Rude/mean comments about your dolls

I find it interesting that this thread is going on along side another thread about if anyone else finds character dolls/dolls based on celebrities weird or creepy. I mean isn't the whole point of THAT thread to take a dump on something that many doll collectors enjoy, but the OP doesn't? I've seen dolls I didn't think a whole lot of - or even thought it was weird - but I just don't see it as my place to try and take away from someone else's enjoyment of their dolls.

And yes - as I shared in the other thread I had some people call my Sandor Clegane doll weird or creepy, and then those same people turned around and sent me DMs asking for naked pics of my doll. I also sometimes get someone asking me how old I am and aren't I a little old for dolls. No. I'm not, and I never will be.

 

The only People that has given me flag for having dolls are really only family. But I keep Them mostly to myself, when i bring Them with me its to feel more calm in public or going to a meet.
People tend to mind their own buissness in denmark, there are arses but in the 10+ years i've been in the doll hobby No stranger has made rude comment, a few h's asked about Them, curiously, and complemented Them.

 

That thread really serves as a cruel reminder as to how mean and judgmental people in the BJD community can be. Not that I expected any better, but it didn't make it hurt any less, either.

 

I looked at the discussion after reading your comment and don't think that they are trying to make look other collectors bad. Rather, I have the impression that the participants are trying to define for themselves the boundary between the privacy of famous people and injurious interventions in said privacy by means of Bjd representations. And I think it's good that people are sensitized to this topic.

 

If it were merely about boundaries, people wouldn't be using loaded words like "weird", or "creepy", or "stalkerish" to make their point.

Dolls in the likeness of others is nothing new, which makes the whole thing all the more suspect.

 

I believe it has to do with a kind of unwritten form of "privacy" or idol worship, same as people who frown upon "shipping" people IRL. Which I do agree with somewhat. And personally I think I'd be uncomfortable with an anatomically correct Tom Hiddleston doll. But they are actors and many of them already have dolls made of them, albeit not with such detail. At the same time, I do wonder if Minime dolls break any sort of copyright laws? For celebrities, their image is their product, and perhaps making dolls that specifically look like them and selling them commercially without their consent is a little odd. But I don't really know the legality of it.

So for me, it's not so much that the concept of the doll itself is creepy, but that I question what societal lines are being crossed.

At the same time, I agree with the above comment. I think people are going the wrong direction with their attacks and reducing the collectors to "creepy stalkers", but this seems more in line with the trend of finding the most controversial takes in order to make yourself appear more morally correct than others.

 

My personal feelings on the matter are that if I was famous, and someone made a doll of me, I'd probably think it was neat, and want to see. I'd be super curious what body they put me on. But, there would be plenty of things they could do with that doll in photos, or in description that would be uncomfortable to me. I agree with the assessment that it's about boundaries, and I think that loaded language comes from it not being a boundary that can be quite uncomfortable for some. If someone had an incredibly detailed doll of me, including very specific details about what they think I look like naked, you can understand the instinct to react strongly.

The thing is, in fan communities, this has always existed. RPF, and similar, and a boundary I've seen commonly encouraged is not involving the actor/celebrity/etc in it. Which I think is fair. If I was famous, my image has in some sense become publicly available in a way that it isn't with me as just a regular person. And people's responses to that image may not be to my liking all the time, but I think that it's generally harmless to make dolls of real people, provided you're being mindful of what extent you involve that person in it. I think it would be really cool, as mentioned, to see a doll of me, but I might not be so on board with being, for instance tagged in nudes of that doll and asked if I actually look like that (this isn't an example that to my knowledge has happened, so it's being used purely hypothetically here).

 

I've had some rude comments but generally speaking, most of my friends, family members, and coworkers have been very supportive if just a little bit skeptical.

 

Personally ibwish none of my male dolls were anatomically correct - call me a prude but it embarrasses me. As for Sandor I've already said I will super glue underwear onto him before I take him to any conventions

 

I hear you! I display some of my dolls around kids and so I take extra care to make sure they're "Barbie" down there.

