Reasons for Doll Sexuality

? St. James wasn't trying to get you angry, or anyone angry, she was confused. As were a lot of people were about your statement. And many DoArs here would be able to have this sort of civilised conversation face to face, as opposed to hiding behind a computer screen.

Kidra, Muisje is only using that as an example, and only mentioned it once. Your action has stuck in a LOT of people's minds. Being civilised means accepting that you did something wrong, not hiding it away.

As to on topic; That's really interesting St. James, why people have chosen their dolls to be gay because it's 'cute'. It makes me want to read through the thread again to see what else pops up.

For my dolls... I haven't chosen their sexualities, as they have FAR more interesting characteristics than who they prefer in bed. Sexuality as a defining characteristic is getting ooold. If I really had to force it, I'd guess they'd be all straight.

 

Slightly puzzled because everyone here has been very civil (and considering the topic, there could be far more vitriol) so I don't feel like anyone has been attacking you. It is normal for a discussion to have agreements/disagreements, as long as everyone is civil about it. Perhaps I participate into too many debates (in RL and online) and have a skewed perception now...

As idrisfynn said, people will talk about the questions in a discussion thread. But you can choose to reply purely in meme style and ignore the discussion going on. As you consider your own logic flawed, it's really no surprise people find it confusing and want to discuss it.

I'm going to comment on this doll sexuality thing, and it is not targeted at you because I'm certain that in this large forum, there are others who believe and do as you do. I invite anyone to comment/agree/disagree on it in hopes to produce a fruitful discussion.



In the case of someone who chooses their doll sexuality that does not jive with their own beliefs, I wonder if they do get enjoyment out of it. Can anyone answer this? On the whole, I believe all of us chooses a doll sexuality that we would enjoy or at least, be neutral about.

For the case of someone who likes to have bi/gay dolls but dislike bi/gay people in real life...it feels to me that it would be something people would have trouble coming to terms with purely because the person is reaping enjoyment from bi/homosexuality, but in real life, opposes/dislikes it.

Most of us probably choose our doll sexuality without much thought but in this case, I think it's become a mite complex. While to err is human, there's nothing stopping us from gaining awareness on our own illogical thought processes or from improving/changing ourselves. I think it's also good to be aware purely to avoid from offending people on a forum as large as this or just to avoid from confusion.

This is such a strange topic for me because I did not expect doll sexuality of all things to bring up such discussions.

 

-Did you know your doll was going to be gay when you bought him/her?

No because I did not know dolls had a personality, and also I didn't know they could have a preference.
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-What draws you to wanting gay dolls?

I do not really care if they want to be straight or gay. Its all who's doll they fall in love with or cling to. I mean sure I have a few doll molds I would like to buy in the future who maybe would be gay for a different mold but I do not plan their sexuality that is up to them
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-Do your doll/s cause controversy within your family? If not to they accept it or have you just not told them?

My mother does not care in the least bit. I myself am Lesbian so why would it matter. My father however who doesn't know my sexuality would disapprove completely. He is very southern and very rural as is the rest of that side.
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-Are there certain sculpts that tend to demand to be gay or do you choose all on your own?

My DZ mo is very gay, he isn't flamboyant but does not like girls- as lovers or friends. He is very arrogant and tends to only really favor his lover.
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-Do your dolls reflect something in yourself or is their sexuality completely dependent?

I am an anime lover, anime is how I discovered these dolls and I am a yaoi lover. It might have something to do with it but I do not think so. I usually tend to have more taste in girls in relationship so maybe me who is in a homosexual state of mind is reflected upon it onto my dolls.
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-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner whose doll is also gay or bi to hook up with?

Well with Reila (DZ mo) I felt it necessary that he at least have friends. I never planned to buy another doll for him to have a love relationship with. Actually my very good friend who found out what BJDs were through me has a boy doll and we joked about how they will be gay together which in my mind didn't believe it would happen because Reila is very bitter. It ended up him absoluting adoring my friend's. So it was all a silly joke that really happened.
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-Did any of your dolls end up being gay even if it was not intended or against your beliefs?

I was not shocked nor do I have a closed mind on homosexuality.
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-Are there any people you do not feel comfortable with sharing his/her sexuality with?

