? -Do you ever say your doll is either straight or gay to please someone else or to avoid drama?
No, not really. I only keep things from people who really don't want to know that much about my dolls. I like to respect their beliefs and opinions. We usually end up talking about something else. It's not discomfort, merely respect, on my part. And while I avoid drama, and generally abide by the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, I will answer if asked.

-Is your doll gay simply because you are and straight just doesn't appeal to you?
A big, resounding no.

-Do you feel the need to give your doll both a boy and a girl friend, or does he/her have a single friend and just has feelings for the other gender as well?
Not really... One is usually good enough for me, but if another crops up that both parties are interested in, and they're able to share... Well, why not?

 

I don't quite follow you. How come a fictional gay vampire is better than a fictional gay human? They are both not real and both gay. Why is one type of gay okay and the other not?

You're saying that a character with quality X is wrong, because X is wrong, but a character with Y and X is okay. X will still be wrong, right?
Vampirism is a made up condition or a racial quality, depending on how you want to look at it. What does it have to do with sexuality?

I have an incubus character, but originally an incubus is a type of demon who rapes women in their sleep. My incubus character is a pretty special snowflake, because he doesn't rape. I don't like rape, it makes me feel highly uncomfortable, so no rapist characters in my house and the fact that an incubus is a fictional character and not real does not change my feelings about rape. In my book rape is never okay.
I can understand that you have a certain opinion about homosexuality, but not that you have this rather dubious reason to make it okay for your doll.

 

I have to say, while I don't normally get into these types of arguments, I have to agree with Muisje. I see things like this happen more often then it should, really. I'll reserve my judgement on what I feel may cause it because it's not my place to say, but it's somewhat perplexing reasoning if you ask me. As someone who is attracted to both genders as well, it is a bit unsettling to see people say on one hand that they think it's so wrong, but at the same time that they can totally play around with it and it's just fine because the type of creature that is expressing that sexuaility isn't a real type of creature. Maybe it's because I don't know what exactly is meant by it, but it makes me feel there is something more underneath the surface that is not being stated, and that always makes me wonder what exactly someone's true intentions behind something are.

As I said, though, I don't know the true reason behind it, so I won't pass judgement, just that it doesn't sit right with me for some reason. If you believe one thing, that's fine, but don't throw out your dislike of something so much and then proceed to say that you can still play with it, even if it's just so bad, because you're doing it with something that doesn't exist, which makes it alright, whereas it's not alright with those who actually do exist.

Hopefully that made sense.

 

The entire point of the survey in this thread is essentially, "How does your personal sexuality, morality or sense of ethics inform your decisions when you assign attributes to your inanimate doll in order to imbue it with a personality that you want to explore in a fictional setting?" The assumption that we are dealing with fiction is already implicit. The dolls don't have any personality trait we don't assign to them (thus I don't believe that there are any doll sculpts that are inherently "gay"), so all doll characters gay, straight, innocent, criminal, human or demonic are equally fictional.

To say that you don't create any characters for your dolls with a homosexual orientation because you "don't believe in it" is the point of confusion for me. If the statement is that you don't believe homosexuals exist, I really have no response for that, but if you are saying that you believe homosexual behavior is reprehensible in the way that Muisje says rape is reprehensible, then why is it less troublesome when the behavior is assigned to a vampire character? You excuse vampires from the same moral judgement presumably because they are predatory beasts (with no soul and therefore are incapable of transgression) and only regard humans as a means to physical satiation. This line of reasoning seems to imply that homosexuals are thus behaving as beasts with no moral compass, but they should know better because they are human.

In answer to the original query:
I assign a sexual nature to my dolls because they are representations of humans and humans are sexual beings. That expression of sexuality can run the gamut from pansexual to asexual, either end of the spectrum is still a defining characteristic. I know what sexual orientation I will assign to my dolls before I purchase them and they are not all the same. They don't change once they arrive unless I later decide to partner them with another particular doll and the change is required for plausibility. Human sexuality is a continuum that can shift over time, and revisionist history is pretty easy when nothing was written down anyway. Female homosexual characters are the most rare in my crew because I prefer to explore fictional characters that are living lives different from my own. I don't subscribe to the rules of any particular religious institution, but I would not say that I lack spirituality. My beliefs don't proscribe assigning any particular attributes to a doll because I understand that it's a fiction and I don't feel that my imagination needs to be reined in the way my actions do. I find that trying to create plausible characters who do not think or feel the way I do is a more interesting exercise.