 

The new Muse body from Luts is really appealing to me for that. It’s really nice. I wish all dolls had that option.

or the removable dicks. They’re funny and you can take them off.

 

Shortly after getting my first doll, one twit flipped up her skirt and commented on her butt. I was yelled at for expressing my displeasure.

 

That may be a reason, but it's not a valid excuse to paint everyone that has a doll based on a real person as some sort of sleazy creep with a deranged fetish, and all the extreme, hypothetical scenarios border into the alarmist absurd. Judging without context hurts; it doesn't help anyone.

This is a hobby that's already divisive in the grand scheme of things. We don't need even more negative stereotypes making people feel like an outsider's outsider. There's a reason people avoid the community at whole, or drop out entirely, and this is one of the biggest exemplars of why.

 

I don’t think anyone here is arguing that we should think that way about these collectors.

 

The worst I've gotten is my dad telling me my dolls are "creepy" or "scary". I just ignore it. People can say what they want about my dolls or my hobby. At the end of the day I enjoy it, so I don't care what others think.

 

I’m not painting a negative stereotype. I emphasized aspects of it that could be uncomfortable, I emphasized the ability to moderate that tension between the celebrity’s discomfort and the artist’s creation, and I referenced the instinct to polarized language as deriving from the potential discomfort that could arise from a specific potential element of shelling a real person doll. I constructed a hypothetical scenario to engage with why the more porentially divisive aspect—the potential for naked representation—had its place but might not be ideal to contact the person being represented with—much like discussions I’ve seen in fan art circles. I emphasized that I was using a hypothetical I had never seen before to ensure it wasn’t there to create blame, or judge actions I’ve seen anyone real do. It’s a thought experiment to try to think about the interplay between real people having boundaries and artistic expression, using one of few things I could think of that would make me uncomfortable if I was the celebrity. I’m not making stereotypes, or trying to other anyone in this thread, I’m trying to explore a topic in a way that is respectful of multiple perspectives (ie: that of the subject and that of the artist). You’ve taken every word I’ve said in bad faith, implied I’m calling people with dolls based on real people any number of derogatory names I have not and do not mean, and indicated that my post on a bjd-specific forum is contributing to a stigma around our hobby, none of which are true.

I could tell this was a polarizing issue, and I’d hoped to discuss it to get other perspectives from people with other experiences or boundaries. I think it’s best we drop this conversation if we aren’t able to engage here collaboratively and in good faith.

 

I was concerned that my social circle would be creeped out by my dolls, but in talking about getting into them, I found out that more than one of my friends has been into BJDs! So it was really exciting being able to talk with them about it. All of my friends have been super supportive, followed my doll Instagram and everything. My wife is understandably a little creeped out by the totally nude dolls with no eyes, but she's generally supportive too -- it probably helps that she's an artist and we have similar tastes.

 

I wish people in the hobby were a bit ruder or meaner sometimes, maybe just more critical.

 

Someone I know through a group chat called my dolls scary and was continuing with the mean comments. I told her to stop and to understand that they are not scary to me. She got really defensive over the comments and I just...stopped talking in that group chat because of her. She tried apologizing the next day but she honestly really hurt me with those comments. It's okay if you don't like them but to say they're scary, that you'd hurt them, etc. Sometimes people are just rude.

 

I think people who are mean to others for ANY reason, are just showing their ignorance and immaturity. It fortunately hasn't happened often to me, but when it does, it can sting for a little while and then tell yourself that you are the better person. Feel sorry for them. Don't let anyone have the power to change how you feel or behave.

I did have a weird incident with a "hater". I moved in with a new housemate, and a few weeks after I moved in I got a doll shipment delivered to the house which was from China. My housemate freaked out and was terrified that the resin would be radioactive and cause us to get cancer. She got this idea because some silver plated jewelry imported from Asia has harmful toxins in the metal alloy. Needless to say, I never let her know about my dolls after that. I keep them in my own room and keep my door closed. Silly woman LOL