Yes, my father and father's family. Other than that no.
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-Is your doll gay simply because you are and straight just doesn't appeal to you?

No he chose to be gay I feel like though I never really said he was straight either. He was in the middle. My girl doll is straight and I could not love her any less than him ​

 

-Did you know your doll was going to be straight when you bought him/her?

Yes and no. I assumed she would be straight that is what she strikes me as.
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-Did you choose for them to be straight or did they demand or ask to be so?

Not really I figured she would be the head I also ordered with her I debated them having a love relationship but ended up not wanting it. She did not demand wither haha I couldn't see such a sweet heart as her demanding anything.
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-Are your dolls straight as opposed to gay or bi due to your own personal beliefs or because of the beliefs of family?

No she is just straight. She does not believe she is interested in girls she gets very blushed and shy when the thought of her being gay comes up.
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-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy
(or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner whose doll is also straight to hook up with?

No she already has a lover. An arranged marriage (she likes it she thinks it is romantic) with a friend's doll named seek.
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-Are there any sculpts that demand to be straight or do you choose regardless or sculpt?

Nope they both kind of chose their sexuality.
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-Is your doll obviously straight or does their style suggest otherwise? (a boy that wears pink for example.)

Obviously, she dresses like a plain Jane.
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I am fervently against population growth, but I have a doll that I chose to make heterosexual and mother of two. I must confess that sometimes I feel conflicted because I feel that it's no longer the safe and nurturing social model it once was before human overpopulation caused so much environmental destruction, so why am I upholding it? Then I have to step back a bit and realize that my dolls aren't exactly environmentally friendly either, and at least I'm just exploring the positive concept of motherhood through fiction instead of actually procreating. I don't feel that I'm mocking heterosexuality or motherhood or children by owning dolls to whom I've assigned those roles. I don't have anything against heterosexuals, parents or children, I just don't think that the earth can sustain us all and things are going to go pear-shaped really soon. Which also probably means no more doll hobby for me.

 

I think I am in the wrong thread, oops, sorry

 

Very intriguing question! I was just wondering about this when I was viewing the Gallery and the option of Orientation was listed.

And I loved reading everyone's responses. I guess it would be same for me. It would depend on the story for each doll. I do have 2 other female dolls (but off topic for this forum) that were intended as a couple based on their story. And I just love it.

What I love most is diversity in doll play. So I would welcome dolls of all types of Orientation and all the other qualities that make us so unique.

 

*Note: Although I do not own a doll as of yet, these questions can be answered for me too, as I collect another sort of doll other than BJ Doll.

For those with Gay dolls
-Did you know your doll was going to be gay when you bought him/her?
When I got my dolls, I knew instantaneously whether or not the would be gay.

-What draws you to wanting gay dolls?
Being homosexual myself, it is easier for me to relate to a doll who is gay, it makes, for me, the relationships with my dolls more intimate, the female dolls I have, I feel less connected too

-Do your doll/s cause controversy within your family? If not to they accept it or have you just not told them?
The Dolls I own, are different than BJ Dolls, and they still cause controversy in my family (mine are porcelain faced soft dolls) I have showed my family the BJ doll I intend to get, and it still makes them a little wary
-Are there certain sculpts that tend to demand to be gay or do you choose all on your own?
Sculpts matter not, I have a set of twins, one who is gay the other who is strait. Their individual personalities make them who they are

-Do your dolls reflect something in yourself or is their sexuality completely dependent?
There is a connection between the owner's heart and their dolls hearts, but for me it's a minimal connection

-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner whose doll is also gay or bi to hook up with?
No, a doll will fall in love when he or she pleases, some dolls, I do not expect to fall in love, and, miraculously they do.

-Did any of your dolls end up being gay even if it was not intended or against your beliefs?
Nothing is against my beliefs, I let the doll come to me and decide.

-Are there any people you do not feel comfortable with sharing his/her sexuality with?
No, there has never been any problem, it they are gay and someone wants to know, I'll tell them

-Is your doll gay simply because you are and straight just doesn't appeal to you?

No, I have plenty of strait and gay dolls both, but, I have had gay dolsl who become strait, or who love women, or women who love males and vice versa.

 

What you say makes a lot of sense.