 

For those with undecided or bi dolls
-Was your doll at first intended to be either gay or straight and neither seemed to fit or were they always going to be bi?
I'm undecided. I haven't actually held him yet, because based on the picture I have no clue. He may be asexual.
-Do you feel your doll expresses thing in yourself or is his/her sexuality independent?
I believe it's going to be up to him, how I feel when I have him in person. ^.^
-Does your doll cause conflict with friends and family?
Haha, a lot of my friends have no idea why one would even get a BJD, but that's a whole 'nother drama.
-Do you ever say your doll is either straight or gay to please someone else or to avoid drama?
Nope, never will. Even if he's a complicated one, like pansexual.
-Is your doll bi even though it is against your beliefs?
Nope.
-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner to hook up with?
My next doll is going to be an SD whereas he's and MSD, so not yet.
-Do you feel the need to give your doll both a boy and a girl friend, or does he/her have a single friend and just has feelings for the other gender as well? Gosh, it would be great to get him a partner, just broke. Now I'm off to go find a mate. ^.^;

 

By stating that the character is bi when you find having a same-sex relationship reprehensible is in itself exploring and "playing" with the idea of being in a same sex relationship.

The way you describe bisexuality for your vampires actually sounds more like asexuality or bi-gender if you want to get technical. That being said, it is still something that can be seen as offensive in the way you claim something that many people feel is natural and not wrong at all is wrong and then still have a doll that is something you say is so bad. Bi, Gay, Lesbian, Asexual, Transexual, Bi-gender, it's still a doll that is glorifying and exploring a different sexuality then the norm, and as such, simply saying that one is wrong and that this one is alright because it's only "half" that way will still make people unhappy.

It also might do to research the different types of sexuality there are out there before tying one to it, as I mentioned before that what your definition of bi is sounds more like asexuality or bi-gender, which are different things.

But I've said my peace. Unless I'm mentioning my own alternate-sexuality characters, I probably won't be coming back here.

 

I'm sorry you feel singled out, Kidra Risirthid. Your statement simply made me curious since I couldn't follow the logic. It is not my intention to tell you your beliefs in any particular thing are wrong any more than it was your intention to offend. Since this is a discussion which you began, I thought you might be interested in talking further about the subject and the thread could have a little more depth than simple yes or no answers to a survey. Sexuality is an extremely complex topic, so applying the topic to dolls is going to inspire some interesting questions, no?

 

-Did you know your doll was going to be straight when you bought him/her?
I had no idea what Fion's or Nameless' sexual orientation would be when I first held either of them!

-Did you choose for them to be straight or did they demand or ask to be so?
It was more like I can to a mutual decision with both of my girls without thinking about it. Sounds a bit odd, but one moment they had no sexual orientation and the next they were heterosexual. It just was, rather than something I thought alot about or something that they screamed at me.

-Are your dolls straight as opposed to gay or bi due to your own personal beliefs or because of the beliefs of family?
No, it has always been more about how their character concepts developed over time.

-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner whose doll is also straight to hook up with?
I've never felt the need with Fion, but it's early days yet. She might turn away from being a recluse with a tendency towards geekery and decide she'd like someone to cuddle with : ) However, Nameless is too busy worshipping Cthulhu to care about boyfriends.

-Are there any sculpts that demand to be straight or do you choose regardless or sculpt?
For me, I think it's more a case of the character behind the doll rather than the scuplt.

-Is your doll obviously straight or does thier style suggest otherwise? (a boy that wears pink for example.)
Nameless just looks like a sweet, disarming young lady. Fion doesn't really dress to suit her sexual orientation, her style connects more with her personality than anything else!

 

I'm not a mod but I'm trying to figure out how this line of discussion could cause the thread to be locked by one. The title of the thread is Reasons for Doll Sexuality, it is posted in General Discussion, and as such, people are currently discussing the reasons for your doll's sexuality. I think it would be difficult for a discussion in a thread to be any more relevant than this.

Taking it to PMs would defeat the purpose of a General Discussion section, which is to discuss together as a doll community (as in, numerous people at a time) the topic at hand.


Rather than rehashing the previous points on your doll's sexuality, I will say that I'm with St James and hellsingmongrel on this in that I understand their opinions and find your reasoning interestingly unusual enough that it merits the discussion so far.

