Regretting Getting Involved in BJDs?

Amen to that!

 

I don't regret getting into dolls at all ^^ But I do understand why someone could regret it, ane not just because of how expensive the hobby is. I kinda regret getting into one animanga series fandom... Sometimes we start taking things too seriously, too personally, and forget it's all *for fun* We get jealous of others, we try too hard to impress people, we care too much about others' opinions... and suddenly we realize we feel more negative feelings than positive, when we are here just for fun...

But thankfully I have no negative feelings when it comes to this hobby

 

I wouldn't say that I regret the hobby, exactly... but I do wonder if taking part in it was the best choice. I suspect that it wasn't, and that I would have maintained more of an interest in other, now dormant activities if I'd never purchased my first dolls, or if I'd just stopped with Harumatsu and Tien Jen.

 

I've met one or two unpleasant people too and if they were the majority of people I met it would definitely put me off socializing with other doll owners, but I think I'd still buy dolls, if only for my own enjoyment. My solution has been just to withdraw from groups where these people are and avoid them. There are still plenty of people to play with. Nastiness makes me tired and life's too short to pay them any attention, which is actually what they want.

 

As others have mentioned the oversensitive attitude that's been fostered among the community over the last few years is probably the only thing that makes me 'regret' getting into the hobby.
Being able to give and take constructive critique is so important when it comes to improving ones skills in any art form and since photography's the aspect of the hobby that I mostly focus on it's something I find incredibly frustrating. It's very difficult to get good, honest crits here on DoA, it's no fault of the admins but you see so many crit threads with comments that basically amount to 'I like this.' which are largely useless to someone who's looking to improve what ever it is they've put up for critique.
The same goes for the debate threads, it's almost impossible for people to express a differing view point without someone crying 'personal attack' which really kind of defeats the whole object of them. I'm all for people being polite to one another and not ripping chunks out of other members for the sheer sake of it but it's reached the point that any disagreement is automatically branded bullying or personal attacks, it's kind of ridiculous.

That said though I've made so many awesome friends through the hobby, had fantastic times at meets and chatting to people online that the good vastly outweighs the negative for the most part.
There is a lot to be said for most of the community, we look out for each other, especially over on dA people are very good at watching each others backs when it comes to image theft and dealing with it, as well as keeping an eye out for recasts etc I wouldn't change that for anything.

 

Yeah, I don't get it either. Sure, there is drama, but this is a large community comprised of all sorts of people. People do not get along all of the time, no matter how nice or intelligent or great they are. And to be perfectly blunt, it's stupid to think it's always going to be sunshine and roses and no one will ever fight or meet someone they can't stand. It's just the way the world works.

The community is what you make of it. I really don't get along well with the more sensitive types because I am not one or people who really are into their dolls being alive or having souls or any of that because I think it's nonsense. I simply don't have to interact with them and leave them go about their business so no one's hurt (them) or aggravated (me). If you are not enjoying something, don't do it. If someone is ruining your fun, don't talk to them. The internet is pretty great in that it really lets you do just that in a lot of situations that are harder to get away from in person.

I sometimes think about what I could be spending all of my money on if I weren't involved in this hobby anymore, and it probably boils down to spending it on other hobby things. I have made some great friends through this hobby and it's helped strengthen older friendships that existed before we all got dolls. It can be lots of fun and has helped me get better at taking photos. All in all, I am pretty happy I have these silly dolls. Whenever I get annoyed with the people in the hobby, I go do something else or stop reading DoA for a couple of days. Works pretty well for me.

 

I could say I regret the money spent or the space taken up... but I don't really think I do, I was just wasting it on junk before.

My only regret is not listening to the great advice on DOA, I can be really really subborn when it comes to things like that and I've wasted a lot of money and energy because I didn't listen.
I read the advice that said look at the sizes and chose the one you want, I said screw it I'm gonna force myself to like a tiny. I read the advice that said choose a sculpt you like not the cheapest one you can find, I said no I'm going for the cheapest.... I could go on like that for ages...