For me, my dolls are more connected to me than each other sometimes, and sometimes one of them hates me and it just feels like shit on my part. You know? I beg and I plead but no apology makes things better, I don't know ever waht to do with dolls who dislike me or are distant from me.

(in reguards to what you said, I was never given dolls so it's different for me, besides that both my parents were whores and not together ever. So, different values I suppose)

 

I really like what St. James said about how her dolls relationships are unlike her own because she's not interested in depicting what is everyday for her. I feel the same way. I am hetrosexual, have been with the same man for 11 years, and have two kids under the age of 4. When I see people who create nuclear families with their dolls, it just doesn't work for me. Tiny dolls don't hold my interest as children. In my doll garden, the smaller you are, the more evil you are so a puki would have to be the devil itself. So here I am, with a group of monogamous pairs of bisexuals, homosexuals, atransgendered woman, a beastman, and a few undecideds on the outskirts. i don't claim to know everything about feelings and motivations outside of myself, but for me, this collection of different genders is just "right" for me. It floats my boat and makes me happy.

 

For those with straight dolls
-Did you know your doll was going to be straight when you bought him/her?
Completely. There was no doubt in my mind.

-Did you choose for them to be straight or did they demand or ask to be so?
A bit of both. Mostly the first.

-Are your dolls straight as opposed to gay or bi due to your own personal beliefs or because of the beliefs of family?
She has my beliefs - whatever floats your boat! We have no problem with it, just don't come on to us.

-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner whose doll is also straight to hook up with?
COMPLETELY! She always looks so lonely, in all the photos I take of her (even when I don't plan for her to look lonely! I'm currently saving up for her lover.

-Are there any sculpts that demand to be straight or do you choose regardless or sculpt?
Sculpt has something to play in it, but I think I mainly choose.

-Is your doll obviously straight or does thier style suggest otherwise? (a boy that wears pink for example.)
Cecilia just looks like a late 1800's girl. So, I suppose she appears obviously straight. (Corset, multiple skirts, you know...)

 

-Did you know your doll was going to be gay when you bought him/her?
I did indeed know. He is based off one of my characters.

-What draws you to wanting gay dolls?
Well to be honest, I myself am Bisexual and consider myself to be bigender. I think it's one way of me being able to express that, since no one really knows except my closest friends. And DOA lol

-Do your doll/s cause controversy within your family? If not to they accept it or have you just not told them?
My parents have no interest in my doll, so I don't bother to tell them

-Are there certain sculpts that tend to demand to be gay or do you choose all on your own?
I don't think any particular sculpt screams "this character would have to be gay" to me. I choose based on what I think the character looks like.

-Do your dolls reflect something in yourself or is their sexuality completely dependent?
See the answer to why am I drawn to gay dolls

-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner whose doll is also gay or bi to hook up with?
Well I'm currently saving for another doll which is my dolls partner. But like I said they are based on characters I have so it's more because I feel he looks lonely all by himself.

-Did any of your dolls end up being gay even if it was not intended or against your beliefs?
Nope! I'm very open minded I've had characters that ended up being gay without the intention of it. It just happens sometimes.

-Are there any people you do not feel comfortable with sharing his/her sexuality with?
Nah Not really.

-Is your doll gay simply because you are and straight just doesn't appeal to you?
I'm bisexual, but I have straight characters too

 

*cracks up* Well, Puki is another name for the Trickster, Puck....

For me, most of my dolls or the ones I want to create as dolls are preexisting characters. Sometimes their sexuality is integral to their character, sometimes it isn't. It all comes down to how the character presents themselves to me. I'm one of those ones where I like to know my characters inside and out, and something as basic as sexuality will always be one of those things that I think of right after basic personality. Sure, maybe some of it reflects on my own fetishes and kinks, but does that really matter? We're human, the dolls are sculpted to look somewhat human, and humans, as a whole, are weird. :3

 

For those with undecided or bi dolls

-Was your doll at first intended to be either gay or straight and neither seemed to fit or were they always going to be bi?

It's funny. The more I thought about the people around her, the more Sonia's sexuality came out. Her primary is male, but she has a very deep emotional attachment to her Empress. She just turned out bi.