 

In going back and reading all of the responses to these questions it is interesting to note:

There are three different people who identify their bi-sexual doll as a vampire and therefore exempt from their own heterosexual preferences. There is also one vampire doll who is asexual, which makes more sense to me.

There are a number of owners who decided to make their dolls gay before purchase because it was "cute." No doll owners who made their dolls straight gave this as a reason.

A number of doll owners equate bi-sexuality with polyamory. None of these doll owners identify themselves as bi-sexual.

Many owners don't see how the sexuality they assign to their dolls illustrates anything about their own sexuality.

Some owners are willing to comment on the sexual orientation of their dolls but not how it relates to their own lives, which seems to defeat the purpose of answering the questions at all.

And stating the obvious: Every doll owner has different limits.
Some owners refuse to assign a personality to an inanimate object. Most answers in this vein sound impatient with the line of questioning, as would be expected.
Some owners prefer to gloss over the idea that sexuality is intrinsic to any living thing, even though they have created a character for a doll that "lives" in their mind.
Some owners prefer to remain comfortably in the bounds of the known and enjoy creating stories for their doll that promote relaxing play without conflict (which they relate to romance or sexuality).
Some owners prefer to create "escapist" sexualities for their dolls that are different from their own because they find it a safe way to play with something they perceive as controversial.

Ultimately, the assignment of a sexual orientation to an inanimate doll seems to boil down to aesthetic choices. Two dolls look good together so a pretext for pairing them is invented. Some owners don't require a pretext, some owners relish creating one.
When I make a choice to buy a doll that will be matched up with another doll I give myself a few options and select the sculpt that will look best with the other doll. My primary method of play in this hobby is photography so if I want to play with my doll by trying to evoke a particular character from it in a photo, I like to give myself as much advantage in front of the camera as I can (i.e. no struggling to make two dolls look the same size, and no poor engineering so they won't even stay posed). A lot of dolls have been ruled out this way, so it would seem that the assignment of a sexual nature to the doll has dictated which doll I purchase. I've been somewhat aware of this in my buying habits, but hadn't really articulated it. Thanks for the food for thought, everyone!

 

I'm gay and I have two gay dolls, two straight dolls and two bisexual dolls and one asexual doll.

My gay dolls are human and a werewolf.

My straight dolls are a vampire and a robot.

My Bisexual dolls are an elf and a fox spirit.

My asexual doll is a cyborg.

I like to think despite being gay, my doll's sexualities are pretty spread out.

 

I think people have been pretty civilised in this discussion and there is no reason to become defensive when people say they don’t understand and no need to blame it on other people's reading skills. People can’t look inside your head and they won’t know what’s going on in there unless you share those things. On a forum like DoA you have to communicate with written text and if you write "bi(sexual)" in a topic about sexuality I’m not quick to assume you mean something else than the meaning of the word bisexual (=sexual attraction to both (two/bi) genders).

If the character is bisexual then it has X + A (sexual attraction to the same gender (X) and sexual attraction to the opposite gender (A)) and in that case there is still X, which I do not understand. However, if what Hellsingmongrel suggested is the case, that you say bi and mean bi-gender or asexual, it becomes better to understand. This would also not be the fault of reading skills, but of your comprehension of the terminology you used and this is something that can be cleared up by simply talking about it in a calm and civilised manner.
[edit] To get really "into the alphabet" I realise that in my example X = sexual attraction to the same gender and Y = vampirism. In Kidra Risirthid's example Y = a character, X = sexual attraction to the same gender, and Z = vampirism. However, if the vampire is bisexual it has X and A. If the vampire is not bi as in bisexual, but bi as in bi-gender or asexual, it does not have to have X. [/edit]

I'd like to end with a small piece of advice: We are talking about people's sexuality here and this is a personal and sensitive subject. Sense of identity and acceptance is an integral part of this subject and that sometimes makes people worry, feel insecure or hurt if you are not careful when wording your thoughts. Kidra Risirthid, you have frivolously used "gay" as a swearword on this forum before and then attributed that to the fact that you were unaware people could take offence. I think that by now it's clear this is a sensitive subject, but one people still like to talk about in a civilised manner and instead of tearing you apart, people simply asked if you could explain certain things you said so it would become clear to those people if it was a case of misunderstanding or something offensive.
It seems that this case was a misunderstanding of words and what they mean. Now that the matter is cleared up, it won't bother me.