 

I don't regret anything. This hobby is perfect for me because I love to create, design and just looking at these beautiful dolls makes me smile. This community is interesting. There is negativity, but in the end, what other people think doesn't matter so much to me. I've attempted faceups that turned horrible and failed many times at sewing, but that only makes me want to try harder. =)

 

That is exactly how i feel, i regret that i can't share dolls with others here in Arizona because most of the "unpleasent people" are the ones who organize local groups, the cool fun people have moved farther away and onto other things. but i can just be happy with my dolls by myself, this hobby still has many good sides I just hope that no one will get completely shunned like i was by a group, it's the only reason i talk about my story anymore.

 

My only regret is that this very involved hobby has taken time from my other artistic pursuits, and after the day job is over, there are simply not enough hours in the day to paint all the dollies I have in mind AND design clothes AND construct sets AND photograph AND write about the characters that have inspired the dolls in the first place. Not to mention other hobbies and interests that I otherwise would have more time pursuing. For example, I used to be a serious WoW player, and I haven't even played the expansion yet... Having to budget time is my main complaint.

 

I'm curious to know why we should all be critiquing everyone else's dolls. I understand if a person asks for a critique, but this is a hobby, after all, not a massive competition. I'm also curious to know why having a nice, sugary place to talk about dolls is a bad thing. The world can be a pretty rotten place, which is why I imagine many people have hobbies to begin with; hobby fun-time means a nice escape from the rotten, ya know? I like that this is a generally very squishy, happy forum. I get enough criticism piled on me in my real life, the last thing I want is a bunch piled on me when I'm trying to have fun.

Please don't take my questions as cranky or sarcastic, I'm genuinely curious.

 

Whenever I feel regret about this hobby, it's regret for not having an on-topic doll I can share. I love hearing about other peoples dolls and learning about them, but I cannot bring myself to get a full-fledged ABJD. They're very expensive, and I have a very hard time with spending money. Also, I really enjoy the ones I have. They're not fancy, but they have a part of me in them, and they're mine.

It's hard being "halfway in the door," but that's kinda where I am. Prolly where I'll be for a while.

 

I really enjoyed reading this thread with all its varied answers.

I'm with Kiyakotari, Katyok and Brightfires. I don't regret diving into the hobby and beautifying my life with pretty and expressive dolls, but I wonder if it's a good idea for my creative life in the long run. I've noticed that most of my "creative" pursuits nowadays involve getting my dolls to look exactly as I want them to look. "Creative" in quotes because it stands below my deeper, older artistic passions, which are drawing, creative writing, roleplaying and world-building.

I'm in graduate school, and before I discovered BJDs about 8 months after I began the grad program, I was doing a lot of art in my free time. That went out the window after I discovered the hobby, and ever since, I've just gone down this path of least resistance. When time is a premium and RL is challenging and very busy, it's much easier to jettison the more mentally and technically demanding activities, and stick with the easier ones. It's just easier, coming home after a mentally exhausting day at lab, to just look for clothes for my dolls and admire them as eye candy, than to break out the camera and do photoshoots, or get back into my artwork. If I didn't discover this hobby, I think I'd be doing a lot more drawing. (OTOH, I may also be playing a lot more computer games. Who knows!)

Ultimately, I'm just not exerting myself with the same artistic, creative drive as I used to. It doesn't help that I don't sew or do aesthetics/modding (simply not interested), only photography, and even then I don't do it as much as I'd like. That's my regret: that I've let BJDs become a "lesser" (just to me - you may disagree and that's fine!) creative outlet for myself.

But I must say, I don't think I would've entered the hobby if my RL situation at the time wasn't so difficult, considering I'd known about BJDs for quite a few years before I actually joined DoA and got my first doll. And my dolls have been, and are, a big source of pleasure for me. I do wonder what would happen if I cashed out and left the hobby entirely, return to the pre-BJD days of my life, and pretend that I'd never joined in the first place. Maybe I will really do that one day. Not now, however!