-Do you feel your doll expresses thing in yourself or is his/her sexuality independent?

Not sure. I think she's independent, because she comes from a world where same sex pairs have less of a stigma, so she's very open about her feelings for women, just not that one woman in particular.

-Does your doll cause conflict with friends and family?

Nope. The topic of who my doll sleeps with just never comes up. I'll buy her boyfriend soon enough and if anybody asks about her girlfriend, I won't bring it up unless they do.

-Do you ever say your doll is either straight or gay to please someone else or to avoid drama?

I wouldn't. The best way to avoid drama would be pointing out that, honestly, what does it matter?

-Is your doll bi even though it is against your beliefs?

Nope. I'm a Christian, but I believe that my God doesn't care what you do in bed, as long as you aren't hurting anyone.

-Do you feel the need to give your doll a partner? If so, do you wish to buy (or already have bought) him/her, or do you find another doll owner to hook up with?

Since her story calls for a very specific pair of partners, I'm going to buy him. I might hook up my other prospective dolls with other people's dolls, but Sonia/Killian, Sonia/Elena, and Elena/Yulian are sacrosanct in my eyes.

-Do you feel the need to give your doll both a boy and a girl friend, or does he/her have a single friend and just has feelings for the other gender as well?

I hadn't planned on Sonia having more than one lover, but it looks like that'll happen anyway. She might flirt with other girls, though.

 

Just as a friendly word of advice -- in a community as large and as varied in its make-up as DoA, you may be assured that offensive comments in one thread will be taken into consideration when viewing your words in others. When we have nothing to go off but words when communicating, each of those words is weighed more heavily against the whole. The wiser course of action would be to acknowledge the error, accept your error, and learn from it rather than requesting people ignore it. Slurs and insults deriving from sexuality are powerful things when it comes to offense, just as slurs and insults based on race -- or religion -- can be.

Now, that said...

My dolls' characters have sexualities, yes, but I've never really put a lot of thought into it. This is largely because none of my dolls come from storylines (yet) where they have set partners or very defined sexual natures, so thus none of my dolls will be the recipient of a partner out of my own collection. Two of my dolls could probably be reasonably defined as 'gay', one bisexual, one too matter-of-fact to care, and one yes-please. It's not something I focus on in my dolls, however. One of those cases of 'to each their own'. When I start really writing the story that I'm building for them (which has been sitting on my hard drive for months, stymied by a lack of weather and time for good photoshoots) this may well change, but for now it's not a prime concern.

My dolls' gender preferences might cause some friction with my family, if I cared to go in depth about it (I was also raised LDS). However, I don't. They're not in the hobby, so I don't see the need to bring it up, and they don't ask. I don't live at home, so it isn't as though I need to answer to them. Then again, my family also falls firmly on the side of the 'accepting of all' spectrum, so perhaps it wouldn't be an issue after all. The belief around here is very much live-and-let-live and I tend to take that outlook with just about everyone's situation in life.

 

I find it slightly sad you only focus on me mentioning your error, but won't look at why I did it. I wanted to illustrate that you made a mistake, because you were ignorant about how offensive certain things can be. Those things can happen and ignorance is excusable. However, the excuse of ignorance cannot be used twice in the same matter. That's what my advice to you was.
If you keep making similar mistakes, people may think you're doing it on purpose and that would be a downer for the rather interesting discussion that's going on in this thread.

I wonder about this too. In post #30 I mentioned I don't have dolls with sexuality that conflicts with my own beliefs, because it would otherwise cause me too much stress and I see this as a fun hobby. Do people who have dolls with characteristics they disapprove of like the conflict or is there more to it?
I for example have a doll character with such a background that would make him a murderer, which conflicts with what I think is "okay", but in the tradition of Gothic Horror novels (which is a literary genre and has nothing to do with eyeliner and black lace) it is part of a redemption story.
Instead of boring people with details of a story I made up, I'll just refer to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, a fine example of Gothic Horror tradition and a story most people are more or less familiar with, in which the main character transgresses (messes with life and creates a monster), get's several chances to take responsibility for his mistake, and because he doesn't he loses all the people he holds dear and dies as a miserable man. A lot of people get murdered in this story, but murder is not glorified. It is an integral part of a story about (in case of Dr. Frankenstein more or less failed) redemption. I think that's better than just saying "Because it's fiction, it's okay for me to like it."
That makes me wonder just like LJK how people get enjoyment out of having a doll with a sexuality that conflicts with their own beliefs? In the incubus example I mentioned earlier, I cut out the part I couldn't live with and thus taking away the conflict. If you keep the conflict intact, is it because you find the conflict interesting or is there something else that makes the conflict tolerable?