 

I was just talking about this topic with a friend. I'm new to this hobby, as in I haven't even started it yet. I have no doll to speak of but as a seamstress it appeals to my creative side. I've come across a few dolls that interest me and if the time/money is right then I will probably buy one. The friend I was asking about this has been in the doll community for a few years now and has quite a collection. So far she does not have regrets about her hobby but I think that I am the kind of person who might. I just wouldn't want to spend all that money on something and then in a few months loose interest. I do tend to hop around to different hobbies I don't just have one. For instance I'll play a video game for two weeks and that's all I'll do, then one day I wont feel like playing it anymore and won't touch it for months. Its not just games it's every kind of pastime thing i take part in. I'll get obsessed with it and then loose interest completely. Thinking about it though, I've never gotten rid of my game system or my computer or my sewing machine or my roller skates. So I guess it would be okay to "put it down" for a little while and come back to it. Has anyone here done that? Put it down (so to speak) and come back to it at a later time?

 

No, I don't believe in regret. Waste of energy. You make the choices you make, and you're into whatever you're into when you're feeling into it. Your choices build layers of character onto you, like forming a pearl. I don't regret having had other hobbies before this, so there's no reason I'd regret this one. I like these dolls, I like having a whole bunch of em in my living room, I like the friends they've caused me to meet (online and IRL), I like photographing them, I like that I learned good photography because of them, and I like the activities we get to do with & around them. If I get tired of it, I'll go do something else.

"Daddy?"
"Yes, son?"
"What does 'regret' mean?"
"Well, son, a funny thing about regret is... that it's always better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done."
(-name that tune)

 

I think the only time I ever somewhat regret getting into the BJD hobby is when I think about how much money I've spent, and how much money I'll continue to spend in the future on dolly stuff. Although I do love my dolls, I feel guilty sometimes about having such an expensive hobby.

 

I agree with bunnyboo on that sentiment.

but also I regret the many mistakes i've made in the hobby over the years - impulse buying too much/not bonding/other hazards...but in the end it becomes a learning experience of sorts.

 

I do this all the time. The thing about dolls is that they'll still be there ready and waiting when you're ready to pick them up again.

Occasionally I "regret" in the sense that I have so many unfinished projects and never enough time/energy to do all of them, especially not as fast as I want to. Sometimes I do end up basically not touching my dolls for months, because of Real Life being complicated or whatever else. But whenever I start to feel like I'm not playing with them enough or something and I should just sell them, I realize that every time I try to figure out who I would sell that I can't bear to part with any of them. So I try not to stress about it, because obviously they still mean something to me even if I'm not actively playing with them every day. Sometimes I just have them sitting near my desk for a while, present even if I never touch them. It's just nice to have them there. And I really don't impulse buy so I haven't (yet) gotten myself into too much trouble with the money angle.

It's interesting to see some people talking about the change in their creative pursuits from writing/art/etc to dolls - to me, the dolls actually helped re-inspire two long-dormant novel projects, so it was really the opposite. I can understand the feeling, though. Especially the feeling of never being able to do everything you want. I want to sew my dolls amazing clothes, and mod them all myself, and take amazing pictures/photostories of them, and oh yes still make things for myself. And write books. ALL AT ONCE YES. (Just a teensy bit overambitious...)

I've made many friends thanks to the dolls, in addition to being re-inspired on at least one story idea that I thought was dead for sure. I certainly can't regret actually getting into the hobby, even if I do occasionally suffer bouts of frustration regarding one thing or another about it. But that's just how things are, in every hobby and life in general. I do try to look on the positive side of my hobbies, after all fun is what they're for.

 

I think like that, too. I only buy a doll that I really want and never buy on impulse, but that makes it only harder.
And I really don't want to end up with too many dolls.