I think St. James is the only one who has answered LJK's question so far. It's an interesting answer. Mothers with children exist in the real world, so why not in a fictional world too as the dolls themselves are also environment unfriendly? Sort of an acceptance of what you can't escape. At least, that's what I think St. James meant.

 

I can't speak for those who have beliefs that castigate certain natural variations of human sexuality because I don't share those beliefs. I have, however, assigned certain attributes and actions to my dolls' personalities that violate my own moral code (i.e. murder and procreation). These fictional "sins" don't keep me up at night wracked with guilt; they haven't actually been committed.
The interesting part of the conflict for me is A) what sort of character would this person had to have been to get to this point B) how are they going to go forward with their lives and C) how do I express all of this in a portrait of a doll? I'm a big fan of symbolist figurative photography and certain portrait photographers who manage to reveal the personal depths of their subjects, so the more complex the personality I've imposed on my doll the more challenging (and fun) it is to photograph them.

 

-Did you know your doll was going to be gay when you bought him/her?
In this particular instance the doll arrived with me and as I explored her character as it attached to her sculpt I realized that she was a lesbian. All of my dolls have planned characters, however most of their characteristics come to me as I explore the expressive nature of the mold.
-What draws you to wanting gay dolls?
I never particularly thought to myself 'this one will be gay!' It just fit with her character so I went with it. (Truth be told a large part of it is simply that Amber is such a beautiful mold I love posing her with other beautiful girls. )
-Do your doll/s cause controversy within your family? If not to they accept it or have you just not told them?
My family doesn't really care about the character aspect of my dolls, they are really only interested in their aesthetic so I have never bothered to tell them. If I told my mom that my girl was a lesbian she would probably just ask me "How would YOU know. It's not like she can tell you."
-Are there certain sculpts that tend to demand to be gay or do you choose all on your own?
It is never the sculpt alone to me, it is how the sculpt relates to the character. I can very easily think of a character to fit with my Ambers sculpt who is not a lesbian but with the particular story and character I have attached to the sculpt it just so happens that she is.
-Do your dolls reflect something in yourself or is their sexuality completely dependent?
Well seeing as I have dolls of all sexual orientations I have to say that it is not directly related to my own sexuality.
-Did any of your dolls end up being gay even if it was not intended or against your beliefs?
I was raised in an environment which was very open about sexual preference so there is very little in terms of sexuality which IS against my beliefs.
-Are there any people you do not feel comfortable with sharing his/her sexuality with?
Having friends of all different sexualities (and being at a liberal arts university) I have a hard time finding people who are NOT open to all different sexualities. That being said I have one friend who mocks me for making one of my dolls a lesbian, but that doesn't stop me from talking about it when the subject comes up.

The same as above can really be said for my dolls whom are straight and Bi.
Now onto a question that I found most interesting that came up in this thread.

I can answer this I suppose. (Though it does not have to do so much with sexuality as with relationships.)
In my own opinion the worst type of relationship is one which is unequal, where one member of the relationship has power or authority over the other and takes advantage of it. However I have a character whom I put into that situation in my story. He is forced into a sexual relationship with an authority figure in his life at a time when he was still exploring his own sexuality and interests. Though this goes against my own beliefs immensely and it was a very difficult decision for me to make with the regards to the character it made him more real to me.
The story I am trying to tell is one of recovery, many of my characters have something they are having a difficult time overcoming, be it sickness or trauma. Much of what has happened to my characters I do not condone. However it makes the story of their overcoming that difficulty all the more rewarding. That is the case with my boy, though I put him into the worst type of situations in terms of his sexuality by the end of the story he is able to overcome it and come into his own sexuality safely.
My apologies for the ramble.

(my goodness I spent ages writing and rewriting this so that it sounded right to me.)